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ADVICE | FRIENDS | FAB UP YOUR FRIENDSHIP

32 Comments | Add Yours

Spring clean your friendships

 
 

Check these out, too...

  • Help! My BFF can't stand my BF
  • My friend sulks if I do better in school than her. Help!
  • 3 times it's OK to tell your bestie's secret
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  • 8 BFF Reads: Characters' friendships you won't want to miss
Over time, bad feelings can build up in a friendship just like the pile of clothes collecting on your closet floor. To boost your relationship with your best buds, you need to tackle the probs that you’ve been sweeping under the rug.

 

For example, say your BFF did something that hurt your feelings, but you never told her how upset you were. If you keep bottling up your feelings, you’ll resent her company and your friendship will fall apart. It’s time to air that dirty laundry babe. We’re with ya every step of the way.

 

Remember, the occasional serious chat with your bud might be difficult, but it’s gonna be great for your friendship. Just because you have things to say doesn’t mean you have to be rude or make her defensive. Honesty and sincerity are key, sweetie.

 

First, let your friend know how much you truly care, and how valuable your friendship is to you. Let her know that the purpose of this talk is to express your feelings and hear hers so that you can actually be together without any “bad blood” or hidden unpleasantness.

 

Then let her know what you have been feeling lately. If there is something that she did that hurt your feelings, let her know. Tell her exactly why what she did hurt your feelings, and exactly how it made you feel. Just remember to be respectful while doing this. It isn’t easy to hear that you hurt someone’s feelings, so your best friend may be hurt or even angry to hear what you have to say.

 

After you have expressed your thoughts, share the positives. Let her know how much she means to you, and maybe even tell her specific examples of times she helped you out or made you feel better.

 

Let her have her say. She may have been holding things back from you as well. For the friendship to thrive, your best friend needs to be able to tell you how she is feeling as well.

 

After your talk, you need to let go and move on. Everyone needs a little spring-cleaning every once in a while. Once your relationships are spic-‘n’-span, you can get back to havin’ fun with your BFFs.

BY SHELBY CONQUES ON 3/29/2011 1:04:00 PM

POSTED IN bff, bust my bestie problem, 411 on fighting with friends, growing apart

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MOD MOD MOD!
What does MOD mean????


Hey! Mod is short for Moderator and that's my job, to moderate and check all the comments on the site to keep it safe and fun for you guys Smile If you have a question about anything or need advice start your comment with "mod mod mod" and one of the moderators on duty will get back to you as soon as she can. thanks for the question! 


Helen S.

report

by rue_prim13 on 3/30/2012 5:49:10 PM

 
 



Mod Mod Mod Mod
I really need help. I was friends with a girl since 5th grade. She has always been kind of mean (she used to physically hurt me) and she made me feel bad. I found some new friends that are nice and make me feel good but I feel bad about ditching her because her mom just left for 6 months to go to rehab. What should I do?
My other problem is that my best friend (a different girl) that I have known my whole life has just started ignoring me. She knew it was my birthday and she didn't even talk to me. It hurt my feelings. I haven't been mean to her at all. How can I get my relationship back to the way it was?

 

Hey! just talk to your mean-ish friend about the way things are between you guys. have an honest discussion about why you're growing apart. Invite your best friend over to hang out and re-connect. 


Helen S.

report

by sgirl26 on 3/16/2012 7:35:44 PM

 
 

MOD
well it all started a while ago when my bff started going out with this guy and hanging with this other girl. She started to be really well, not really mean but she just acted like I didn't exist. I tried to talk to her several times but she kept saying she was busy and that she promised someone she'd hangout with them. After a theater group performance we sorta became closer but now she's going further apart again and I think it's going back to how it was before! help!

 

Hey chica! It's such a sucky feeling to feel distanced from your bff. In your case, it's her that's causing the distance. I would suggest that you explain to her how it's making you feel. Tell her that you are hurt by it and that you miss her. Listen to her reasoning. Give her the benefit of the doubt but tell her that you want to feel close to her and talk to her everyday. If she really is your bff, she'd understand and start to make changes. See what happens; if the outcome is not in your favor, you can't force a friendship. 


 
Amalia E.

report

by watevz98 on 10/10/2011 3:41:33 AM

 
 

What Does MOD mean??????????????????????????????????

report

by punkydoodle01 on 5/24/2011 8:52:07 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
K so my best friend and I used to sit at this table at lunch and I was included but she kinda wasn't so one day I blew up and freaked out at one girl who was being really mean and we eventually moved tables... Now she barely talks to me and I keep saying we should hang out but she keeps saying she's busy. I recently asked her to hang out this weekend and she said she was going to the cabin and I just found out she was having a double sleepover with two of the people who sit at our table. I feel so hurt so what do I do?




hey! just talk to your friend and find out why she's mad at you. then you guys can work it out Smile
Helen S.

report

by Chrysanthymum on 5/20/2011 5:07:49 PM

 
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