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Dear Carol

I’ve been homeschooled for three years and I'm going back to public school. It will be my first time in high school so I’m nervous, especially since im goth and I'm afraid of kids teasing me.


 
Dear School Fool, 
Remind yourself that other new kids will be looking for friends and that teasing tends to be less of a problem in high school because many students have outgrown the insecurities behind mean-spiritedness. Be outgoing, and sign up for after-school activities. Also, why not show up for school in an outfit that isn’t so attention-getting? You’re right that people judge by appearances, so it’s not a bad idea to have a lower profile at least the first few days of the new school year.

 

Want More Advice? Order Carol Weston’s Girltalk Fourth Edition: All the Stuff Your Sister Never Told You. It’s got the answers to all of your most important questions. So if you're looking for tips, quotes, advice, or just plain info about growing up, friends, boys, school, family stuff, substance abuse, or any problems big and small, check out Dear Carol's Girltalk or For Girls Only. They'll help you feel confident, inspired and energized!

 

SERIOUS STUFF? For serious issues, don’t wait. Visit our HELP! page now.


For more on Carol Weston, visit her website: carolweston.com.

 

BY ANDREA T. ON 9/5/2008 11:31:00 AM 101 COMMENTS

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101 READER COMMENTS

just be glad you get to go to school i am homeschooled and i am not allowed to go to school at all which sucks sometimes because i do not have a life

velvethutch on 9/5/2008 12:32:56 PM

first comment???
yay!
anyways...
i love u guys!!!!!

jazzygrl on 9/5/2008 1:10:54 PM

If you came to my school i would like beg to be ur best friend..

PinkElephant on 9/5/2008 1:39:53 PM

I've been homeschooled all my life... and even though I'll be homeschooled this year, next year when I hit high school, I'll be going to public school. It's a little nerve racking but I still think it'll be fun to try something new like that!

Lexy5 on 9/5/2008 1:45:54 PM

Hmmmm, I think that you should not wear tons of black and not such dark makeup. Just wear blue jeans and a black shirt, black shoes, clear lipgloss, dark earings and dark blue eyeshadow. But wear a colorful belt or something. Hope I helped.

ttyltori on 9/5/2008 1:48:35 PM

Hey was I the first comment with my other post?!

ttyltori on 9/5/2008 1:53:10 PM

I understand how you feel. I have been home-schooled my entire life and parents are gonna send me to a public high school. I have so many fears. Don't worry. You're not the only one going throughh that.

koolie on 9/5/2008 2:55:39 PM

hehe i am hoeschooled!!! i started in the middle last year (6th grade) and i am in 7th now!!! i usually finish early!!! like instead of at like3 i stiop at 12! haha

hollistercali on 9/5/2008 3:07:28 PM

Hey! i've been in this position before! just last year i went to public school for the first time since fourth grade and i was so scared that i would be discriminated and made fun of or completely alienated because of my background. i happened to meet some of my best friends there! and no, not everyone likes me for who i am, but i still had the best experience ever with all the opportunities i was given. i loved it! i hope you have a great time like i did, and good luck!
---Emma

designer410 on 9/5/2008 3:27:41 PM

I've been homeschooled for all my life. I like it, but sometimes I wish that I went to public school.

horseyluv on 9/5/2008 3:40:47 PM

-------------------MOD---------------------------
ok so i started high school on wednesday and it really good. but theres this really wierd girl that's following one of my best friends. and she things that she's best friends with my friend. she's really annoying and she won't let up! how can we get away from her without being really mean? PLEASE HELP!!! i cant standd her.




Hey girl!

Just talk to the girl and tell her how you are feeling. Or give her a chance because everyone needs a friend.

<3 Brianna 

swimbabi94 on 9/5/2008 3:54:54 PM

i'm a freshie this year, and trust me, there are all types of cliques in high school. yes, goths included. and my school is pretty small [about 1500 kids all together]. just find your own group, sign up for an extracurricular activity or club, and be yourself!

wish you the best!!

_savvygirl_15 on 9/5/2008 4:16:24 PM

That was me this year- exactly! I was homeschooled, then I went to school and I had a similar style.

But for the first day, I put away the studded belts. I put off getting bleached coonstripes in my hair for a while because I didn't want people to be afraid of me lol. That happens a lot. Sooo, still keep your style but tone it down some for the first week. Let people get to know you first =]

Good luck! I loovve school, I hope you do too!

~ Gl READER 17

gl_READER17 on 9/5/2008 4:21:57 PM

**** MOD ****
Help! This guy gave me his number but I don't really like him. What can I do? He thinks I'm gonna call him!




Hey girl!

You can just tell him if you see him that you are not ready for a bf and you can't have any distractions from your school work. 

<3 Brianna 

gl_READER17 on 9/5/2008 4:27:35 PM

I have gone to public school my whole life { well starting since I was 5 anywaY}

brunettee on 9/5/2008 4:27:57 PM

Hey thats great my cousin went to public school after being home schooled and loved it
btw...first comment

darbyakamimi on 9/5/2008 4:43:03 PM

first comment? surely not! I've experienced this before when i moved in middle school. I'm not goth or anything, but it is tough to make friends! Now, two years later, I have the awesomest friends ever!!! Smile

JBLuvr24 on 9/5/2008 4:56:04 PM

MOD MOD MOD MOD PLEASE PLEASE ANSWER!!!!!!!!!!!!
i just figured out one of my friends[not super close] cuts!she is a little overwait,her famliy isnt very good and her boyfriend does it too. i think shes getting help but i want her to know im there for her without her suspition b/c we arent super close. i feel so bad!!!




Hey girl!

Talk to her and tell her how you feel. Also talk to a parent or a guardian about this to help you too.

<3 Brianna 

girly-girl-#1 on 9/5/2008 4:56:09 PM

Just be yourself!!! Everyone gets teased sometimes, but you could always make a joke back or ignore them. The important thing is to be yourself, and ENJOY IT.

Cheerleadin' Cowgirl on 9/5/2008 4:59:35 PM

1st comment?? lol

LexiLou on 9/5/2008 5:12:15 PM

School is hard. I've wanted to go goth for quite a while now. And even though I'm not, people still call me goth and emo because I wear black and a lot of eyeliner. I've even been called a vampire! For the most part I agree with Carol except for the last part. Don't change your look to fit in. You're all about individuality and that's a good thing. Being orignal is better then following the trends. You should be proud of who you are(I'm sure you are.) If people don't like you that's there problem not yours. Who cares what other people think. You're perfect as you are.
You'll make plenty of friends who will embrace you for you. Gothic or not. Plus teasing is something that all of us have gone through. Don't worry you'll have a great time. Even if the first month or so is awkward. Good luck in school!

MusicChick on 9/5/2008 5:13:18 PM

I bet it's gonna be hard but just remember that you're not gonna be the only person there who is nervous.Maybe you could make friends with them and things will be easier for you.

Hugs & Kisses,
Katherine

kitkat579 on 9/5/2008 5:33:27 PM

i think goth people are cool i love there style and i had a hand reader tell me that i might change to goth if that pic is you i think you a preaty

Guysloveme on 9/5/2008 6:12:17 PM

i think goth people are cool i love there style and i had a hand reader tell me that i might change to goth if that pic is you i think you are preaty

Guysloveme on 9/5/2008 6:18:17 PM

i was wondering if you could tell me how you put that eye liner around your eye and have it look good cuz i love how that looks

Guysloveme on 9/5/2008 6:24:54 PM

MOD!!
ok so my ex bff(were still a little close but not as much as we were) is lik "I hav 2 hav a bf no matter what" so a lot ppl tnk shes a player(i tnk so 2) well she turned down this 1 guy because she was goin 2 a diffrent school and i thought that was a good reason because it was true and she shouldnt b dating some1 in a diffrent school and she agreed w/ me..then the nxt day another guy asked her out and she said yes! the guy she turned down was pretty hurt about it(i mean who can blam him)....her and her bf went out 4 a couple month and she just recently broke up w/ him b4 school started cause she wanted 2 spend more time on school work..now i just found out shes goin out w/ a guy from her school!! i thought she was goin 2 change this time but she didnt....a lot of guys dont ask me out because im friends w/ her and they tnk im lik her but im not!..should i tell her 2 stop w/ all this "i need a bf now!" routine and actually keep her word w/ a guy or stop being friends w/ her







Hey girl!

Just talk to her and tell her how you feel. Communication is very important and if you do not say anything then the problem will not be solved.

<3 Brianna 

moosesrockj on 9/5/2008 6:33:32 PM

I don't agree with Carol on the last part. Being Goth is a style, and you're expressing your individuality. Don't worry about people judging you because you're Goth. If they're worth being friends with, they'll see you for who you really are, not the clothes you wear. Good luck, public school is really fun once you get used to it!

Nuzai on 9/5/2008 6:54:36 PM

MOD
i have really big thys. is there any exercise that will burn all this fat?




Hey girl!

Just eat healthy and do cardio. And if you have any questions ask a parent or a doctor.

<3 Brianna 

popmusic on 9/5/2008 7:34:32 PM

Dear Carol,
I like this boy and I thunk he likes me but im not shure how can i tell if a boy likes me or not with out telling him.

princess aa on 9/5/2008 8:04:17 PM

MODDDDD!!! Im in 7th grade now and i want to get stronger and healthyer and smaller. I do cheer leading do thats makes me stong and i swim in the summer but i want to do more things! I want to eat helthier and exersize more but i dont really have the motivation. and i dont know how make my arms and belly strong but my parents wont buy me weights! Btw i am 5 ft 1 inch and i way about 102 or something like that.

 

Eat more fruits and vegetables. You can always go running. Smile Laura

Green sparkles on 9/5/2008 9:12:17 PM

I don't think you should tell her that she shouldn't wear what makes her happy!

If you wana dress goth, GO AHEAD! you can make friends with people that are like you. if you pretend to be someone your not, youll make friends that you have nothing in common with. i think its very important to be clear about who you are on the 1st day! and every day for that matter!

fashionista8613 on 9/5/2008 9:21:51 PM

hm. im going from a tiny private school, to (hopefully) a huge public school. i have to get in a special program

magicfingertips on 9/5/2008 9:33:42 PM

MOD MOD MOD MOD!! My friend has a horrible problem that needs to be solved! ok, she has these so called "friends" who are very annoying! Ok, so heres the thing; her and her best friend, whenever they're talking to a guy... ANY guy, these two girls (lets call 'em #1, and #2) they barge up EVERYTIME my friend and her friend are talking to a guy and they're like to him "heeyy" *pretending to be really cute*. #1 and #2 always say to my friend "are our friends bothering u?" to the guy and are still trying to be all cute and then they kinda push my friend her friend aside. #1 and #2 like to hang out with whoever my friend is talking to! Its very annoying according to my friend! #1 and #2 used to be my friends' friends! one of them my friend has known since kindergaten as well! do you know any little things my friend could say to get them to back off a bit? They are driving my friend crazy! Thanks! And plz answer!

 

She should ignore them! Smile Laura

soccerluvrgrl on 9/5/2008 10:00:09 PM

2 of my friends turned goth.
don't know y.
guess they kinda think it's cool.
word of advice - POPULAR PPL R NOT GOTH!!!!
sorry, just the truth (@ least 4 our school).
but some guys like goth girls

Buh-Bah on 9/5/2008 10:22:09 PM

*~*~*MOD*~*~* I need advice. Can you help me out?

 

of course! Smile Laura

yourhomieg313 on 9/5/2008 10:29:38 PM

i didnt realize how many of us were home-schooled
i would hate to be home schooled

smartiepants on 9/5/2008 11:04:52 PM

I am homeschooled and I feel you and I know what it feels like!!
and to the people reading this we are just like you we just go to our house for school not a building. We do have friends(or at least I doSmile)
Just like you dont judge a book by its cover, Dont judge someone by what school they go to (or in your case what school they went to before).

Homeshooled and have friends and live a normal life!!

jess10 on 9/5/2008 11:49:59 PM

yo,
there is a crazy person that is sitting next tic m e right now

VoLlYbAlLy3 on 9/6/2008 12:18:28 AM

I know a boy he was home schooled and went back in high school he has made a lot of friends cents then you will be fine

shauna rocks on 9/6/2008 9:21:28 AM

Hey MOD
ok so las night my best friend went to this girls house to sleepover whom we both hate and is only going cause my my other friend is going too! Am i the only one to think its mean to lead the girl on? should i say something to myfriend? thx




Hey girl!

Talk to your friend and hell her how you are feeling.

<3 Brianna 

I<3juicy on 9/6/2008 9:21:54 AM

I'VE BEEN HOMESCHOOLED FOR THE LAST TWO YEARS AND I JUST WENT BACK TO PUBLIC SCHOOL LAST WEEK

mychemicalromance1995 on 9/6/2008 10:39:29 AM

i like this 1 kid in my tech ed class. he's REALLY cute and funny but my friend said he's a trouble maker. he only seems like he'd get in trouble not really that much but school's only been going on for 3 days. i see him on A and C days (every other day). but my ex-crush is in my math honors class & i'm starting 2 like him again!!! i see him on B and C days (evry other day). i also have lunch with him every other day. him & i have known each other 4 about 4 yrs. he's REALLY cute and funny also. the prob is that they're both HUGE flirts. & when i say HUGE, i mean it. they flirt with every1 they talk 2!!! my ex-crush isn't a player but idk if the kid in my tech ed class is. plz help me!!!! i don't know who 2 like.

CheerChick013 on 9/6/2008 11:05:12 AM

there is this oh-so cute guy that is everything i dreamed of (lol) he's smart, (no kidding) not a geek, plays cross country is super frindly, gorgeous, and the only bad thing is.. that he doesn't really know me that well I mean to get his attention I look at him all day in class lol.. good thing nobody caught me.. but I say hi to him once.. a week or something.. but I'm too embarressed to talk to him, I'mmuch shorter than him.. and I feel.. just p lain ugly. Any advice? I really want him to atleast be my friend, but I odn't want him to think I'm weird.. and plus it's the 3 week of school.. ADVICE?

medina.star77 on 9/6/2008 12:14:30 PM

************MODERATOR***********************
My profile's been being moderated 4 almost 2 weeks now!! When will it be up??
************MODERATOR***********************
♥take_me_away♥




We're working on it sorry for the delay! 

♥take_me_away♥ on 9/6/2008 1:19:21 PM

medina.star77-
the longer u wait to become his friend, the weirder it will be. it's hard to change from almost totally ignoring a guy to being friends with him (trust me, something kinda like this happened last year to me) so don't start ignoring him. u have classes together so talk during/about class. it's weird to say hi only once in a while (again, I know from experience)... I mean, it's awkward for both of u. you just need something to break the ice... like if u sat next to each other in class or if the teacher says something really funny during class... then you'll have an inside joke.

M... on 9/6/2008 1:34:26 PM

MODDDD!!!!!!!
HELP ME PLEASE!!
Ok so me and this guy.... who ill call A, to protect his name, are going out and hes been acting differently now that wer going out because his best friend broke up with me and i was really depressed. I did things i wasnt proud of because of his best friend, and i dont want things to be awkward between us!! HELP!!




The best way to change an awkward situation is to confront it.  Thinking too much about it is not going to help.  I=Just act like nothing is wrong but if he is still acting weird I would just ask him about it. 

Julziez on 9/6/2008 2:10:53 PM

MOD
Ok iwas really proud of myself and so were my parents cause over the summer i lost 4 pounds and was eating alot better but now i've gained almost 8 pounds back now i'm 114 and im 11 and five four. Is it fat or mucscle bacouse i got president's or national on all of physical fitness on everthing but the mile and shuttle run?
PLEASE ANSWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Darbyakamimi




Don't pay attention to what the scale says.  Muscle does weigh more than fat so the numbers on the scale can be deceiving.   

darbyakamimi on 9/6/2008 3:01:07 PM

*****MODERATOR*****
i like this guy at my school but he doesnt kno i exist and he is out of my league. i want 2 ask him 2 dance at the next skool dance but is it worth the risk?




Don't ever think a boy is "out of your league".  Boys like girls with confidence.  If you want to ask him to the dance you should, if he says no, it's not the end of the world that's okay just be confident in yourself. 

mockingbird on 9/6/2008 3:05:06 PM

MOD
I have to clean my room on the first weekend of every month. I don't like cleaning my room. Do you have any ideas about how to make cleaning your room more fun or make it go faster?
Thanks!




Maybe get a good playlist going so you can listen to some good music while you're cleainign. 

monkeyinthesun on 9/6/2008 4:26:38 PM

The girl in the pic is adorable, she has really great features. It looks like she can realy pull off her style!

Clique_Massie on 9/6/2008 4:44:31 PM



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