GirlsLife.com - IF YOU HAVE A FRIEND WHO'S LOST A LOVED ONE...

IF YOU HAVE A FRIEND WHO'S LOST A LOVED ONE...

IF YOU HAVE A FRIEND WHO'S LOST A LOVED ONE ...

BE A GOOD LISTENER. Let her tell stories about her loved one, even if it's repetitive. You don't have to say anything to her--she just needs you to listen and understand.

LET YOUR FRIEND CRY, GET ANGRY, BE MOODY. Expressing her emotions is all part of the healing process.

AVOID CLICHES. Phrases like, "You'll feel better in time," or "At least he's not suffering anymore," diminish the importance of tier loss.

KNOW THAT THERE'S NO RIGHT WAY TO GRIEVE. Even if your friend's behavior is down-right bizarre, don't criticize. Just be patient.

LEND A HELPING HAND. Offer to help with homework or household chores. She'll appreciate anything you can do to lighten her load.

BE COMPASSIONATE. Remember that loss is a major life-changing experience, and you may have to give more time and energy to your friend than you ever have before. That can be trying but, by sharing this experience with her, you'll become closer than ever.

POSTED ON 3/4/2010 8:00:00 AM

TRS:hey girls. i know that alot of you that read this have a friend thats going through a loss or your going through a loss. i also know that sometimes friends who dont know about this kind of thing can hurt us more with a wrong reaction when we try to talk to them. well about a year ago my aunt died and i could never talk to anyone without them getting bored or looking at me like i shouldve gotten over it already, but recently i had an idea. i decided to start a club for people like me who just wanted to talk to someone who gets it called TEARS OF STRENGTH inspired by my aunt who told me you should never be afraid to cry. if you want to talk to someone or join the club please go to my home page and add a comment started with TEARS OF STRENGTH to join. you could also leave a story and ill try to respond as best i can. even if you dont want to join ill be there to talk. kk, srry for the long note but i do want you all who are going through something to know your not alone. (R.I.P diana)

Mod mod mod!!!
My BFF just killed herself!!! T-T I miss her!! I really wanna go with her but that wouldn't be right but I feel I shuld cause I'm bullied at school a lot and I miss her. Plz help!

Hey chica, please contact www.nineline.org for advice on this issue.

Amalia E.

by smartpaws on 11/2/2011 1:38:46 AM

Mod Mod Mod! one of my bffs mom died really awfully a year ago. I have been really supportive and helped her however she needed........... but, she's gotten really weird latly......because her mom always pushed her at school, she's gotten really obsesive and judges herself by the way she does. Also, she compets with me, and can get kinda nasty without relizing it. I've talked to her about it. But she just does it again..I want to support her, but its becoming really hard to and I know she isndriving offand anoying otherbpeople. I don't want her to end up all alone........also, she won't talk to anybody, no consulers or anything, so if I go to my guidence teacher and drag her into it, she will hate me....I've talked to my mom, but she dosent know what to do ethier, and I don't want to talk to my other friends behind her back....what do I do? Sorry this is so long.........

Hey chica, it sounds like your friend definately needs to talk to someone. Can you talk to her dad about it, if he's around? Otherwise, I'd be completely honest with your friend and let her know how you feel. She may not realize that she's doing it. You're a really good friend, and she needs people like you.

xxx

Becca G.

by #1puppylover on 4/24/2011 7:16:51 PM

by destiny true on 1/17/2011 10:32:38 PM

my aunt died about a year ago but i still cry really hard about it.sometimes i feel like im the only one left thats still bothered by it.we were really close.last year when she passed it was a day after she took me out shopping and i felt like it was my fault for a while like i had over exerted her.after i got past that i was really depressed but didn't know it.my grades dropped and i even failed a class.my mom kept asking me if i wanted to talk to someone but that always made me cry because my aunt was the one i would talk to.i tried going to my school therapist and some other people i knew but every one of them said "it'll get easier. believe me, i know what your going through." and that always gets me fired up inside because i ask them if they've ever lost a loved one and they say no so i dont see how they could possibly know what im going through.recently i tried talking to my friends but they just get this bored look. wish i could show them this article.i feel so alone.

by destiny true on 1/17/2011 10:04:36 PM

mod if ur fighting with a bff how do u stop it?

I'm not sure what you two are fighting about, but usually it's easiest to sit down and talk about the problem one-on-one. If you get your other friends involved, it becomes much more complicated and the story becomes twisted, like broken telephone. So, although it may be awkward, next time you are alone with your BFF, sit down and chat it out! Hopefully you'll get something resolved... Good luck!

Katie R.

by iloveicarly1 on 8/18/2010 10:27:39 AM

Becca G.

is modding

Caroline C.

is modding

Lynae P.

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IF YOU HAVE A FRIEND WHO'S LOST A LOVED ONE...

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