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Q. My friends are always complaining about their bodies. I don’t know what to say anymore. Help!We chatted up Nancy Redd, the author of Body Drama: Real Girls, Real Bodies, Real Issues, Real Answers to get her advice on your prob. A. “It’s SO stressful when your friends are putting themselves (and maybe you!) down. It makes you feel like you have to be negative about yourself, too, which isn’t true. The next time your BFF starts putting her body down, stop her and say, “You’re wrong! You’re beautiful and putting yourself down isn't good for you or for me.” It’s not going to be easy the first time you and your friends stand up for yourselves and your bodies, but it will get easier with time. Remember, achieving a good body image is a process…it’s a marathon and not a race!”
BY JIAE K. ON 5/6/2008 12:01:00 AM 87 COMMENTS
My bff always says bad stuff about her body, and i have to say, "No, thats not true!" so i will try this!!!
Posted by: me girl on 5/6/2008 12:35:11 PM
brr, its cold here! i wanna read. has anyone read the callahan cousins series? it rocks! i can't wait to start babysitting.
Posted by: londongirl12 on 5/6/2008 12:41:01 PM
2 of my best friends are always complaining about how fat they are!!! it bothers me because im a little bit bigger than they are, not a lot but still!! i just get soooo sick of it because i dont even consider myself fat!!! they just bug me, i dont know a nice way to tell them to stop saying such negitive things!!!
Posted by: softball_blondie on 5/6/2008 12:43:01 PM
Hey therrrre! I'm bee oh are ee dee :]
Posted by: Hippie on 5/6/2008 12:47:39 PM
2nd comment?
Posted by: UniquelyMe<3 on 5/6/2008 12:51:16 PM
***MOD!!!*** So my friend's crush asked her out tody but she realized she wasnt ready for a relationship and when she told him that, he was really nice about it and they're just going to be friends now. Im very proud of her and what she did but now shes really worried about the teasing that she thinks is going to come tmw. What should I tell her- ive never been in a situation like that and i dont know what to say except "dont worry about them, you should just ignore it" but that doesnt seem to be helping. Thanks so much! Thanks, Abby ♥
Hey, Girl! Sorry for the “stock” message. We’re psyched you’re here but since this is a super busy time, mods aren’t able to answer personal advice or contest questions. We’re approving your comments now so the girls can start offering feedback right away! If you still have questions, please come back, we’re happy to help…or just let the other chicas answer now! (They give awesome advice, trust us!) Love and thanks! ♥, Your Blog Patrol Babes
Posted by: smileyperson♥ on 5/6/2008 12:58:12 PM
omg! i have this problem too! i don't want to beat myself up because i generally have good self-esteem but my friends might think im snotty if i dont bash myself! thanks!
Posted by: fieldhockeyhoney on 5/6/2008 1:00:59 PM
ditto first comment!(and yes,we get your point)
Posted by: stargirl* on 5/6/2008 1:12:43 PM
one of the first comments DDDD yeaya kooleo xoxoxo cLo
Posted by: !clo_cho! on 5/6/2008 1:14:29 PM
yeah i've had this happen to and them make me feel bad cause i don't know how to help them with this problem and others
Posted by: Kelseygirl12 on 5/6/2008 1:19:32 PM
YEAH PEOPLE SHOULD JUST B THEMSELVES AND NOT WORRY ABOUT THERE APPEARANCE SO MUCH TO BE HONEST I USED TO SPEND 2 HOURS GETTING DRESSED AND GETTING READY FOR SCHOOL NOW I TAKE A HALF HOUR SEE BIG DIFFERENCE!!!!! BE YOURSELF!
Posted by: sooboolotnes205 on 5/6/2008 1:30:13 PM
Posted by: annamariedex on 5/6/2008 1:38:20 PM
Don't sweat it!!
Posted by: Sweet as Soda Pop on 5/6/2008 1:43:25 PM
i dont like when they do that it makes me feel like i have to complain to, but when i do they say somthing like o then i am this if your this i usually just ignore them or do what the advice said
Posted by: basketballgirl1 on 5/6/2008 1:43:43 PM
coooooooooooool 2nd comment isn't comment pregnunta or something in spanish? or espanol
Posted by: Godis♥Gal♥ on 5/6/2008 1:46:17 PM
hey!my friend who i haven't been real close to for the past 1 or 2 years (but still saying hi and bear hugs at school <3) called me the other day and we talked and she read me her diary. Had the regular stuff u know like crushes (thought ew but didn't say) and then she told me about her sis. I had seen her with a group of goth friends and one time about a year ago me and my friend saw them making like x's on their hands and wearing completely all black. it freaked me out cause she used to be a good sweet girl and then turned into 1 of those goth people. then my friend told me "i don't like when i see my sis and her friends smoke. it makes me so sad. i think it is b/c she wants to get back at mother and father, but maybe she just wants to fit in" i totally didn't know what to say when she told me that. i just said "oh _____, that's not good. i'm sorry." what should i do? help pleeze : (
Posted by: bballgrlie09 on 5/6/2008 4:21:35 PM
l
Posted by: bballgrlie09 on 5/6/2008 4:22:46 PM
smileyperson♥ - If that happens, stick with her and defend her against those people who might tease her. Try not to make trouble for her, though. Just say something like, "Dude, you don't understand. Shut it." And then walk away. Or something like that.
Posted by: hizz8945 on 5/6/2008 4:30:01 PM
my friend's sis is smoking what should i say to my friend?
Posted by: bballgrlie09 on 5/6/2008 4:35:58 PM
feildhockey- you shouldn't have to say negative things about yourself for your friends to like you. It's a GOOD thing you're comfotable with who you are. Tell them that. They're probably jealous because they ARE insecure with themselves. ~Hope I could help!
Posted by: StarryEyedGirl on 5/6/2008 4:41:13 PM
MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD ok, so my ex and i broke up about a month ago, and i STILL cant get over him, hes really confusing too. [his friends even said that] well i REALLY like him and i think i still like him cause ive liked him for like three years. my sister is going out with his bff collin, and collins my bff too, and this nick guy is collins other bff, and weve been talking a LOT lately, but ive never met him in person, but we both agreed that we like each other but were dont know if we want to go out cause he just broke up with his gf yesterday and i still have feelings for my ex, and i dont know what to do! i know im still going to like my ex and everything cause he goes to my school but this nick guy doesnt, and i found my self totally falling for my ex again. HELP! im so confused in what to do, i like them both a LOT.
Posted by: jjjfffeerrggg16 on 5/6/2008 4:41:50 PM
i have friends that say the same thing and they start worring about if there to fat or to skinny and one way i always tell them is that just because you see all those other girls and that they are soo skinny let yourself be you dont have to be a skinny nor fat person and let urself go dont worry about what others think.
Posted by: talagirl101 on 5/6/2008 4:42:07 PM
MOD!!!! Plz help me... I need advice, and it seems like you guys are really good at it, so here it goes: I've been really sad lately and my friends didn't really pay attention to me and that made me feel even worse, and then they finally decided to care, but now it's happeneing all over again. My group of friends is breaking apart and my 2 best friends are only talking to eachother...and totally forgetting about me. I've tried getting their attention by showing I was angry with them, but nothing's changed. Should I ditch them for a new group of friends?
Posted by: mxcgirl24 on 5/6/2008 5:11:24 PM
i hate when that happens my friend is 13 and weighs 90 pounds and just became anerexic because she thinks she is soooo fattt and i show her the differnce in our thighs(i'm like 105 pounds) plus she's under weight for our average weight butt i hate when ppl r all like ya i'm sooo fatt like i joke around wit my baby fat but i kno that i am who i am and i don't wanna b anerexic idn it's all soo confussinngg!!!! =/
Posted by: xolmg1243xo on 5/6/2008 7:03:41 PM
hi is any1 on?!?
Posted by: #1 iowa hawkeye fan on 5/6/2008 7:10:22 PM
moderator- how come ever since the makeover comments never get posted??
Hey there
I'ms orry, I dont think i really understand your question*Sarah
Posted by: JUiCYxCOUTURExiSxLiFE on 5/6/2008 7:18:29 PM
moderator- yeah sorry that comment was totally confusing u can ignore it. but i have another problem thats kinda long do u have time to help me out?
Yeah go ahead *Sarah
Posted by: JUiCYxCOUTURExiSxLiFE on 5/6/2008 7:33:43 PM
Sarah- ok so my mom used to teach a religious class at our house to 6th graders because my sis is a 6th grader. im in 8th and there was this one guy in the class who i never really got to know until the 6th grade class and my class (which my mom also teaches) did a service project together. he totally flirted with me and basically told me he liked me a ton of times and everyone was saying he liked me. that was a few weeks ago and i havent seen him since. he kept trying to get my number from my bff who is his neighbor but she didnt give it to him because she doesnt know i like him because im kind of embarrased about it. he is in one of my sisters classes and keeps talking about me she says but i dont know if ill really ever see him again even though he goes to my school and he is moving at the end of the year!!! im really depressed about it ive seriously been depressed ever since the service project since i know i might never hang out with him again and hes moving right when school ends. i always feel like im gonna cry and i cant get my mind off of him. ive done everything to stop thinking about him ive hung out with friends, played sports, everything but nothing helps!!: (( tear tear!!! aaah what should i do i keep trying to hint to my sis that i like him so she can drop him a hint but idk how to not be embarrased about it. how do i make it obvious to her without having to say it and how can i see him again but not get so obsessed with him that ill be super depressed when he moves??? ask any questions if ur confused. xoxo
Maybe you could mention to your sister that you want to hang out with her and her friend a couple of times. You shouldn't think about it or be worried about it too much. you and your sis should be able to talk about these things. maybe you should plan a little girls night to bond and have girl talk *Sarah
Posted by: JUiCYxCOUTURExiSxLiFE on 5/6/2008 7:39:55 PM
Sarah- yeah good idea. also, i messed up. my friend who is his neighbor does know i like him, its my bff that doesnt. she sees him a lot since she lives across the street from him and i think she might be able to help me see him but ahhhh idk what to do because she thinks its really weird that i like him cause she thinks hes a loser.
it doesn't matter that she thinks hes a loser. i mean you guys are friends right? she shouldn't judge you on who you like. Just wait and see what happens good luck *Sarah
Posted by: JUiCYxCOUTURExiSxLiFE on 5/6/2008 7:53:14 PM
sarah- k thanks so much for ur help!!!! xoxo
No problem! *Sarah
Posted by: JUiCYxCOUTURExiSxLiFE on 5/6/2008 7:59:52 PM
sarah- sorry one more quick question. if i tweeze my upper lip hairs which are a lot darker than the hair on my head, will they grow in thicker and darker?
Yes, tweezing may cause the hairs to grow in a little coarser and darker. you could try waxing .. or dying your facial hair. You should ask your mom first before you do it and have a professional do it. *Sarah
Posted by: JUiCYxCOUTURExiSxLiFE on 5/6/2008 8:21:01 PM
awww this is soo cute: my bffs (1 of them) crush is bffs w/ my crush (funny how that works out?) and my crush, my bff, and i r good friends. so when i told my crush i like him he told his bff before i told him not 2 tell any1. u with me so far? so its widely known that my bff and her crush like eachother, and my crush and i (who is also my bgf) always tease them about it. so 4 our class play i have 2 put my arm around my bffs crush (sorry anna!!) so it was kinda uncomfortable. so when we sat down he asked me "would u be happy if (my crushes name) swiched with me?" i told him shut up and asked him if he would be happy if my bff swiched with me. "ya, probably" he said. awwwwww!!!
Posted by: Half Blood Princess on 5/6/2008 8:23:44 PM
in our school the kids do ballroom and had out balls (we hav this whole cool system). so i told my bff that when im in ballroom i take advantage of the time at stare at certain ppl (*nudge nudge, wink wink*). we found our "ppl" *cough cough hint hint* and comenced staring. so my other bff who wasnt in ballroom came up 2 us and we explained about gawk (the name of the game). so she raaaaaan over 2 my crush and told hom i was staring at him. appenently he shrugged and smiled. he admitted 2 liking me a couple weeks ago. yay!
Posted by: Half Blood Princess on 5/6/2008 8:35:00 PM
sarah******** i luv ur avatar!!
Thanks *Sarah
Posted by: Half Blood Princess on 5/6/2008 8:35:41 PM
my friend is always saying she is fat and i say "NO YOUR NOT!!" idk what to say anymore. ahhhh help me plz. anyone have any ideas?? ~MeLiSsA~
Posted by: sweetcutie22 on 5/6/2008 8:53:49 PM
Hey! Heres a quiz! And please take it! 1) Whats your favorite brand of gum? - Orbit! 2) how old are you? - 13 3) fav color? - Orange, Brown, dark purple, barn red 4) How olng does it take for you to do homework a night? - I'm home schooled, so i don't have a lot of homework, but usually 30 minuets. 5) Where do you live? - New York (Not the big apple!) 6) whats your favorite color to paint your nails?- Fire truck red, hot pink, bright lime green. 7) DO you ever talk to your parents? do you like them? - Yes, i talk to them a lot. And yeppperrr i love em! 8) What color is your computer key bored? - black and white (Different set.) 9) do you go on utube? - yep! 10) Do you do a sport? - i do dance!!! I LOVE IT!! 11) do you have a pet? - I have a bunny, his name is rodolfo! he's fat! 12) whats your favorite word? - Zesty, batma
Posted by: me girl on 5/7/2008 5:13:09 AM
MOD, o.k., well, here it goes! My bff likes my crush who likes me! And my bff is getting jelous, i try to talk to her and say its not my fault and that i don't control him. She still gets mad and now she's not talking to me! I know bff's have fights, but we have never had one like this! Please help and please answer back!
Posted by: me girl on 5/7/2008 5:15:14 AM
Posted by: sooboolotnes205 on 5/6/2008 1:54:58 PM
*awkward pause* everyone says their friends do it, well i do it. But i'm not fishing for compliments or trying to make my friends put themselves down, I really do think that. I'll try to stop.
Posted by: grinningskullz on 5/6/2008 1:58:01 PM
well my bff in the whole world always complains that shes fat, but shes really not!! shes like on the skinnier side of average. well she convinced her mom to go on the special k diet with her, which involves eating basically nothing and loosing an inch off ur waist in 2 weeks. we're 14 and she was furious at me for 2 days when i said that i think this diet is unhealthy, and that she doesnt need one. just look up "the special k challenge" to see what she eats...its pretty much a bowl of cereal for breakfast, a protein bar for lunch, and w/e for supper, but usually like something small... i dont want my bff to get sick, and im worried that if this gets mroe serious then i wont be able to help because she already refuses tp listen!
Posted by: sabrina on 5/6/2008 2:00:19 PM
*****MOD******* idk if i posted this a min. ago well my bff in the whole world always complains that shes fat, but shes really not!! shes like on the skinnier side of average. well she convinced her mom to go on the special k diet with her, which involves eating basically nothing and loosing an inch off ur waist in 2 weeks. we're 14 and she was furious at me for 2 days when i said that i think this diet is unhealthy, and that she doesnt need one. just look up "the special k challenge" to see what she eats...its pretty much a bowl of cereal for breakfast, a protein bar for lunch, and w/e for supper, but usually like something small... i dont want my bff to get sick, and im worried that if this gets mroe serious then i wont be able to help because she already refuses tp listen!
Hey! talk to your mom about what special k diet is. what do your parents think about dieting? Tell her that you think she doesnt need to loose weight, and the best way to do that is to eat healthy and exercise. maybe if you adopt a healthy diet you will be able to convince her that it is easy and effective! you are her best friend...she'll listen to you! xoxoashley
Posted by: sabrina on 5/6/2008 2:00:56 PM
MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD hey, my friend is emailing this girl in the class that has been mean to everyone (including her) at first it was mean, now it's just getting brutal. she is my best friend, how should i tell her to stop? thanks! i am sure the mean girl will appreciate it! xoxoxoxoxo! ~dudet!
hey! who are you trying to tell to stop? the girl, or your best friend? If the girl is the problem, then talk to an adult at school about how she acts. it puts her in a really tough situation when a ton of kids all come at her at once and tell her they dont like her/think she is mean. try talking to her one on one with your bff so that its not as awkward! xoxoashley
Posted by: fun chick on 5/6/2008 2:07:42 PM
who plays an instrument
Posted by: tvgirl2 on 5/6/2008 2:29:40 PM
MOD i feel like my life is crumbling. in the past month... -me and my bf broke up -my science average is a C and ive never had a C in a class before -my grandma is dying -ive been thinking ALOT about my cousin that died im usually a happy person but lately ive been working to get nowhere basically...well thats what it seems like. my science teacher is a horrible teacher (its gotton so bad that me,my mom, our schools principle all had a conference with my science teacher for an hour and a half and i was basically talking bad to her face) its just gotton so bad i really dont know what to do anymore! ive talked to my bff and she says that i have done all that i can do but i really cant handle it anymore. we have 2 and a half weeks left and idk if i can handle it for that long!!! this teacher has had a horrible impact on me. the things that she has said and done have gotton me so mad and has interfered with how i think, feel, and react to my friends and family. last week...my mom said that we wernt able to fly to florida because of how high the airfare was and i broke down in tears because the teacher has just gotton me so mad about everything. i really just dont know what to do anymore. and btw..the teacher cant be fired because she has been teaching at my school for more than 10 years. and i just feel like my life has been messed up because of her.
Posted by: :] on 5/6/2008 2:45:06 PM
soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo(u get my point)truee!!!!
Posted by: twisterchic on 5/6/2008 12:08:01 PM
I have the same prob wid my friends! It is sooooo ANNYOING! I tell them they are wrong, but they don't listen. I still dont give up! This has been going on for two years. *sigh* Still lv em 2 pieces! =D
Posted by: GinnyW365 on 5/6/2008 12:26:52 PM
just wondering ( this tottaly random) how much does the sims computer game cost, thanx
Posted by: gymnastgurl67 on 5/7/2008 2:23:51 PM
kourtney u r sssssssssssooooooooooooooooooooo ugly lol luv u kato 1997
Posted by: kato1997 on 5/7/2008 4:57:13 PM
MOD+++++++++++++++++++++++ OMG I am like the only person in my entire grade with hairy ampits and legs and also fat legs. I'm scared to wear no sleeves and even capriis? I'm not comfortable with telling my mom, so how can i get rid of this without her noticing? and how do i make my legs skinnier?
Hey! you should shave your armpits...your mom started doing it too at one point, so dont be worried about what she says. working out will tone and define your legs! xoxoashley
Posted by: sophiel4ever on 5/8/2008 4:11:39 PM
my friends say the same thing as you guys... they would be like, i'm FAT dianna stop dennying it. the other day i actually exploded at one of my friends... her: ugh i hate my body. me: if you hate it so much why are you wearing a bikini? her: well its the only bathing suit i got. your so skinny ugh... me: OMIGOSH SHUT UP WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM IM NOT SKINNY EITHER I JUST KNOW HOW TO SUCK IT IN YOU ARE NOT FAT!!! STOP SAYING THAT
Posted by: xomusicxxluverxo on 5/11/2008 2:20:08 PM
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