The three of you were seriously tight, but now you’re on the outside looking in.
Oh, the tangled friendship triangle…
You and your two best friends were an inseparable trio. If you weren’t hangin’ out together, you were IMing. But, lately, it seems your two buds have joined forces—against you. They’re still scoping guys at the mall and gabbing at the lunch table, but they’re icing you out. Instead of having a private pity party, here’s how to deal.…
Make Sure To Make Time
It could be you and your pals have hit a fork in the road, and the two of them are veering right while you turn left. Are their class schedules identical, so you’re conquering French class sans les amis? Or maybe they’re sweating it out on the basketball court when you’re belting out tunes for the school musical. If they’re involved in the same activities, they automatically have quality time together.
Make an effort to squeeze some in. Pencil in a weekly date, like pizza and a movie every Friday night with your two best buds. An evening of extra cheese and the complete Orlando Bloom collection can be very bonding.
Dare To Go Duo
Even though you’ve shared thousands of mad-happy moments as a group, there’s no substitute for a little one-on-one with a dear friend. Invite one girl over when you know the other is going to be busy with piano practice or fam obligations. Even if all you do is hang out in your crib and catch up, you’ll feel more connected. If you squeeze in a few rounds of twosome time with each pal, things with your crew might get back to normal.
Simply Speak Up
OK, so you’ve hosted a girls’ night in, passed funny little notes in the hallway and joined them on the decorations committee for the school dance. Still, despite your efforts, you can’t reconnect? It could be time to get to the bottom of their bad-bud behavior.
Try, “Lately, I feel like you and Cassie are pushing me away. I really value our friendship and hope that if either of you has a problem with me, you’ll let me know.” Yeah, easier said than done, right? Resist the urge to e-mail or IM your concerns. You’re much more likely to get a straight and truthful answer in person. And once you’ve cleared the air, you can stop wasting your time worrying —regardless of the outcome.
Know When To Say Bye
Take a fearless look at your sitch, and decide if your two best buds have been treating you in a way that is genuinely respectful. If they’re not returning phone calls or including you in their plans to hit the mall for post-holiday clearance sales, something’s up. Sad but true—sometimes, friends grow apart.
Yes, it’s painful to think these girls, who’ve been so important to you for so long, might not be a part of your life anymore. Bottom line? You must, must, must cut ties with anyone who doesn’t value you as a true friend.
Expand Your Horizons
As long as your friendship situation is still on uncertain turf, bust out! Don’t wait around for your buds to welcome you back to their inner circle. Make plans with that groovy girl who sits next to you in history class, or sign up for a pottery class. Shake up your routine, and be open to trying new things and meeting new people. Even if your friends stop giving you the brush-off and the three of you start hanging out again, it’s cool to have other awesome people in your life. The more the merrier, right?
-Mandy Forr