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ADVICE | TOUGH STUFF

How to help a friend who may have an eating disorder

 

It can be scary when a friend develops an eating disorder. Here’s what you can do:

1. Learn as much as you can about eating disorders before confronting her.

2. Tell her you are concerned about her and suspect she might have an eating disorder. Offer specific observations like, "I heard you throwing up in a bathroom stall twice last week."

3. Suggest she be evaluated by an expert. It's doubtful she'll be receptive but important that you tell her.

4. Hand her a list of resources:
The Renfrew Center, www.renfrew.org
National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders, www.anad.org
National Eating Disorders Association, www.edap.org
Academy for Eating Disorders, www.aedweb.org

5. If she gets angry and refuses to talk about it, don't push her.
 

6. Tell a professional (nurse, guidance counselor, coach, teacher) that you suspect your friend has an eating disorder.

7. Realize you've done what you can. You can't force help on someone who doesn't want it.

8. Also realize telling your friend you're worried, and that you love and support her, definitely matters!
 
 

BY GL ON 2/28/2012 12:00:00 AM

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MOD MOD MOD
I need advice ASAP. A close family friend just passed away of cancer last night. I didn't know her as well as the rest of my fam but I'm still beyond sad. Nobody I've known has ever died before (I know I'm super lucky about that)ot but this is all so new and so so sad to me. And now I'm worried someone in my family is going to die of cancer.
Plus, I know this shouldn't matter and I'm not trying to be selfish but I have to miss my last day of this camp I've been working at to go to the funeral tomorrow. I've made such amazing friends there and it means the world to me, a lot of those people I will never see again and didn't get to say goodbye to. Please. I need advice on how to cope and get through this. Thank you.







Hey girl, I'm very sorry about your loss.  It's always strange when someone passes away and people deal with grief differently.  It will take time, but eventually you will feel better.  You can also help support your family in this tough time, I'm sure they can use your help.  Anxieties about things like disease are normal, but you should try to live your life to the fullest and appreciate what you have now.  Its completely normal for you to be sad about missing camp, too.  Try to understand that going to the funeral is important and I'm sure your friends from camp will understand as well.  Best of luck, xxoo 
Maggie P.

by maggie183 on 7/26/2012 1:52:15 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
I have a friend who has *very* low self-esteem, even though my other friends and I compliment her all of the time, on things other than just her looks. However, she *still* sees the need to try and lose weight, even though she is the average weight for our age! I feel really uncomfortable whenever she comes over or we go out together, because whenever I order food and ask her if she'd like some, she replies with "No, I'm trying to lose weight" even if she actually likes the food that I get. I feel bad for her but at the same time I want to be able to eat stuff around her and not have to deal with this!




Hey girl, that is tough. Have you tried talking to her about it and telling her that she doesn't need to stress so much over her weight? Maybe you could suggest to her that she can still lose weight and eat what she wants if she's exercising regularly. Encourage her to eat more food, but to keep it healthy. And don't feel bad about eating in front of her - maybe if you set a good, healthy example, she'll follow it eventually. 
Carrie R.

by cmfox99 on 7/16/2012 1:11:01 PM

 
 

Boys can have eating disorders too. What if you're friend had an eating disorder and it WAS a boy? Should you do the same thing or take a different approach?

by Happy_Bunnie on 7/9/2012 11:04:32 PM

 
 



MODMODMOD I don't think I have a eating disorder but I am not sure. I haven't really told my friends about it. I just am not as hungry as I used to be or I eat smaller portions. I have lost a few pounds in only a week. I am worried I might be developing an eating disorder. What should I do?




Hey girlie,

What is the reason behind WHY you aren't hungry anymore? Are you actively choosing not to eat more? Are you depriving yourself of food for some reason - punishment, to lose extreme amounts of weight, etc.? Or has your appetite just changed? If it's just your appetite and you're not having negative feelings about your body, it's not an eating disorder - that sounds like a metabolism issue, which you should chat with your parents about. Let them know what's going on and ask them to help you keep an eye on it - then make an appointment at your doctor if it doesn't improve over time and you keep losing weight. If you are having body image issues along with the trouble eating though, THAT could be an eating disorder. You need to talk to a trusted adult asap here as well - preferably your parents. Explain exactly what's going through your head, and admit that you need help getting back to normal. Either way, speak up! <3333
Lauren C.

by peaceluvsmile on 4/26/2012 11:52:22 PM

 
 

I think I may be developing an eating disorder. At first I wanted to stay at a healthy weight and drop a couple of pounds, but now I'm getting obsessed with what I eat and how much I exercise. One of my friends are worried about me but I don't think anything is really going on yet. But, I want to stop if before something does happen. Help!

by minniemousegal14 on 4/11/2012 5:25:54 PM

 
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