You and your BFF have been tight since you were tots. But now? She comes over to watch The Hills…and there’s awkward silence during commercials. Or you head to the mall, and she wants to check out PacSun while you’d rather hit Hot Topic. What is going on?
Blast to the Past
Relationships take ongoing effort. Fact is, it’s common to hit rough patches with a friend as you mature, even if things always seemed easy before. You’re both growing and changing, which can complicate matters.
What to do? Remind yourself of what made you such good friends to begin with. Reminisce by collaborating on a special art project: Get some poster board, a little glue, and snapshots of you and your friend so you can make photo collages. One for you, one for her.
What’s New?
Since you’ve both outgrown The Little Mermaid and Chuck E. Cheese’s, it’s time to find new common interests over which to bud-bond. Summer is the perfect time to take up new activities both ou and your friend can agree on.
Try kicking it together at a martial arts class. Or, better yet, train for a charity run. There’s nothing like sharing a passion for a good cause.
Close encounters
Ignoring problems rarely makes them go away. Instead, refuse to accept the fault lines in a friendship until you’ve done all you can to repair them. Rather than toughing it out through those bouts of awkward silence, speak up.
Be brave enough to say, “Hey, our friendship is floundering. Let’s talk about how we can fix this.” Have an honest chat about what’s wrong, then put your heads together to figure out ways to make it right.
Be a Space Cadet
Spending every minute with your girl is unnecessary and not particularly healthy. Give each other space, and get together only when you have substantial plans. Vegging out in front of the TV day in and day out makes things stale, for sure.
Spread Out
Friends aren’t one-size-fits-all, so it’s great to have a variety of pals in your phone list. If you get to know different girls in your circle, you won’t sweat it so much when your BFF seems off-ish. Make the most of the times she seems distant by building and strengthening your other friendships. Even if she’s still your best friend, that doesn’t mean she’s your only friend.
-Liz Funk
BY ANDREA T. ON 5/8/2009 7:00:00 AM 12 COMMENTS