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ADVICE | ALL ABOUT YOU | GIRL TALK

39 Comments | Add Yours

GIRL TALK: Help! I'm A Stress Mess

shutterstock_2667480.jpg

Okay, I feel hopeless. My life is a mess. I couldn’t be more confused. I am hopeless at keeping my room clean (which doesn’t help diminish my stress), I’m a horrible procrastinater,(doing it as I type), and I can’t for the life of me figure out my own feelings. I am an unpopular homebody with awful people skills. If I didn’t have the people that are in my life I would… I don’t know what I’d do. So my question is… how do I get my life in order, I guess? ‘Cause I know if I do that that will help with the other things. Stress is probably my main thing. So help please!

-Kelsey'

Hey Kelsey,

Every Monday, my mantra is “Today I am going to get my life together.” Of course I never completely succeed, but it’s the attempt that counts right? Managing your life is a combination of multiple steps, it doesn’t just happen over night. The first thing you need to do is take a deep breath, nothing in this world is unmanageable.

In order to start getting things under control, the first thing you need to do is give yourself a tidy place to work things out in. I just cleaned my desk and put away laundry last night, my room looks almost inhabitable. By getting rid of old papers, left over candy wrappers, and reducing clutter in general, you open your personal space up. Surprisingly, a lack of complete chaos in your room will actually make you feel less overwhelmed and more motivated to tackle larger issues.

As far as procrastination goes… that’s a super hard habit to squash. Break the habit now! The older you get the more things get piled on. When you think about it, whatever you are putting off doing ( homework, walking the dog, doing the dishes) has to get done by the end of the day. You may as well do it the minute you get home and have the rest of the evening to rock out, than bumble around doing anything to avoid what it is that you absolutely have to do. Your best bet is to force yourself to sit down and get whatever it is you need done, done. It will be slow moving at first, but like anything, practice makes a habit and soon you wont think anything of it….not to mention the free time you will have on your hands to spend time with buds or do whatever it is that tickles your fancy.

Once you have removed the clutter from your space, have mastered a reasonable time schedule that allows you to complete your necessary obligations, you can then focus on your social life makeover. Reminder, there is nothing wrong with being a homebody…so you prefer vegging out with a small posse of peeps rather than being a ragin’ rocker chic…So what!?! Different strokes for different folks.

I know what its like to be socially awkward, it’s the story of my life. I have found that as hard as it is to muster up the courage to say hi to someone, it’s a lot harder sitting home by yourself . Start off by making yourself appear open. Smile at people, say hi, you don’t need to have an hour long convo with people right off the bat, but make yourself look inviting. As nervewracking as it may be, you should make a conscious effort to participate in social events that you wouldn’t usually go to. Round up your best buds and go to a school basketball game or meet up with some kids for ice cream afterschool. You have to put yourself out there in order to get results. Once you put yourself in social positions, awkwardness will subside.

Life can get completely out of hand sometimes. It happens to everyone. You need to focus on the little things you CAN fix rather than the big things that are more difficult to handle. If you take a few small steps in organizing your life and put some effort into making yourself an approachable person, you will absolutely see results and feel like a million bucks.

Hang In There!
Jana

POSTED ON 3/22/2007 11:42:49 AM

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39 Comments | Add Yours
SORT: OLDEST FIRST | NEWEST FIRST
 

First of all, this could be because you are way to busy. Do you do an after school activity almost every day? If so, think about cutting down your activities to only the ones you are truly passionate about and would like to continue doing for a while. If your grades are slipping, talk to each of your teachers seperately about how to get them back up again, and how to not procrastinate. Here are some suggestions: no TV until all homework is done, and create a routine when you get home. A 10-15 minute break is ok, but get right down to business after that. Messy room: make cubbies/boxes for everything, and label them. Have a place for everything, and about once a month, go through your whole room, eliminating things that are just junk. Here's a way to determine whether to keep it or not: if you haven't used it for one year, it's probably time to go. Remember, putting things where they belong will mean less work for you later, when your parents tell you to clean up your room. Also, if you're constantly stressed, make time for just lounging around, or inviting friends over, or doing something that is calming and relaxing to you. I hope some of my suggestions work for you!! ;)

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by Kayla on 4/16/2007 6:07:01 PM

 
 

mod please help!
**********************


Im so stressed....

i have been in dance 10 years and softball 4 years..and my mom always says dance is first before softball so i had to miss a few softball practices in the last year..but now this year i get to play infield and im soo excited! but alot of my practices are during dance class and if i miss too many im afraid my coach will make me play outfield again..which i REALLY dont want to do. plus i dont even like dance anymore and this is my last year. PLEASE HELP!

Talk to your mom and let her know that you don't enjoy dance anymore, and that you'd rather play softball, and this year you are playing infield which makes you really happy, but if you miss too many practices, you might not get to play infield anymore. Basically just tell her what you told me.

<3 Jessie M.

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by steph on 3/25/2007 2:51:31 PM

 
 

Kelly,
relax, try not to worry so much. It doesnt do any good.
It will do nothing but upset you and sometimes maybe even others. just remember,
**********************(RELAX and BREATHE)******************

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by Tonya on 3/25/2007 2:34:30 PM

 
 

hey kelsey!
sounds just like me! your not alone.
Just wanted to let you know.
have a great day!

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by Tonya on 3/25/2007 2:30:52 PM

 
 

Im bored. Sombody please talk to me.

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by Tonya on 3/25/2007 2:27:57 PM

 
 

I am always sooooo nervous about everything and some of my frends call me a worry wart!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHAT SHOULD I DO ???????????????????????

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by Kelly on 3/25/2007 1:13:17 PM

 
 

Kelsey- Also, if you have a spring break or something like that coming up, take a vacation. Relax. Foget about everything that's stressing you out. Focus on having fun. You'll feel a whol lot better, trust me. :smile:

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by Maria on 3/24/2007 7:39:21 PM

 
 

stress is a bad thing to have and it can be frustrating. its up to you thiought to eliminate this stress. this is bad comin from the worst procrasinator in the world, but try getting things like home work and projects done as soon as you get them. i hope you werent considering suicide! that would be horrible! as for being an unpopular homebody, just put yourself out there. make it a goal to introduce yourself to 5 new people a day! and dont you ever pretend to be someone you are not! it will come back and bite you in the butt! its normal to feel out of control at this stage in your life but making friends and eliminating stress will help with that.

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by millie on 3/24/2007 6:27:59 PM

 
 

Ashley- Oh sorry! That was supposed to say Maria instead of Annoymous :oops:

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by Maria on 3/24/2007 3:31:01 PM

 
 

Ashley- Plus, it's hard to not care about what other people think of you, but sometimes it best to somehow ignore it. I know it hurts your feelings, but maybe one thing you could do to help with that is to explain to your friend that theres not much you can do about it and if she could lay off a little it would make you feel a lot better. And maybe you could ask her if she could help you stand up for her with everyone else teasing you. Sometimes people tend to "back off" when they're faced with more than one person defending another person.

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by Annonymous on 3/24/2007 3:30:19 PM

 
 

Ashley- How old r u? Maybe you could just calmly try to explain to your mom that while she might think your still too young for a lot of things, your groing up and you'd like some more freedom to make your own decisions. Tell her that it would mean a lot to you if she could help you with this and that she probably wouldn't regret it because you'll take this in a very mature way. Would something like that work?

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by Annonymous on 3/24/2007 3:26:36 PM

 
 

Totally different IP address, GL editors, but it's still chey. i swear. and... the reason for it, the internet is completely BUSTED at my house, so this is the first time i've gotten on in days.



and to anyone who gave me advice about my D in orcestra... it's gonna be a B!!! thanks so much... :mrgreen:

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by chey on 3/24/2007 3:17:57 PM

 
 

And I now have a boyfriend and it worries me so much of what people think of me

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by Ashley on 3/24/2007 3:10:17 PM

 
 

I would but I don't know what to say. She says I am to young for a lot of things.

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by Ashley on 3/24/2007 3:08:12 PM

 
 

Ashley- My sister has kind of the same problem, and sorry I don't know how to help, I don't want to give you bad advice, but maybe you could tweeze it off? :oops:
Or maybe (something more reasonable) you could just sit down and have a long talk with your mom and what you think about it and that it's really bothering you and embarrassing you. Maybe you could make a compromise with her.

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by Maria on 3/24/2007 3:00:45 PM

 
 

Ok...so I get teased of having a 'girls mustache'. And I am really tired of it. Even my best friend said I have one. It hurts my feelings. My mom won't let me get it waxed and I know better not to shave it. What can I do to help myself?

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by Ashley on 3/24/2007 2:53:43 PM

 
 

Make a to do list- that will get everything in order. But be flexible, don't make a schedule defining every 15 minutes! Then, eat something warm or cool that makes you feel good (comfort food). Also, talk to a friend or a help line. That will get your frustration out. For procrastination, i have the problem too. What I do is look at my to do list and get down to it.

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by supergirllala on 3/24/2007 2:29:24 PM

 
 

2luvly2bdefined- Hahah, wow, funny. I go from happy to sad ina second alll the time. Danng it gets annoying, I'm just a really emtional and sensitive person, and that's not a bad thing so it's not a big problem :smile:

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by Maria on 3/24/2007 1:27:45 PM

 
 

And Kelsey, that's weird, I know exactly how you feel. I get stressed out soo easily, and I get stressed out about all the things you get stressed about as well. It's hard for me to figure out my feelings sometimes, my room looks like a tornado came through it, I have bad people skills, and sometimes I even feel hopeless, so don't worry your not alone. But whenever that hopeless feeling comes along, I just try to think about the brighter things in life, the reasons why I'm still here on this Earth and living life. I push all of the bad stuff out of my head for a little while and focus on having fun. Because eventually, everything will be okay and get straightened out, but for now, everyone has worries. And everyone tries to deal with them the best they can, so just keep "chugging along". Think about the story The Littlest Engine That Could, and just keep thinking positively, keep saying "I think I can, I think I can", and you'll be amazed at the results.

♥ Maria

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by Maria on 3/24/2007 11:42:11 AM

 
 

Michelle ♥ - Yes, I find it very annoying. That's why I don't care as much about getting the first comment, but giving advice to the girls the entire blog is dedicated too :smile:

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by Maria on 3/24/2007 11:36:52 AM

 
 

Ahhh! Everything's bolded!

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by limitedEdition on 3/23/2007 4:37:24 PM

 
 

Smooch A guy infront of everyone!

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by cupid on 3/23/2007 4:12:46 PM

 
 

wow, why is everything in BOLD?? i thought it was for only when the moderater responds to a post.
hmmmmmmmm juuuuust wannnnderrrinnnng

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by curlyq on 3/23/2007 2:21:13 PM

 
 

I have advice for all three problems of yours, and i hope they help!
1. room clean. ok, have you ever seen a febreze commercial where a woman talks about using febreze as part of her daily clean up routine? i'm not advertising febreze, i'm saying every night before you go to bed (or whatev time u want) just pick up everything that you messed up in your room. and dust and everything once a week, or once every two weeks (i rarely dust, but if you want ur room clean...)
2. procrastination. make a schedule. grab a calender or whatnot for your house, and use a student planner for school. make a list of priorities, and then a list of fun extra stuff (like going on g blog Smile ) stick to it!
3. "unpopular" I'm sure you're not unpopular, you just think you are. think about your friends. they love you! even if you have one true friend that is simply wonderful. want to make more friends? just be a little outgoing and strike up a conversation. give compliments. discuss common topics (like school, soccer, etc.) and don't be shy!

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by catherine on 3/22/2007 8:32:09 PM

 
 

hey Robin--
i have a problem. im totally a social reck and need to figure out how to get more outgoing and out there. i know how everyone always says, "oh just start with small talk" but it doesn't work for me. i can never think of what to say and most things just sound tacky. do u have any advice?

Just say something like "Hey, how's your day going," and ask lots of other questions. People like to talk, so you won't even have to do much talking yourself. Just be a good listener. Good luck!

xoxo, Robin H.

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by pinky on 3/22/2007 7:56:29 PM

 
 

i agree w/ Jana!

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by shelly on 3/22/2007 7:47:38 PM

 
 

hey moderator or anyone who can help me
i found a guy i like a lot. we've become very close in a short amount of time. i think i have a crush on him and he acts like he likes me- spending lots of time with me, making jokes, teasing me gently. i'm so tempted to run up to him and say how much i like him. of course i know i shouldn't rush things and just keep getting closer to him. but i have spring break for two weeks tomorrow and i want to talk to him over spring break. is giving him my number too forward?
thx

Def not! Go for it!

xoxo, Robin H.

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by jbird on 3/22/2007 7:46:00 PM

 
 

hey whos moderating tonight? i have a HUGE issue and i need help asap and i want to know where to send my problem.

What's up, babe?

xoxo, Robin H.

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by pinky on 3/22/2007 7:26:19 PM

 
 

okay-i am SUCH a procrastinator too. don't sweat it. you just need to take a minute sometime when you aren't doing anything (and you don't have to get anything done) to settle and BREATHE!! try writing everything you need to do down and then just going down the list. if you have a huge project, get done early, or start it early. If you have something with friends you want to do really bad, do it, but just make sure that you have time for the other things too. have your family remind you about things, but not so much that it makes you even more stressed. that is the LAST thing you need. tell me how it goes!!!!!!!!!

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by dancer4LIFE on 3/22/2007 5:50:43 PM

 
 

i have 20th comment :lol:

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by goldy on 3/22/2007 5:04:43 PM

 
 

na na na na na na na ta ta na

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by jaspreet on 3/22/2007 4:59:56 PM

 
 

Jana gave good advice on not being a people person. Saying hi is just the beginning.
For your room- when you take clothes off, hang them up or put them in the dirty clothes basket. Don't put it off, or else you will wind up with an everest of clothes for the weekend- like me! The main rule for organization is too make everything a place and put things in their place when you are done using them. Getting cleaned up is something you wil really appriciate when you are.
Plus- making your bed really makes your room look better!!!!!

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by Ray on 3/22/2007 4:34:00 PM

 
 

I get stressed too. And I am a HUGE procrastinator. :neutral:

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by limitedEdition on 3/22/2007 4:06:32 PM

 
 

Mod,
Wut happened 2 my comment? There r a ton of part missing!

That's so strange! I'm not sure, sorry Frown

xoxo, Robin H.

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by Lollipop on 3/22/2007 3:02:38 PM

 
 

I've been through that too. just hang in there and try to get ur habits/stress undercontrol. I think everyone has gone through something like that....

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by BroadwayBabexoxo on 3/22/2007 2:53:18 PM

 
 

I've been through the same thing. Just make a schedule. That helped and i still made time to rock out!!

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by showstopper on 3/22/2007 2:38:31 PM

 
 

Whoa, I ♥ tx

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by Lollipop on 3/22/2007 2:34:09 PM

 
 

Oh, i feel the same way. I cannot even stand how stressed out i am sometimes! But every day i wake up confident and ready. If u go 2 skool tired and in a bad mood, there is no hope that u will have a good day.

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by Lollipop on 3/22/2007 2:32:43 PM

 
 

Dear kelsey,
like you I'm very stressed and I procrastinate too. When you are stressed go on a long walk so you can clear your mind. Don't procrastinate, if you don't want to do your homework think about that t.v. show coming on in an hour and get your homework done while you wait instead of talking on the phone with your friend.

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by Happy princess on 3/22/2007 2:18:56 PM

 
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