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GIRL TALK: Will Popularity Bust Her BGF Bond?

yourmother.jpg

Hey people. I'm in desperate need of advice right now. Ok, here's my problem:I've had a crush on this boy (I'll call him Cam) for about a year and a half. He's really nice and cute and the best thing I liked about him is that he isn't obsessed about being popular or cool like most of the other boys are. Cam is in my circle of friends, and he sits with us at lunch and hangs out with us almost every day. He's one of my best guy friends. But on the bus today (he rides my bus), this popular girl said "You're not even popular, Cam" and he said "You know what? I'm going to sit with you guys at lunch tomorrow. I'm sick of sitting with these...people" and I could tell he was going to say something else but wouldn't since I was right there.

I feel betrayed and hurt. Cam is acting like a hypocrite. Usually he avoids the popular crowd whenever he can because he hates how they act so arrogant all the time, but now he'll probably become one of them. I feel like I'm losing him, and it's even worse because I have a crush on him. I don't even know why he would do this. I know for a fact Cam likes hanging out with me and the rest of the people at our table. Sometimes kids make fun of him for sitting with us because the majority of our crowd is girls, so maybe that's why? I need help. What do I do now? Give him the silent treatment? Talk to him? Fight with him? I don't want him to think I'm controlling his life, but it's just that he's never acted like this before. Should I get over him? If so, HOW? I've fallen pretty hard for this guy. Please help soon!

-YOUR MOTHER'

Hi hun,
I know this is a tough sitch. It always is when you're on the outside looking in...but what you probably realize is that being on the outside is better. Cam maybe does too, but you're going to have to explain your feelings to him. The good news is that he realizes how arrogant that crowd is. Give him examples of how he is acting just the same, but in a nice way. You don't want to hurt him as he hurt you. You should give that as one of the examples by the way. If he is a true friend (and hopefully maybe more) he will take note of the fact that he has hurt someone who he cares about. Some people jump, no matter how high, at the opportunity to be popular. I hope that Cam realizes through your talk with him and examples that he should stay true to himself. If things don't work out, I wouldn't start a fight with him, that will only make it worse. And, if he does decide that being in the "In Crowd" isn't for him, it will make things uncomfortable between you two, when he realizes that hanging with his real friends is where he belongs.

Much Love,
Drea

POSTED ON 1/25/2007 2:15:29 PM

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