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IF YOU HAVE A FRIEND WHO'S LOST A LOVED ONE ... BE A GOOD LISTENER. Let her tell stories about her loved one, even if it's repetitive. You don't have to say anything to her--she just needs you to listen and understand. LET YOUR FRIEND CRY, GET ANGRY, BE MOODY. Expressing her emotions is all part of the healing process. AVOID CLICHES. Phrases like, "You'll feel better in time," or "At least he's not suffering anymore," diminish the importance of tier loss. KNOW THAT THERE'S NO RIGHT WAY TO GRIEVE. Even if your friend's behavior is down-right bizarre, don't criticize. Just be patient. LEND A HELPING HAND. Offer to help with homework or household chores. She'll appreciate anything you can do to lighten her load. BE COMPASSIONATE. Remember that loss is a major life-changing experience, and you may have to give more time and energy to your friend than you ever have before. That can be trying but, by sharing this experience with her, you'll become closer than ever.
BY JIAE K. ON 3/4/2010 8:00:00 AM 79 COMMENTS
Hey Girls. Have an animal that died or suffered through neglect or abuse in its past life. Then join Club Save the Animals now. If you want to join then go on my profile and leave me a comment saying STOP ABUSE! If you have a story include that in your comment. I really need animal cruelty to end!!! It breaks my heart! Once you tell me that you want to join the club, I will give you more info on how you can help, etc. on your profile. Thank You sooo much!
mileycrazy99 on 3/18/2010 3:03:55 PM
Hey girls.
mileycrazy99 on 3/18/2010 2:59:22 PM
oh i fell sorry my family lost alot srry to all of yas k?
Mariah G on 3/15/2010 9:06:14 PM
a girl in my grade lost her mom. she isn't very nice, but her mom was well-loved. our whole town showed for the funeral. but it seemed like it was all a popularity thing...the girl was most-popular in 5th grade...during the wake and funeral, kids showed up with friend to be popular, not to be nice and sorry for the family. a lot of kids also pretended like they were friends with her. one of my close friends always tried 2 be popular so she *thought* she was friends with this girl and "that's why she went to the funeral" instead of school...ya rite. i just don't get it....
millina*girl on 3/12/2010 3:50:51 PM
Hey girls, I too have lost a loved one. My precious innocent baby sister died after only 33 minutes. It's hard to deal with because not many people really understand. She would be 3 and a half years last week. I miss her so much. Comment on my profile if you want someone to talk to. Lots of love, Rachel
balloonluvr on 3/9/2010 5:34:07 PM
My best friend just got out of a depression because her boyfrined died out of cancer. Then, to make matters worse, she found out she was pregnant. The baby really helped, to be honest, seing his little face. I'm just saying, if you guys think u can't survive. YOU ARE WRONG. if you think no one understands you, YOU ARE WRONG. just go out, and laugh till it hurts. Stay strong. Even though teen pregnancy is very very very bad. Emily says its the best thing that ever happened to her since Nick died. and i truly believe that.
lolforever on 2/10/2010 3:08:44 PM
dina22464 on 12/31/2009 7:44:24 PM
soccerlindsay on 12/30/2009 10:00:17 PM
katie_lynn27 on 12/24/2009 12:38:33 AM
razzberriezgrl on 12/15/2009 4:36:29 PM
Twilighter134 on 11/25/2009 11:01:37 AM
electriclivvy on 11/23/2009 10:21:04 PM
one of my friends lost a brother to cancer, another lost a realy close cousin in a car accident ):
leslie5544 on 11/15/2009 1:09:31 PM
I lost my grandfather a little while ago, i miss him a lot and i still feel like crying everytime i think about him. what should i do? i cant cry 'out of the blue' anywhere, i always get tears in my eyes and people ask me whats up, i just say i yawned..
lip-smacker on 11/8/2009 7:24:48 AM
souper101 on 11/5/2009 6:47:11 PM
There's a girl in my class who lost her uncle this weekend and her auntie is in the hospital with seriouse injuries. I'm not really close to her, but i feel sorry for her that she has to go through this. I have never lost a close one, except for my great grandpa and grandma but i only saw them like twice i my life that i remember. Anyway thanks for posting this. It will help alot!! Oh and they got in a HUGE car accident if you were wondering.
kelsabrams on 11/2/2009 9:41:31 PM
my bffs dad got cancer b4 she was born. then after he recovered from it they had my friends older bro then her and her lil bro. 4 years ago he got cancer again and died. 3 days b4 it happened i was at her houz and he was fine. the next day he was in the hospital and the next he was dead. it was the saddest thing ever for me and especially her because we were both rly close with her dad.
mrs.pattinson on 11/2/2009 11:25:30 AM
This is really cool that you guys cover these types of stuff. My BGF lost his dad in a motercycle accident just over a month ago, and he's been slowly but stedily getting his life back on track. He has to help a lot around the house because he has 3 younger sibs between the ages of 8 and 2. Really, if you're just there for them, it helps a lot, and sometimes your friends who have lost someone dear to them will tell you that. My BGF said that it helps a lot that I'm just a phone call away. I also try to call him often just to see how he's doing. I hope this helps for all the girls going thru something like this!
Twilighter134 on 10/27/2009 6:53:00 PM
My friend's dad died of cancer 2 years ago. He mainly pushed everyone away. I gave him alone time to heal but everytime I saw him he would look sad. So I tried and started hanging out with him. He seemed guarded at first, but after a few months he seemed great!! I know he is still hurt by his dad dying but now he will come and talk to me about it.
justalilcrazy on 10/25/2009 11:12:19 PM
When my BFF's Grandpa died she was SOOOOO crushed! When my Godfather died none of my friends understood how hard it was for me so they didnt wanna be near me! So please girlies help out your friends if they are dealing with a loss because you want them to be there for you.
peacelovecandy on 10/25/2009 11:45:24 AM
spazzychick101! on 10/17/2009 9:03:58 PM
Very helpful!
lasagna on 10/17/2009 1:04:07 PM
Detty on 10/17/2009 12:06:10 PM
losing people is the hardest thing in the world. having friends loose people is the second hardest thing. like i said before my really close friends mom died a couple months ago. my friend and her family are the nicest people in the world. im crying right now thinking about the veiwing, the hardest thing to do in the whole world.
swimmerxox on 8/26/2009 9:31:54 AM
mod you never tell someone who lost a loved one hope you feel better soon. do you know how insensitive that sounds to think of it as somehting you just get over and can feel better soon with. Thats almost like an insult to the person that you can just get over it!
fired up on 7/26/2009 10:25:58 AM
fired up on 7/22/2009 8:48:14 AM
This helpd so much. my friends mom died a couple weeks ago. this helpd me know i did the "right" thing if there is a right thing to do
swimmerxox on 6/30/2009 8:16:54 AM
shes sadder about it cuz i didnnt kno my dads mum vry wel and they new each othr mor and her granddad has a grlfriend now
ladygryffindor on 6/19/2009 4:39:08 PM
me and my budd both of our dad lost their mums
ladygryffindor on 6/19/2009 4:37:55 PM
cecedotcom on 6/14/2009 11:32:06 PM
i know how that feels. my best friend lost her mom late last year. she has her good days and her bad ones. ill never forget when i got the call. i cried for hours. the best we can do is be there and care for her! <3<3<3<3, queenchloe14
queenchloe14 on 6/13/2009 3:49:13 PM
Angel07 on 6/13/2009 9:28:13 AM
thanx Annemarie! ill keep that in mind!
miss_giggles on 6/8/2009 8:33:42 PM
miss_giggles on 6/7/2009 9:48:58 PM
Go to ClubMOD today! Get TONS of advice, Make TONS of friends we even have our very own site! How cool is that?VERY COOL! Go to ClubMOD today!
skyhorsestar on 5/29/2009 12:06:14 PM
I can only imagine how tough things are for you. Because we wish you only the best, it’s extremely important that you speak to a trusted adult, such as a family member, doctor, guidance counselor, teacher, etc. ♥, Your Blog Patrol Babes Sherryn D.
Sammi33 on 5/26/2009 10:34:37 PM
bluebirdprincess, i am sorry about your great grandpa. one way to tell your bffs is say something like latly i have been feeling relly sad or say i think i need to talk. i hope this helps.
softball48 on 5/25/2009 4:54:06 PM
ok, so i have 3bffs and we are all so close we tell eachother everything and we share everything, we are like sisters. but recently my great grandpa got skin cancer so bad that he can't have chemo therapy so my family is just spending time with him..and watching him die... and i really need my friends or someone to comfort me because he and i are really really close and he's dying. but with finals for school and all of the stress of end-of-the-year homework, none of them have time to be there for me and i am keeping all of this hurt in and i want to try to give them a hint to show them that i need them, but i don't know how. please help.
bluebirdprincess on 5/25/2009 1:40:31 PM
softball48 on 5/25/2009 11:08:28 AM
it did. THX!!!
twilightluvr316 on 5/25/2009 9:13:38 AM
twilightluvr316, you can't help what has happened. Nobody can bring back th dead. What you can do is be their for the people. Everybody will have their days when the ones they have lost is all they can think about and all you can do is be their for them. If you lose someone it will be hard, but know they are in a better place. You could try talking to a counsler or someone in your family. As for dealing with it try writting it in a jurnol, talking to an adult, or(i know this sounds dumb) talking to your room/dog/stufffed animal. I hope this helps.
softball48 on 5/25/2009 12:25:32 AM
lots of my family & friends have lost someone close to them. my mom's closest friend (and the nicest accordding to my dad) died of small cell cancer a few weeks ago. she came to pick me up after school when i was done with girls on the run and she was in tears. i hated seeing my mom cry. she told me wat happened and that she got an e-mail from a friend saying she had died. it made it so hard that my mom hadn't seen her fo years cuz we had moved away and then back and she was alwasy busy with coaching (volleyball) and she didn't know she was sick. it was hard for me too cuz she was my friends' mom. My dad's friend died right in front of him. he was crushed by a machine at work (the ford plant).i didn't see my dad cry much. in fact, i don't even remember seeing him cry before that! he kept blaming himself and saying he couldv'e saved but all he did was call for help. his friend was still breathing while he called for help. he cryed for days. i stood by his bedside with my mom listening to him blame himself.it was sooooo hard on him. my brother lost a friend too. a kid on his baseball team was shot accidentally by another friend. they were playing with his father's gun and it was loaded. it shot and killed him. when my brother found out that HIS friend, not just some kid with the same name, died, he was so depressed. he didnt cry but he didnt say much and he talked in such a deppresed voice. my best friend didnt know someone who died but recently her friend left her without reason. she just came up to her one day and said, "im not ur friend anymore." she was so sad. she wasn't a sensative person at all and NEVER ERVER cried. she laid her head in my ;ap with her head down and said nothing. i comforted her and we sat there saying nothing. no sound but us breathin. she didnt even wanna eat lunch. the girl i knew who once said ," the world shouldn't stay in their shells" was know saying "im never coming out of my shell" every one i know has lost someone except for me. saddness is around me 24/7. i can't take it. how do i deal with it? what if i lose someone someday? they're all sad and i feel like i can't help or change anything. please help me!
twilightluvr316 on 5/24/2009 1:39:31 PM
help ur friend give a card r flowers be kind and not let her sad all the time cheer her up sometime don't let her sad and despioppn
lakeidra on 5/21/2009 3:37:28 PM
pinkster526 on 5/16/2009 11:49:01 AM
Thanks Lisa B. I really appreciate the advice!
HeartOfSong on 5/6/2009 11:48:42 AM
HeartOfSong on 5/6/2009 11:15:09 AM
I lost my Uncle yesterday. He was in Afghanistan for the armey. I don't really have any friends that I can talk to so It's really hard. We all love you and miss you Jimmy!
Furuba309 on 5/2/2009 11:37:51 PM
this guy at my school was hit by a bus when he was 5. (it was when i was in jk and he was a year older than me so i don't remember) the school planted a tree in his honor and his picture is in the front hall. last year they had a ceremony in memory of him on what would have been his 12th b-day. people were like crying. it was really sad. RIP kevin
kgirlpanda on 4/30/2009 5:56:17 PM
my friend's grandpa died on dec. 24. she was okay because she hardly saw him but it was her dad's dad and she said her dad was really sad. she e-mailed me and told me that she was scared to look at her dad because he was so sad. but they take her gramma out on weekends. and it's fine now.
kgirlpanda on 4/30/2009 5:49:24 PM
pinklemonade on 4/25/2009 10:46:03 PM
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