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GUYS | GIRL TALK

175 Comments | Add Yours

GIRL TALK: Will Popularity Bust Her BGF Bond?

yourmother.jpg

Hey people. I'm in desperate need of advice right now. Ok, here's my problem:I've had a crush on this boy (I'll call him Cam) for about a year and a half. He's really nice and cute and the best thing I liked about him is that he isn't obsessed about being popular or cool like most of the other boys are. Cam is in my circle of friends, and he sits with us at lunch and hangs out with us almost every day. He's one of my best guy friends. But on the bus today (he rides my bus), this popular girl said "You're not even popular, Cam" and he said "You know what? I'm going to sit with you guys at lunch tomorrow. I'm sick of sitting with these...people" and I could tell he was going to say something else but wouldn't since I was right there.

I feel betrayed and hurt. Cam is acting like a hypocrite. Usually he avoids the popular crowd whenever he can because he hates how they act so arrogant all the time, but now he'll probably become one of them. I feel like I'm losing him, and it's even worse because I have a crush on him. I don't even know why he would do this. I know for a fact Cam likes hanging out with me and the rest of the people at our table. Sometimes kids make fun of him for sitting with us because the majority of our crowd is girls, so maybe that's why? I need help. What do I do now? Give him the silent treatment? Talk to him? Fight with him? I don't want him to think I'm controlling his life, but it's just that he's never acted like this before. Should I get over him? If so, HOW? I've fallen pretty hard for this guy. Please help soon!

-YOUR MOTHER'

Hi hun,
I know this is a tough sitch. It always is when you're on the outside looking in...but what you probably realize is that being on the outside is better. Cam maybe does too, but you're going to have to explain your feelings to him. The good news is that he realizes how arrogant that crowd is. Give him examples of how he is acting just the same, but in a nice way. You don't want to hurt him as he hurt you. You should give that as one of the examples by the way. If he is a true friend (and hopefully maybe more) he will take note of the fact that he has hurt someone who he cares about. Some people jump, no matter how high, at the opportunity to be popular. I hope that Cam realizes through your talk with him and examples that he should stay true to himself. If things don't work out, I wouldn't start a fight with him, that will only make it worse. And, if he does decide that being in the "In Crowd" isn't for him, it will make things uncomfortable between you two, when he realizes that hanging with his real friends is where he belongs.

Much Love,
Drea

POSTED ON 1/25/2007 2:15:29 PM

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The Step-By-Step Guide For Getting That Guy!!

1. start by just saying hi, asking about what sport he likes or whatever. maybe you two can gripe about mrs so and so together, or how insane your school's new rules are getting. basically just short little bits of small talk. after you both become more comfortable doing this, its time to go to step two.

2. start integrating your two groups of friends. its easy, talk to him with a few of your friends, and if possible a few of his friends there too. this is a great time to make long lasting inside jokes!! keep this up, and you two can now exchange numbers. time for step 3.

3. start to hang out with him in a group out side of school. this means that you have an excuse to call him. and who says you can only talk about what everyone's doing this friday?? step 4 comin up!

4. alright, you'v gotten to know eachother pretty well, and you feel totally comfortable around him, and your friends get along with his and vice versa, so its time to let him know. this step consists of one thing alone. SUBTLE flirting. remember catching a guy is no 50 meter dash; its more like a 3K run. you have to pace yourself. you dont start out at full speed right? i mean, if you did, you'd be out way before your even close to the end. so take it slow. start flirting, but dont change yourself inthe process. remember this guy has gotten to know the real you, and a sudden change might scare him!

5. more obvious flirting. kick it up a notch, but not too much. this is when he might start to catch on. observe his reactions, but dont go to in depth. hopefully, he'll start flirting with you, and you can proceed to step 6.

6. ASK HIM!!!!


remember this isnt intended to last a week. its more like a month long process.you've got to be super patient, and super calm. its worth it in the long run, especially if you arent very well acquainted with the guy. Good luck!

report

by TotallyGorgeousandLovely on 2/2/2007 7:35:49 PM

 
 

Hye this is for the moderators. My two friends have boyfriends and I don't. The wierd thing is today one of my friends got in an arguement with her boyfriend. It was something about how he betted her in a poker game(my other friends boyfriend did the same) and she totally over reacted. But then they made up at the end of the day! My friend threatened to dump him and that wasn't cool. She also says how the coach at our school is hot right in front of her boyfriend. Her boyfriend is kinda my friend now and I'm kinda the one he comes 2 once in a while and asks me to talk to my friend for him. Why am I telling you this...because I might like my friends bf. I don't know if i do or not. I mean, he is 4'10' and I am 5'3' plus he is not super cute but he is so nice. What should I do?

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by Shy Girl on 1/30/2007 10:32:54 PM

 
 

I hav a problem. U Know when u really like this guy but he hates u or thinks your stupid. I've tried not likeing him, but it's not working. HELP!!!!!!!!!!

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by Anna on 1/30/2007 6:15:33 PM

 
 

How come moderaters never answer me....?

***

I'm sorry, hun. What can I help you with?

<3 Jessie M.

*** 

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by Sweet_Heart on 1/29/2007 11:11:39 PM

 
 

To Blakliker:
I think wre in the same time zone!! do you live in Wisconsin?

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by Kimberly on 1/29/2007 5:55:34 PM

 
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