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Dear Carol

My Best Friend Hits Me!

 

My friend is always saying things that make me feel dumb, and sometimes she even hits me.


She tells me I should hit her back or say something, but I don't want to.


-Hurt

Dear Hurt,
 

Tell her you don't want to insult her or hit her back-you'd like her to stop insulting and hitting you. If she can't, find friendlier friends by getting involved in a whole new activity, whether it's chorus, track, karate, Students Against Drunk Driving, the literary magazine, or being part of a bake-sale fundraiser or church car wash.


Want More Advice? Order Carol Weston’s Girltalk Fourth Edition: All the Stuff Your Sister Never Told You. It’s got the answers to all of your most important questions. So if you're looking for tips, quotes, advice, or just plain info about growing up, friends, boys, school, family stuff, substance abuse, or any problems big and small, check out Dear Carol's Girltalk or For Girls Only. They'll help you feel confident, inspired and energized!
 
SERIOUS STUFF? For serious issues, don’t wait. Visit our HELP! page now.
 
For more on Carol Weston, visit her website: carolweston.com.
 
Can't solve a catastrophe? Never fear, Carol's here! Just click SEND A QUESTION to get Carol's expert advice.

BY CAITLIN R. ON 5/29/2009 7:00:00 AM 105 COMMENTS

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105 READER COMMENTS

omg this happens like 24/7 at my old school!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

moonbeam on 11/4/2009 1:49:43 PM

hi

winneconnerocks on 8/4/2009 3:57:52 PM

OMG! Thank you for asking advice about this! My friend constantly hits me like I'm a stuff animal. I'm getting tired of it. She even does it for no reason at all.

Shadow_Angel on 7/26/2009 6:47:59 PM

I dont want to be mean or anything like that, but if your friend hits you, I dont think that is a friend. But you should tell her how you feel. And if you dont want to be hit while telling her this, text, call, or email her. I hope you and your friend work this out!

Miranda999 on 7/23/2009 12:05:16 AM

What kind of friend hits people?? I would say "If u want 2 be my friend, stop hitting me!" maybe she'll realize how she is being so mean. You should suggest talking about what she's mad about instead of having her take her anger out with violence...

Smile rachstouty

rachstouty on 6/29/2009 7:06:07 PM

hit her back stand up for yourself!! butt if it gets too aggressive you really don't need her

robertlover on 6/11/2009 3:38:16 PM

not a real friend at all trust me if she makes you feel bad about yourself then shes using you and u dont want to be used tell her how u feel and maybe she will stop but if she doesnt blahhhhhhhhh Smile

iluvryansheckler on 6/9/2009 3:06:55 PM

Ok Girlie,
You need to talk to this chick! I know you don't want to, but if you don't you will be stuck with this kind of behavior! Next time she says something mean or hits you, say ,"Listen I like being your friend, but it isn't so fun when you are putting me down, and hitting me. Please stop."If she doesn't stop here maybe it is time to find some new friends.

AND TO EVERYBODY I AM CURRENTLY GETTING MODERATED, BUT WHEN I FINISH, I LOVE TO GIVE ADVICE SO PLEASE LEAVE A PROBLEM ON MY PROFLIE FOR ADVICE

unique_gal on 6/9/2009 11:54:53 AM

MOD MOD MOD!!! i have wavy brown hair that is sholder lenghth and i dont know what to do with it (i have bangs and layers)i wanna get it cut or find a good way to put it up...i pretty much wanna change it thanks

 

Hey girl, try doing low side buns with braids to give a sophisticated and chic look. If you're looking for some inspiration for that hairstyle, look up Taylor Swift, Selena Gomez, or other young stars that are rocking the up do look.  <3 Jeannie

Jeannie L.

bloo on 6/7/2009 6:39:46 PM

Wow I never knew that friends could do that until my neighbor began to fight for know reason. She'd always want me to fight her family and my brothers and it was out of force. I couln't take it anymore. So I talked her about it she didn't want to stop so I ended the friendship that we had since kindergarten.

twinklez34 on 6/5/2009 5:48:44 AM

o im soo srry i wish you luck
<3 always

kcgkcg on 6/4/2009 4:29:38 PM

my friend marina smacked me hard in the face one day i know what you mean but back to my point we got into a big fight and i broke her nose and she fractured my wrist which waz good 4 me B/C she is about twice my size now she has iss almost every day and we can not talk so the best thing is to tell her u don't appreciate it other wise this may happen to u B/C that wasn't the first time she hit me

bridoll on 6/4/2009 1:34:13 PM

I have a "friend" like that too. But i cant not be her friend because my dad is dating her mom. So i cant not be her friend. I have told her to stop but she wont.She takes advantage of me and its annoying. HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!

katie2121 on 6/3/2009 9:40:32 PM

mod mod mod mod i really need your help today my crush asked me out and i just kind of walked away and then this girl said that i wanted to kick his balls and now he hates me

 

Hey girl, first of all, wlking away probably wasn't the best idea. Also I'm not quite sure why you would want to walk away from your crush like that. Anyhow, you have to go talk to him and tell him how you feel to make things right. Not only that, but you'll also have to tell him that you didn't say anything that would offend him. It's not going to be easy because he's probably not in the best mood, but you're going to have to keep trying so that there isn't any misunderstanding.
<3 Jeannie


Jeannie L.

alexandra Oxford on 6/3/2009 5:36:34 PM

MOD MOD MOD My profile used to be visible, but its says it being moderated, and it has said that for a few days. Now it isnt visible. Why is that?

 

Hey girl, until your profile/comment is approved it isn't visible to others. There might be a back-up on the profile modding so we ask for your patience. Thanks!
<3 Jeannie


Jeannie L.

Japanesegirl101 on 6/3/2009 5:33:35 PM

I think u should just tell her to back off, and avoid her for a few days to let her realize how mean she is being. If she doesnt stop, get a new friend.
My ex best friend used to be mean to me, talk behind everyones back, make fun of me, and point out all my flaws in front of everyone(like my hair, clothes..). I hated it!! Now guess how we are now? We barely talk and she hangs with other people, and so do I. Everyone says shes nice. So I guess she fakes it or she has changed. Hopefully she has changed.

Japanesegirl101 on 6/3/2009 5:14:35 PM

my friend does the same thing but sometimes wen i just get fed up i get angry an cuss her out not the best thing to do it worked a little, but its not like i didn't tell her that i didn't like what she was doing before

khadeejah on 6/3/2009 4:03:08 PM

I REALLY NEED HELP!!! I LOVE TWILIGHT just like evry other girl but I think I'm addicted. I have even resorted to doing really wierd things and twilight is in my mind 24/7. Please Help!!!

TeamEdward4Ever on 6/3/2009 1:10:52 PM

i did many times...he still doesnt get the picture......

americanidoltwilightfan101 on 6/3/2009 12:39:08 AM

**********************MOD***********************MOD***************************
I have noticeable facial hair, and I want to get rid of it for good. Any suggestions?? It is kinda embarrassing for me to talk about, and I know people have seen it. Please help me ASAP.




Hey babe, it's totally normal. Check out this page: http://www.girlslife.com/post/2009/04/02/fixing-upper-lip-hair.aspx 
katelin s.

NYCBdancer on 6/3/2009 12:28:51 AM

Mod!
thanks for the guy help, but i've already told him many times i dont want him to be my bf, and i do like other guys, and he gets jealous and doesn't bug off....no one really understands how i feel and can help me...my friends think im being shallow...is this a healthy relationship? HELP!




Just tell him you're not interested. That's all you can do. 
katelin s.

americanidoltwilightfan101 on 6/3/2009 12:22:21 AM

MODMODMOD!!!!!
help!!! i have a problem....is this healthy or normal? can i fix this? help!! i'm only 17!! help!!!!




Hey babe, sorry I had to edit this in case some people found it offensive. But it is somewhat normal and many women do experience this.  
katelin s.

americanidoltwilightfan101 on 6/3/2009 12:07:20 AM

MOD!!!!
i think i have a stalker...there is a guy who asked me to homecoming after i danced with him as friends in the spring...weird? nd now he wont leave me alone!!! he always flirts with me, and makes me feel guilt by acting like he's my only friend..its weird...i already clearly said i dont want to date him...he doesnt understand...help! is this healthy even?




Hey babe, he prob just really likes you. Let him know that you're not looking for a bf and that he has to back off. Tell a teacher if he gets worse with it.
katelin s.

americanidoltwilightfan101 on 6/3/2009 12:01:57 AM

my bff, grace did the same thing but i found a new friend and told her if she wanted to be my friend she would stop Frown so obviously we stopped being friends for a while but she went to counsouling so we are back to being bff's!Smile Smile Smile Smile

jamie10212 on 6/2/2009 10:16:33 PM

How do I go on a group date without my mom knowing?

popstargal21 on 6/2/2009 8:44:40 PM

wow... that is totally NOT a true friend. you deserve way better than that. no 'friend' should ever make you feel bad about yourself, or hit you! but like most girls i would tell her off, aim for her face and hit her. hard. im not usually a violent person but ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!

hope i helped even a little tiny bit...

check out my profile and leave comments Smile

i.miss.jenny on 6/2/2009 7:35:00 PM

i had a friend like that and i just told her to stop and she did! now we a better friends!

<3jesusfreak<3 on 6/2/2009 6:34:03 PM

**mod!
some of my friends want to get a spray tan, and some want to go tanning at a salon..what exactly are they? and whats the difference? thanks so much <3

 

Hey babes,  A spray tan is kind of like getting a painted on tan and a tanning salon is when you get a tan from artifical uv rays.  Honestly if you really want a tan don't go to a tanning salon its not really that safe.  Try Jergens lotion they have it for fair, medium and dark skin and it tans over a week or two and looks way more natural.  XO Lori

lori S.

soccerhottie45 on 6/2/2009 5:38:23 PM

hey it's the 1 n only famous totally awesome Hannah Montana! If ur a fan u can email me at hannahmontana431234@gmail.com
P.S. don't forget 2 comment my profile! Smile

HannahMontana431234 on 6/2/2009 4:36:11 PM

me and my friends hit each other ALL the time. it's quite fun actually. we don't do it to be mean, it's playful but it hurts... lol
we also hit r bgf but not as much.
anyway, i don't really think it's that bad that she hits u. lots of people do that to there friends and she just might not know that u don't like it.

ImAStrangeChild on 6/2/2009 4:12:24 PM

wow thats tough sorry
-Jenna(Head of Family & Friends, ask me for advice!)

_xojennaxo_ on 6/2/2009 3:00:37 PM

I have a friend that does that same thing I just made new friends

NinaB147 on 6/2/2009 2:26:32 PM

MOD MOD
My bf asked me out yesterday and today I'm all scared too have even the smallest convo with him. What should I do to get over this?

 

Hey babes,  Just go for it! Ask him about himself, what he's into, how his day was.  XO Lori

lori S.

Popstargal21 on 6/1/2009 8:39:26 PM

find better friends ones that dont hit or insult you

partygirl09 on 6/1/2009 6:37:55 PM

Hey Babes, You may be posting comments that are too long they may not be getting through.  Try shortening them and re-posting.  XO Lori


 

 
lori S.

Sarky3 on 6/1/2009 5:41:08 PM

I feel the same way too. sometimes my friend will just say things about my appearance, or how i act that make me feel a little uncomfortable. You can always tell her how you feel, and if she keeps doing it, then shes not being a good friend. You shouldn't hit her back. A good friend will care about how you feel, and not be judgemental toward you.

smiles!!:) on 6/1/2009 12:50:05 AM

mod,
why isnt my icon showing up?? it was 2 days ago, but it isnt now. its not bad or anything. its just weird that it's always worked fine. maybe its cuz i just updated my profile??

 

Hey babes,  If your icon was a pic or you, your fam, or something not suitable for the site it may have been removed.  Try posting a new pic and see how that works.  XO Lori

lori S.

serafinasunshine23 on 5/31/2009 10:52:22 PM

thx cara t!

serafinasunshine23 on 5/31/2009 10:39:58 PM

if you read this, you will be kissed by your true love on the nearest monday, but to make this come true, u must post this message on three other things besides this one Smile ... lol captcha = bogus

cece23 on 5/31/2009 10:18:05 PM

OMJ!!! i have a "friend" just like this! I started standing up for myself and now she doesnt pick on me as often!

hCullen on 5/31/2009 9:28:05 PM

I think you should tell her to stop or even stop being her friend, she might be thinking that it's ok for her to be hitting you, and besides what kind of a friend would she be if she hits her friends. You should tell you parents or even her perents. If the adults give you any advice go with it no matter what, and your welcome! -Wezi T.
known as gracerocks123

gracerocks123 on 5/31/2009 9:10:47 PM

MOD-
can u get skin cancer from too much exposure to the sun?

 

unfortunately yes. please put on sunscreen lotion before doing any outside activity.

Jeannie L.

peace.out.☺. on 5/31/2009 8:44:22 PM

hmmm thats kinda rude. . . . checkout my profile irlies!!!!!!!!!!

morganshines on 5/31/2009 7:33:36 PM

How could you be friends with someone like that?

gladiator*girl on 5/31/2009 7:18:16 PM

Hey i have a friendship like that but on the last day of school i'm going toto tell her off. They problem is that she will try to pick a fist fight. How can i tell her that i dont want to be friends with her anymore nicely?

bella1234a on 5/31/2009 7:09:37 PM

Hey!

I have a question. Do you know where to find Clique Girlz Karaoke tracks? I've looked....can't find any!!

Also I'm sad to be leaving my class. I totally love everyone in it. I'm afraid next year I'll be with people I'm not fond of and the work will be ALOT harder!! Help!!

sophiag97 on 5/31/2009 7:02:50 PM

Thanks for answering my question but what do you mean they'll be answered later?

Karina

twilightchick53 on 5/31/2009 6:32:39 PM

MOD MOD
how do you keep a relationship good over the summer, while ur at your dad's in alaska while he's in michigan?

 

 

Hey Girl

 Constant communication via internet and phone will help . Good luck. <3 Jeannie

Jeannie L.

popstargal21 on 5/31/2009 6:17:51 PM

MOD MOD MOD
A friend of mine had a profile and then we were trying to get on it but there is no profile??? it was club mod girl. even the comments she posted on my file are gone. what happened? did we put something wrong on it? thanks Smile
Karina

 

hey girl

 All problems concerning profiles will answered later i am really sorry. <3 Jeannie

Jeannie L.

twilightchick53 on 5/31/2009 5:36:31 PM

-Mod!
during this dance my twi best friends(ones a guy well call him c and the girl o) and they were mad at eachother. except c didnt know and o told me not to talk to him. but he looked so sad so i talked to him and everyone said i was flirting because i was like screaming at him cause he was like *tell me! tell me!!!* what should i do?

 

Hey Girl

Dont think about what other people think or say. It is not important and they will forget about it sooner or later. <3 Jeannie

Jeannie L.

sammyk115 on 5/31/2009 5:22:25 PM



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