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The Problem is Me!

Such a sweetheart!?

 

I don't have a backbone and I know it, but now it's starting to catch up with me. Everyone says that I'm so sweet and wouldn't harm a fly. If I talk about doing something tough they always laugh. And I'm TIRED of it.


How do I get more of a backbone?


Hey girl,

It’s a great thing that people think of you as a sweetheart and genuinely nice girl, but of course it can be tough when people don't take you seriously when it comes to standing up for yourself!


Let your friends know that you love being known as the nice girl but at the same time you have another side too—which means you need to be respected when you say NO to something.


If something bothers you, speak up; don’t let it slide. Even something small, like your friends wanting to go out for sushi when you’re so not into it. Nicely suggest doing something else. “Hey guys, I’m a li’l sick of sushi, how about we try a game of bowling instead? I heard there’s fun music on Friday nights!” Offering your unique opinion plus a fun reason is a surefire way to get your friends to understand ya.


Remember, having a backbone doesn’t mean you necessarily have to be mean. Be firm, be fair, be honest, speak up and stick to your opinions. Your friends will be sure to catch on quick and see a whole new side of you!


-Cara T.

ARE YOU THE ONE CAUSING ALL THE DRAMA? CLICK HERE to submit your own problem to be answered on Girl Talk!

BY CAITLIN R. ON 7/27/2009 7:00:00 AM 95 COMMENTS

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95 READER COMMENTS

1. Say your name 10 times.
2. Say your mom's name 5 times.
3. Say your crush's name 3 times.
4. Paste this to 4 other quizzes. If you do this, your crush will kiss you on the nearest Friday, but if you read this and do not paste this, then you will have very bad luck! SEND THIS TO 5 QUIZZES IN 143 MINUTES. WHEN YOU'RE DONE PRESS F6 AND YOUR CRUSH'S NAME WILL APPEAR IN BIG LETTERS ON THE SCREEN. THIS IS SO FREAKY BECAUSE IT ACTUALLY WOR

crazyskater15 on 11/25/2009 4:56:06 PM

There are definatley situations that call for asserting yourself.
The next time your friends say that you don't have a backbone, tell them that you don't want to come across as mean, but you really do have your own opinions, whether they are nice or not.
The most important thing to do is to is to be straight up with people instead of sitting in the background being trampled.
Hope this helps!
ky Smile

ky :) on 10/1/2009 4:47:36 PM

MOD
i have the same clothes from 7th and 6th grade and im going into 9th! i want new becasue they are worn n stuff but if i get rid of my stuff, i cant get more! i dont want crappy stuff




Hey, Girl! Sorry for the “stock”  message. We’re psyched you’re here but since this is a super busy time, mods aren’t able to answer personal advice or contest questions. We’re approving your comments now so the girls can start offering feedback right away! If you still have questions, please come back, we’re happy to help…or just let the other chicas answer now! (They give awesome advice, trust us!) Love and thanks! , Your Blog Patrol Babes  
alexa e.

happyhamsters! on 8/19/2009 7:13:06 PM

nmmn. i think that wwell, u need2 stand up
check out my profile , thanks

happyhamsters! on 8/19/2009 7:10:32 PM

i am really nice to and i have trouble saying no when people need a favor unless its like totally crazy lol. plz check out my profile Smile i give advice

cheergurl132 on 8/13/2009 1:02:15 AM

my friends tell me that i hav no backbone all the time. it drives me crazy. but wen i try to act tougher they laugh at me. i totally get where ur coming from.

twilightgirl1997 on 8/12/2009 5:30:59 PM

Good for you gal, for being a sweet girl. I can relate in a lot of ways. I'll do almost anything for anyone. You need to learn to say no sometimes, and also that saying no is alright. You're friends won't get mad at you for it. If they're any sort of good friends they'll be perfectly alright with it.

Rin on 8/12/2009 2:52:26 PM

U sound like me my friend skno im not the type of person who would even harm a fly but they kno when i say something I MEAN IT! All i do is put on a striaght un-emiotional face and say: I'm dead serious . . . But i dont have 2 do that any more Laughing

AlaZa on 8/9/2009 9:18:58 PM

It DOES get annoying. Everyone knows me as the "Too Nice" girl, the one that gets embarrased easily, the shy smart one. Its so annyoying, right?

fashionsweetie96 on 8/9/2009 9:55:24 AM

mod-mod-mod
so whenever i try and tell my bff that i dont like how shes been acting or what she said she tell me im being a b word today and she would ask me why and then i get so mad and i dont know what to do
i mean i dont yell at her or anything i just try and act normal! help me please i dont no what to do

sweetlyssie13 on 8/8/2009 3:04:09 AM

do something tuff without telling anybody you are going to do it. keep doing that, and then people will think ur tuff stuff

madster101 on 8/7/2009 3:32:43 PM

Thats me in a nutshell

grace765 on 8/5/2009 5:12:59 PM

You only TALK about being tough.Smile Why can't you just be tough?Smile Be yourself!Smile

I_luv_devin on 8/1/2009 8:57:23 PM

heyy all u girlys!!! Come and chek out my profile!!!!! Soooo yeah.....CHEK OUT MY PFOFILEEE! thanks!

callaway4ever on 8/1/2009 2:42:40 PM

MOD!!! ughhh i just took a shower but latley my shampoos that i use are just not cutting it Frown
what are some ingredients in shampoos that i should look out for?

catnap28 on 7/31/2009 9:38:42 PM

same.

but im only the "good girl" to the boys, even tho im NOT! I dont want to be a good girl but i dont want to be a bad girl (u know what i mean). my friends think im brave, strong, and adventurouse.but guys think im goodie, sweet, and down 2 earth. even tho they say tht as a com., i really want to show my inner self to them and just be me for a change.

teenqueen115 on 7/31/2009 8:16:56 PM

JOIN CLUB DANCE!!!













IT'S ALL ABOUT YOU!
















AND DANCING OF COURSE!!!!!Smile












JOIN TODAY! JUST CHECK OUT THIS PROFILE

Club *xXDANCEXx* on 7/30/2009 5:21:05 PM

MOD! sorry to bother you again but where is the contests link? i don't see it. lol




Hey girl!  The contests tab is under Fun Stuff.  Best, Kristen
Kristen Y.

Ladyvols2726 on 7/30/2009 2:04:26 PM

i can sorta relate.my friends seem to think im the good girl.its annoying.but i dont let people push me around.

trackc107 on 7/30/2009 1:35:15 PM

MOD!
I have a question. How do you know if you won a daily giveaway? I'm just curious. Please answer! thanks =]




Hey girl, all daily giveaway winners are posted up online on the "winners" section next to the "contests" link. <3 Jeannie

Jeannie L.

Ladyvols2726 on 7/30/2009 1:22:19 PM

Hey Girls


Are you interested in getting a pen pal or making friends on gl .com.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you said yes than visit the friend club.

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Also i am looking for some ppl to help me mathc up friends!!!!




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The friend club on 7/30/2009 12:16:17 PM

Why r u so bothered? If being sweet is ur personality then be sweet the only person stopping u from being what u want to be and who u really r is urself.

lovemenot on 7/29/2009 10:10:51 PM

Actually, it's a good thing that people don't think you can be tough! It makes you that much more threatening when your serious.

bustarhythm on 7/29/2009 5:01:54 PM

aww dont worry everyone goes through it!

Fleur Weasley on 7/29/2009 4:50:57 PM

awwwFrown

Fleur Weasley on 7/29/2009 4:47:04 PM

join rugby and break somebody's bone... that's a fast way to be not tough and u wont' even know the person so...

hazel_hottie on 7/29/2009 3:10:54 PM

OMG I have the same problem!!!!!!

treezr4hugging on 7/29/2009 2:19:33 PM

Yeah I kind of know how you feel xx

English_Rose on 7/29/2009 1:04:15 PM

but... their really good friends and I am glad they think I am so nice

dancergirl987 on 7/28/2009 11:25:43 PM


sometimes my friends are like that... it can be frusterating


BTW!!
comment on my profile girls!!!!!!!!!!

dancergirl987 on 7/28/2009 11:25:05 PM

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD !
My Friends Grandmas Birthday party is tomorrow ! I was wondering what would be a good out fit to wear ? I do not want to wear something too dressy , but still party like, and summery.
I was thinking about wearing a strapless dress, but is it too much ? And what are some accesseries , and hairstyles ? Thank you sooo much! And pleeeeassse answer veeerrry sooon ! I need to know by tomorrow !




Hey, I like cute, casual summery dresses. I think the strapless would be fine. I'd go with dangly earrings and wear your hair half-up, half-down or add a side braid.
katelin s.

facebooker1240 on 7/28/2009 11:04:16 PM

MODDDDD!! MODDD!
i have broken many boys hearts beacuse i want this one guy my best friend..i told him. he responded saying he wanted to take it slow we should just be friends and what happens from there happens! well now i am off his top friends and he wont message me back or return texts or calls!! WHAT DID III DO WRONG?? should i just go afte a differnt guy and tell another guy we shou;d go out? But this guy isnt just a friend he was a best friend of 6 years!!! i think it is slowly turing to love....or is it friendship i am falling for? id know what to do. i almost just wanna cry.the sad part is i think i knowi can NEVER have him.. but people tell me all time he likes me too.n should i have never told him? DIDi ruin our friendship? or is he scared too? PLEASE HELP PLEASEEE!!!!!




Hey babe, who knows, guys are so confusing! I would just talk to him and ask what's going on. If he said to take it slow then he seems like he was on-board with the relationship as well so just talk it out and see what happens. 
katelin s.

rockerchick1997 on 7/28/2009 10:15:49 PM

that happens to me a lot. when i said i was going to hold a snake on a class trip everybody just laughed and said "really?" they think im not tough but i am. im also really shy but im trying to be more outgoing.

Check out my profile!

colorgal on 7/28/2009 8:33:06 PM

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*ClubSong* on 7/28/2009 7:52:41 PM

Mod !
Hey !
I have really hairy brows ! It's accutally embarrasing ! I was brave enough to ask my mum , and sahe said yes ! I am nervous about getting them done ! Do you think I should ? Does it hurt that much ? And what is the overall result ? I read the artical " Bushy Brows" it didn't really help ! I hope you can ! Thanks




Hey babe,


It's waxing, so it hurts a bit, but not that much and a professional will shape them so they suit your face and that natural shape of your brows. Once you get them done once you can pluck them back into that shape yourself on your own, so, yeah, I recommend it

xoxo Allie
Allie S.

facebooker1240 on 7/28/2009 7:09:45 PM

MOD
im tired of wearing my hair in pony tails i cant wear braides how else can i wear my hair up some fun way?




Hey babe,

Try a bun or try pulling just the top layer of your hair back.

xoxo Allie
Allie S.

avr4407 on 7/28/2009 5:23:18 PM

I was the same way. to fix my problem I stood up for myself and said "I am not just a sweet heart I need you to respect me and not treat me like a sweetheart all the time."


Just dont try to do anything tough or mean just to prove that your tough when you believe you so will everyone else

cuteygirl337 on 7/28/2009 12:57:44 PM

don't worry peeps! if some1 messes with u tell um 2 buzz off! nvr let anyone walk all over u ur to good 4 tht!

HippieGurlPeace on 7/28/2009 12:15:59 PM

when i was 5 i was like that. but now i show my rep of being tough.
CHECK OUT MY PROFILE AND COMMENT

sammyk115 on 7/28/2009 9:58:02 AM

Mod
I really want to get more clothes and go shopping! I went thru my old clothes from last schoolyear and like nothing fits! I want new clothes and shoes but I feel bad making my parents spend the $$ on my clothes since they r more expensive as I get older. I would pay for some myself but I have no moneyy lol so what should I do??




Hey babe, ask your parents if they could buy you a few things. When you go shopping, get basics that can easily be mixed and matched for endless outfits! 
katelin s.

Sportygirly23 on 7/28/2009 12:28:23 AM

MOD i have a question does premium (as in computer accounts) mean pay every month?




Hey, I'm not sure but I think it means a payment just once. Read the fine print to see if it explains better.
katelin s.

OMGitsalala on 7/27/2009 10:38:27 PM

Mod
i am bored lately i dont like reading books i have no friends in my neighborhood and the ones i do have are busy i cant play on the computer or watch tv that much its boring to ride my bike back and forth my mom doesnt like going places often?




Hey, try a new hobby or craft like scrapbooking or painting. Also, clean out a room in your house and rearrange the furniture and give it a face-life! 
katelin s.

avr4407 on 7/27/2009 10:07:30 PM

MOD!
I have some new gladiator sandals I bought. I have a black; white; and now bronze pair. I usually wear them with rompers/skinny jeans; but I want some new styles! Can I wear them with jean shorts? or a jean skirt? Thanks!




Hey, sure I think you can. Try it out and see what it looks like! 
katelin s.

Juneau1021 on 7/27/2009 10:04:02 PM

hey girlies im dana director of club awnser we are having a run up for president you need to leave a post saying u want to run for prez on my profile before july 31 the day i will pick prez is august 1 but their will be other prizer ten other girlies will be geting a jo bro cd free newsletter for dana world or the new twilight new moon or you will be the first to recevie clips for the new book donya world!!!!!!!!! only 1 prez but so many prizez to give away

lonnae8 on 7/27/2009 9:04:10 PM

meh...kinda have the same situation.

im really shy and whenever i talk people are always like "you can talk!"

and im like "your point being...?"

purplecrazed on 7/27/2009 7:13:12 PM

hey girls come check put my profileTong

partygirl09 on 7/27/2009 6:35:17 PM

mod mod mod
im 13 and i still hav a bear i sleep with i mean like i dont hav 2 and i dont take it when i go any where. and i also still hav my american girl dolls and like on my bed. an i still the only girl whos has this stuff?




Hey Girl, no worries your not the only one! If they make you happy thats all that matters. *Cara T* 
Cara T.

betz8 on 7/27/2009 6:26:14 PM

oh c i'm the total oppisite! i don't let anyone push me around.

soccergal6 on 7/27/2009 6:25:27 PM

Haha i use to be really sweet and kind and shy,and let people run over me,til one day this girl in my class kept hitting me on the back of the head after i told her to stop.she did it again and i slapped her.her glasses flew off her face and everyone laughed at her.she started to cry.but everyone said"Woah!cosette im never gonna mess with you!"it was such a good momment.But then the next day the girl got mad and told everyone she was gonna beat me up and someone told me,i turned around to look at her and she started to hide behind someone.i dont let people do that to me anymore.unless its just words.then i really dont care.

i even told the girl i was sorry,but i also told her if she ever hit me again i will repeat the process over (:

she never messed with me again
but it took me 5 years to stand up for myself.
i dunno why but for some reason people are drawn to pick on me.But dont EVER let people hit you and get away with it.cause then they will keep doing it,because they know you will not do anything about it.Even when two of my besties put powder all over me,i told them to stop and they didnt so i kicked one of them into a wall.but thats because they hit me . i guess they didnt get the "i can be mean "memo.but i am really nice most of the time.





























































so yep!

cum see my proo peeps!

demilovato4real on 7/27/2009 6:18:02 PM

MOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MODDD!MODDD!!MODD!MODD!
Ok so my mom got a job at this school.She wants to put me in that school because transpertation.But i want to go to school with all my friends.but the time schedule will make this hard.my mom will not let me walk home alone,or depend on my friends for rides.And she will not allow me to walk home with my guy friend.and i cant ride a bike. so how can i go to the same school where my best buds are going?
PLEASE HELP ME MOD!!!!!




Hey Girl, thats tough cuz it will most likely be your mom's decision, but even if you go to a new school, you can make plenty of new friends and still keep in touch with old ones on weekends or nights! Try not to worry too much! *Cara T* 
Cara T.

demilovato4real on 7/27/2009 5:54:46 PM



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