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Flirty Friend

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Hey. I have a prob. My friend, lets call her.. uhm... "MissyD" likes to flirt a lot. She has a BF, and loves him a lot, but she's ALL over every guy she sees. I've had other girls ask me what her problem is, and that they don't like it when shes all over their BFs.

"MissyD" is also all over my crush. She very well knows I really like him, but she does it anyway. He's a big flirt, too. It's kind of disgusting, and me and my other friends have tried talking to her about it [calmly] but she always gives these dumb explainations, and they are so untrue.

She also gets defensive and upset when we try to talk it over with her. It bugs me a lot when she "pokes" around with my crush [even though he's not mine.. yet...] and I get overwhelmed. I don't know anymore, should I try to talk to her again, or ditch the BF flirting witch?

- HannahxxooBanana'

Hey there, HannahxxoooBanana!

Although boys are and always will be a HUGE part of your life, they're definitely not worth losing a friend over, so hold off on ditching your girl just yet. I know it's hard to watch her scamming on all the guys, but keep in mind that she's not doing it to hurt anyone. The source of all her flirting is most likely insecurity. She flirts with guys to get a positive response from them, which makes her feel good about herself.

Some people need this kind of validation to make them feel like they belong. Try talking to her again; just be careful with what you say. Don't make it seem like you're attacking her by using words like "flirting" to describe her actions, or forbidding her from talking to your crush.

Instead, tell her that you're really into this guy and that you'd appreciate it if she'd put in a few good words for you; that way, she still gets to mingle with him, but the attention is really on you! Also, talk to her boyfriend. Does her serial socializing bother him, does he not notice, or does he just not care? As long as it's not affecting their relationship or your friendship, don't concern yourself with her harmless flirting. Encourage her to spend more time with her BF and maybe it'll take her mind off of all the other guys. Hang in there, sister!

XOXO,

Chelsea

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BY CAITLIN R. ON 8/19/2009 7:00:00 AM 20 COMMENTS

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20 READER COMMENTS

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one of my bffs finally kissed a guy, actually made out with him, she never really liked him and now shes moving onto another guy, who she thinks shes gonna kiss too. i dont want people to think she is a slut, because she isnt. what do i do?

Hey girl! You should talk to her nicely about your concern.

Eryn G.

louiseplease on 12/27/2009 6:23:42 PM

Hey can you help me out here please?
ok so me and my bgf had a little mishave on the last day of school, people screamed out my name say i love my bgf (Cole)! He became a jerk about it and said "I almost puked when i heard that" i was heart broken. We go on the same bus and the first of school going to be really awkward. I keep thinking to myself that mybe i should say sorry be then it go's to wait i wasnt the one being the jerk. Soo what do you think i should do???

make-upmel16 on 8/26/2009 2:21:43 AM

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Awhile back this kind of crazy chick, who said I was her BFF, told me she was a lesbo. I told one person and now I'm afraid the chick's gonna hurt me. What can I do?

Hey girl, I would def talk to this girl and let her know that you slipped it once in conversation. Just apologize and be sincere about it and I'm sure she'll be grateful that you've been open with her. I'm sure you can work it out!

katelin s.

i<3anton on 8/25/2009 9:21:46 PM

MOD i have a friend shes my bestie actually . no one in my family likes her and now i dont like her. shes gross at her sleepover she kept mooning me every 5 seconds she slaps her private all the time when we are alone shes obsesed with her body she always thinks she right when shes not she picks her snot and says want some? she makes up fights for no reason and shes rude. how can i tell her i dont wanna be her friend any more

Hey girlie! Try talking to her first and explaining your feelings. If that doesn't work, you can slowly distance yourself from her. But, don't say or do anything that could potentially hurt her feelings.

-Taeler

Taeler L.

dolcecupcakes on 8/25/2009 4:41:57 PM

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My friend might be suicidal! She told our other bff that sometimes she wishes she could die (and has said and acted that way before) when they were talking about boys. She's got a lot going for her and she knows it, but she has problems with confidence around boys. That she likes, you know? And to make matters worse, her two bgf's who are older now have pretty much disowned her. We try to boost her confidence with compliments but we don't know how to make her feel better about boys. What can we do? Help!

Hey girl, I suggest that you bring an adult into this matter. this is very serious and it's something that must be dealt with care. Suicidal actions shouldn't be overlooked and if you really care for your friend, tell your parent, her parent, a teacher, or anyone you can trust who can help. <3 Jeannie

Jeannie L.

soccerbee683 on 8/23/2009 5:17:57 PM

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Ok so my old BFF from like 4th Grade finally called me for a hang out! (Let's call her Molly.) So I'm kind of excited, since we've never had hang out in a while. I was so excited, that I told my other friend (let's call her Emma). Then Emma said "Maybe I could come over, too! I've been wanting to have a hang out with Molly for a while cause we haven't had one in forever!" But I'M the one who hasn't had a hang out with Molly in literally FOREVER! I kinda just wanted some alone time with Molly, so we could make our friendship stronger. Now with Emma probably coming, I won't be able to do that! What should I do if Emma comes? Because when I used to go to Molly's with Emma they would both kind of ignore me.
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Hey girl, why don't you tell Emma that you want some alone time with Molly since you haven't seen her in a while? Or maybe, you and Molly can get dinner or something beforehand, and then meet up with Emma afterwards. That way you can still hang out with her and Emma can, too.

xox Alexa

alexa e.

memory975 on 8/23/2009 12:34:46 PM

Yea. She could just be insecure. But we don't need a guy or gal to complete us. For girls or guys.

nerdykitty97 on 8/23/2009 1:38:04 AM

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Club*Girl on 8/22/2009 3:53:28 AM

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I have a friend who was my bff last year. I got really mad at her last year because she always left me out of conversations and lied to me often. When I wasnt hanging out with her I wasn't as "bad" as I was before when we were friends. (she cursed a lot and talked a lot about s*x.)I forgave her at the end of the school year but then this year she seems to be leaving me out of conversations. I feel like I have to talk to her in order for her to talk to me. I dont know if I should be her friend or not. PLEASE HELP!
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Hey babe,

You have to make this call for yourself. Weight it out - is her friendship worth more to you than how you've been behaving when you're with her. If you think you can have both her friendship and your own personality the way you want it to be, then try to make things up with her.

xoxo Allie

Allie S.

fatkelsey on 8/21/2009 8:04:39 PM

that sucks. my friend isn't like that. we don't really even like the same type of guys which is better so we wont fight over them. but i can see your in a different situation. i agree that u should talk to her to straighten things out.

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650smileyfaces on 8/21/2009 12:27:29 AM

i have a friend who is kinda like that but she doesnt really try guy just really like her because shes super nice and pretty much everyone just loves her

relly_rox on 8/20/2009 10:31:36 AM

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Are Vans cool anymore? I just got some black ones that I really like, but I don't know if they're "in" now.

Hey babe,

Plenty of people still wear vans. They're still very in.

xoxo Allie

Allie S.

Lexy5 on 8/19/2009 10:30:18 PM

Yeah, I would have a talk with her about how it's really bothering you that she always flirts with your crush, even though she has a bf!! Say that it hurts you because she already has a boyfriend and she knows that you like him. Say that she might be sending the wrong message to people. Hopefully everything will work out!!

ShopperSoccerGurl on 8/19/2009 8:22:53 PM

i hate that! omg my bff is soo like that and it gets to the point where i get so mad! i like this kid austin and , she likes him, then some other day she hates him and makes fun of me!
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happyhamsters! on 8/19/2009 6:34:37 PM

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musicrox on 8/19/2009 3:16:10 PM

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD!!!!!!!!! PLEASE ANSWER!!!!! ok i have these too friends how bout (sara nd sam)ok well sam told me tht sara said i was jeious of her for going out wit her bf(um...seth)but im not they all no i like this other guy. so i asked sara if she said tht nd she said no. but thn sam was like being kinda snobby bc i told her i dont care who she goes out wit. nd im so sick of drama nd no matter how hard i try to stay away from im always some how involoved. PLEASE HELP!!!

Hey girl,

All that drama is unhealthy for you. The 3 of you need to sit down together and talk it out. Try to be respectful of what one another is saying. Tell them if they say something you agree with. But you need to tell them how you really feel and they both need to hear it at the same time. Answer any questions when they ask you about why you feel the way you do.

Megan P.

Megan P.

sportscutie14 on 8/19/2009 1:15:35 PM

Do real friends really do that kind of thing? I mean, my best friend is a flirt, too. But she stays away from my crushes and bfs

BubbaleeEmalee123 on 8/19/2009 11:47:41 AM

ya that is a tough one but i still dont think i would want a friend flirting with my crush!

cutieme03 on 8/19/2009 11:30:40 AM

That is really tough. If she was my friend that would annoy me to death!!! No one goes near my crush! LOL. Anyway I would not be her friend.

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glamgirlteen on 8/19/2009 10:37:20 AM

Great advice! I think thats a good idea to ask her to put in a few good words about u to ur crush, its a win-win situation! and yeah maybe get her BF to talk to her about it

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SportyGal on 8/19/2009 9:18:20 AM

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