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Ask Lucky

Don't Shy Away

 

I am a very shy person and whenever I am around people that I don't know, I tend to keep to myself. It gets worse, however, whenever I try to talk to a guy. Then my face gets bright red and I can't control it.


I need to find out a way to fix that because I think that if I can't control that or if I am not able to talk to a guy, I won't get a boyfriend, as pathetic as it seems. Even if that can't be helped, I would like to hear some tips on how to speak to other people to make new friends, possibly.


It's reasonable to think that if you can’t keep up a conversation with a guy for three seconds without stuttering you will never get to experience the wonderful teen dating scene. You can’t conquer these fears, though, by continually sticking yourself in uncomfortable and potentially embarrassing situations.


Start with something that will make you more at ease. At a party hang with a girlfriend who is always in her element around boys. Let her do most of the talking and jump in when you feel ready. Watch what she does and says so that you have some ideas when you venture out on your own.


Don’t jump right into an intimidating situation, such as a one-on-one conversation with your crush. Instead, seek out boys who you aren’t trying to impress. It takes time to gain the confidence necessary to converse easily with the opposite sex so give yourself time. Besides, sometimes a little shyness can be intriguing.


TELL US NOW! Need advice ASAP? Click the purple SEND A QUESTION button to ask our very own Lucky for help! 

BY CAITLIN R. ON 6/25/2009 7:00:00 AM 107 COMMENTS

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107 READER COMMENTS

what is mod




Hey girl, mod is moderator. On GL, we mods answer all your Q's. So whenever you have something you wanna ask us, post your comment with MOD MOD MOD on top. It's basically a shoutout that'll get our attention. Hope this helps, girlie!

xoxo 
Alyssa B.

xenobia on 8/20/2009 10:45:31 PM

I dont think u have 2 do anyhting,in fact some guys think its cute when a girl blushes. U sound like me shy around ppl but outgoing around ur friends. Just be who u r some guy will make a move fr u im sure of it! Smile

AlaZa on 8/8/2009 9:21:41 PM

Sometimes you have to take a deep breath and just put yourself out there. It's not like the world is going explode. Just be yourself! You don't have to start out with long convos. Just a hi and a smile can be good to start out with. Next time you talk to somebody, maybe you can have a bud come with to ease things up a bit. Hope this helps!

Band_Geek13 on 7/27/2009 11:07:47 PM

omg im so shy plz if anyone has anymore help tell i just moved to a new school and it seems like no one wants to be my friend HELP

iggylou on 7/21/2009 7:52:07 PM

why be shy be your self

pop12789 on 7/20/2009 12:45:24 PM

mod
i need hel;p making friends. i have a few friends but im not very close to them. i always want to hang with my younger brothers and thier friends but i also want to make my own friends. my mom always encourages me to get out there but im not exactly popular so some people dont really want to be my friend. i find people who i think are my friends but then i invite them over and they act all weird and different. they act like themsevles because they dont have to pose for the popular crowd but i already was friends with the person who they wernt. I joined teh swim team and i went to camp but there was no one there from my school. is there any ways to meet new friends that im cofortable around?
thank alot

lnm1996 on 7/18/2009 2:02:42 PM

yeah im pretty shy to people before i get to know them but i just moved and i want to be less shy so i can meet new people haah

impossiblyfallen on 7/16/2009 1:21:28 AM

MOD!!! I have always been a fairly calm and quiet person and over the last year at school I lost some confidence and everyone at my camp thinks that I never talk but I do how should I become less quiet before school starts? Thanks so much!

 

Hey Girl, you just really gotta focus on who you are and remember to just be you as easy as it sounds but it works, and try hanging out with your besties more to boost your confidence! *Cara T*

Cara T.

BlueOcean96 on 7/8/2009 9:38:40 PM

yah i am shy too....... around guys but wen im wit my friends im a loudmouth Smile its kinda nice to know sumwon else that doez that

soccerhottie9 on 7/8/2009 7:56:10 PM

Do you feel like you have a "label" in school? Expand your interests and talk to people who seem to be into the same things.

sk8r_punk_x3 on 7/8/2009 2:28:45 AM

~MOD~
I'm a very shy person. I do have the confidence to talk to boys but when I'm around people I don't know, I feel like crying and I have to breathe hard to ease me up but sometimes I have Trouble breathing from doing so. Any tips?




Hey babe, it's ok to be a little anxious when meeting new people so just remember to relax. Try to take a deep breath and just concentrate on being confident and showing the new people who you are. You don't have to be their bffs right away so just go with the natural flow of the conversation and you will be fine! 
katelin s.

ToasterDylanMarvil on 7/6/2009 11:33:06 PM

wow that the complete opposite of me hehe

hey chicas come check out my profile

partygirl09 on 7/6/2009 5:57:13 PM

I am always shy! I never used to be but now im extremely shy! I am always known as "the quiet one" and its really annoying. And when i do talk, people are always amazed and it just makes me not want to talk. I talk alot when im around my friends though. Im trying to talk up more but i just never know what to say. Its hard...

ValeriieeBrooke x99 on 7/2/2009 10:12:13 PM

its ok girl, sometimes I feel the same way. Here is some confidence builder: there is this boy that I have liked my entire life and I think he has liked me forever to but I always was real nervous around him.... expecially alone. But one day I finally told him how I felt about him and he told me he liked me to. I was so relieved.... and that was 3 months ago, And we are still HAPPILY 2gether. So give it a shot. You might get what you like

sweetbrandy14 on 7/2/2009 12:39:41 PM

MOD
THEN HOW DO YOU DO A MESSY BUN FROM THERE=SORRY 2 BE A BOTHER

 

Hey girl, after you've tied it, pull the tie outwards a bit. That will loosen the grip of the hair tie on your hair, creating a loose bun! <3 Jeannie
Jeannie L.

obamafan1-29-2009 on 7/1/2009 8:32:31 PM

MOD
HOW DO YOU DO A BUN?

 

Hey girl, just gather all your hair and keep twisting it. When you do that it wil naturally curl up and then just tie it so it doesn't come down! <3 Jeannie
Jeannie L.

obamafan1-29-2009 on 7/1/2009 8:11:55 PM

MOD
I TOLD YA ABOUT MY MOM AND DAD SITCH BUT THE THING IS THAT I ALREADY(ITS ON THE MOM TELLING THE GIRL THAT SHE IS LEAVING HER DAD PAGE) AND I DID THAT IDK WHAT TO DO I TODAY I ALMOST TOLD HIM I M SOOOOOO SICK OF IT!

 

Hey girl, what is your heart and your brain telling you then? What options do you have left? You already told your mom, you're sick of it all, then what's next? What else can you do? When you answer this question, you'll  know what to do. It's up to you whether or ont you want to tell your dad. Not mine or anyone else's. <3 Jeannie
Jeannie L.

obamafan1-29-2009 on 7/1/2009 7:56:38 PM

MOD
HOW DO YOU DO A MESSY BUN? WHAT IS IT?

 

Hey girl, just make a bun and after that, loosen it up by pulling on it. <3 Jeannie
Jeannie L.

obamafan1-29-2009 on 7/1/2009 7:47:57 PM

I used to be shy, but I opened up more.

nerdykitty97 on 7/1/2009 6:34:37 PM

MOD, I have a question?
you know the contests on the side of the web pages? Well how do we know if weve won anything? I know you'll get a hold of us or something like that but how do we update or information on that if we did end up winning something?
LOL I think that makes sense?
But yeah, can you help?
Please and tyvm.
(thank you very much)
-Joycelyn(:
(chiicajoy24)

 

Hey girl, if you win a contest, we'll contact you so don't worry about updating your information. We also post them up on the "Winner" section next to the "Contests" tab. <3 Jeannie
Jeannie L.

chiicajoy24 on 7/1/2009 4:42:15 PM

MOD MOD MOD!!! when i am around a boys in my school or anywhere i get totally shy and mostly don't talk a all and sometimes i think that they think i am wierd. so i need help of how to talk to boys. any advice?

 

Hey girl, the only way you'll be able to talk to boys is by your own self-motivation. No one can force you to talk to guys and you just have to do it naturally. Otherwise, they might not feel comfortable talking to you. <3 Jeannie
Jeannie L.

camii_rox_ur_sox on 7/1/2009 1:28:22 PM

i was super shy until i realized that on the inside we are all the same and there's nothing to be shy about.

lovemybff111 on 6/30/2009 10:53:29 PM

hey, you're not alone on the face-turns-bright-red thing, trust me my frieds tell me i turn the color of a cherry!! especially when im around guys. but i learned that they more you talk and ask questions the more comfortable you become with new people, and guys ;) ..and dont think that guys dont blush either trust me..they do, i can tell you from a lunch experience, not my fave moment with my guy friend...

passion=dance on 6/30/2009 7:56:13 PM

MOD
yesterday i had a horseback riding lesson and halpway through my lesson i started feeling weird and then my vision went blurry adn spotted so i stoped my horse everything went black next thing i know my instructor is pulling me off my horse she carryed me and put me on a mounting block i passed out again for only a few seconds then woke up again i went and sat at the barn for the rest of the lesson and had someone watch me i felt really weak ans shaky my instructor says i have low blood sugar cuz i dont eat much(im realy small like im 13 and im 70 pounds)but im just now geting it. i was so scary and i felt so bad. my instructor said i passed out and was falling off my horse i feel alittle better today but im still not 100 percent myself s and i was wondering if it would be ok to ride my bike liek i usally do (i usally ride 7 or 8 miles) but im afriad i might pass out again what should i do?




Hey babe,

You should definitely take it easy for a few days! Try not to go outside in the heat too much and don't do too much physical activity. Riding your bike can be even more strenuous than riding a horse so it's almost definitely out of the question. Eat some food that will help get your blood sugar up and make sure you keep healthy!

xoxo Allie
Allie S.

scouty on 6/30/2009 12:42:52 PM

I would always get shy of meeting new people. But when i met this boy i didnt know wut to say and i wuz staring at him for a long time!! He laughs at me alot and now i got over my shyness! So im just goin with the flow. =}

jennyks on 6/29/2009 10:27:05 PM

Thats exactly how i am.

guardgirl95 on 6/29/2009 5:42:16 PM

HEY GIRLS!!!!
This is bruinswimmer13, runner of the BEST advice service on GL! Check out my profile to leave you advice questions, and check out the WEEKLY NEWS while you're there for FIT TIPS, RECIPES, and more!!!! Thanks!
<3Lj

bruinswimmer13 on 6/29/2009 4:41:00 PM

check out my profile and comment

supersweetie563 on 6/29/2009 4:06:57 PM

I am very shy too, but around everyone unless i'm used to being around them, and that is why everyone i know thinks i'm really quiet and won't talk to me much.

robin'seggblue on 6/29/2009 12:52:40 PM

MOD- one of my friends at school said i freeze up around my crush/es and when she said that i realized she was totally right. can you help me to try and loosen up around my crush/es? when they're around i can't really talk to them because i'm afraid i'll do something really embarrassing. thanks!




Hey babe,

Try not to focus on them so much. If you see your crush take a deep breath and then start talking to someone else who makes you feel comfortable. If you're being yourself they might even start to get to know you and want to get to know you better!

xoxo Allie
Allie S.

Sydney on 6/29/2009 12:50:31 PM

Mod mod mod
I keep sending in ?'s but I never get anwsers to any of them!!
Am I being ignored or what!!
Plz tell me!!




Hey babe,

We absolutely never ignore you girlies! sometimes we get backed up or are not able to get to every question at once. We also might have deleted your question because it was inappropriate for the site. You can try asking again if you still haven't gotten an answer in a day or so. Thanks for being patient!

xoxo Allie
Allie S.

Jesstar08 on 6/29/2009 11:46:29 AM

Mod mod mod
I really want to get a facebook! My dad keeps saying I have to wait till I'm older but I'm 14!!
Why do u think he won't let me?




Hey babe,

The internet can be a really scary place, especially for a dad who might not have grown up on the internet and who is worried about his daughter's safety. Try explaining all of facebook's safety features to him - like how you can set it so only your friends can see your profile - and let him know that you're aware that you shouldstrangers on the internet. Other than that, the only thing I could think he's worrying about is that you'll spend to much time on the site! ;) never talk to

xoxo Allie
Allie S.

Jesstar08 on 6/29/2009 11:44:34 AM

im like this too! but im not quite that shy around guys. but im pretty shy. if im not with my friends or family i dont say much. but i have had a few boyfriends. its easier to talk to them if your texting but you cant just text them. you gotta talk too. it gets easier with time. and i like my guy friend and i used to be able to talk to him really easily cuz i only liked him as a friend but now that i like him i get really shy around him. and its kinda awkward cuz i told him i like him and he likes me too but that was the last week of school and he didnt want a gf over the summer cuz hes really busy. but were still friends. and it was hard to tell him i like him. i was sooo nervous but on the day me and my last bf started going out he asked my how long i had liked him and he says "i really wish you had told me sooner" and i remembered that so i just went for it. ya just gotta be strong. Smile

novemberbaby164 on 6/29/2009 11:10:00 AM

Hey girls this is a poem i wrote tell me if you like it
What happend
I used to wonder
what you thought of me
i used to wonder
if you would b there for me
but now at night i cry
wondering why
you hate me
so now i cry at night
wishing we didnt fight
but a wish wont do
i really just need you

what happend to what we used to do
just me and you
hanging around
laughing till we where on the ground
but all thats gone now



scouty on 6/29/2009 8:36:30 AM

*MOD* Can you give any tips on how to get fit around my apartment? I live on the top floor, and it's so isolating if you know what I mean. It doesn't have to be major. I just feel so lazy

 

You live on the top floor but is there a vacant roof you can work out on (of course with Mom's permission first)?!  If you have a little space there are TONS of exercises you can try!  Check out this link to get some good ideas http://www.girlslife.com/post/2009/06/25/Six-Moves-to-Fit.aspx!

Brooke E.

definenormal on 6/29/2009 12:57:26 AM

I'M JUST LIKE THIS...GIRLS ARE FINE 2 TALK 2 4 ME!UNIL A BOY COMES AND TALKS AND THEN I'M SOO QUIET....SO ANNOYING BUT GOIN 2 HIGH SKOOL. NEW SKOOL NEW PPL SO HOPEFULLY I CAN RESTART AND NOT B SHY ANYMORE!
~M1LK$H@K3~

jessicaop on 6/28/2009 5:43:30 PM

I used to be just like that but then at the begining of last year i became friends with a very outgoing person and she became my bff and now we are always loud, crazy, outgoing, and most importantly not shy!

dancechick7496 on 6/28/2009 5:40:22 PM

hey girls my profile isnt awesome but i relle do give good advicce ssoo check it out!!!

beachbabi3o0o on 6/28/2009 10:42:02 AM

Plz help okay well some kids in my class were planning an 8th grade prank and i guess im 1 of those people u can trust well a couple kids in my class did this thing were they sent around this fake text saying sumthing about the prank well 1 of my best friends told the teacher about it and i told her what it really was, just a decoy she got really mad @ me!!!!! she said how could i not trust her and said it was a stupid prank and hung up on me b4 she hung ^ i said theres a pretty good example of why we couldnt trust her and i just want 2 know should i apologize?

Brownie7877 on 6/28/2009 3:13:46 AM

when i was in the 3d grade i was over extreme shy but when i got in the 4 th grade there was a boy and he used to make fun of me because i was really quitethen when i got in the 6 th grde i saw him again and i wasnt as shy anymore and e actually was nice
comment me
comment me
cmment me comment me thnx

lucy24567 on 6/27/2009 6:47:10 PM

yuppers i turn red pretty easily too. it sucks but whatevs some guys think it's cute haha

megabegabyte on 6/27/2009 1:20:14 PM

hheeeeyy girls check out my profile i really dont care about the profile but look @ the comment i left im gonna do my first mix next week so look out 4 it!

SUPERCAT4 on 6/27/2009 10:28:16 AM

~~~~MOD~~~~ PLEASE HELP!!!
I am going to be in 8th grade this year and I am totally syked! I currently have been going to this private school and now a public school. when i visited i just totally loved the atmisphere and the fact that i didnt have to wear a uniform and now i get to wear wat ever i want pretty much! Any way i am a shy gurl to but once i get to no someone i am fun and more outgoing. i still cant wait for school but can you give me some advise for the first cople days on how to cope and how to make friends? i am not worried how to meet guys cuz that is the least of my worrys i just hope it goes well when i am trying to make some new friends. My mom says ill do totally fine with it and that she is sure the girls will be very nice to me since i am new. Hopefully that is true but can u give some more advice?!? sry this is so long!




Hey babe,

The best way to meet people, even if you're really shy, is just to smile! Even though you don't feel comfortable talking to people first, having a big smile on your face will help people feel comfortable talking to you. Good luck!

xoxo Allie
Allie S.

hawaiigurlie531 on 6/26/2009 8:38:25 PM

mod
i REALLY want a cell phone and i have one picked out. but im not sure if i will use it alot. because i wanted an ipod and got it but i didnt use it that much. an only some of my friends have them so i dont have alot of people to text. so what do i do? do i really need one?




Hey babe,

If you don't really need one don't get one. They're expensive and some can break easily and your parents won't be happy if you spend all that money on something that you break or don't use!

xoxo Allie
Allie S.

madicadaby on 6/26/2009 8:07:29 PM

i used to be shy but i am not anymore because if you ever see a cute guy and you don't talk to him ur definitly going t regret it!!! u can do it!!

mizzou on 6/26/2009 6:07:15 PM

OMG that must suck
sandbash000 on 6/25/09 5:05pm

sandbash000 on 6/26/2009 5:04:44 PM

OMG i get really shy around guys to
its terrible i start to blush and my
face gets so red !!!! SO EMBARASSING

sandbash000 on 6/26/2009 5:02:33 PM

hello??? why won't my comments show up???

cutielola19 on 6/26/2009 1:53:11 PM

I am shy, too. I try to suck up the courage to talk to people. It won't be as bad as you think.

cutielola19 on 6/26/2009 1:51:42 PM

Girl i have the same problem and trust me i have been there. when a crush of mine talks to me or compliments me i get really red and he just smiles at me. he knows i like him but it can be really embarrassing so he tries to make me feel comfortable.

so good luck girl!
-nickjonaslover011

nickjonaslover011 on 6/26/2009 11:53:54 AM



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