The pool is closed, school’s about to start and (gulp) it’s time to let go of that summer crush.
So you meet this awesome guy and you two totally hit it off. But suddenly, after a few months of lazy afternoons spent catching rays, taking mid-day dips and grabbing soft cones, summer’s over. Argh!! So, soon? How can you possibly focus on books and teachers (ugh!) when your heart is in the back pocket of your tall, tan and perfect crush? Glad you asked. We’ve got the hook-up on how to handle a summer hottie hang-over.
Why summer crushes are hotter than asphalt in July
It shouldn’t come as a shock that our hearts melt faster than ice cream on a sunny day for summer crushes. A hot guy plus a few carefree weeks of hanging out and having fun equals one massive crush.
No matter how short-lived they may be, summer romances are intense. Since there’s no school, homework or soccer practice to worry about, your focus can be on him. Even if it’s only been two weeks—or even two days—you may feel like you’ve known him forever. If you find yourself having strong feelings for this your summer crush, know that it’s perfectly normal.
But now that fall has come and it’s time to wave him—and his gorgeous 300 watt smile—goodbye, you have three choices: cherish the memories of summer’s preview as you troll for Fall’s main attraction, crank up the momentum in the hopes that your crush will spill into next summer or check your chances of making him a full-time BF.
Could your summer hottie be your perfect guy?
It’s tempting to try and turn a summer encounter into a true romance. After all, he seems like the picture perfect guy—witty, smart and did we mention he’s a hottie? You’d be crazy not to snag this cutie for your full-time love muffin, right? Wrong.
First of all, since your time together is so brief, you only see the good guy qualities of your summer hunk. He may be all that, but you can’t really know after only a few days or weeks of summer bliss.
Second, possibly because of circumstances like distance, chances are this guy is more likely to be a fond memory than your future Prom date. They don’t call ‘em summer loves for nothing. Hold the memories near but see your time together for what it was, a brief encounter, and file Mr. Perfect away under ‘hot guys I knew and loved.’
It’s painful to just let go, but think of it like this: Your life is like a book and chapters on your adventures with friends, BF’s and the usual ups and downs fill its pages. Chalk summer guy up as an interesting chapter with a mysterious ending—no one will ever know what could have been.
If you don’t have a scrap book or diary, start one now and capture exactly how he made you feel, things you’ve learned about him, and memories you made over that short period of time, complete with photos. In other words, smile dreamily at the picture of you two on the dock, then kiss that one goodbye and let it remain the happy memory that it is.
Crush into next summer
When it’s geographically impossible to hook up September through May, but you know that you’ll both end up in the same place June through August, there’s no reason you can’t put the crush on ice until you’re back at camp or the beach next summer. Until then, the key is to keep it light, fun and casual—and get a true friendship going.
You know he’s a cutie, but now you can find out what he’s really all about. Get a little closer by being the buddy he enjoys IM’ing, emailing or chatting on his cell. By keeping things light and fun during the year, you’ll be in a prime position to pounce once summer rolls back around. Keeping in touch not only increases your chances of making him your official summer love, but it also helps you figure out whether it was really him or just the summer sun that had you swooning.
Turn him into that 365 Guy
Warning, turning a summer love into the 365 days, all-year-round BF is a long shot! But there’s no harm in taking inventory to see if it’s possible to move things to that next level.
He’s been guy hiding before your very eyes all along. Is it just a coincidence that you two never bumped into each other until this summer? Like you’re both members of the same church, youth group or maybe even go to the same school. Sometimes there are great guys just hovering past our radar screens and it takes a fun turn of summer fate (your parents both sail together!) to bring him to your attention.
He’s accessible. Did you meet some place that you’re both likely to frequent, like your parent’s vacation home or the coed soccer travel team? Do you guys have some mutual friends in common that you both may actually find yourself around, throughout the year? Summer is a great time to meet guys from other schools or nearby towns. If it seems like you two could find yourself in the same social circles once the leaves turn, there could be hope.
He’s hinting that he’d like to take it beyond summer. If he’s talking “we,” and “us,” or mentioning how great it would be to check out the Winter Festival of Lights together, sounds like he may be BF material. If you guys have spent the summer finding out that you have tons in common (like beyond a shared passion for beach fries and all ages shows), there is a chance your crush could go beyond summer. This all may be cool but one last caution: The truth is summer love is a special, short-lived, magical experience. Consider appreciating it for what it is before you try to take it down the road to a relationship.
In the end, there’s nothing like a good crush to get your heart racing, but real life beats fantasy any day. Face it, some loves are meant to be temporary. While you’re pining away over summer guy, you might be missing out on that cutie from Biology class that has his eye on you. So, jump back into life with a new sense of adventure, a healthy new outlook on memories that will keep you warm in the chilly days to come.
BY PAULA CHASE-HYMAN ON 8/18/2008 7:00:00 AM