This school year, why not be that supercool chick who has friends in every single crew? It's beyond cool to have a core set of buds. But do you find yourself holding back from getting to know a potential new pal just because you have different crews? Like, she’s a brain who’s prez of the math club, and you’re setting records with the indoor track team. You guys wouldn’t mix, right? Not necessarily!
FOLLOW THE FUN
The first move in adding names to your buddy list? Meet-and-greet, of course. Think of a groovy group activity, and take it for a spin. Are you the world’s most devoted Twilight fan? Join a book club, and exchange opinions with other eager readers. Love stitching your own clothes? Design costumes for drama club, and get to know some aspiring thespians. Or think outside the box and master a new skill: If you’re normally a sporty girl, don’t be afraid to give debate club a whirl.
CONVERSATION KICKOFFS
The best way to chat up a potential pal is to jump right in and introduce yourself. Say you’re tackling the rock-climbing wall and having trouble getting your footing. There’s one girl who’s already shot effortlessly to the top—twice!—so compliment her mad skills: “You’re an awesome climber! Any tips?” See the new-transfer girl sitting alone in the library? Plop your books down at her table, and ask her what’s up. Hanging around the school office, waiting to see your guidance counselor? Strike up a convo with the girl sitting next to you. Don’t be shy!
JUDGE NOT
Don’t let your first impression of a girl’s personality place her in the “no way” pile. A perfect example? Mandy, your bio lab partner this semester. When your teacher paired you guys up, you weren’t all that psyched. Mandy got hung with a kinda geeky rep—she won first place in the science fair, and she wears thick, nerdy glasses. But when you had a real conversation with Mandy, your take on her totally changed. She’s hilariously funny and incredibly nice! See why pre-judging someone is unfair?
STATUS STRESS
Why bend yourself like a pretzel to fit in only with the popular crowd? Of course, not every Cool Girl is a Mean Girl, but status has nothing to do with somebody’s worth. Another major time-waster? Worrying about your “image” going south if you make buds outside a certain group. If clique-y types are gonna be shallow enough to bust on you because you hang with a wide variety of buds, who needs ’em?
TRUE TO YOUR CREW
Don’t accidentally neglect your current closer-than-close buds. The point of spreading your friendship wings is to make new friends, not lose old ones. Let your true-blues know that even though you’re outgrowing the just-one-clique trap, you’ll never outgrow them. Long-term buds are more valuable than gold, so don’t drift away. Instead, bring a newfound bud around, and invite your crew to meet her. Encourage all your pals to mix and mingle—they might even form friendships among themselves.
LOVE BEING A LEADER
Going after friendships with buds of many different varieties speaks volumes about your awesome level of confidence and independence. It says only the best things about you as a friend and as an individual. It lets the world know you respect people for who they are, have an open mind, are brave enough not to rely on the security of a single group and don’t care about what others think—you only care about what’s right for you. Maybe others will follow your fine example. It’ll be a friend trend!
By: Lisa Mulcahy