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Ask Lucky

Mom Shares WAY Too Much

 

My mom recently told me she is going to leave my dad after I graduate high school. She said she doesn’t love him anymore and thinks marrying him was a mistake!


I wish she hadn’t told me this. I guess I should accept it, but I’m still freaked out.


Is there anything I can do to calm myself?


Wow – too much information. No wonder you’re freaked. It’s great for moms and daughters to be close, but adult probs should not be dumped on kids’ shoulders. Now that you know about your mom’s plans, though, you have to deal with the bummer situation you’re in.


First, let her know you don’t want to hear any more of her negative feelings about your dad. If she feels the urge to spill her guts again, recommend that she speak to one of her friends instead.


Second, I suggest you talk to a school guidance counselor or other adult you trust so you can air your feelings. That’s way too huge of a secret to carry around by yourself.


TELL US NOW! Need advice ASAP? Click the purple SEND A QUESTION button to ask our very own Lucky for help!

BY CAITLIN R. ON 6/18/2009 7:00:00 AM 120 COMMENTS

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120 READER COMMENTS

relayou need to breath try to get your mind off the subject

pinky016 on 9/19/2009 10:06:25 PM

mod
i have lately been in fights with my mom a lot. this is going to sound a bit odd, but i think i fight with her because i don't get a tona attention. my mom thinks parents shouldn't spoil their kids, and they should let them cope. so i say mean things, i let myself get frustrated easily, i even used to cut myself to get her attention - it never wokrs (she took me to therapy, the therapist said nothing was wrong, and she totally dropped it, not realizing it's till a problem), and i always end up feeling horrible about the things i say. but mom doesn't let me appologize. i try to talk, she just slamms doors and doesn't listen. so i have to problems: how can i get my mom to notice me? because every good grade, every win in sports, every time i tried to kill myself, it was all to get her attention. and two, how do i appologize to somoene who desn't beleive u're sorry?

 

Hey girl, looks like you're in a really tough situation. First of all, don't push yourself to get your mom's attention. Let your mom appreciate you in her own terms. If you try to get her attention on purpose, she'll resist more to your efforts. As for the apologizing, you just have to try again and again until she sees your sincerity. Not only that, but also try not to do things that make you apologize for a while because that will only worsen the situation. <3 Jeannie
Jeannie L.

666#666 on 7/5/2009 5:26:18 PM

wow. im really sorry about that. that would be terrible and scary for me to hear, too! i dont think it was right of ur mom to tell u this when u probably wouldnt want to know, anyway. but if ur still troubled about it, the try talking to one of ur friends about it. maybe they'll know what could get ur mind off it or something! again, im sorry that happened and i hope this helps! and dont let this one little bump in life stop u from having fun!

Smile ;) Frown BP

SpriteRox on 7/1/2009 10:29:12 PM

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD
Smile HEYY
hi again....... me!!!!!!! anyway i told her that the other day actually! Then today she said that we were going to an art fest with him up where he lives, and and I almost busted!!! IDK what to do anymore

 

Hey girl, there are tons of posts that MODs read everyday so it's hard to remember what you asked us before. If you give a short summary of your previous post, I'll be happy to help. <3 Jeannie
Jeannie L.

obamafan1-29-2009 on 7/1/2009 7:42:29 PM

MODMODMOD
I ASKED HER THAT THE OTHER DAY AND SHE WOULDNT SAY ANYTHING! WHAT SHOULD I DO SHOULD I TELL MY DAD? THX 4 THE ASTRICK

 

Hey girl, if you think it's right to tell your dad, go for it. However, you should approach your mom again, because this is an issue that affects the entire family. <3 Jeannie
Jeannie L.

obamafan1-29-2009 on 7/1/2009 7:36:35 PM

MOD MOD
NEED THIS ANSWERED ASAP
MY DAD WENT TO *(CAN U ASTRISK THAT WHEN YOUPOST THAT) AND MY MOM EVEN THOUGH HE IS STILL IN HAS A BOYFRIEND AND MAKES US GO PLAVES WITH HIM LIKE NEW JERSEY AND STATE COLLEGE PA WHERE HE IS FROM AND WHEN MY DADDY CALLS AND ASKS WHERE WE ARE AND WE LISTEN TO HIM AND MY MOMS LIKE DONTE TELL HIM LET ME TELL HIM BUT SHE NEVER DOES IDK WHAT TO DO

 

Hey girl, this is a really serious and sticky situation. What you want to do is to talk to your mom. She's the one causing the problem so ask her why she's doing this and that she can't expect you to lie forever. See what she has to say to defend herself. <3 Jeannie
Jeannie L.

obamafan1-29-2009 on 7/1/2009 5:02:27 PM

Hey sorry about your parents. I know how you feel.

CapeMay03 on 6/30/2009 10:41:33 PM

RUDE
MEAN
DECIEVING

Why are moms like that? not to brag, but moms (like mine) care about their KID's needs, instead of their own.

istylista on 6/24/2009 11:43:33 PM

the COOLEST club on this site are happy to help with ur stickiest sitches! the club also comes with:
quizzes
games
chatting
lots of fun
and MUCH MUCH more!

so what r u waiting for?
JOIN!

leave a comment on my page if u want to!

-Anna

annarose4ever on 6/24/2009 10:44:49 PM

Wow. idk wut 2 say about that! it;s so sad Frown
Check out my profile and comment!!
luv, hugs, peace

dancechick7496 on 6/24/2009 10:25:16 PM

that's what happened to my aunt and uncle. i haven't told anyone this but im glad they got divorced cuz i never really liked my aunt and now my uncle seems soooo much happier and i get to see him more.

eki_dancer13 on 6/24/2009 10:23:09 PM

mod mod mod mod mod
please help theres this little girl who is 7 and wants to hang out with me and my bff she comes over every day and asks even when she has friends over! i've told her in a nice ways and mean ways and just not answered the door when she comesover!
the worst part is she's mean and slaps us HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!







Hey girl, you have to take charge of this situation and let her know that you can hang out with her at times, but you have the right to hang out solely with your friends without he interference. You might think it's mean, but you have to clearly tell her this. If it doesn't work, let her know through your actions. Don't let her slap you and avoid her. Go to your friend's house for a while. <3 Jeannie
Jeannie L.

obamagirl18 on 6/24/2009 7:45:50 PM

MOD!
My mom told me she wants to divorce;it would be best for her, but best for the family if she doesn't. Help! I feel so stressed and my parents keep arguing. But I can't tell my siblings 'cause they'll freak and I don't want to make it bad for them too.

 

Hey girl, this is a decision your mom and dad has to make. They'll take into consideration what's best for the whole family. There's not much you can do. However, you can comfort your siblings and your parents in this time of trouble. <3 Jeannie
Jeannie L.

defhrhorses on 6/24/2009 6:16:16 PM

MOD!~ For some reason I missed my last period cycle and my next one is supposed to be coming up, but I'm not experiencing any of the usual PMS signs I get (I get PMS bad). I know for sure I'm not pregnant and I haven't lost weight. Do you have any idea what's wrong, I'm starting to get nervous.

 

I wouldn't worry too much.  Your period can be irregular especially at your age!  If you skip another cycle maybe tell Mom and see what she says.  She may want to take you to the doc just to make sure everything is peachy keen!

Brooke E.

Sky Blossom on 6/24/2009 12:02:51 PM

im sorry 'bout ur 'rents...must be pretty tough...my mom doesn't share that much info with me best of luck

cats_r_the_best on 6/24/2009 9:11:22 AM

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD
okayy how do u kno if ur in love?? i mean i have a boyfriend, and i really really like him. but how am i supposed to know if/when i love him??




Hey babe, I don't think there's a real answer other than you'll just know. Trust your instincts! 
katelin s.

cheeringbandgeek4life on 6/23/2009 10:15:14 PM

*****MOD***** I have black little spots on my nose! What are they? And How can I get rid of them?? Please Help!!!!Frown




Hey babe, 

These are probably blackheads, which happen when your pores get clogged up. The best way to get rid of them is to exfoliate and then squeeze the spot until it pops. It's gross but effective. To prevent blackheads use a cleanser every day!

xoxo Allie
Allie S.

PerezRockPrincess on 6/23/2009 8:23:11 PM

hey i'm sorry to hear that it must be really hard for u to like not tell ur dad!!! Frown Frown(

COMMENT ON MY PROFILE!!!!! Tong Laughing Smile ;)


emerald-girl18 on 6/23/2009 11:05:01 AM

***MOD*******MOD********MOD*
I REALLY want to get a cell phone, but my mom says that I don't need one. She says that I can call people from the home telephone and that texting is the same as e-mailing. Any advice?




Hey babe,

Unfortunately, until your mom thinks you're ready, there's not much you can do. What you CAN do though is try to help convince her a little faster. Make a list of all the reasons you think you really need a cell phone, and try to make them ones that really appeal to moms! Like in case of an emergency or if you get separated from her  somehow. Make it clear that you know it's not just for texting your friends! Apart from that, all you can do is wait, but don't let it bother you. You'll get one eventually and then you'll forget there was ever a time when you didn't have one! ;)

xoxo Allie
Allie S.

twizzler_girl456 on 6/23/2009 10:06:03 AM

You should tell her u don't feel comfortable with her sharing this much info with you. Sorry you have to go through this!

MeganBlueEyes on 6/23/2009 1:05:07 AM

wow that's tough news. that happened to my cousin before. first calm yourself down by counting to 10 and remembering all the good memories. privately talk to your mom and ask her why she is breaking up if u wish. then talk to your dad. but accept the fact. but your parents should pick the right choices for you. bets of luck!
-Smasheroo

Smasheroo on 6/22/2009 11:29:53 PM

OMG i know how you feel my parnets have been separted since i was 7 (right after christmas!!!) but after time you get use to it but your mom should NOT tell you those things!!!!you need to tell her to stop telling you this info Smile
>3

graceygirl77 on 6/22/2009 7:45:23 PM

thats horrible i feel so bad for you and your family, but dont worry, i've been through a parental divorce and although it hurt, its easy to get over. try to talk to both parents if they do split up, and dont let it get to you.
it must be tough to have that secret on you, but take that advice, its amazing and will probably help soo much.
(:
hope i helpedd ask for advice whenever

foreverohever on 6/22/2009 7:08:09 PM

that is harsh. but you should talk to someone about it. you can't keep that secret to yourself.

cutielola19 on 6/22/2009 6:32:49 PM

that sucks girl your mom should not be dumping this on you

swimsweetie234 on 6/22/2009 11:05:35 AM

hey girlies you should check out Bernard the Bear on YouTube! He's a really funny polar bear! Each episode is only 3 minutes, but it's worth it.
And there are a TON of 3 min episodes!

Just wanted to share the really funny Bernard series! When you watch it, please comment on my profile and tell me what you think then!


The very first Bernard episode I watched was Bernard - The Gym.
That one's one of my personal favorites. And he always ends up in some accident one way or another


More info: Bernard is a polar bear. He often gets in fights with a small penguin in each episode. And, of course, he always ends up in an accident of breaking something. It's a total animation video, and not real-life stuff. It would be funny if it was, though.

What do I think about it? That Bernard is a very, very, VERY, unfortunate polar bear.

newmooner99 on 6/21/2009 10:42:51 PM

hey can you please comment on my profile im new and just joined today and i have very few comments Smile

newmooner99 on 6/21/2009 7:28:29 PM

MOD MOD MOD MOD 
Ok so this is really random and gross..anyway my room constantly smells bad and i am not sure what the cause is. what can i do to make it smell better???

 

air fresheners in your room that plug into wall outlets are great because they are always spritzing good-smelling stuff into the air. ask your mom if candles might work, too!

Katie P.

morgan on 6/21/2009 4:50:15 PM

Ok so this is really random and gross..anyway my room constantly smells bad and i am not sure what the cause is. what can i do to make it smell better??? Katie P.

morgan on 6/21/2009 4:22:36 PM

Yikes. My parents would sometimes do that when steamed at each other in arguements.
The main thing is to tell them in a polite way that they need to stop telling you these secrets.
Laughing

Sleuthgirl101 on 6/21/2009 3:53:43 PM

HEY PEOPLES!
ARE YOU IN CHARGE OF A CLUB ON GL?
DO YOU OR YOUR VEIWERS HAVE TROUBLE LOOSING WEIGHT?

COMMENT ON MY PROFILE FOR MORE INFO! Smile

popmusic on 6/21/2009 3:41:05 PM

well my parents got divorced when i was 3 so ull get used to it well then again i was three so it really didnt make a difference cuz like it was different like i didnt grow up with my mom and dad living together butta yea

sportychick52 on 6/21/2009 2:47:59 PM

omg... my mom was kinda like that too. Kinda unsure... but it may happen. =)
I feel for u thou...

avrilgirl8888 on 6/21/2009 1:40:58 PM

i am sorry about your rents

hunny-puff87 on 6/21/2009 12:13:20 PM

WOW that is way to much info for a teen to handle

hunny-puff87 on 6/21/2009 12:11:44 PM

MOD MOD MOD!!!
Ok, so I used to like this guy, but he turned out to be a complete jerk, and he took advantage of me. Now my BBFL likes him, and I don't want her to get hurt like I did. I've already told her to watch her back, but I don't know what else to say to her, without her thinking I'm jealous! He's treating her EXACTLY the way he treated me (Really nice at first, then one day randomly turns)!!! HELP!




Hey girl, it's great that you're looking out for your friend, but unfortunately if she doesn't listen to you, then she's going to have to learn the hard way about this no good guy. I would suggest sitting down and talking to her one more time, saying something like "I know you really like him, but from my experience he was really rude and not nice. I'm telling you this because you're my friend and I don't want to see you get hurt." If she still wants to give this guy a shot, step back and let her learn. Just be there for her if she gets hurt, and whatever you do, don't pull an "I told ya so" - she'll need you to be understanding, not gloating. Good luck, girl! ~Alexa
alexa e.

jbo225 on 6/21/2009 10:37:35 AM

My mom and dad always argue and stuff. It gets REALLY bad. Our house has thin walls and i can hear everything so i always turn up my itunes but i can still hear them. about five years ago i got really sick for like two months and the doctors said i wasn't physically sick, i was just worried so much about my parents getting divorced that my mind made me sick. After that they promised they wouldn't break up. But when they argue they always say how they're gonna leave the other. And i hate myself for saying this but nowadays i sometimes wish that they WOULD break up, i just don't want to have to listen to them argue anymore.

srs1367 on 6/20/2009 11:33:01 PM

Mod!!!!!!!!!
I have A problem........I love, really love this guy but hes my sisters bffs bro!!! I think he like me but I'm alsofrienss with his sistter. Do I go 4 it??!!!thx!!!!
Love
Heather




Hey babe! In this type of situation, I would say that it's best to talk to your sis and her BFF first to make sure that they're comfortable with you going after her bro. I know it's tough when you really really like a guy, but things can get a little sticky when it's a friend's bro. 

<3 katy  
Katy J.

M&msgrl6 on 6/20/2009 10:59:51 PM

my parents are divored after a while youll get over it dont worry everything will be alright!(hopefully) my dad doesnt like my mom becase it was his 3rd divorce but still your be fine!

nsingergirl33 on 6/20/2009 10:50:55 PM

This sounds exactally like this episode of Friends I say.That rlly sucks. Maybe she will change her mind.

evil_pixie! on 6/20/2009 9:39:38 PM

ur mom isnt truly a good mother. i'd say forget about ur mom. she doesnt know whats best.

Shellster128 on 6/20/2009 1:18:36 PM

-----MOD-----
I have my middle school graduation and graduation dance coming up on monday. I want to wear makeup but I don't have any and I don't know what to get. My dress is light green and sparkly. Do you have any suggestions of what I could buy? Also, how do you put on eyeliner? Lastly, do you have any ideas of how I could do my hair? I want it to be wavy because it is naturally pin straight. I would put it in a bunch of braids, but I have to go to school first and that would look kind of funny. And I don't want to wear my glasses to graduation because I think I look better without them. I can see fine without them, but do you think I should wear them or not? Thanks!!! <3




Hey Girl, The trick with makeup is to not wear too much, you just want to enhance your natural features so try some light blush, mascara and eyeliner, and maybe a shimmery eye shadow. And try curling your hair with a curling iron and shake it out so it has the naturally wavy look. *Cara T* 
Cara T.

Sadulin4495 on 6/20/2009 12:57:47 PM

hey I have a club........Club fashion and advice pls comment bak on my prof for more details we need a vice pres, head of sticky situ. advice, and head of fashion. pls comment back for application fr any of these! If u just want 2 be a member 2 thats fine and I will gie all members monthly updates on the club! For more deets go 2 my prof in the healty you prof. Thxs,
Morgan K.
(morgan98)

morgan98 on 6/20/2009 10:40:08 AM

That sounds so selfish of her to say that to you. But maybe she was just on a mood where she wasn't thinking. If she say it again tell her she should think before she says anything. If my mom told me that I would feel so terrible.

luckykel on 6/20/2009 10:19:31 AM

wow, I think your mom should not have told you that, her telling you that was pretty harsh, but you should talk to someone about it, if you don't talk to anyone about it, it'll drive you crazy.

cutielola19 on 6/20/2009 9:18:10 AM

this is really sad...i hope there's a way to make it better! Smile

laneyloo on 6/20/2009 8:15:26 AM

im sorry about your parents...Must be hard ,My parents are divorced to though , so i guess im used to it. uuhm maybe ur mom said that so you wouldnt be as upset after your graduation , lol i dntkno .

Later Peoples <3

Maddyrox92 on 6/19/2009 3:46:49 PM

im sorry about your parents...Must be hard ,My parents are divorced to though , so i guess im used to it. uuhm maybe ur mom said that so you wouldnt be as upset after your graduation , lol i dntkno .

Later Peoples <3

Maddyrox92 on 6/19/2009 3:45:51 PM

ha, well at least you mom tells you!!
i hear my mom telling her friends that she doesnt love my dad anymore,(she even cries and says "what do i do??") but she doesnt want to ruin the "family relationship" if they divorce. i feel bad for her cuz she has to act all happy around him but inside she doesnt love him. all to make me and my brother happy.

dancechiky456 on 6/19/2009 1:36:32 PM

Wow. I would of started crying. You do need to tell someone. I don't even know your parents and I feel so bad with that situation. I feel so bad for your dad. That's hard, I am so sorry. Keep your head up. Everything will get better.

sweety_pie10 on 6/19/2009 12:16:59 PM



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