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Allie S.

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Dear Carol

Do I Keep My Sister's Secret?

 
My 15-year-old sister ran away.
 
I know where she is, but I'm afraid to tell because I don't want to get in trouble.
 
-Confused

Dear Confused,


Some girls rat on siblings to get them in trouble. You'd be speaking up to get her out of trouble. I understand your not wanting to squeal, but think about revealing her whereabouts to a parent, counselor, clergyperson, relative or some other trusted adult. If she is in danger, you could be saving her life. There's a chance that even she will realize this.
 
Want More Advice? Order Carol Weston’s Girltalk Fourth Edition: All the Stuff Your Sister Never Told You. It’s got the answers to all of your most important questions. So if you're looking for tips, quotes, advice, or just plain info about growing up, friends, boys, school, family stuff, substance abuse, or any problems big and small, check out Dear Carol's Girltalk or For Girls Only. They'll help you feel confident, inspired and energized!
 
SERIOUS STUFF? For serious issues, don’t wait. Visit our HELP! page now.
 
For more on Carol Weston, visit her website: carolweston.com.
 
Can't solve a catastrophe? Never fear, Carol's here! Just click SEND A QUESTION to get Carol's expert advice.

BY CAITLIN R. ON 6/19/2009 7:00:00 AM 168 COMMENTS

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168 READER COMMENTS

tell
if not then think about how worried your parents must be and your sister.

sparks431 on 8/16/2009 6:34:59 PM

u should tell ur 'rents where she is.

hgorton on 7/31/2009 10:19:28 AM

i'd tell them in case she is hurt or something

greenbud on 7/30/2009 12:22:52 AM

sweetie i know its going to be hard to tell but try to atleast write a note to a trusted adult on where she is .

Sakura2 on 7/28/2009 9:56:46 AM

MOD! my friend and i are going to run away. probably to somewhere near alaska ( i live in nc) and i told one of my other friends. she got all upset and said we are going to get ourselves killed and this is so stupid. but its not. my friend has a very good reason for running away that i cant share, and i have to go with her. now my other friend who is not going says she wont talk to us anymore. i have already decided to forget about her. before we leave we are packing only the necaseties and destroying our cell phones so the government cant track us down. i have already decided that i am doing this and nothing can change my mind, but what should i do about my other friend. i think she hates me.

 

Hey girl, I know running away with your friend might seem like your only choice right now but its not!  Your friend is probably having some big issues with her family and as her friend your doing all you can to support hey, but running away isn't the answer!  Support your friend instead by encouraging her to talk and work it out with her family!  I bet in time all problems will be solved and you'll be happy you stayed for your own family and your very concerned friend!

Brooke E.

writing+the_fray+twilight=mylife on 7/13/2009 12:36:00 PM

I think this is a tough sitch for you...But, if you're sister could be in great possible danger, you need to tell your parents. She could be kidnapped and bad things could happen. If I was you and anything happened to her, I would feel repsponsible for not telling someone. This is serious. Tell someone, an adult, about her and hopefully everything will be okay.
I wish you and your family luck and hope everyone gets along after all of this.
I'll be praying for your family.
With love,

PK<3

pkrox13 on 7/3/2009 6:51:31 PM

yes tell! r u kidding? ur sis might be mad at u at first 4 ratting her out but think about. a while from now u will know that u just might have SAVED YOUR SISTERS LIFE!!! and i think thats pretty darn important. hope this helps!

SmileSmileSmileSmileSmileSmileSmileSmileSmileSmileSmileSmileSmileSmileSmileSmileSmileSmileSmileSmileSmileSmileSmileSmileSmile

SpriteRox on 7/1/2009 10:40:28 PM

Sorry girl that is a very scary situation
but i would defintly tell
she could be killed

i know i would not want to be a rat but this is serious

luvohiostate on 7/1/2009 11:31:12 AM

MODMODMODMODMODMODMODMODMOD!!!!!!! Please help!
I think that one of my friends since 1st grade (we're going in to 7th) is bi! Everytime we got together she always does really pervy things and she NEVER let's go of me! My cousin also said that she had a sleepover with my friend and my friend tried to take off my cousins pants! I told my mom and now I feel horrible. What do I do?! Please help!!!!




Hey babe,

This might just be your friend's sense of humor. It doesn't sound like she means it to make you uncomfortable. Talk to her about and see what she's thinking. Explain to her that you don't really like it and that you'll support her if she is bi, but that you'd rather know. Having an open conversation about it is always better than talking about it without the person you're worried about!

xoxo Allie
Allie S.

Emmaroo42 on 6/29/2009 11:51:51 AM

That is so sad! I feel for u. That is not tattletailing u told because u love her

samigurl on 6/27/2009 4:51:37 PM

That is so sad!

samigurl on 6/27/2009 4:48:39 PM

Wow hun, that's a tough situation. But I think you should def tell your parents. You could be saving your dear sister's life! Even though you probably promised that you wouldn't tell, it is the right decision. Your sister will thank you in the long run!

horse16023 on 6/25/2009 11:35:49 PM

Hello Im New Here...
And i think you should tell...because you care for your sister i hope and if you do care you should telll

Elaine1994 on 6/25/2009 10:37:09 PM

hey people i am new to this and i need a little help

kaykay4life on 6/25/2009 10:06:23 PM

hey.. i think u should tell your parents... good luckSmile

merbonnie14 on 6/25/2009 5:02:29 PM

hey girlies!

it's really hard when people run away. this boy in my class ran away. it was all over the news and everything. it was wierd because we had growm up with him and he didnt seem like the type of person to run away.

oliviat2014 on 6/25/2009 3:17:58 PM

WOW!!!tht must be hard if my sister ran away i would tell for sure just for her safety!

massiekur(: on 6/25/2009 3:04:08 PM

you shouldnt keep your sisters secret something could happen to her if you dont know if you should tell your parents ask yourself these ?s do you want her to get hurt ,raped or even killed ?

ehager on 6/25/2009 2:59:48 PM

TELL TELL TELL

twilightgirl/taylorfan on 6/25/2009 1:13:31 PM

Wow! Das ist erschreckend! Ich hoffe, dass sie gut ist!

erinbee2014 on 6/25/2009 12:47:56 PM

Wow! Das ist erschreckend! Ich hoffe, dass sie gut ist!

erinbee2014 on 6/25/2009 12:46:54 PM

Wow!, dass erschreckend. Sie wirklich jemanden um erzählen sollten, dass weil Ihre Schwester in großer Schwierigkeit schon sein darf.

erinbee2014 on 6/25/2009 12:45:10 PM

Wow, hard situation..
But the best thing you could do right now is what Carol said. Tell a trusted adult where your sister is. Whether or not it's your class teacher, or anybody. Right now you could be saving her life, and if she IS in danger, then she can thank you for that Smile

TT08 on 6/25/2009 10:26:18 AM

Wow, hard situation..
But the best thing you could do right now is what Carol said. Tell a trusted adult where your sister is. Whether or not it's your class teacher, or anybody. Right now you could be saving her life, and if she IS in danger, then she can thank you for that Smile

TT08 on 6/25/2009 10:25:05 AM

HEY GIRLS!!!
If you guys want to get the BEST advice on GL, come to my profile and leave your questions!!! I will answer ASAP!!! Thanks!
<3Lj

bruinswimmer13 on 6/25/2009 10:09:45 AM

*******MOD******** Please help! Lately I've been getting mad at people for no reason! Like they would a simple question and I would answer badly.and i wasn't like this before but now all of a sudden I am filled with rage.like 4 days or 3 days ago I was really nice and sweet but now I'm just angry and I don't know why and I don't want to be angry please help!Frown

 

Hey Girl, it sounds like maybe its just PMS or maybe your stressed out and dont realize it yet so thats how your kind of taking it out on people. *Cara T*

Cara T.

PerezRockPrincess on 6/25/2009 12:07:02 AM

Forget about your sister's anger.
Think about H-E-R!

istylista on 6/24/2009 11:40:10 PM

the COOLEST club on this site are happy to help with ur stickiest sitches! the club also comes with:
quizzes
games
chatting
lots of fun
and MUCH MUCH more!

so what r u waiting for?
JOIN!

leave a comment on my pace if u want to!

-Anna

annarose4ever on 6/24/2009 10:43:53 PM

THANKYOU JEANNIE!!

fanohim on 6/24/2009 9:09:28 PM

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD
Well, I have a problem.
The neighborhood I live in isn't a good one. There is drug dealers and ppl on crack and stuff. I wanna move badly, even though I love the house even though I don't have my own closed room(I have no door)
I brought it up with my mom while we were watching Oprah and then she was all like,"Nicole, you have not been hurt..." and stuff like that(the list goes on).
She makes me sound like I'm selfish. I mean, what should I do?
P.s. Plz don't post my username thanks

 

Hey girl, unfortunately, the decision is up to your mother because you don't have the control to move at a young age. However, you can continue to try to convince your mom with the facts and why it's a bad neighborhood. And even though you didn't get hurt now, let her know that there can always be a possibility and that you want to be safe. <3 Jeannie
Jeannie L.

fanohim on 6/24/2009 8:10:35 PM

ommmm tell what if somthing happeded toher

caitlinrocks07 on 6/24/2009 5:37:51 PM

wow that is really scary i would tell my parents if i had any siblings cause i wouldnt want them to get hurt

iluvu on 6/24/2009 4:59:06 PM

mod
thanx!

nikilover101 on 6/24/2009 3:52:44 PM

MOD:
ok well im 13 and my 18 year old sister still lives at our house. i was in her room today looking in one of her dresser drawers for a pair of pajama pants to wear at my bff's sleep-over. when i was looking in the drawer, i found what looked like a pipe and drugs laying next to it. im pretty sure that's what it was cuz the drugs were in little baggies and smell terrible! im really worried about my sister. should i tell my parents? how should i approach this? and i am also almost sure that she has smoked it in our house before cuz i remember a morning about a week ago and the house smelled terrible(the same as the drugs). and she didnt kno that house smelled bad cuz she lost her sense of smell in a car accident a few years ago.

 

Hey girl, this is a serious problem and a problem you should let your parents know about. Of course you don't want to be considered a taddle tale or anything of that sort, so just quietly approach your parents and tell them what you suspect. Ask your parents not to mention you into this matter because you don't want any drama for yourself. It's going to be hard, but the use of drugs is a dangerous problem that can not only affect your sister's health, but also her security. <3 Jeannie
Jeannie L.

this♥little♥girl on 6/24/2009 3:42:40 PM

Thats a hard situation. Definatly tell someone you trust or try to talk her into coming home.
MOD.. ***
my best friends dont really like my boyfriend so much, which is really hard cause all of us always hang out together so it gets a little weird, is there any way to get them to like each other more?
Thanks




Hey girl! 

Try organizing a "date" for your friends to get to know your BF better. You all can go see a movie, go bowling, go out to dinner, or just hang out at your house or at a park - there are tons of options out there to choose from! Their issue could be that they just don't know him yet, so this is the perfect opportunity for them to get to know him better. They also could be jealous that they have to share your attention with him, so make sure to plan girls nights as well as date nights with your BF. 

<3 katy 
katy j.

xofe-feox on 6/24/2009 2:53:28 PM

This is such a funny story okay well whenever I get mad at my family I'll pack a bunch of bads and bring my house key then ill go put the bads in the garage and go for a bike ride till i cool down my temp a lil maybe thats what your sis should do

raindropt15 on 6/24/2009 2:53:22 PM

hey you should realy tell your parents were she is maybe she's not safe she made a mistake but will not get in trouble your parents if anything would miss her so much she wont get in trouble please listen to me!!!!!!!!!!!!

kasibear on 6/24/2009 12:54:49 PM

Wanna join the Future Model Klub? Well head on over to my profile to get deets!

princess_peach_98 on 6/24/2009 11:29:10 AM

MOD!!MOD hi um thanx 4 doing this how do i get rid of black heads?

 

The best thing to get rid of black heads is HEAT!  Take a nice, steaming shower to open up the pours and watch those blackies disappear!  Also, remember to wash your face ALWAYS when waking up and going to bed!

Brooke E.

nikilover101 on 6/24/2009 1:01:58 AM

she would do the same thing if u ran away
she would turn u in
so u should turn her in

littlemiss139 on 6/23/2009 10:22:35 PM

Omigosh that's really tough. My heart aches for you. But I think you should tell, it would help your sister in the long run.

xoxo
animal_lover119

animal_lover119 on 6/23/2009 9:56:51 PM

i would definetly tell your parents. you love your sister and even though it may seem like youre ratting her out you also are protecting her. If anything was to happen you would want your parents to know

bubba_gjm on 6/23/2009 9:19:20 PM

i would totally tell - something bad could REALLY happen

cats_r_the_best on 6/23/2009 8:37:08 PM

Dear Confused, you and your family are in my thoughts.

hannah lolgirl on 6/23/2009 8:27:58 PM

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!scary!

twisterchic on 6/23/2009 7:55:53 PM

away how do ur parents like not know she is gone?

wntw319 on 6/23/2009 7:16:49 PM

Oh my I would definetly tell your mom or dad she could get hurt!!!!!!!! How long has it ben since she ran away? I hope she has some money with her so she can eat and everthing.

Morgansbluebullet on 6/23/2009 5:00:13 PM

omg that is horrible u should tell a parent or a legul gardian

player456 on 6/23/2009 3:47:29 PM

Hey Girls! I give realy great advice and LOVE to help people if you need advice on anything post a comment on my profile ill help day or night. Ive helped my friends through losts and i can help you to!!!


When life gives you lemons make apple juice and sit back while the world wonders how you did it!

scouty on 6/23/2009 3:38:02 PM

that is a though sitch. but if u r worried about her and think telling sum1 is the right thing, then u should just talk to your parents and try to make them understand your point of view. tell them that you know where she is, but think maybe your sister knows wat she is doing and will possibly return when she is ready too, becuz if she is forced home, its really only gonna make things worse, like on george lopez! that episode where carmen runs away but then when she comes home she didnt really learn anything.

luv,
kRiStEn<3 =)

cheerprincess28 on 6/23/2009 3:24:01 PM



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