Kerra S.

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Drugs & Alcohol

I WAS A BINGE DRINKER

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I was in eighth grade and totally stressed because my parents had just divorced. My older sister took me to parties, and I'd drink with the older kids.

I drank until I got sick, passed out or ended up in the hospital with alcohol poisoning. I was a total binge drinker from the start. I don't think I've ever had just two beers! By 15, I drank every weekend.

I'd funnel five beers in a row just to get high faster. I'd tell guys, "I can drink you under the table!" It was an ego thing. Drinking made me feel like I could talk to anyone and do anything. And it was fun being part of a group--even though they were all drinkers!

I lost my virginity to my boyfriend of two months, and I totally regret it. It's something you should cherish forever--and I can't even remember it. I was sexually uninhibited when I was drunk. I had unprotected sex with people I wouldn't even have kissed if I were sober. It was disgusting. I'd wake up with someone with this horrible feeling that something gross had happened. But that didn't stop me. I dealt with my shame by drinking more. It was the only way to keep from thinking about what I'd done.

I only drank on weekends, but you don't have to drink daily to be an alcoholic. My life was totally unmanageable. I couldn't even stand up at work because I was always sick. Often, I couldn't even get up for classes, so I barely graduated. I wasn't even allowed to walk the stage at my graduation because I'd been so drunk at prom. My mom knew I had a problem, but she couldn't stop me.

Things fell apart this past Fourth of July when my friend and I were drinking with a bunch of guys at her house. After blacking out, my friend lost her virginity to a stranger! She was 19 and had been saving herself for the right guy, so when she realized what she had done, she became hysterical, got in her car and drove off--drunk! Later, she drove back to her house, where I was naked on the couch with some boy. Her dad Showed up, and I was totally humiliated. I felt so Ashamed. I was finally ready to get help.

The next day, with the help of my mom, I entered rehab. I've been here nine days now. The other girls here are amazing--and I don't feel like the only screw-up in the world. I'm getting a chance to know myself. and I'm determined to remain sober. I don't want a life I can't remember.

by "Dominique," 19 as told to Sandy Fertman Ryan

BY ANDREA T. ON 12/16/2009 7:00:00 AM 116 COMMENTS

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116 READER COMMENTS

heyshoppingcountry girl!!!thats odd but not in the mean way!

iwantmyperiod on 3/13/2010 8:41:03 AM

omg thank u serra s! uknow 4the haelp! my hats of 2u!
Becca G.

iwantmyperiod on 3/12/2010 9:51:18 PM

MOD***MOD***MOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
since she was you know... ._....

i need to addmit something...
o.k me...close 2period...mom...says...im not....HELP?!?!

I suggest you tell her all the reasons why you feel youre close. Also ask if you can get pads and tampons just in case. She should listen to reason. Good luck! xoxo kerra

Kerra S.

iwantmyperiod on 3/11/2010 10:27:59 PM

omg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!eeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!id rather not have a penis in my vagina-shuuders while thinking about it...-
p.s...

ick........

iwantmyperiod on 3/11/2010 10:24:11 PM

um may have a problem.when i was in gr.1 my bff told me that her 'rents let her have a teensy bit ov wine whenever she wants.her bro(who was 2) had a glass full.im worried if she still might(probably not!)

what should i do???????/

lipsmackergal9 on 3/6/2010 6:19:17 PM

That's bad. It's 2 bad things put together-drugs and bulimia. Glad you quit.

WaffleAddict on 2/28/2010 6:36:12 PM

MOD MOD MOD!! I have a serious problem. I'm only in the eighth grade, and I've been drinking a bit every night since sixth grade, because i tried wine one night after my parents were asleep, and I really liked it and felt more grown up, so the after that almost every night I went downstairs to have a glass or two. But I never got drunk! So it's not that bad right? But then lately, I've been in a lot of stress and have been drinking a lot more at night, and feel horrible in the mornings. Since I do it alone, there's no one to stop me, and I know now that I should stop, but when I'm there, I can't make myself do it! Please help, I don't want to have drinking problems when I'm older!

Hey girl,

It sounds like you are headed towards having an extremely serious drinking problem. This doesn't make you a bad person, but you are going to have some rough times with addiction. You need to listen to me before it's too late: tell your parents. They are going to be shocked, they might even be really mad, but it's okay to tell them that you need help before it gets even more serious. Nip it in the bud or else it WILL get worse. There are other ways to deal with stress and there are therapists, friends, and family members who can help teach you how to deal with your stress. Just remember that no matter how mad your parents seem, they still love you and are just upset because they are worried and shocked. You'll be okay, but you seriously need to open up about it now. Good luck, you'll be in my thoughts!

Megan P.

Megan P.

xDoYouBelieveInMagicx on 2/26/2010 4:48:25 PM

I know people are going to start telling me how horrible I am, but that is YOUR fault. And that's horribly of your sister to actually take you to the parties!

♀♥♀I§abella♥♀♥

CutieWithGlasses on 2/19/2010 4:47:59 PM

Say your crush's name 5x. (FULL NAME!)
2. Say your full name.

NOW MAKE A WISH!!

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* *

* * *

* * * *

* * * * *

WISH HARDER!

* * * * *

* * * *

* * *

* *

*
WISH! WISH! WISH!!!
*

* *

* * *

* * * *

* * * * *

Now copy and paste this to the next 5 articles you read and your wish will come true in 5 days!

lunastar on 2/12/2010 12:22:25 AM

Thats terrible. I guess im sorry but it wuz really stupid to do that stuff. i agree with cutiecakes. its kinda sad ur in rehab at that age. sorry

starrgirl130 on 2/5/2010 8:24:32 PM

Hey, good for, you should be proud that you realized that you had a problem. My mom used to hang out with the wrong crowd too, that's how she ended up in the hospital for drugs at fifteen, and she darnk, and she smoked,not to mention she lost her virgenity very young. That's how she ened up haveing me at 17...

shoppingcountrygirl on 1/26/2010 10:44:05 PM

Wow, that's tough. I hope everything goes well for you!

LizE on 1/24/2010 3:59:27 PM

thank god im not drinking at all have fun in rehab

samuel8888 on 1/16/2010 7:26:33 PM

*qmp*, I feel for you but I hope the guy used protection or will the next time that happens. There is an epidemic of teen girls our age with STDs and I think a lot of it is related to drinking and doing things with guys just after.

luckykel on 1/3/2010 4:29:28 PM

just two days ago i got really drunk and did a lot of things with a guy who wasn't so drunk that i really regret...i feel you girl.

*qmp* on 1/3/2010 12:36:57 AM

That really sucks. Good luck in rehab!!!

JAJ on 1/2/2010 3:38:30 PM

that suxx

comment on my profile and i will do the same, thanks

Irish Girl on 1/1/2010 3:39:28 PM

Hey girla i've been addicted to stuffing those thin crayons up my nose from the time I was like 3!!! I'm the reason Kindergarten's now have those thick ones! But I gave it up as best I can and you can too stay strong!!!

maddie22lou on 12/29/2009 1:44:25 AM

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The GL Blog on 12/28/2009 6:03:43 PM

i'll probably start drinking before i am 21

jazz/tap/ballroom dancenonstop on 12/28/2009 5:23:29 PM

thats pyshco LAMOST of your sis

annabanana9863 on 12/28/2009 4:50:43 PM

ATTENTION ALL GIRLS READING THIS!

if ur reading this girl talk column, u obviously care about advice. visit my profile, post me a question(if its super important, put ***** at the top) and ill answer in 24 hours, guaranteed. if ur profile isn't publicly visible, i'll answer ur questions on MY profile. thanks! pass it on to ur friends!

~aspiring advice columnist, lauren

soccergirl524 on 12/28/2009 2:20:38 PM

I feel really sorry for you, but at least you're getting the help you need. It is your fault, and
it was really low of your big sister to take you to parties so you yourself wound up getting drunk.
Aren't older ppl supposed to set examples? Yes, they are. And she didn't. I'm glad GL put this up here so we can see what happens to binge drinkers.
I am never going to do this.

selenaFan97 on 12/27/2009 6:38:20 PM

im sorry.after reading your story i never want to drink.

luv798 on 12/27/2009 5:42:30 PM

hey. I am really sorry about what happend. But i am glad you are getting help. This smiley face means that i am happy about that you are getting help.

Gabrielle2000 on 12/22/2009 6:13:01 PM

great job!! most people wait years till they get help! drinking is a horrible thing! My friend almost had unprotected sex aswell... ok lying there! she was not my friend, but I still took care of her! She tried to get me to do it, but i refused.
she was a lesbian, and since i woulnt do it with a stranger (hello??!!) she tried to do it with me!!! I had beed sleeping over at her house, and im also a heavie sleeper, so who ( besides her) knows what happeded at night!

asiagirl1998 on 12/21/2009 11:13:16 PM

I'm never going to drink. Never. Not at any weddings or special events. Never. Besides alcohol smells awful!

xxscarygirlxx on 12/20/2009 9:41:30 PM

I felt so bad when i first read this artacul.

colibug66 on 12/19/2009 9:58:48 PM

We went over the people who drink in one of my classes and middle school people drink more than adults think. When we get to high school there is a large percentage of us who drink and are into binge drinking.

And now we have passed guys on the number of us who drink as teens which a lot of times leads to us having unprotected sex at parties and get togethers. Which is what she was trying to explain in this article. It also happens more than people think because I get to hear all of the stories on what happened over weekends.

Losing your virginity is one thing but possibly getting pregnant because you were drinking and wanting to have a good time would just be terrible. But it happens.

luckykel on 12/19/2009 1:52:42 PM

I feel so bad for that girl! I am not going to say that I will never ever drink in my entire life, because who doesn't want champagne at their wedding? But I will never do it underage, and I WILL NOT loose myself, only to wake up in bed with a stranger who has just done the ickiest thing to me that will ever be done in the history of ever!Could you imagine that? I would probably cry. Loudly. I am happy that she finally had enough courage to get help before the inevitable happened.

Lassie016 on 12/18/2009 9:06:51 PM

I'm sorry that you have addictions, and sorry If I offended you. I didn't intentionally do it, if I did.

sixteengirl93 on 12/17/2009 5:23:01 PM

IDk what to say...

I'm sorry that you put yourself through this, and i hope you'll never do it again, i guess?

Flying Care Bears on 12/16/2009 4:28:14 PM

thanks lynae!
but i dont snort glue. (that is worse) but thanks for the advice. It will really help.
I want a better life

rainbowpanda! on 12/13/2009 4:53:24 PM

MOD! MOD! MOD! I am in junior high and I have done really bad things. I started sniffing glue and then I drank behind my parents back. After I did any of those 2 I felt horrible and wanted to throw up. Then I started getting addicted, i put glue sticks in my purse when we went somewhere and went to the "bathroom real quick". idk what to do. I need major help. I dont want to but it is addicting. How do I stop feeling like this and how do I stop doing this?

Hey chicky, first let me say it's really mature and smart of you to want to change your ways. Slowly take yourself away from the glue. Start by first going one day out of the week without snorting it. Then move to two days, then three and so on. Whenever you get the urge to snort think about all the people who are counting on you. Think about how your family and friends will feel if something happened to you, because inhaling that stuff is not good for you. I know you can do it, you just have to work at it. Get well soon!

Lynae P.

rainbowpanda! on 12/13/2009 3:50:36 PM

good job 4 getting help!!!!!!

kittykatz000000 on 11/7/2009 12:10:43 PM

moomoo1012, its not that hard when you say it in advance. when your young you should make a promise say you will already knwo your answer in the future :] and if you already knwo its wrong and yucky (lol) when your younger it makes when your older no prob to say no

karikaylee on 10/25/2009 3:15:41 AM

i am never going to drink or smoke or any of those stuff!! EWWW!! lol. it just not ok and its never just once when it comes to smoking!!!!! and plus it just doesnt look fun it creepy lol

karikaylee on 10/25/2009 3:13:13 AM

wow u went through a lot but im so glad ur getting better and if u ever get the urge 2 drink just remeber how embarresed u were and all the terrible things that happened when u drank stay strong !!!

pinkbubbles192 on 8/26/2009 10:11:10 AM

MODMODMOD! Well, I have a friend who is usually a very good girl, but she got drunk once and now she feels really bad about it. She told some of her close friends,including me, but they mostly weren't concerned, in fact one of them said that she had done the same thing once as well. How does she get rid of this guilty concience without telling her parents. She feels really bad, adn won't do it again, but she doesn't want to get in trouble.She didn't get too drunk, and she didn't do anything regretable, or so she tells me. I want to help her, but I just don't no how!

Hey girl,

She made a mistake, she's learned from it, now it's time to forgive herself and move on.

Megan P.

Megan P.

Charchar95 on 8/24/2009 3:20:39 PM

wow amazing story, its a little shcoking to think rhat stories like these aren't made up. keep up being sober, its a good thing you went for help as soon as you could of. alcohol could of ruined your life.Stay Strong!

naley23oth on 8/12/2009 3:10:36 PM

i am very happy for you. you are making the next step to a normal life.

glamgirl239 on 8/10/2009 8:11:02 PM

snap. u haf a he-uge problem. but its ur own fault

daniluvsu on 8/9/2009 7:59:24 PM

ok granted, that was a really dum idea 2 start drinkin in da first place, but remember, an addiction 2 anything is terrible and almost unmanageable. it was a terrible experience. u guys dont have any rite 2 bag on her, and i praise her because she realized the danger and the nastyness of the problm and got help.

missginnyweasley001 on 8/8/2009 7:59:13 AM

we all should be proud of you, for getting help, and helping yourself.

sierraluvsoccer on 8/6/2009 8:12:38 PM

wow good thing your friend helped you with that

anhnguyen on 8/4/2009 5:47:37 PM

MOD!
welll, my best friend drinks all the time at her dads house cause he doesnt care. and i was over there and she was like 'we can drink tonight my dad just baought a case of mikes hard' and i really didnt want to and she was like pressuring me and stuff and i almost started crying. but then i was just like no. then she had a bday party and her and these other girls were all drinking margaritas that her dad gave them and she was like one more and she gave it to me and everyopne was staring at me so i chugged it just so everyopne didnt think i was a loser. im really mad at my friend for doing that to me when she knows i dont drink. what should i do?

Hey girl! I know peer pressure is so tough to ignore, but you shouldn't do anything you don't feel comfortable with. Sit your friend down and explain to her that although she may drink, and it's her choice, you don't want to yourself. You're not her parent, so you're not going to try to control her, but as your bff, she shouldn't force you to do things you don't want to do. If that happens again, don't feel like you have to drink. If the other girls think you're not cool for not drinking, they're absolutely wrong. Best, Kristen

Kristen Y.

cg00dx on 7/30/2009 12:30:22 PM

that's terrible! you should read abiography on drew barrymore. i did for a school book report, and now i KNOW i will NOT drink until i'm 21 and will NEVER do drugs or smoke!

iloverupert on 7/27/2009 2:37:45 AM

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD Ok my bf for about 3 years and yes I am young going to be a freshman, anyway, he called me when I got back from a camping trip and told me that over 4th of July he had seen a few of his friends and they took everything they could find in their parents cupboards and put it in a huge bottle and pretty much drank it all. He said he drank the most and the other kids had to help him get every where. I was sooooo upset with him I hung up right when he finished his story. Then he called back and said he was just joking and wanted to know how I would react. Then I got major mad at him for theat. But I forgave him.THEN he made up a different story taht he had drank a lil bit with his dad. Then I was like ok whatever. Then he said that the first story was actually true and he couldn't handle lying to me! First of all underaged drinking and getting wasted is on my top HATE list and before he told me he would never do taht stuff. I'm just sooo mad at him. Almost all my relatives are alcoholics and have ended up in jail or prison. I don't want him to turn into other kids in our school who get wasted every weekend or like adults who ruin their lives because of drugs and beer. UGH. What would you do in this situation. I want to forgive him and I told him all this already and he says he just wanted the experience and that he's sry but ugh I don't know.

Hey girl! Sorry to hear about the rough sitch. That's so tough. It sounds like your bf was just curious, but because he tried to hide it from you, he does feel guilty about it. Talk to him and explain why you're so against drinking. If he really cares, he'll understand and take what you say to heart. Don't give up on him yet. Everyone makes mistakes, and he did tell the truth. But if he keeps drinking or keeps lying, you may need to say goodbye. Best, Kristen

Kristen Y.

LilGirl08 on 7/9/2009 12:33:43 PM

i think her sister shudn't have done that. put her in a party and let her drink. even tho she has to take responsibility 4 it, it's partly her sister's fault.

tinxangel12 on 7/6/2009 8:26:46 PM

Once you start, it's hard to stop. It screws you up and makes you do crazy and insane things like having sex.
I'm proud of you girl, you made it through. <3

PeaceSigningChick on 7/2/2009 2:15:35 PM

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Kerra S.

is modding

Drugs & Alcohol

I WAS A BINGE DRINKER

116 READER COMMENTS

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