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How to deal with hurt feelings from family

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My parent have been divorced for one year and separated for three. My dad is emotionally abusive and I am forced to see him partly out of guilt and also because of the court order we have.

He has been dating this lady (who I still haven't met) and he literally told everyone about his relationship with her, but me. I only found out through my sister. The other night at dinner my dad said, "Oh by the way, so-and-so and I are engaged." I am really upset at my dad and I don't want to go back to his house. I have already decided that even if I am invited to the wedding, I won't be attending. What should I do?

-Anonymous

I do think it wasn’t right for your father not to tell you about his significant other. But I am also sure he had reasons for his actions. He might have known how much it would hurt your feelings, or he may even have been timid to approach you on the topic and therefore avoided it all together. Whatever the case may be, the only way you can let go of your anger and resentment against him is by talking with him.

Reconnect with your father to figure out why he didn’t tell you about the woman he is dating. Set up a one-on-one meeting and let him know how you are feeling. I’m sure once he knows how much his actions effected you, he will take more care for the future.

You only get one father and one mother. So no matter how much wrong they do, you can’t forget that they are your parents. When it comes to family, you can be mad, but you always have to love them unconditionally.

<3
Paulette

BY JIAE K. ON 8/1/2009 7:00:00 AM 37 COMMENTS

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On December 13, 2008 my mom died. Now, 10 months later, my dad starts dating. I really don't like it and even though we talked about it and that he won't try to replace my mom, I still don't feel comfortable about it. Please help me and tell me what to do! I'm having a hard time sleeping at night because of so much on my mind. HELP!!!!

Hey babe,

I'm really sorry to hear about your mom. Talk to your dad about how you feel. Knowing that you don't feel comfortable might make him change his mind about dating right now or make a bigger effort to help you feel okay about it.

xoxo Allie

Allie S.

Dramakween97 on 10/21/2009 7:35:50 PM

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DoggiesSavanna on 8/18/2009 1:11:06 AM

the best thing to do is to tell him the truth how you feel hurt. but do go to the wedding am inturpt it so he could feel hurt to.=)

Love,

Brianna S.

bSterlin1 on 8/17/2009 12:21:16 AM

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musicrox on 8/15/2009 5:22:12 PM

what your did isnt right but but still you should attend the wedding to show that you care even if you dont cause one day your gonna regret it and really need him besides you havent met his new wife she could be cool

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lovegal98 on 8/15/2009 2:56:38 PM

GIRLY:
emotionally abusive means you abuse people with the way you talk and feel, not physically. you can "hurt" without laying a finger on them. say by insulting them, cursing, even just doing something like dumping your GF or BF.

periodworrier17 on 8/14/2009 11:22:40 AM

My parents is div.So one day I found out that my
dad is getting marrie with my step dad ex wife.I was so angry that I hit a baseball to the window.
Afther that my mom had a talk with me she said
I should be happy for him.I walk to my my dad
house and said sorry.Now I am his ring girl for
his wedding

immortalninja on 8/12/2009 10:02:21 PM

my dad droppped on us that he is getting married in 1 week... without telling us!!!/me!!!

skatingblondies101 on 8/11/2009 8:31:58 PM

I'm guessing that your dad was thinking you would be mad at him if he kept on talking about his fiance. But it turns out your mad at him for not telling.... awwww im so sorry for you!

Rossi72 on 8/11/2009 6:28:25 PM

wow but what does emotionly abusive meen

LipglosskisserI on 8/10/2009 3:14:17 PM

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lovedance15 on 8/9/2009 12:34:11 PM

Thats exactly like my famil Court, guit, and all

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i<3anton on 8/6/2009 11:39:29 AM

I know how you feel. My parents are getting a divorce and have been seperated since November. So stay strong!! That is what I do!!!

-puppyluver-

makayla12 on 8/6/2009 7:39:32 AM

** mod mod mod mod mod mod mod ** i need some advice. i learned today that one of my friend's parents are getting divorced after being together for more than 30 years. my best friend, who is neighbors and also friends with my other friend whos parents are getting divorced, doesn't know yet and i'm not allowed to tell her. i know i won't but i REALLY want to. do you have any ways to fight off the temptation?? thanks so muchh

Hey girl , just remember that its not really your place to say anything and its their own private family issue, and that it would be best for her to find out from her parents directly. *Cara T*

Cara T.

musicislove 8D on 8/5/2009 9:14:07 PM

srry, i realy feel 4 u

sweet_chocolate_ on 8/5/2009 8:50:17 PM

omg that s so sad that sa really hard topic i really need advice check out mah profile plz i need helppp

<3LaurLaur<3 on 8/5/2009 6:23:17 PM

*MOD*

ok so i dont know if anything's really wrong with me but i need some advice...i get mad very easily at people and i dont know why. last night my mom wouldn't let me go to a sleepover with my best friends that i havent seen since school ended. i got so mad at her and i just flipped out. my mom now hates me and she said that i am a selfish, disrespectful, rude and shameful. but thats not the first time she has said that. im starting to feel really bad and worthless about myself and i dont know what's wrong with me! do you have any advice on how i can keep myself from feeling angry so easily and/or deal with my mom?

ocd (obsessive cullen disorder) on 8/5/2009 3:01:29 PM

thats just not right girlie!!!!!!!!!!

chocolatelover13 on 8/4/2009 10:08:53 AM

If you need advice comment on my profile

17ann on 8/3/2009 8:29:58 PM

oh babe, i feel your pain. my family is horrible. like my "sis" is sickning trying to spilt my parents up just because she hates my dad. and hes a good dad its just she doesnt think so. noooo one in my fam likes her (from my point of view). sometimes you just have to stick it out. you are definatly in my prayers...

hugs and hearts

-court x333

sillyram_2014 on 8/3/2009 6:06:02 PM

wait a second- you HAVE to love your parents unconditionally?? what if you have really awful abusive parents (not speaking from experience)? are you still supposed to love them and not care what they do?? i mean, come on! you're not like a dog or something! no offense or anything, but saying that youre required to love anybody seems a little wrong...

chic chick on 8/3/2009 1:18:41 PM

thats not right

JJ25 on 8/3/2009 11:12:57 AM

OMG that sounds almost exactly like what my bff is going through. Maybe its u? Seriously.

harvard

Check out my profile!!

soccerbee683 on 8/3/2009 12:26:31 AM

I'm not meaning to sound copy-catty and annoying, but I am in the same sitch. In fact, today, he kicked my little (half) sisters table at me and began to yell at me. And this was all because I got a little upset at something he did. I was really upset and went to my room. It's extrememly hurtful. If it wasn't for my little half sis'. I would TOTALLY not go back.

way2go12 on 8/2/2009 6:32:55 PM

and p.s. if u talk u ur dad and tell him u dont want to come over anymore it will probably hurt his feelings. but make sure he knows ur mad and arent comfortable in this akward situation and he will probably give u permission. also once ur old enough im pretty sure u get to pick where u wanna go.

nerdygal on 8/1/2009 11:42:21 PM

I ttly understand! he shouldve told u and i know this wont mean much but i think you should go to the wedding. it's ur fathers big day. you dont have to be happy or even dance or participate in anyway watsoever! i would just go so he knows u will support him in all his decision, even if u dont respect them. Good luck and i hope u and ur dad come to terms!

nerdygal on 8/1/2009 11:40:08 PM

Wow thats super tough and like the only thing you really can do is talk to him about it

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SportyGal on 8/1/2009 5:53:16 PM

Awww!! poor gurl!!

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Kgirl47 on 8/1/2009 5:35:14 PM

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athlete24 on 8/1/2009 5:19:29 PM

aww, that must b really tough on u. i hope u and ur dad can work things out!

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Club*Girl on 8/1/2009 5:16:08 PM

keep going strong my parents are divorced and i don;t like my father very much but i go to be strong and help my little brother. just stay strong and remember whatever doesn't break you makes you stronger in the end!!!!!

morgy22195 on 8/1/2009 4:15:29 PM

im so sorry girl! that must be really hard for you. i know you'll make it through this tough time!

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