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Backstab-O-Meter

Second-Pick Pal

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So you and your girl had some probs when she got a new BFF but you’ve decided to forgive and forget. She invites you to a sleepover and you’re ready to have fun, but then that BFF of hers tells you you’re her second choice. You were only invited because her BFF couldn’t make it. Ouch! How do you deal?

  I have this so-so friend. I've been to her house a couple times before for sleepovers. Recently she got a new BFF and we’ve been fighting, but I was getting over that so when my friend invited me over for a sleepover, I agreed to go. But the next day at school, her BFF told me about how the only reason I was invited over was because she couldn't make it. It was really rude and I don’t like that I’m her alternate!  

BFF Fix-it: Sounds like your friend’s new BFF sees you as competition. Don’t go believin’ everything she tells you. Talk to your friend and let her set the record straight. She was prob just as excited to hang out as you were to catch up after so long. But if it seems like she does prefer her new friend, so be it. You and this girl can still be friends, but let that motivate you to hang out with some other girls too and not feel attached to just one first!  

TELL US NOW! Are you dealing with a backstabbing BFF? Vent it out and we'll try to fix your sitch! Click the blue SUBMIT YOUR OWN button and we'll help you erase that evil sistah, ASAP.

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BY CAITLIN R. ON 8/24/2009 7:00:00 AM 17 COMMENTS

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17 READER COMMENTS

that happened to me! I'm bff with my friend who I've known since i was 1/2 a year old. now in 6th grade, shes always putting me down when shes around her other friends, but super nice when its just me. it really bugs me!!!

h135 on 11/15/2009 5:21:48 PM

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD
me nd my BFFL have been friends since we were 3! now she has a new friend and she acts like a total to me when shes around her! she claims that its just cuz they're buds now. but its starting to get to me, and shes trying to make me break up with my bf cuz i talk about him sometimes. she says that whenever i have a boyfriend she doesnt like shes all "omg u have to break up with him NOW" and im like.. i dont think so.. and she does that ALL the time and never acts like a bff to me! how can i tell her that with her acctually LISTENING to me and not saying "omg erin seriously? ur dumb" EERRGGHH! she makes me so frustrated!! >:{} HELP ME PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE THNX A BUNCHES!!
XXOOerinOOXX ILY!

Hey girl! This girl might be jealous of you, try not to talk about your bf when you are around her. Stick to neutral subjects like school or music. You can also talk to her and tell her how you feel, just so that she realizes it.

Eryn G.

xxlil-tk-girlxx on 10/30/2009 1:05:30 AM

MOD!! Three of my friends didn't have a group to go to homecoming with, so I was going to invite them to join mine. But my so-called best friend doesn't like them and threatened to leave the whole group because she doesn't like one of the girls. I invited them anyway, and told my best friend that I really, really wanted her there, too. Have I done anything wrong? Because I know my best friend is going to tell me that I need to apologize because I did something wrong. Thanks!

That was so sweet of you to invite the girls without a group! You didn't do anything wrong! If you feel like you hurt your one friends feelings by inviting the others without asking the her first, you could tell her you're sorry if you offended her, but you want to include everyone! You want everyone to have fun at Homecoming and all get along!

Megan R.

singtomysoul713 on 10/18/2009 4:25:00 PM

Wow. Im sorry

Syssa98 on 10/11/2009 2:08:22 PM

OUCH!!
i've had some experiences likee that! :[

reggee on 9/18/2009 12:02:30 AM

I had this "BFF" and she totally dumped me in the garbage,left me hanging,returned me like a library book, whatever u wanna call it. We were bffs but then she met this new girl and they became bffs. im ok with that but it kinda hurt. me and the new girl are gret friends now but i used to be jelous of her. Now im ok with her back stabbing me cuz now i hav WAAAAAAYYYYY better frineds.

punkprincess19 on 9/10/2009 9:03:14 PM

HEYYYYYYY GIRLIES!!!
its JuliaWu here and im here to give ANY advice u ask me. i wont just ignore it, ill fix it the best i can! ill contact u ASAP and all u have to do is ask me on my profile. i check my profile like 3 times a day so ill DEFINETLY get to ur question! im here to help all the girlies out there!!!!!!!

JuliaWu

JuliaWu on 8/31/2009 12:09:58 AM

MODMODMODMOD!
but what if i have tried talking and writing a note to her and she won't talk to me and says things on her instant message like "and i hope ppl don't act like idiots!" and i don't really want to be her friend again because i have also given her many chances to be friends again even after she told the girls and my best friend at the middle school to "not talk to me" or "she is out of the group."

Hey girl,

Write her another handwritten note and pop it on her locker or send her an email that says while the two of you can't be friends, you wish you could at least be nice and civil towards each other. If that doesn't work, just IGNORE her.

Caitlin R.

Bridgge2010 on 8/30/2009 7:41:58 PM

yeah i had the same thing happen to me! me and my bff for 5 years grew apart. and i met another girl who became my new bff.well when i started connecting with my old bff the two of them hated eachother. finally after a year of not talking to one another they had a class together, then they became bffs and left me out of it. i ended up getting into a fight with my friend about it. we didnt talk for over 5 months. finally when we did talk we realized we were both in the wrong.

rcoop on 8/30/2009 7:21:10 PM

MODMODMODMODOMDMODMODMOD!
there is this girl in my class who I used to be friends with until one time on the internet we got into a big fight about 4 months ago. We haven't really spoke since and on the day school began, it all started. We go to a pretty small school where there is only 10 people in the 8th grade and in homeroom, i said how I went to a car show during the summer. The next class, we were talking about what we did over the summer too. This girl was sitting right next to me and said, when it was her turn, that her dad was going to buy her a show car so she could make money! I got really frustrated when she said that! You can't even make money by showing cars! She is still been saying things like that and it has been about 2 weeks ago! She is also doing things, like when we had to do safety partol, everyone else had signed up, if they could, and it was only me and the other girl left. She said she HAD to babysit and her mom would get mad if she was late and I said I had to finish my 4-H records. Right after I said that she leans over and whispers something to Haley. She has been trying to be better than me, i think. I am worried about what she will say or do next. I have tried talking to her and I can't ignore her because we go to such a small school. Should I tell a teacher? I don't know what to do?!?!

Hey girl,

Why not try writing her a note where you apologize, mature and respectfully for the fight and say that you wish you two could be friends again? If you feel like that doesn't work and she's harassing you, then you should tell a teacher.

Caitlin R.

Bridgge2010 on 8/30/2009 7:06:56 PM

that is like the same story is my "Best friend" she was such a back stabber.

13Jazz on 8/27/2009 10:19:50 AM

HHHHEEEEYYYYYY CHICKAS!!!!!!!!!
I’ll MOD for anyone who needs any help. If any of you guys need advice, I’M ALL EARS!!! Just post a comment on my profile and I will reply ASAP since I check my profile like 3 times a day LOLZ.

Come check out the polls posted at the bottom of “My Healthy You Profile” section on my profile and comment on it so I know what your choice is! Don’t worry this is not a club. It’s just something fun to do and you can see what other girls say too!

musicrox on 8/26/2009 3:27:37 PM

musicrox on 8/26/2009 3:26:32 PM

aaawww so sad check out my profile!!

~*Brook!e~*10 on 8/25/2009 8:33:31 PM

ya i think all shes trying to do is make u jealous. its happened to me before so i think i know how the other new BFF acts....

cutieme03 on 8/24/2009 5:58:54 PM

Ouch! I would make it clear to your "friend" that you're nobody's second choice. And that if she wanted you over, she should have asked you first. And then I wouldn't go to her stupid sleepover.

BubbaleeEmalee123 on 8/24/2009 3:38:48 PM

That sucks, im sorry! but yeah maybe her new BFF does see u as competition and just said that to make u feel bad so it may not be true

Check out my profile girls, and please leave a comment, thanks!

SportyGal on 8/24/2009 8:19:50 AM