Hey. I have a prob. My friend, lets call her.. uhm... "MissyD" likes to flirt a lot. She has a BF, and loves him a lot, but she's ALL over every guy she sees. I've had other girls ask me what her problem is, and that they don't like it when shes all over their BFs.
"MissyD" is also all over my crush. She very well knows I really like him, but she does it anyway. He's a big flirt, too. It's kind of disgusting, and me and my other friends have tried talking to her about it [calmly] but she always gives these dumb explainations, and they are so untrue.
She also gets defensive and upset when we try to talk it over with her. It bugs me a lot when she "pokes" around with my crush [even though he's not mine.. yet...] and I get overwhelmed. I don't know anymore, should I try to talk to her again, or ditch the BF flirting witch?
Hey there, HannahxxoooBanana!
Although boys are and always will be a HUGE part of your life, they're definitely not worth losing a friend over, so hold off on ditching your girl just yet. I know it's hard to watch her scamming on all the guys, but keep in mind that she's not doing it to hurt anyone. The source of all her flirting is most likely insecurity. She flirts with guys to get a positive response from them, which makes her feel good about herself.
Some people need this kind of validation to make them feel like they belong. Try talking to her again; just be careful with what you say. Don't make it seem like you're attacking her by using words like "flirting" to describe her actions, or forbidding her from talking to your crush.
Instead, tell her that you're really into this guy and that you'd appreciate it if she'd put in a few good words for you; that way, she still gets to mingle with him, but the attention is really on you! Also, talk to her boyfriend. Does her serial socializing bother him, does he not notice, or does he just not care? As long as it's not affecting their relationship or your friendship, don't concern yourself with her harmless flirting. Encourage her to spend more time with her BF and maybe it'll take her mind off of all the other guys. Hang in there, sister!
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POSTED ON 8/19/2009 7:00:00 AM
POSTED IN 411 on fighting with friends, dealing with jealousy