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Dear Carol

A Hairy Situation

 

My friend doesn't shave her legs. All the kids make fun of her behind her back.


I want to tell her to shave, but I'm afraid I'll hurt her feelings or she'll get mad at me.


-Can't Break It To Her

Dear C.B.I.T.H,

Maybe your friend is not in a mad rush to grow up and is resisting the pressure others feel. Can you stand up to the other kids? Say, "C'mon, give her a break," or "Who cares about her hairs?" or "I like her—could you please not make fun of her?" It may take guts, but it feels good to defend a friend. And why should she conform to other people's standards?


If however, you decide to draw her attention to her legs, you could walk through a pharmacy with your friend as you casually buy what you need, including razors, or you could even invite her to join you and a few friends for a Saturday spa—you'll provide the nail polish, razors, and shaving cream.


Want More Advice? Order Carol Weston’s Girltalk Fourth Edition: All the Stuff Your Sister Never Told You. It’s got the answers to all of your most important questions. So if you're looking for tips, quotes, advice, or just plain info about growing up, friends, boys, school, family stuff, substance abuse, or any problems big and small, check out Dear Carol's Girltalk or For Girls Only. They'll help you feel confident, inspired and energized!
 
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BY CAITLIN R. ON 8/21/2009 7:00:00 AM 145 COMMENTS

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145 READER COMMENTS

Some girls don't shave because they're not allowed to.

curlyqueen987 on 1/5/2010 6:33:42 PM

i us to feel the same way to bout my hair but my mom had told me that it iz iz dead hair th at iz proably whatz up with u. so dont worry mbout it girl:-(. peace out yall a town down!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

coolgirl43 on 11/24/2009 9:18:44 PM

MOD!!!!
k so im not sure wat's wrong w/ me but i am pulling my hair out. im not even mad or stressed. its a habit. my mom and doctor know. they don't know wat it is... i've got sticky uppy hair and it sux!!! ): i usually do it absentmindedly. what is wrong with me??




Hey babe, it could be a form of obsessive compulsive disorder. Make an appointment with your school counselor or a therapist and see if he/she can help you through that. 
katelin s.

katenasmile on 10/8/2009 9:48:47 PM

i think you should just leave it be.
tell those ppl to stop teasing your friend.
dont force someone into shaving their legs.
an it also depends on how old they are.

check out my profile girls!SmileTongSmile

misher4 on 9/30/2009 4:45:00 PM

i know how you feel but you should just tell her (but in privasy)

ravenhatter on 9/30/2009 3:28:45 PM

Eryn- My question was that i I HAVE PADDED BRAS AND RECENTLY SWITCHED BACK TO TRAINING BRAS IF THAT IS NORMALLY OR STRANGE. mY BREASTS HAVENT GROWN IN 2 YRS, IS THIS NORMAL??

 

Hey girl! Everyone grows at different times. If you are concerned you should talk to a doctor.

Eryn G.

cupcake143 on 9/22/2009 1:43:40 PM

Sorry the last one about the bras is for the MOD sorry!

 

Hey girl! I am sorry but what was your question.

Eryn G.

cupcake143 on 9/22/2009 1:16:34 PM

Ok so I got like 8 padded bras in Nov. 08 but recently I have switched bak to training bras because my boobs are not that big. Is this normal to think and change back???

cupcake143 on 9/22/2009 12:59:54 PM

MOD Help! I'm in 7th grade and I wet the bed, my mom doesnt know but what should i do?? HELP!!




Hey girlie! If it keeps happening, tell you mom! Don't be afraid to; it happens to lots of girls!

-Taeler 
Taeler L.

cupcake143 on 9/22/2009 12:48:30 PM

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD. MY FRIEND HANNAH, HAS A CRUSH ON THIS GUY, AND i DO TOO. I DON'T KNOW IF HE LIKES ME BUT PEOPLE ARE SAYING HE LIKES ME MORE. i AM GAGA FOR HIM AND HANNAH GOSIPS ABOUT ME ,ANYHOW. WHAT DO I DO TO KEEEP EVERYTHING INTACT?

 

Hey girlie! Well, first remember that guys will come and go. So, if the boy is worth it go for it. But, remember to be considerate of your girl's feelings. Don't do anything that will hurt your friendship!

-Taeler

Taeler L.

modelmaterial on 9/7/2009 2:56:09 PM

Wow I have the same problem with my friend and she doesn't shave her legs or armpits and people laugh at her but I don't want 2 hurt her feelings so how can I tell her

chica272 on 9/6/2009 10:04:50 PM

mod!!
i don't think my question got posted so im going to say it again.
i have hair on my knuckles but i don't want to shave them what should i do?




Hey girl! The best thing to do would be to talk to your mom about this. That way she can give you some good ideas that she is ok with. 
Eryn G.

josie.boom on 9/5/2009 2:55:06 PM

Hey girl, gotta admit, that's a little weird. What comes out is waste from the foods you eat. Your body works hard taking nutrients out of each substance to store and use. What you're left with is a lot of stuff your body can do nothing with. I'd kick the habit, girlie. Try an apple instead - it's much cleaner and helpful for your body.

xoxo
Alyssa B.

**emily** on 8/29/2009 11:02:12 PM

Hey girl, just wanted to keep your prob private, but the question is if that's normal for you. Sounds like you may not be getting enough fluids, so add some water to your diet and see what happens. If you're still not sure, next time you're at the doctor, ask: they'll be able to pinpoint the prob for you and give you the proper, personalized treatment.

xoxo
Alyssa B.

**emily** on 8/29/2009 10:52:14 PM

Hey girl,  I had to filter out your comment, but no, not all guys are like that. That guy was just a creep, trust me. I'd cut ties with him (and note he could be breaking the law now or sometime soon saying the things he is - it's a serious thing). Another thing too: never let a guy (or girl) pressure you into doing something you don't want to do. Believe me, a good guy respects your boundaries and you. Never settle for anything less. Hope this helps, girlie. Sounds like you've got an itchy sitch on your hands but I know it'll clear up.

xoxo
Alyssa B.

gorgeousgirls on 8/28/2009 12:53:51 AM

MOD MOD MOD MOD
I have a friend that has really long nails (My parents thought they were fake!) and it looks really weird! And she has a lot of acne. She always wonders why guys don't talk to her and I don't want to hurt her feelings by telling her why.




Hey girl, acne is something your friend can't help. You're right to stay quiet, but there's nothing wrong with giving your friend suggestions to look her best. Try taking her to get her nails done or over to a make-up store to try foundation and cool eyeshadow. You can't change your friend, but you can certainly help her look her best - not to mention have a lot of fun doing it. Good luck!

xoxo
Alyssa B.

tiffany991 on 8/27/2009 11:31:51 PM

MOD**
I'm 14 and my parents are divorced, I live with my mom and see my dad every other weekend. I wanna go to my dads for a week and then my moms for a week(50 50 custody). I live in GA so is it legal for me to decide that yet? and also I'm scared to talk to my mom about it...




Hey. I'm not sure about the laws concerning child custody in GA. I suggest you look that up online. But i suggest you talk to your mom about it because obviously your dad means a lot to you and she should understand that. Good luck bringing it up! xoxo kerra 
Kerra S.

justagirl00 on 8/27/2009 3:58:54 PM

I give advice sooooo

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comment my profile!
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swimmerxox on 8/27/2009 8:07:50 AM

thanks Smile

therealmerevealed on 8/26/2009 11:47:52 PM

MOD MOD MOD MOD
my friend likes my crush now and she knows who he likes but she won't tell me she said that she likes him to much to tell me but she just started likeing him yesturday and i told her who her old crush likes so is there anything i can do 2 get her to tell me or should i just drop it? and is there a limit on how many times you can MOD a day on GL?
MOD MOD MOD




Hey babe,

You can't force her to tell you, and if you both like this guy you might want to stay away from him so neither of you gets hurt. As for modding, we each work four hour shifts, typically, maybe more if we're covering for someone that day.No limit that I know of, but as someone who once worked an 11 hour shift, I think everyone has their own personal limit. ;)

xoxo Allie
Allie S.

therealmerevealed on 8/26/2009 11:38:51 PM

*MOD*MOD*MOD*
thanks ill be patient but just curious whats the longest it should take? thanks *ChAsE lOvEs YoU tO bItS*




Hey babe,

Probably a week at the longest if we're super backed up.

xoxo Allie
Allie S.

ChAsEmEhOmE on 8/26/2009 9:35:50 PM

*MOD*MOD*MOD*MOD*MOD*MOD*MOD*
I MADE MY PORFILE 2 DAYS AGO AND IT STILL IS BEING MODERATED... AND IT SAYS oh whoops caps was still on...
and it says not open to public but i didnt check that box... im over 13! whats the deal? *ChAsE lOvEs YoU tO bItS*




Hey babe,

Keep waiting. It can take longer than that sometimes. Just try checking the "make my profile visible to others" option again to be sure.

xoxo Allie
Allie S.

ChAsEmEhOmE on 8/26/2009 9:28:24 PM

MOD MOD MOD MOD
i sleep funny and when i wake up i have horrible cramps in my neck and it never stops hurting do you know any thing that could help my neck stop hurting? MOD MOD MOD




Hey babe,

Try a new pillow. You might need more or less than you're actually using or just one that's softer or firmer than the one you're using.

xoxo Allie
Allie S.

therealmerevealed on 8/26/2009 9:14:46 PM

yikes, i can't imagine not shaving my legs! that was really good advice, though-but, still, it's kind of gross if you see a girl wearing shorts, and her legs are covered in hair-it looks weird. but, i guess if she's fine with it, then that's all that matters.

sunflowerlicious on 8/26/2009 8:21:59 PM

My little sister has to go to dance and my mom said that i could be by my self!!! YES FREEDOM

dolly275 on 8/26/2009 5:30:06 PM

NEEDED TO SHAVE MY LEGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dolly275 on 8/26/2009 5:27:40 PM

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD***********
I know this is an odd place to put this, but:
I LOVE reading, and I need some new authors. I have nothing good to read but really need something! I read my GL magazines all the time and I don't like Harry Potter and/or Twilight.
Thanks!




Hey girl, go to an expert for this question. I suggest that you go to a book store or library. The people who work there deal with all kinds of books and will probably know what to recommend. <3 Jeannie 

Jeannie L.

musiclover1396 on 8/26/2009 3:23:06 PM

I GIVE GREAT ADVICE!!!
I GIVE GREAT ADVICE!!!
I GIVE GREAT ADVICE!!!

Anna Beesley on 8/26/2009 2:47:48 PM

MOD!! MOD!! or girls My friend broke up with her boyfriend about 6 months ago and she has changed alot. She used to be fun to be with, but she isn't anymore. She doesn't shave. It is really gross. She always wears jeans, even in 80 degree weather. And she is really mean. I don't know what to do. Should I just let her get over it? Should I help her and talk with her? I really need your help.

 

Hey girl,

 

Your friend could still be hurt by the relationship that ended. She could be depressed or going through a really rough time right now. Lend her an ear, a true friend is there for you when you really need it.

 

Megan P.

Megan P.

lls_13 on 8/26/2009 2:44:10 PM

Hey girlies! I would love to help you with anything going on so check out my profile!

smileyjess123 on 8/26/2009 1:34:28 PM

Hey-
tell her it is not right to have hair on your legs... ask her if she is worried that her mom will get mad or what..... tell her to sit down with her mom and talk.... thanks... Jac

sillygirl1996 on 8/26/2009 1:32:21 PM

Honey, unless the girls oblivious she probably is aware... and if she doesn't care what people think... you being her best friend shouldn't either! Who cares if she doesn't shave her legs? i didn't til 6th grade and i'm fine... stop worrying and enjoy being with your hairy best friend!
*ChAsE*

ChAsEmEhOmE on 8/26/2009 10:28:07 AM

MOD please thanx well im going into year 6 and its going to be find your match day and on that day you have to find your match like another boy you like or another girl. since im really shy and i hardly ever hang out with any of the guys i dont know who likes me and if we would work well and tommorrow at about lunchtime we are picking and i have no idea what to do!!!! i dont really think any boy likes me because i never am "cool" to them or anything! please help thanx so much mods!! xxxx

 

Hey girl,

 

I've never heard of that kind of day before, just wear something really cute on that day and try smiling a couple times at one boy you think is cute.

 

Megan P.

Megan P.

shahzreah on 8/26/2009 6:16:39 AM

***MOD*** If i ask carol a question how will i know its beeen answered or when i use mod how will i know bc when i leave a comment i cant see it!

 

Hey girl,

 

Try waiting a couple hours and then checking back. If Carol answers your question, then it will be in her section of the website. Your comment doesn't show right away, but it will show up as soon as the mod reads it and answers it.

 

Megan P.

Megan P.

girlie82 on 8/26/2009 12:49:13 AM

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD!!
I really like this guy, lets call him Steve. He's incredibly cute and has a great personality. The only prob is that I joked around with my best friend and told her I was going out with Steve and she went off right away (this was on Facebook) and she told her other friend and they didnt believe me(it was a joke!) and the other friend asked Steve if I was dating him and he said no, so great. Steve prob thinks im weird....Im so sad! Then I like this guy, lets call him Gary. He's cute, funny, and awesome! He goes to my church school and we dont really talk too much, we do talk on facebook tho. And finaly (im sorry!) I like a guy, lets call him Brian and he's funny, cute, and I DO talk to him! What guy should I go for and ask out!? Which sounds best to you? Also, I've never had a bf, so I don't know if that makes a difference or not???
PLEASE HELP ME!!
THANKS!!




Hey babe,

I think they all sound like possibilities. Just follow your heart and go for the guy you like best. Or you can wait for awhile and figure out how you feel and where you stand with these guys. You don't have to figure out everything right away.

xoxo Allie
Allie S.

alyviathesinger on 8/25/2009 8:12:36 PM

MOD-MOD
What are some good brands of razors that shave well and dont leave tiny hairs behind..
and is it better to use the disposable razors or the real metals ones?
Thanks!




Hey babe,

You get a closer shave with a real razor than with a disposable one. Try ones with moisture strips and blades that you can replace with newer ones.

xoxo Allie
Allie S.

daad13 on 8/25/2009 7:52:19 PM

HEY MOD,
my best friend really doesnt shave her legs and its disgusting and thick. my friends and i have went out with her to buy shavers and hair removalers but she stil doesnt shave!!!!!!!!!!!!! she doesnt even care! how can I help her???




Hey babe,

You might not really be helping her by forcing her to shave. If she's not ready yet it probably isn't helping her if you try to force her. Let her make her own decisions. They're her legs, not yours, and in the end it's her decision.

xoxo Allie
Allie S.

dontlolmeplz on 8/25/2009 7:31:20 PM

MOD MOD MOD
these two guys are best buds, and they both like me. I have a crush on one of them, but i'm afraid if i go out with him then the other guy will feel left out and angry. What should I do?




Hey babe,

That's great that you're thinking about other people's feelings. If your crush isn't too serious, I would recommend not acting on it. How would you feel if you were in their situation, after all? If you really, really, really like this guy, talk to him about it and his friend too and see if you guys can make something work without anyone getting too hurt.

xoxo Allie
Allie S.

mall_princess on 8/25/2009 6:11:10 PM

well it depends if ppl can actually see the hairs and the next time sumone says that stick up for her and say sumthing smart and nice
and tell her politely like saying "umm _______, i didnt want to bring this up but i know if i didnt tell u id loose u as my friend, but everyone in school laugh at ur legs because ppl know u dont shave, y dont u join me to go get my eyebrows waxed while u get ur legs waxed!"

soccerhottie9 on 8/25/2009 4:04:30 PM

MOD MOD MOD!!!!!
hey. i was wonderin do u know any lik make it urself beuty stuff? like face masks? cuz i dont have money to buy stuff like that. and girlies if u kno any pleez comment back too!!!!!!!!!!! thanks!!!!

Auntie Sum-Sum on 8/25/2009 3:53:16 PM

i would tell her to shave because if it is a new school year she should try to make a good firdt impression

degrassilife on 8/25/2009 2:44:14 PM

Hey Melany T. Where can i pick up that stuff? Is it a cream or what? And I've had these bumps for as long as i can remember, so i'm not too sure if they are an allergic reaction or not... Thanks for your help!!

hockeychic101 on 8/25/2009 1:10:48 PM

MOD! I have two questions... I have these little red bumps on my arm. They look somewhat like zits all over my ONE arm, but they aren't cuz they wont go away and you cant pop them. It bothers me and i was wondering if you knew what they could be? And if there is any way i can get rid of them...? Thanks Mod!

Hey girl. No worries. You prob had a small reaction to something. Try a little witch hazel to clear the bumps up! Mel

Melany T.

hockeychic101 on 8/25/2009 12:42:29 PM

*******MODDD MODDD MODDD************** I'm 13 and have been getting discharge sinc i was 10! I thought when you got discharge it was a sign of getting your period... BUT NO PERIOD!! I'm scared that there might be something wrong with my body!

Hey girl. You're a-okay girlie! That's norm and happens to tons of chicas. Mom Nature is on her way! Mel

Melany T.

girlie82 on 8/25/2009 12:07:28 PM

MOD MOD MOD I have two groups of friends and they asolutely HATE eachother. I want to invite both groups to my birthday party but I don't want them to fight and have a horrible time. What should I do?

Hey girl. You should try to get them together before your party to see how things go. Play peacemaker and try to get to the bottom of their beef to fix it! Everything will work out! Mel

Melany T.

sparklegirl96 on 8/25/2009 11:10:55 AM

i give great advice comment on my profile!

swimmerxox on 8/25/2009 7:48:19 AM

******MOD****** im getting my hair cut soon but i don't know how to get it cut. I have long hair and i love it, i also want to have side bangs

Hey girl. If you want to keep your length then try some cute long layers for a new look! It will look great with side bangs! Mel

Melany T.

hervictory on 8/25/2009 1:42:20 AM

yeah if she doesn't want 2 shave her legs she doesn't have to. no pressure!

hit.the.surfs. on 8/24/2009 10:13:05 PM

mod,my lil sis is so annoying! its like she wants to get me mad! and just because shes younger than me my parents side with her?!?
they're always saying stuff like "she's only a baby, she dosent know better"
but she does!!!! she is evil!!!




Hey babe, it's totally normal to not get along with your sis all the time. And no, she's not evil, she's just pushing your buttons! Sit down with her and your 'rents and talk about what you can do to keep the communication open next time she's really buggin' ya. Most likely, since she's younger, she's just looking up to you and trying to show off but talk to her and your 'rents and you'll figure it out!
katelin s.

reemahrox on 8/24/2009 9:01:31 PM

Mod
Ok at my school theres a set of twins lets call them s and l ok and i have a crush on s and my best friend has a crush on L well there back yard is back to back with a friend of mine so me and my friend hang out wiht them lots anyways this weekend we are all going to walk down the creek its pretty big and go to the water falls about a mile maby 2 away there realy cool but wat should we wear the water can be as deep as my shoulders so we will need bathing suits but wats some tips to make the day realy rock

 

Hey girl!  Wear your bathing suit with a comfy pair of shorts and top or a cute, comfy summer dress.  And don't worry about making the day rock!  you're spending the day with your bff, both of your crushes, at a beautiful creek!  It can't get much better than that. just relax, have fun, and let your personality shine! Kristen

Kristen Y.

scouty on 8/24/2009 7:48:47 PM



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