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ADVICE | DEAR CAROL

All I want is some privacy

 
I don’t know why, but I’ve felt like I need to back-talk my dad because he has so many rules—and most of them don’t make sense. All I want lately is to be alone, but I never get any privacy.
 
Dear Going Crazy,
Your parents make rules because they love you. Feeling frustrated about it can be extra common during the holidays when parents and kids feel stressed over test-taking, present-buying and family reunions. Nevertheless, nix the back-talk. It backfires anyhow, right? Every so often, when your dad is shouting the same old rules, say, "I see your point," or, "Got it." If you act less annoyed, he might be less strict. A heart-to-heart might also help. Tell him how you feel without being sarcastic. Toss in phrases like, "I realize you worry about me because you care." Deep down, dads want to protect their daughters—not drive them crazy.
 

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BY CAROL WESTON ON 10/6/2012 12:00:00 AM

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My bff invited me to a sleepover today.I haven't been seeing a lot of her since we started middle school because we don't have any classes together, and she's made a lot of new, really popular friends.I really wanted to talk to her because another one of our bffs is moving this weekend, and I trusted her, so My bff invited me to a sleepover.Problem is, my parents said no.I've stayed at her hous maybe 6 to 7 times and she's stayed at my house a few times, but not lately.My parents say no a lot too.They say kids in America should listen to their parents because they were born in Africa.They're good friends with this girls parents 2!I tried to explain to them that I never get to talk to her anymore and that I need some time with friends since my other bff is moving tommorow, but they just get mad!I don't know what to do!!!!I'm crying because my other bff is moving , and I just need some happiness right now!What do I do?

 

hey! The tough truth of being a kid is that you can't get your parental units to do anything. You can however, try to open a dialogue with them about your feelings. Explain your side in a non-whiney, calm manner. Don't interrupt or get angry even if they interrupt you or get angry. That's unfair, but since they have all the power, it's in your best interest not to antagonize them. As in, you'll be more likely to get what you want if you are really, super mature. If they still say no, accept the decision gracefully. If they see that you're not going to throw a fit for not getting your way, they'll be more likely to listen next time you want something. good luck!  


Helen S.

by katniss50309 on 2/2/2013 2:52:33 PM

 
 


MOD MOD
So, I just moved halfway across the country, from Illinois to Oregon. I didn't realize that its the worst thing to do in middle school. I know no one and I realized now im showing my shy and quiet side, though at home I admit im loud and outgoing. Many people here are outgoing and to me the way I look and my name sound to me like someone who's outgoing. But, since im ubershy now I cant get myself to talk to someone, my mom once tried to help but I buckled ans couldn't do anything. I don't like banging around girls who are highly perverted and make everything a dirty joke, I accidentally hung around those people this year and instantly regretted it. I need help picking right friends and getting myself to talk to them... help!


 


 


 


Hey Girl! Look for people who are interested in the same things as you. Join a club or sports team. Friends are constantly changing, so keep our mind open.


Hannah H.


Hannah H.

by napstarr on 11/22/2012 1:00:37 AM

 
 



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Please help!
My one and only grandpa is dying of cancer at the very second. I haven't experienced anything like this before and I don't think I'm ready for it. He's in the hospital now, but the doctors said they can't do anything else or him.
I'm so mad and angry at the doctors because I want them to keep trying and I love my grandpa so much and I don't think I could bare to live without him because he's always been there for me.
In class I feel like I embarrassed myself because we had to write an essay on what we were doing for Thanksgiving and I read mine aloud and when it mentioned my grandpa, I just started breaking out crying and I asked to leave the room.
Please help! I don't think I'm ready for this to happen. I know he's gonna die, the worst part is I don't know when. How do I get over my sadness and stop my anger at the doctors and God for having him die so soon when I'm not ready?
Please help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Honey I'm so sorry that's happening to you. I know how you feel - losing your grandparent is always hard. Within 3 years i lost all of my grandparents and it was one of the hardest things I've ever dealt with. The only thing I can tell you to do is enjoy your time with him and really appreciate your relationship. Unfortunately there really is nothing you can do to stop the cancer but all you need to do is cherish your time with him. The heartbreak will get easier with time. I promise. Spend time with your family and be surrounded by love. xoxo kerra 


Kerra S.

by FaithPetrowski on 11/20/2012 5:20:32 PM

 
 

yes we need our privacy, I have a hard time when my parents dont think I need some. Meghan D.

by fashionqn on 11/18/2012 12:37:02 AM

 
 

HELP.....I just loss my mother to cancer and had to move in with my aunt.I like it here but its not home.For once I don't have space.They all like just walk into your room or they ask you about everything.(Even if you tell them no.)I am always getting into a fight with the youngest because she thinks everything i do and say is wrong.I try not to be rude because they took me in but I feel like I'm being smother with them all.How can I feel better with out hurting their feelings?

Hey girl,

I'm so sorry to hear about your mom! It sounds like you are being very grateful to them, but it will take some time getting used to. They also probably want to make sure you're ok. I would talk to a guidance counselor or teacher about everything you're going through, with your mom and with your family, to help you sort out everything you're feeling.

Meghan D.

by losslovelife on 11/17/2012 2:27:50 PM

 
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