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ADVICE | FRIENDS | FAB UP YOUR FRIENDSHIP

32 Comments | Add Yours

Spring clean your friendships

 
 

Check these out, too...

  • Help! My BFF can't stand my BF
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Over time, bad feelings can build up in a friendship just like the pile of clothes collecting on your closet floor. To boost your relationship with your best buds, you need to tackle the probs that you’ve been sweeping under the rug.

 

For example, say your BFF did something that hurt your feelings, but you never told her how upset you were. If you keep bottling up your feelings, you’ll resent her company and your friendship will fall apart. It’s time to air that dirty laundry babe. We’re with ya every step of the way.

 

Remember, the occasional serious chat with your bud might be difficult, but it’s gonna be great for your friendship. Just because you have things to say doesn’t mean you have to be rude or make her defensive. Honesty and sincerity are key, sweetie.

 

First, let your friend know how much you truly care, and how valuable your friendship is to you. Let her know that the purpose of this talk is to express your feelings and hear hers so that you can actually be together without any “bad blood” or hidden unpleasantness.

 

Then let her know what you have been feeling lately. If there is something that she did that hurt your feelings, let her know. Tell her exactly why what she did hurt your feelings, and exactly how it made you feel. Just remember to be respectful while doing this. It isn’t easy to hear that you hurt someone’s feelings, so your best friend may be hurt or even angry to hear what you have to say.

 

After you have expressed your thoughts, share the positives. Let her know how much she means to you, and maybe even tell her specific examples of times she helped you out or made you feel better.

 

Let her have her say. She may have been holding things back from you as well. For the friendship to thrive, your best friend needs to be able to tell you how she is feeling as well.

 

After your talk, you need to let go and move on. Everyone needs a little spring-cleaning every once in a while. Once your relationships are spic-‘n’-span, you can get back to havin’ fun with your BFFs.

BY SHELBY CONQUES ON 3/29/2011 1:04:00 PM

POSTED IN bff, bust my bestie problem, 411 on fighting with friends, growing apart

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MOD MOD MOD!!!
well i had no friends last christmas, i made friends that january and we are really close, well 3 of us... me, and two twins, were are bestfriends. trouble. another girl thinks she is my best friend even though she tells me nothing and uses me to go places.the twins dont like her! another girl thinks she is the twins bestfriend but, trouble is when the twins invite her to their house she doesnt talk to them or anything! she copies them in every way shape and form! its so annoying! and she hates me for taking her bestfriends away! even though they dont talk and if the twins invite me to theirs she invites her self and asks what time. I want to say something to her, because in school she doesnt let me sit/stand near them. it gets akward when im with her. and for my birthday and the twins birthday we dont know what to do or who to invite because of this! i cant cope anymore. what should i do? thanks mod Smile

 

Hey Girl,


This is a sticky situation. In terms of the girl who uses you only to go places, I would decline her requests to go places with you, especially if you recognize that she is doing that. I would also tell her how you feel, and explain that if you two want to be friends, you would like to talk to her and hang out. Next, I would try to make sure that you don't make plans with the twins or talk about upcoming plans in front of this girl. She probably feels left out, which is why she invites herself over. The reason she tries to makes sure you don't stand or sit by the twins is she feels a little left out. To appease her, maybe every so often try including her in some activity. I think the twins should talk to this girl and nicely explain that they don't understand why she is so upset about the three of you hanging out so much, if she doesn't seem to be good friends with them. As for your birthdays coming up, invite who you want, it's your party and you should invite you want. Just make sure to not talk about the parties in front of people who aren't invited.


 

danielle D.

danielle D.

report

by insideoutkid on 4/22/2011 5:58:04 AM

 
 

MOD! MOD! MOD! MOD! MOD!
Since the beginning of the year, me and this girl have been very good friends. I thought she was nice, but she ditched me for this more popular girl and know she won't even talk to me because her new friend won't let her. Now they just make fun of me and I have no close friends in my homeroom class(I have more friends in other classes). How can I get her to like me again? Should I make some new friends? Thanks~Catlover4723

 

Hey girlie girl!

 Do not waste too much time trying to win this girl over. I wouldn't want to be around people who makes fun of me. Instead, give this girl some space and focus on the friendships you have with your other friends in different classes. If you don't have assigned seating in homeroom, try sitting by some new people in your homeroom. You never know what kind of friendship might develop! If you really want to try to make amends with this girl, try grabbing her when she is by herself and ask to catch up and tell her how disappointed and hurt you felt when she ditched you.


 

danielle D.




danielle D.

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by Catlover4723 on 4/21/2011 1:41:13 PM

 
 

MOD,
ok so I have a favorite youtube guru (macbarbie07) and i am extremely jealous of her, like i feel like it's not fair that I don't have her life she has so many clothes and friends and is home school and has an amazing house and is beautiful and lives in california where i want to live. and i have a youtube and i have what, 54 subs? I just don't want to feel like i want her life anymore.




Hey girlie. Everyone has those people that they envy, and that's totally normal. But that's just what you see of her. I'm sure she has her own jealousy issues of others (just like you). After a while, it will get old to you and you'll probably not care as much. Just give yourself some time. 
Marly Z.

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by Gigilove321 on 4/18/2011 5:40:34 PM

 
 



MOD
i have been at a school now for 2 years and i am top set in everything. im 10 years old. i have this bff and we are always with eachother. she is starting to really annoy me and i dont like her anymore. i dont want to tell her though because she picks on people and then if i hate her she will bully me. she also makes me go down grades because she always asks me for help when im working and i have to help her or she gets moody. my whole family hate her and now so do i. is there a way of changing her because i want to be her friend because i know she is a nice good girl somewhere inside. also how can i get my family to like her?




hey! well you can't really change people. You have to accept them for who they are. good luck! 
Helen S.

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by memechloe on 4/15/2011 6:50:47 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD!
So, my friend met this guy on an online chatting site who claims to be a not-so-known-famous person. (Like, just on Youtube.) So, he managed to convince my HUUUUUGE group of friends that it was really him, but now I'm having my doubts. He has a Facebook, but his official page said he only had 1 personal. He might be trying to hide it, but still. I think he's video chatted a few times, but I'm not positive. I'm not sure if they have real proof. So, my friend has talked to him on video chat and stuff. He left one clue on his YouTube page that showed that it might be him, but I'm still not sure. For one thing, I don't want my friend to get hurt- she loves him, and he says that he loves her. For another, if he's not who he says he is...who is he, really? I don't want my friend to be in danger. I can't confront him because I don't know him well enough, I can't tell an adult, and if I confront her she'll say that it's him. Please help!

Bonjour chicky! Sounds like your in tough situation, so just make sure you watch her from the sidelines. Since they're just video chatting, he can't do anything serious with her there but if he starts asking where she lives or wants to meet with her privately, then those are some serious red flags! Make sure she doesn't give any personal information to this guy or meet up with him in a private space. You can be smooth about it like "let's make it a double date" or "don't give him your address - you're coming on too strong." It's also at this point (where she's thinking of meeting him privately) that you'll HAVE to tell an adult for we so many scary stories of girls not coming back after meeting up with these guys online. For more helpful tips check out our website: http://www.girlslife.com/post/2010/03/02/cyberspace-safety.aspx

Jessica W.

report

by FashionGurlie on 4/14/2011 2:11:08 AM

 
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