Kerra S.

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Best Of: Friends

FRIENDSHIP FIX...OR DITCH?

Check these out, too...

Drama in your clique is totally normal. You and your friends all have your flare-ups: your BFF ditches you for a date, a conceited chica brags a little too much, or your bestie goes bonkers and turns into a total stranger. But which friendship flaws should you accept? Should you cut your chica off or work with your pal on her problems?

The Sketchy Sistah

PAL PROBLEMO: It's been weeks since you've seen your friend, so you and your girilies plan a special Saturday sleepover. You're all set for your big night—popcorn, DVDs and truth or date ideas, when you get a call from your chica telling you that she's stuck at her aunt's 80th surprise party, so she doesn't think she can make it.

TALK IT OUT OR TELL HER OFF? Hmmm...a droppin' out diva is a hard pal to peg. Does it seem like she dumped ya only 'cause it was a total 911 (as in...a fam member was sick, her li'l sis needed a sitter or she had a blow-out with the BF)? If she lets ya down for reasons that seem legit, time to have a talk with your girl. Something like, "Hey seems like you've been going through a lot lately. Why don't we talk about it over some brunch on Sunday morning?" This way you can see if something serious is up with your sistah.

Does she blow you off time and again? Are her excuses totally lame? (Um, she needs to finish fractions on a Friday night)? If you feel like she's all about excuses, call her out on it. Give her the chance to make her plans on her own sched and see if she backs out of those. If she still doesn't shape up, cut your flakey friend, fast!

STRIKES AGAINST THIS SISTAH:

The One-Upper

PAL PROBLEMO: You REALLY wanted a part your school's production of Romeo and Juliet. Since your bestie is totally into theater, too, you decide to audition together. But, um, your friend scored the coveted lead and you're cast as an extra at the Capulet ball. She's super duper excited about her stardom...and doesn't really seem to know that you feel crushed.

TALK IT OUT OR TELL HER OFF? Is your girl gloating or just basking in the spotlight? If she just seems a little elated, compliment her! If she really is doing grade A work, she deserves a li'l kudos. Give her the thumbs-up but let her know that you're feeling bummed. In the meanwhile, stick with drama but also seek out interests that she won't excel in (she's totally stumped when it comes to Spanish? Hola! Run for el presidente of the Spanish club!).

Is her ego waaay too high? Give this braggin' babe a newsflash that nobody likes a perfect person. If she won't stop practicing her dramatic poison scene at lunch...at your sleepover...at soccer...tell her that she should save the drama for the stage. Does she constantly try to go one step further than you on EVERYTHING ("You got an A in Algebra? OMG, I got an A+!")? Change the subj when she tries to talk about herself. If it doesn't stop, find another sistah who will share the spotlight with you.

STRIKES AGAINST THIS SISTAH:

Loose-Lipped Lady

PAL PROBLEMO: You sat down for you first day of science and turned around to see...only the cutest guy you've ever seen in your life. You can't wait to tell your number one lady at lunch, but you make her swear she'll keep it on the DL. She promises on her Robert Pattinson photo collection...but um, looks like she spilled the beans anyways.

TALK IT OUT OR TELL HER OFF? This is a pretty serious sitch. Go straight to the source and ask her how the secret was spilled. Did she swear another sistah to secrecy, who told another bestie, who asked their cousin not to call anyone about it...but eventually it got around anyways? Try talking to this girl and telling her that a SECRET means that it's for her ears only. If she's a first-time spiller, give her a second chance but let her know how seriously hurt you are.

If your girl's gossiping galore? Probably best to cut this type of pal loose. If she's more of a busy body ("OMG! Did you hear who Patty kissed at the party this weekend?") then you might wanna hold off on telling her any real keepers. But if she passed this top secret info around with evil intentions or if she leaks your deepest and darkests all the time? Say sayonara to the secret spiller, stat! She's just looking for attention!

STRIKES AGAINST THIS SISTAH:

The Wild Woman

PAL PROBLEMO: You love your friend because she's always down for whatever. Whether it's riding the upside down roller-coaster, asking her crush out to the dance or encouraging you to try Indian food...this girl's always gonna do it first and make it seem way fun. Lately, though, it seems like your girl's growing up a little too fast. She's got an older BF and she's going to crazy parties. From the stories she's telling you about Saturday night. you're wondering who your sistah is!

TALK IT OUT OR TELL HER OFF? Could be that your chica is just experimenting with diff cliques and identities, which is totally normal. If she's dating an older dude but he seems to respect her, that's fine. If you're diva is just being her daring self, let her be.

But sometimes a pal takes the walk on the wild side a li'l too far...as in, she's going way too fast in a relationship, she's doing drugs or caring about her grades has gone out the window. If she's pressuring you to take on bad habits, it's time to talk to her. Could be that she's super troubled and just wanted someone to spot that. Lend a listening ear and if the sitch seems serious, encourage her to seek help from a pro. If she doesn't try to change, still seems totally destructive and tries to drag you down, too? Time to cut the troubled lady, lose so you don't go down with her.

STRIKES AGAINST THIS SISTAH:

-Jean Lee & Cait Rohan

BY CAITLIN R. ON 8/22/2009 7:00:00 AM 91 COMMENTS

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91 READER COMMENTS

MOD How can i gently tell my friends that thier hurting me and i'm really mad at them and if they don't change that I might not be has close to them as I am now

Hey girl! You should just sit your girls down and talk to them. Explain how your feeling and maybe you can get closer by expressing yourselves!

-Taeler

Taeler L.

hip_hop_hottie on 11/10/2009 9:11:40 AM

My bff is starting to ditch me for her rude bf... shes dressing weird acting weird and i just dont get it!!! the other day she told me i could come ova but then wen i calld her she said plans changed and to hold on.... she put me on hold to talk to her BF! i hung up after 5 mins... i guess this guy is like changing her cause she really doesnt have any girl friends anymore and sits wit the guys at lunch! i try to be nice but she is just too moody idk i dont wanna be made fun of anymore by her and her retarded bf! wenever he breaks up wit her, and she comes back i might give her a chance but u never i mean never ever ever ditch ur girlfranz fer a boi thats just girlcode! haha

LoveMeNotHer on 11/4/2009 4:58:21 PM

mod i dont undrstand sumthing i was friends with a girl named curstin from k5 till 4th grade(we met a new gurl ashley that we both became friends with) then in 5th we went our seprate ways i got a new bff leighla and i was still friends with ashley and in 5th grade curstain started cussin so every 1 started 2 h8 her were in 6th grade now n were still not friends any more but with leighla we fight a lil 2 much n were bffe....i dont understand that

Hey girl1 People change as they get older, you get closer to some friends and not to some others. You could ask her whats going on, but everyone is trying to figure out who they are. You might just want to giver her some time and space.

Eryn G.

jellybean2010 on 10/20/2009 3:03:18 PM

MOD
Please help! I'm a little on the introverted side. I've gotten better, like now I talk to people most of the time but I really need to work on having energy and being more positive. I try to but I never know what to say and I just feel a little awkward. I really think if I could get over this I'd be able to make a lot more friends... any tips? Thanks!

Hey girl! Just ask people some questions about classes or school. That will get them talking and start a convo really quick!

-Taeler

Taeler L.

Chic chick on 10/20/2009 1:18:05 AM

REALLY WORKS! TRY IT OUT!
1. Say ur name 10x
2. Say ur mom's name 5x
3. Say ur crushes name 3x
4. then paste this to 4 other quizs, if you do this your crush will kiss you on the nearest friday! But if you read this and did not paste this, then you will have very bad luck

Wolf Luver on 10/19/2009 3:28:19 PM

MOD MOD MOD MOD
ok, i kinda changed plans w/ my bff 1 too many times and she got REALLY mad. we made up, or so i thought, then i said something that kinda came out wrong, and she stalked off and hasnt talked to me since. ive tried emailing her, and whenever i log on IM when shes there, she logs off. what can i do?

Try chatting with her face to face, if that doesn't work try writing her a letter. Let her know you're hurting without her and you miss her! Maybe you could try something creative..like making her a poster or a collage!

Megan R.

HotCocoa13 on 10/18/2009 7:45:05 PM

MoD MOD MOD !!!! MOD MOD MOD !!!!!

jbeny on 10/17/2009 1:42:40 PM

okk hhhiii

dizzyds96 on 10/16/2009 5:02:59 PM

***MOD MOD MOD MOD*** ok, so I have (or prbly used 2 hav now) a friend that moved here 2 the US 4m Canada last year. When she first walked in2 the classroom on the 1st day of skool, I was the 1st 1 2 introduce myself 2 her and we became close friends throughout the skool year. Well, we used 2 b in a clique with about 4-6 other girls. Now this year, she only hangs out with 3 of these girls who r total attitude filled brats that get w.e. they want when they want. Idk if I shud still b friends with her bcuz 1, she's starting 2 lie like the girls she's hanging out with(they happen 2 b known liars) 2, she's strting 2 hav the same attitude as those girls 3, she talks about things she's goin 2 do with those girls that coming wknd then when I ask her about she says she's not doing it. For instance, today I heard her talking about seeing Zombieland this weekend with those girls and 2 others who I'm also friends with but don't hav probs with. After those girls all left while we were @ lockers, I asked her if she was going to the movies this wknd n she said prob not when I heard her say 2 min b4 that she in fact was. My mom said to just leave it alone and not hang with her bcuz those girls r prbly gna end up dragging her in2 something(like drinking or doing drugs) in hs n she's not gna b happy, then wish she was still friends with me. Idk what 2 do cuz now i've got very few friends in my class. PLZ HELP!!! ****MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD****

Hey chick! Friendships can be tricky. I would say just leave it alone and try hanging with some girls you like. Your mom is probably right. You can still be nice to her and chat with her every now and then but try to focus on some girls that are worth your friendship!

-Taeler

Taeler L.

FutureWarriorCheerleader on 10/15/2009 1:31:04 AM

MOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My BFF on hold is really being mean to me. I've been dating her old boyfriend. She seemed fine with it at first, but now my BF has been calling her names or something, and she says that I have to choose who to be friends with. I told her something I'm not proud of, and I said sorry, but I'm just mad at her too because instead of being happy for me and everything, she's telling me I have to break up with my BF is I want to be her friend. She won't even tell me exactly why! It just seems like it's some name calling, and that's it.
I really need advice. She's a really funny person and I really want to be her BFF, but now that she hates my BF and says I have to break up with him when I really don't want to, I'm just putting her on hold. Please help me so I can call her when I finish my HW really soon. Hurry, PLEASE!!!!!!!!!

Hey girl! This sounds complicated. Friends shouldn't make friends choose, although it is understandable when it comes to boys. Some girls just dont want their friends to date the wrong guy. The best thing I can tell you to do is talk to your BFF about your BF and why you like him. However, it is girl code that you don't date your friends exes. Good luck!

XOXO

Liz

Liz L.

MathGirl98 on 10/14/2009 3:43:52 PM

MOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay so to start me and my cousin live two and a half hour away from each other, but we are super close, we are like sisters. But over the past 2 years she has had a bunch of boy drama and friend drama and I really don't have that and im happy with my life but she isnt with hers. I try to put her in a good mood but she is negativ. So I visited her this weekend and we had a blast the first day but she was a downer the next. SInce then she has only text me twice once to ask advice and i gave it to her then she didnt txt back and the second to say that she isnt in the mood 4 talking that i shouldnt take it personally. and i text her today but she still hasnt text back and she always does. WHAT DO I DO?????????

Hey girl! She could just be going through some tough times! Just be there for her and let her know you care!

-Taeler

Taeler L.

bluebirdgirl222 on 10/13/2009 6:49:22 PM

tinkrulez96 on 10/12/2009 2:56:05 AM

MOD!!!! srry i hit the enter button by mistake. i was just saying that i don't think i want 2 be her friend anymore if she keeps acting like that.
help???

ImAStrangeChild on 10/10/2009 9:56:45 PM

MOD!!!!!!!
i might have already said this but my last comment isn't showing up so.....
my one of my bffs is realy bothering me lately.
we've always jokingly teased each other. and we never took it seriously. but since school started, espectially during PE(witch i don't do cause i'm already active enough at home)she's been starting 2 really hurt my feelings.
so i guess it's right before PE.
she has been saying really rude things. like last week she said i didn't have a life(i'm confused about why she said that. i'm perfectly happy. i just don't want 2 do PE and for some reason she thinks it's crutial that i do...and i don't have a life because i don't).
and she was serious when she said it. it's just all of a sudden her jokes arn't meant 2 be jokes anymore and she just throwing isnsults at me.
i've sat down with her 3 times now and tried 2 explain 2 her and every time she says she'll try 2 be nicer but every week it gets worse.
i've sent her emails 2 (long ones....) hoping it would have a different affect but she just isn't listening!!!
i'm so confused. she's never acted like this before. i know she still wants 2 be my friend because she keeps inviting me over and asks me 2 go 2 the mall with her.... but if she keeps acting like this i don't think i
please help!!!!!

Give her an ultimatum. Le her know that if she does not stop being so rude to you then you'll stop being her friend and will no longer hang out with her or go to the mall. If you let her know youre completely serious maybe she'll get the point. Good luck! xoxo kerra

Kerra S.

ImAStrangeChild on 10/10/2009 9:55:00 PM

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD! I feel kinda like my friends aren't friends really. They treat me like the ruler of the world and when i'm not there, they say they don't know what to do with themselfs. But they always laugh at the so not funnies things. (I Might sound mean, but once they cracked up over a closed juice bottle that was empty and that fell over!) And whenever i'm gone for even like two seconds, the have another thing to laugh about! its almost like an "inside joke." Sometimes I rly wanna find new friends sometimes, but I don't know if i rly need to... Should i?

Hey girl, the bond between best girlfriends is strong and you should want to hang out with them. If you are feeling constantly irritated or feel like they are not true friends I would move on. Its harsh: but it's not worth wasted time.

xoxo Olivia

Olivia A.

purplgirl15 on 10/8/2009 4:44:29 PM

heey girlies!!! check out my profile a.s.a.p!
dont be afraid to leave a comment!!!

misher4 on 9/27/2009 3:02:00 PM

MOD!!!!!
Ok, here's the thing. My best friend (let's call her D) is really mad at me. Over something really dumb. Let me explain.
I just started going out with our BGF (let's call him M) and D's been furious with me ever since. She doesn't have a crush on him or anything and M's a GREAT guy, we both know it. For example yesterday I asked her if a certain guy she's friends with was going with us to a football game and I just said nicely that I didn't really like him and then she snapped at me, she said "Well, I don't like M either." But for some reason she's really mad at me for it and it's starting to get annoying, because D does this everytime I go out with someone. It almost seems like I can't go out with anyone without her getting mad at me. I don't know if she's just being overprotective or if she's jealous. I just want it to stop because I don't want to ruin our friendship over guys.

Hey chicky, I’m a busy
bee facilitating all the G-Blog jazz. Although I’d love to answer and chat with
all ya gals, it’s just not possible at the moment. I’m sure our lovely bloggers
here would love to help ya out with some great advice! Thanks for
understanding. ♥, Your Blog Patrol Babes

Eryn G.

Gryffindorgirleb on 9/19/2009 11:42:37 AM

great advice!!

chocolatelover13 on 9/19/2009 7:58:44 AM

MODMODMODMOD
ok so i have a group of friends that have kind of been ignoring me latley, we just started grade 10 and they all made new friends over the summer and im trying to be nice to them but im younger then them(Started school early) and they look at me like some little kid, ive tried talking to my friends but its just not working. im trying to talk to new people and make new friends, but everyone already has their group of friends...what do i do!?!?!?!

Hey babe,

I'm sorry you're in a tough situation, but I don't think your friends are ignoring you - I think they're still trying to figure out how to balance their new friendships with their old ones. Keep trying to get to know the new friends. They might just need to get to know you better, then you'll all get along great!

xoxo Allie

Allie S.

Djdancerxox on 9/16/2009 5:05:53 PM

MOD MOD MOD MOMD!!!!!****** Me and my mom took my friend to panther fest. while we were there she was nagging and was complaning about how bored she was. i was really disapointed and kinda anonoyed me in how much she was complaining. and then after the consert she told me that the next day she was going shopping with her MOM and i said i want to come but she kept on making excuses. on monday she and my friend/ her friend were wearing the same thing!!!!! what does this mean exactly and what should i do about it???? please help thanks.

Hey girlie! Hm..you'll have to talk to your girlies about that one. Let them know you didn't feel great about the way she acted and that you would have never done that to her. See what happens.

-Taeler

Taeler L.

jayjai19 on 9/15/2009 7:58:43 PM

MOD MOD MOD MDO
whenever i get someting right in class the girls i went to primary school with make fun of make and call me teachers pet when one of the girls are more of a teachers pet then i will ever be and this is making me not try my best and awnser quesions ... PLEASE HELP

Hey girl! You should still talk in class, it doesn't matter what other people say. If these girls are hurting your feeling you should talk to them a teacher, parent, or counselor.

Eryn G.

lollypop09 on 9/15/2009 2:32:46 PM

MOD MOD MOD! MOD MOD MOD! MOD MOD MOD ! MOD MOD !
THANKS FOR ANSWERING MY QUESTION!
i told carsen and pagie my fealings at the sleepover and they said they worked really hard on the sleepover planning and they dont understand why i dont like it. i realize i have 2 make up with them. how do i do that kindly?
thanks!

No problem Just tell them that you felt left out but then realized that you overreacted. Just let them know you made a mistake. They'll listen. Good luck xoxo kerra

Kerra S.

jbeny on 9/13/2009 12:16:05 AM

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD OMG MOD!!!!!!!!!!!PLZ ANSWER!!!!!!
Dear mod,
ok, so i have 2 friends that r 2 years younger than me. 1 of them ive know 4 a long time, but she (carsen) always makes me mad. then about 2 years ago another girl also 2 years younger (pagie)than me became part of ur group. sometimes they made me mad, but most of the time everything was ok. all untill they had an 80's supprise party sleepover with me 1 day. i got mad cause they made it a huge deal and didnt tell me anything and left me out. i just wanted a layed back sleepover with all of us and it turned out 2 b a huge thing. in the end, we had some fights and stuff. that day by 8:30pm i said i wanted 2 go home. then everything heated up and carsen started 2 favor pagie over me. so i said maybe i shouldnt b friends with them anymore cause they r younger than me and get me mad plus i have other friends. then carsen burst into tears and had a crying fit and i left. i couldnt take them anymore. what should i do?
PLZ HELP!!! MOD!!!

If these girls are really your friends you can't just give up on them. Explain to them how you felt about the sleepover. Tell them all your feelings. Try to work things out and give them another chance. But if it doesn't change at all then you should consider giving up. Good luck! xoxo kerra

Kerra S.

jbeny on 9/12/2009 11:41:39 PM

MODMODMODMOD HELP!!! A snob is moving in on my BFF!!! I've tried being friends with her, but all she does is ask, "Where's Erika?" (my BFF's name is Erika) or just talk about her. She's obsessed with Erika, she even took her down to the beach over the summer. She's a total snob, though! I don't know what to do! I don't want her to steal my BFF, especially cause she's a snob, but I don't want to seem really clingy or anything. Today the snobby girl tried to cut me off to get to my BFF, but I stood my ground and didn't let her. Was I right? I mean I'm fine with Erika having other friends and all, but this girl is really shallow and stuck-up, and I don't want my bestie to gt hurt. HELP ASAP PLEASE

Hey girl, nope sounds like you're doing the right thing to me. You don't want your friend to get hurt by thinking she's friends with someone who is only pretending to be sincere and honest. Talk to your best friend and tell how you feel about your friendship and her friendship with the other girl. Also think about this. She may seem like a snob to you, because you don't know her. Maybe you could sched a girls night out for the three of you. This way you'll get to hang with your BFF and get to know the other girl.

Lynae P.

gatorbabe16 on 9/11/2009 10:28:11 PM

i swear guys hate me

PurpleEarl on 9/11/2009 9:56:11 PM

MOD!
Okay so my two "best friends" are now hanging out with two other girls. It's not like I don't like them or anything, but my best friends don't seem like BFFs anymore. They both only talk to me when the other two girls aren't around. They're leaving me out of stuff more and more. I've tried talking to them and including myself but it doesn't work. What should I do?

Hey babe,

Try hanging out with some other friends for awhile and giving your bffs space to make new friends. It's normal for people to grow apart over time and want to do different things with different friends. Keep planning things for the three of you to do together, but don't try to control who they hang out with. Being friendly with their new friends is also a good idea so they don't feel like you're making them choose between you.

xoxo Allie

Allie S.

GLiz_Dancer on 9/11/2009 7:39:49 PM

mod mod mod
ihave 2 questions.
#1 my friend &i got into a fight and we didn't talk for awhile and she started talking to me again but i relized that i dont want to be her friend anymore what should i do??
#2 i think i need a bigger bra size but how can you tell?

Hey girl, give your friend a chance. It's easy in an argument to let emotions get ahead of you. However, if things don't work out after a couple weeks, try distancing her bit-by-bit. Stick to your other girlies. Hang out with her less but always be polite. She'll take the hint. As for two, it all comes down to bra measurement. Have your mother measure the area for you or even go to a bra store and have a sales associate help. Bra sizes are important to get right. The prob is most people don't, but professionals are there to help you!

xoxo

Alyssa B.

simile-emily on 9/10/2009 7:39:49 PM

*MODERATOR*MODERATOR*MODERATOR*
My best friend "Anne" is really nice girl. But whenever we are doing anything, or even when we're not, she can't have her own opinion. It's irritating to have her ask me questions like, "Are you doing Improv Club?" I'll say "Nope" and then that's what she says! I can't have my own opinion. She even changes what she's saying to match what I think about it. I feel like I'm talking to an obedient robot or something! I have tried talking to her, but she starts right up again. Any suggestions? Thanks.

Hey girl, it bites when friends change their opinions to fit yours. Chances are Anne just wants to impress you. Try asking Anne a Q next time and have her answer first before giving your response -- or better yet, give a response and then change it and see if she changes it too. If she does, tell her gently "it's okay to have your own opinion. We can agree to disagree." If she still follows your lead, be more frank. Tell her you want to hear what she thinks. She should understand. Sometimes people just want to know it's okay to be themselves before they can be.

xoxo

Alyssa B.

Ar~Ee on 9/9/2009 11:28:41 PM

mod!
ever since school started i have a lot of my friends in my classes. it is hard to hang out with all of them! and my friend keeps talking to me in class and i keep etting in trouble! what should i do!

Hey, def talk to your friend about keeping the convo until after classes so you keep outta trouble. Just keep it honest with your friends and let them know when you're hanging out with another group...they'll respect your honesty. Make sure you're spending enough time with each of them though.

katelin s.

iloveicarly1 on 9/8/2009 9:05:17 PM

*MOD*MOD*
K I have a really hard questions please answer for me! So I'm wondering wut I should do about my friends! I don't know if there real or not. Long story short I have four friends we have been friends since we were 5,6,7, and 8 in age order me, ray, mar, kay anyway we were all close ray has always lived a half hour away but the rest of us lived close until i moved an hour away and then so did mar when i was 8 and mar was almost 10. Anyway that put a strain on kay and mars friendship who have always been the closest so ray noticed and became best buds with mar. That left me and kay so we became best friends and she stayed at my house as often as i could talk her into it (she wouldnt invite me over but I could rarely ever get her to stay at my house unless i invited myself to stay at her house occasionally)and we would hang out and get hyper anyway so now were in our teens and suddenly kay seems distant. I can't get her over to my house can't hang out cuz she keeps canceling our plans and then I find out its ray! She and kay are best friends! Before that ray had already been a little mean to me calling me names worse and more often than wut she called mar and kay, so i kinda tried to avoid her. BUT NOW shes kays best friend! Every time I get a survey on email from either of them ray says kay and mar are her best friends (wheres me) and kay says ray is her best friend. What happened!?!?! Ray recently asked why she couldnt see an about me page on my msn and i told her cuz i didnt want very many people to see it so she said DUMB DUMB LET ME SEE IT so then made so nobody could see it and said there now nobody can see it so u wont feel left out so shes like dumber make so i can see it so i say why so u can make fun of it? and she says ya so then i said thats why i dont show u it then she says lol im jking. So the convo goes on and she's says don't be mad and i'm like i'm not mad i'm just wondering why u wont tell me why you don't like me and she says cuz i don't lie. So then she brings up how i am blunt and I say at least when I'm blunt then if i found out it hurt somebodies feeling I try to make it okay unlike you(when i was little i was way blunt to the point of meanness i have gotten better and work on it everyday) She has done several jokes on me such as pretending to be her brother (whom I dislike) on her msn and then said jk like it would make it okay then she pretended to be at kays house one night and got online and was like im at my friends house and her brothers making popcorn! but she wasnt at kays house! and said jk both times i got mad and shes like chill it was just a joke. It's not a joke for me. I don't know, do I deserve this treatment? Is she a friend stealer? I am afraid to be friends with mar because ray might take her away and then kay might want to be my friend again. When ray took mar away me and kay talked about it and she agreed that ray took away friends like that now I think maybe kay takes friends away too. Am I a friend user? Are they? Mod I'm so sorry that this is so long but I am so sick of this I don't know what to think. Should I just ditch them and get new friends? Please help!

Hey girl. Sound like that's a pretty complicated situation. If these friends are making you feel left out then i suggest you get new friends. You need friends who will bring you up and make you happy. Good luck. xoxo kerra

Kerra S.

jojo85 on 9/5/2009 9:55:51 PM

MODMODMODMODMODMOD!!!!!!!!! okay so i have my BFFL and she and i are really close. i love her to death. but she's a little dramatic. It's gotten so bad that she feels suicidal. (she has a counselor now)but i'm not sure what to say to her. she always talks about herself and i don't want it to seem like i don't care about her. and also she acts like i hav don NOTHING for her. FALSE i'm always there when she has an emotional problem. if her asthma acts up i'm always there until i'm positive she's alright. i also helped her when hshe turned her ankle at a camp we went to together. i gave her my pillow and helped her with getting her dinner. i guess that im focusing on her alot. how doi get onto the subject of some of my problems? when i finally get on the subject she always says "i don't know" and then relates it to her problems. i don't want to say anything mean to her..i don't want to hurt her. what do i do? (she also acts really crazy around her crushes...and always talks about them....sorry this is so long!!!!)

Hey girl, it's really important that you just be there for your BFFL right now. She's going through a lot, so it may put more stress on her if you tell her about your problems. And even though, it's a little annoying, she does need someone who she can spill all her problems to, so just keep being the best friend you are. Try writing your feelings down or find another trusted friend, to tell your problems to right now. Hope this helps!

Lynae P.

ttlycutiepie15 on 9/4/2009 9:56:26 PM

MOD i have a bff(i call her aly) she calls me ugly.She said that she calls me and my bff ( I call he blanca)Ugly becuse shes tired of me and other girls thinking they are pretty.Then she thinks its alrite to make jokes about her friends.I havent been able to get in contact with her all summer but when we go bac to skool on tuesday i want to know if were gonna be friends or not

Hey girl! You should tell your friend that you don't like it when she makes fun of you. She might not know that you don't like it, so you should tell her before you ditch your friendship. On the first day of school you can ask her how her summer was to break the ice. You can always hang with your other friends. Have a good first day!

Eryn G.

watergal47 on 9/4/2009 1:08:52 PM

MOD!!!!!!!!!
i have these friends who constantly ditch me to hang with this girl(girl a) instead. we hung out all the time till girl a moved here. now my two old best friends hang with girl a and leave me behind. I've talked to them about it and how it hurts my feelings and stuff and all they say is that they still like hanging out with me but they would rather hang with girl a, which is totally like not fair to me. it's not like I'm a social butterfly or anything so this is a tough thing cause it's not like I'm one of those people that can make friends real fast. girl a moved here like two years ago and I've put up with this for like that long and i really don't think i can stand much more of it. what can i do now? I'm so lost i hate not having any friend to ask for advice and i really still want to be their friend but they take advantage of me and they are never there to support me when i need them. i have one friend (who is not one of the two above) that has stuck with me through every thing but idk if she will stick with if i totally separate myself from everyone else. so idk what to do that won't leave me by myself and really friendless without even my half friends. sorry it's so long!
-thanks

sneakergirl on 8/31/2009 3:35:49 PM

MOD!!!
There's this one girl at school (I'll call her K) who was a total jerk to me last year. She called me , she tried to sit next to my BFF when I wanted to, she was totally spoiled, and while we got along at some points, most of the time it was a big fight.
There's another girl at school (I'll call her C) who was really funny and nice last year. She was my friend when I was new, and she gave me funny advice that I never took seriously. We were good friends all the time.
Well, C changed her name over the summer. Now, C only hangs out with K! She acts like I'm not there. Whenever I told her that I got a boyfriend, she just acted super jealous. She says that K is a way better friend than me, and says that K is a mini-her. My thoughts? C's being a mini-K. And I don't want that to happen! She WAS a super nice girl, but she's just being a jerk to me now, just like K was last year. I want to be her friend, but she obviously doesn't care about me. I really want to sit with her alone and tell her how I feel, but K will never leave her alone, and C doesn't return my phone calls. Just because we aren't in the same class doesn't mean that she has to ignore me, right???
Please help me!!!

Hey girl,

Why don't you write C a note and tell her that you miss her for who she was and ask her if she'd want to hang with you one on one

Caitlin R.

MathGirl98 on 8/30/2009 3:20:33 PM

mod where do you go to write an article

Hey girl,

If you want to send stuff in, you can go to CONTACT US...but if you wanna start writing your own stuff, start a mag at your school or join the school paper.

Caitlin R.

emzimrol on 8/30/2009 2:10:26 PM

mod i have a random question but how can you ask different questions and write your own story like the very top without commenting?

Hi babe,

Are you talking about writing an article? Try contacting us here for more information: http://www.girlslife.com/page/contact.aspx

xoxo Keltie

Keltie E.

emzimrol on 8/29/2009 1:05:51 PM

MOD! Whenever my BFF comes over we always fight and i dont want it to happen again. when we do fight she always gets mad at me. what can i do?!

Hi babe,

First, you need to get to the root of why you're fighting and sort out your differences. This will make your friendship stronger and your BFF will stop getting mad at you.

xoxo Keltie

Keltie E.

emzimrol on 8/29/2009 12:56:07 PM

MODMODMODMODMDO!
someone in my class keeps talking about me behind my back, making indirect comments about me, and on her instant messenger (which she isn't supposed to have) making comments like, "i hope some ppl dont act like idiots!" i was trying to figure out what to do. should i say comebacks? and what if i have tried talking to her, the principal indirectly talked to our class about this sort of thing and it just gets worse?

Hey babe,

If you've talked to her about it and she's still being passive aggressive, you're going to have to decide not to let it bother you and ignore her. If you don't react to her, she might stop doing it.

xoxo Allie

Allie S.

Bridgge2010 on 8/28/2009 6:20:55 PM

someone in my class keeps talking about me behind my back, making indirect comments about me, and on her instant messenger (which she isn't supposed to have) making comments like, "i hope some ppl dont act like idiots!" i was trying to figure out what to do. should i say comebacks? and what if i have tried talking to her, the principal indirectly talked to our class about this sort of thing and it just gets worse?

Bridgge2010 on 8/28/2009 6:14:20 PM

MODMODMODMODMOD!!!
what if i have tried talking to her, the principal indirectly talked to our class about this sort of thing and it just gets worse?

Hey babe,

Can you remind me what's this about? I can help you better if I know all the details.

xoxo Allie

Allie S.

Bridgge2010 on 8/28/2009 5:49:39 PM

MODMODMODMODMOD!
this person in my class whispers to on of my friends after I say something. I tried saying "If you're going to say something, you might as well say it out loud...Abigail." and she said, "i was telling her that you wouldn't talk to me." she had whispered like that before and i don't think that she would whisper the same thing over and over. she is also making comments like when we went back to school and said what we did over the summer, i said i went to a car show somewhere, and then the next class she said her "daddy" was going to get her a car (about 1 and a half weeks ago!) and she is still making comments like that! do you know any good, quick, and not offensive remarks/comebacks i can say that would take her aback?

Hey babe,

don't stoop to her level! Next time she does something like that, take her aside and have a one on one conversation about what your issues are.

xoxo Allie

Allie S.

Bridgge2010 on 8/28/2009 5:36:11 PM

MOD!?!?!?!?!
ok so i have this one "friend" who doesn't really like me and i don't like her. but, all my friends hang with her so i really don't have a choice. but, for a while now they have been ditching me to hang with her at parties I'm not invited to cause they are at her house. should i look for new friends all together or should i wait it put. they've been doing this for almost half a year and they are always like normal when i see them face to face but like they are mean when they text and they bail on me a lot.

Hey girl! It sounds like your friends aren't being very real with you. Try talking to them and explaining how you feel. But if they continue to ditch you and don't seem to care how you feel, it's time to move on to new besties! You'll be better off without them.

Jess H.

sneakergirl on 8/28/2009 3:02:52 PM

MOD
so today i went to the mall with one of my best friends. she got a text from a former friend of mine (who is now apparently really mad at me for no particular reason) that says, "what is up with you, i thought you weren't a fan of her?!?!" so my friend shows me this and reassures me that of course she is a "fan" of me. should i trust either of these girls? and also, how should i deal with this girl when i get back to school? i don't know if i should confront her about why she doesn't like me or just ignore her.

Hey babe,

I think you can def trust the girl who showed you the text. she's being honest with you. With the other girl, it's not so much about trust. If she's mad at you, you can either try talking to her or avoiding her.

xoxo Allie

Allie S.

xxtwilightdancerxx on 8/25/2009 8:54:18 PM

Mod
i used to have two really great friends. One of them was my age (friend A) and the other was other was a year older (friend B) They were both friends be for. Well be and friend A had a ton in common and we got super close. (we ate dinner over each others houses almost every night and my mom watched her after school. Well friend B started getting jealous and we got into a fight. all of our parents got into a fight also. She hates me now. Me and friend A has recently started being friends again. I just started middle school so I see a lot f friend B. She tells me how friend A doesnt want to be my friend and how friend A hates me. i told her to stop a thousand times but she wont. What should I do?

Hey babe,

You know that friend B has been jealous in the past so don't let her get to you. she's probably still hurting and trying to make herself feel better. If you ignore her she'll probably stop eventually.

xoxo Allie

Allie S.

bichonmo123 on 8/25/2009 6:21:08 PM

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ok so lik a month ago my Best FRIEND EVER lik insanely my best friend, we both liked the same guy. i had liked him for three months and she knew this, then she was like, "I like him and im going to ask him out!" i was close to tears cuz she was like "when me and eric go out we r gonna be the cutest couple!" and i was lik "UHhhh hello? do i even exist anymore?????" then i wrote him a note saying that i was srry all of this was going on and all this drama was happenin cuz by then sum lil birdy let it slip that we both liked him, and she stole it out of my bookbag and changed it so it said frum rachel instead of frum me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i asked him out and he said no so the next day i was kinda bummed u know and she knew this and she asked him out right in front of me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and he said yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! then on the bus she was like "Dont be sad!" and i was like OMW U R A MEANY! and she started yelling at me! i have forgiven her bc everyone was like "forgive her" so i did but now they broke up and shes still lik all clingy to him and me and him r lik bffs now and she never lets me talk to him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what shuld i do?!? pleez!!!!!!! and also shes always yellin at me and ill say something back trying to be calm and she tells everyone i was yelling at her! she blames everything she does on pms and im lik u dont have pms every day of ur life ok?!? pleez help. i wanna save our friendship but i dont think its possible with her screamin at me and putting all my feelins aside! pleez help anybody.

Hey girly! Tricky sitch! I would try talking to her one-on-one and getting all your feelings out there! If she's really your true BFF, she'll understand!

-Taeler

Taeler L.

Auntie Sum-Sum on 8/25/2009 4:07:59 PM

***MOD*** My high school orientation is tomorrow. I was planning to go with my friend but now she's saying that she has to go to her mom's work then her mom is gonna go to the orientation and then go back to work. Now I can't go because I don't have a ride. If I don't go then I'll be lost when I go to school that first day. What do i do now?

Hey girly! See if you can tag along to her mom's work. If not, try to find another way to get there! If all fails, I'm sure there will be plenty of people around to help you that first day! Don't worry!

-Taeler

Taeler L.

evercole95 on 8/25/2009 3:28:11 PM

I REALLY WANT A PEN PAL IF YOU WANT ONE TOO POST A COMMENT ON MY PROFILE THANKZ!!!

Myrriah on 8/25/2009 11:13:51 AM

great advice GL! keep it up!

flowerpower29 on 8/25/2009 6:53:50 AM

Hmm..thank gawd my friends aren't like any of these examples - usually they're clinging to me!

pollyheartsthemaine on 8/24/2009 10:26:29 PM

Hey girls! Want to join the perfect club? Then sfcfc(super fab club for chicas) is right for you. The club has polls, quizzes, and more advice than anywhere else. Join sfcfc today! Oh, and the smiley face is part of the name.

Inky23 on 8/24/2009 8:43:38 PM