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I have a problem. There’s this woman my mom is really good friends with, and her daughter goes to my school, but she’s a grade younger than me. So because my mom’s friend is divorced and working several jobs, we drive her daughter (let’s call her Anna) everywhere. The problem is...I CANNOT STAND THIS GIRL!

She’s too shy to hang out with any of my friends, and she’s a perfectionist that will not settle for anyone being better than her. She insists on being polite to the point where it gets obnoxious (she gets mad if someone holds the door open for her), and whenever someone complains about something, she insists that her life is so much worse. Whenever someone brags about something, she insists she’s got better, and she cannot take criticism, constructive or not. She cringes whenever I bring up anything remotely mature (I talked about two of my friends who liked each other in front of her, and she was all “Ew! Ew! Ew! Shut up! Ew! Gross!”).

Anna is a seventh grade girl. We have NOTHING in common! NOTHING! Yet I am forced to hang out with her. And she’s so incredibly touchy! Sometimes my family will go over there for dinner, and I spent a lot of time talking to her older sister who I get along with great, and she and I teased her a little bit, and somehow she read into it. She wrote me this long letter saying how she was sorry she was burdening me with her friendship, and she would try and avoid me as much as possible in the future. And the thing was…I was relieved. But my mom forced me to work it out, and now Anna and I are friends again. I don’t think it’s a fault of either of us. We don’t fight, other than that letter. I just find her such a misery to be with. Plus, she kicks—hard. Whenever someone criticizes her or teases her even jokingly, or talks about something she finds “inappropriate”, or decides they have a crush on her, she kicks them. I feel like I should wear shin guards when I’m around her.

I also feel my patience wearing thin, and I’m afraid one of these days it’s gonna snap. I’m sorry this is so long, and I’m sorry I sound like a total complainer, but I’m fed up! I tried talking to my mom, but she just told me to deal with it. Please! I don’t know what to do!

-Strawberry '

With all the differences between you and Anna, she’s probably as unhappy being forced to hang out with you as you are. Because of your moms’ friendships, though, you will both have to put up with each other. So try to find some common ground, maybe a movie you both like or a store you both like to shop at. She probably won’t ever be your best friend, but finding something that you can both like and agree on might make your time together more tolerable.

If she does brag or behave in a way that upsets you, try to talk to her in a calm and polite manner about why it bothers you. She might not realize how her actions seem to others. Being mean to her or complaining about her will probably only frustrate your mom. Just always keep in mind that you can’t change the situation, so try to make the best of it.

, Andie

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BY CAITLIN R. ON 8/26/2009 7:00:00 AM 29 COMMENTS

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EXACT! same prob. except im not friends with her older sista and im in grade 5 and she is grade 4

dolcecupcakes on 1/15/2010 9:49:41 PM

MOD!
There is this really really really annoying guy in my class who is in all the advanced classes (and doesn't understand anything) and who makes random chicken noises, and he's really short and immature, and he has a high squeaky voice and thinks he's all that and he wears striped (preppy) shirts and shorts, and he wore the same pair an entire week one time! And he never takes a shower and licks his textbooks during class and he... anyway, (lol) he is really annoying and I have to sit next to him in 2 classes and he bugs me... what do I do???

Hey babe! Try seeing if you can switch seats! You could always ask your teacher after class. Just tell her he's distracting and you'd do better if you sat away from him. Good luck!

Megan R.

mini_girl on 9/27/2009 12:34:17 PM

wow. thats probably REALLY REALLY ANNOYING

Ilovetwilight1479 on 9/2/2009 4:15:43 PM

i know what you mean! my next door neighbor is a year younger than me and my mom makes me hang out with her because she so "lonly" which i agree is totally true because no one would like to hang out with her! She's boring, immiture, and we have nothing in common! She looks like a nerd and acts like one 2! Plus it feels like i'm hanging out with one of my little sisters because she is so dorky. when she calls i don't answer and when she text i dont reply. We met no to long after the summer and she wont leave me alone!!!!! I wish that one day she will realize how much i dislike being with her but out of kindness for her lonelyness i still agree to hang out with her. I know that when i start highschool next year we will be more distant and i cant wait for that moment to come!!!!!! I know i sound evil but if you liked to spend your summer days alone but hang out with her because you fell sorry for her and your mom makes you, then you will feel my pain!!!!!!!

claranetgirl123 on 9/1/2009 2:26:49 AM

same prob,

prima5 on 8/31/2009 11:46:18 PM

That sounds like a really tough situation, and I know wat you mean. I've definitely dealt with clingy, immature people b4. The best advice is just to try to distance yourself. Don't be mean at all, but just slowly try to spend less time with that person. Try talking to your mom about how difficult this friendship is for you. Maybe she'll help you out by not planning things for you and this girl as often. Good luck girlie!

ShopperSoccerGurl on 8/31/2009 8:55:13 PM

Try talking to her mom! Hope everything goes ur way! !!!1

degrassilover on 8/31/2009 3:59:45 PM

MOD MOD MOD I might dye my hair blond soon, but my friend told me if you dye your hair too much at a young age your hair will fall out and she was saying stuff like "Ur gonna be bald by the time your 30 if you dye your hair." Is this true, or is she just trying to scare me?

Hey girl,

That is not true, but you do have to be careful that your hair doesn't get too dryed out when you dye it. It's best not to dye it too often, just touch up your roots ever so often.

Megan P

Megan P.

jonasNtwilight3 on 8/31/2009 11:36:49 AM

**************MOD************************* I used to be really quiet and I had no backbone. I decided to become more hard on people so that they wont hurt me. I think that I'm getting a bit too mean because I laugh when people insult my BFF and I beat people up alot. I'm really afraid that my friends will start to hate me for it. I also never get excited for them. Like they'll tell me good news and I'll get jealous and try to show off. I really wish that I would be nice like I used to. Will you help me please?

Hey girlie,

It sounds like you used to allow yourself to get hurt rather than stand up for yourself. It seems like now you've taken the tough girl thing a wee bit far. But good for you for recognizing there's a problem! Try to put yourself in other people's shoes. If someone is insulting your BFF, be the tough girl and defend them (without getting physical). Tell them it isn't funny and tell them to leave your BFFs alone. It will make you feel good sticking up for them (and you). Just be careful with your anger.

Megan P.

Megan P.

aussie1300 on 8/31/2009 4:58:42 AM

i no this is really off-topic, but whats with that picture ? ? ? ? ? it's really giving me the creeps ! LOL

jonasNtwilight3 on 8/30/2009 2:40:46 PM

***********************MOD******************* I know this question is asked alot but i need help. my bff and i met this new girl and she joined our group (lets call her rhiannon). we became really close to her and we like her. a few days ago my bff and rhiannon began telling secrets that i couldnt hear. i asked my bff about it but she said that it was a secret. theyve been having playdates all the time and hav been making fun of me and it really hurts me. i spoke to my bff but she just said to get over it. i really need some help?

Hey girlie! Hmm...this is where girls can get a little tricky! Just keep being their friends and if they are saying things that's their problems. If they're having a playdate call up another cool girl from your class and ask her to hang out! Just try to ignore it!

-Taeler

Taeler L.

aussie1300 on 8/30/2009 6:29:59 AM

************MOD********************************* one of my best guy friends (lets call him jaden) has a new gf (lets call her michelle). jaden wants michelle to join our group so he can learn more about her which is great. michelle and i were once friends but we kinda didnt get along very well. she and all her friends like to hav fights, they hav 1 every day. none of the girls in our group want her in our group because of how mean she is. we will except her if jaden really wants her to join though. jaden found out that we dont want her in the group and now hes really mad at us. ive been trying to tell him that we will except her anway and that we only dislike her a bit but he just swears and then walks away. i really dont want to loose my good friend jaden so how do i make it clear that we will except her and that we r sorry????????????

Hey girlie! You just have to talk to him! Sit him down and really explain everything! And who knows if you decide to include Michelle a little, you might find out she was a great girl to accept into your group!

-Taeler

Taeler L.

aussie1300 on 8/30/2009 4:59:56 AM

**************************MOD******************** my bff is really upset coz me and my other bff hav breasts and we r both really skinny, the boys at school tease her and say shes flat chested and shes fat. she isnt fat and she doesnt hav a flat chest. my bff has been crying her eyes out after school. we've been trying to stop them from saying it but it wont work. how do i stop them from hurting my bff?

Hey girlie! Well, there's not much you can do besides stand up for your girl! Keep telling the boys to back off and reassure your BFF that she is beautiful and fabulous the way she is!

-Taeler

Taeler L.

aussie1300 on 8/30/2009 2:10:51 AM

my bffs neighbor is just like that. shes just sooo anoying!

alexislulu101 on 8/29/2009 7:54:23 PM

Hey chicas!!! Are you nervous or scared about going back to school??? Still trying to decide what to wear for the first day of school??? Are you worried about an old crush or a new guy at school??? Have you not seen friends in forever and can't wait until back to school??? Check out the newest club! Back 2 School Club. Check it out!!! Oh and we just got a new Head person categorey thing that you can ask questions too! So now we have Head of Guys, Head of Fashion, Head of Friends, Head of Nerves, and Head of Period. Come join in the fun! Check it out! Back 2 School Club!
Keltie E.

Back 2 School Club on 8/29/2009 4:37:46 PM

Andie's right you should just talk to her in a calm manner maybe she'll stop.COMMENT ON MY PRO!

actress96 on 8/29/2009 1:08:46 PM

MOD
I went for a 2 night sleepover at my friend's house with 4 other girls and they wrote a list of the kids they hate in our grade! I thought it was so bizarre and mean, that I told them that they were acting like the girls in the movie Mean Girls where they make fun of almost everyone outside of their click. I left for about a half an hour so that I wouldn't be associated at all, but I still feel like this could end really badly since they took pictures of the list! How can I make sure that my name stays out of this? I just KNOW that this will end up on facebook and everyone will think I helped write it since I was there too. Help! Thanks.

Hey girl, you did a really mature thing by leaving the party. If this does come onto Facebook or if they do talk about it, ignore them. The best thing to do with a rumor is to ignore it. You know the truth and that's all that matters.

Lynae P.

soccerbee683 on 8/28/2009 1:04:55 PM

dude i was a 7th grader last year and i was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayy more mature than her! i mean liking people! ive heard and talked about worse! which isnt even worse its life! jeez!

vana903 on 8/28/2009 12:36:42 PM

she does sound VERY immature for a seventh grader.i was a seventh grader last school year and im pretty sure i annoyed ppl but not like tht or tht bad.i feel bad for u tho.i can only immagine how tuff it is.

kaelyn on 8/27/2009 11:48:57 PM

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD My family, my Mom, Dad, Brother, Dog and I, currently reside in WA state. One of my parents got a promotion but if they accept it, it would require moving to Utah. I'm all for it, but I'd miss my Brother, he would live with my Aunt so he could finish his senior year. My parents said he could fly and see us all the time, but I'd still miss him. And I don't know how to tell my besties, Kendra and Danielle.

Hey girlie! Moving is def tough! But you can call your bro and see him as much as possible! It's hard but people do it all the time! As far as your besties go, they will understand. Make sure you tell them you'll always be there for them. And as a plus, you can always visit your bro and see your girls, too!

-Taeler

Taeler L.

i<3anton on 8/27/2009 11:32:57 AM

omg! that is soooo creepy. I KNEW SOMEONE JUST LIKE THAT.

she would kick me, she was in that grade, shes really shy but mean and self centered. she would bully me and no one wanted to hang out w/ me cus i was HER friend. they all thought i was mean. she always tried to put herself higher than others, especially in art. she always cringed at relationships. I had to get along with her for 7 years. When she left was the best year of my life. I got to open up to other people. That felt great.

I totally understand your stituation. Just make the best of it.

iamacityfarmgirl on 8/27/2009 10:55:27 AM

*****************MOD**************** my bff is being really difficult. my bf dumped me for her and hes been making it hard to stand her. she also is making all my exs fall inlove with her, its kinda annoying coz i think i might start to like one of my exs again. im used to guys liking me but now they r all saying that im ugly and shes hot and the best, its really hard to stand! will u plz help me??????????

Hey girlie! Sounds like a tough sitch! Try talking to your BFF. Explain your feelings and how its frustrating with her dating your exes. If she's really a true friend, she'll understand.

-Taeler

Taeler L.

aussie1300 on 8/27/2009 3:59:21 AM

Wow. You described that amazingly.

[xganzxalleinx] on 8/26/2009 7:08:49 PM

MOD MOD MOD
today my two friends asked me if i would ask out this boy i like. i said no, so they asked if they could do it for me. that's way out of my comfort zone, and its jsut not the kind of thing i do. but then they got mad at me because they said i never take any chances and i'm always trying to be a good girl, which isnt always true. but now they wont even talk to me. do you have any ideas on how to make them un-mad?? thx.

Hey girl, before we go into how to make up, just let know that your true friends will respect your decision in these kinds of situations. With that being said, talk to them. Tell them why you don't want to ask that guy out and see what they have to say. If they tell you you're never taking chances, then tell them you will when the time is right. Work it out one step at a time. <3 Jeannie

Jeannie L.

giraffesrock on 8/26/2009 6:49:00 PM

hmm maybe shes just jealous or she feels like u do and doesnt want to hang out with u. (not trying to be mean) but if she is kicking u, u should tell ur mom or ask Anna to stop!

cutieme03 on 8/26/2009 5:19:39 PM

HHHHEEEEYYYYYY CHICKAS!!!!!!!!!
I’ll MOD for anyone who needs any help. If any of you guys need advice, I’M ALL EARS!!! Just post a comment on my profile and I will reply ASAP since I check my profile like 3 times a day LOLZ.

Come check out the polls posted at the bottom of “My Healthy You Profile” section on my profile and comment on it so I know what your choice is! Don’t worry this is not a club. It’s just something fun to do and you can see what other girls say too!

musicrox on 8/26/2009 3:24:50 PM

Oh, that's tough. That girl sounds so obnoxious!!!!! Tell your parents why she bugs you so much and they'll fix it!!!!!

CHECK OUT MY PROFILE AND COMMENT!!!!!

eckogirl567 on 8/26/2009 11:03:05 AM

MOD MOD MOD

Sorry to bother you, but I posted a question and didn't get an answer... it's the first comment on this page. Thanks!

HeartOfSong on 8/26/2009 10:49:44 AM

MOD

This is gonna be long, sorry:

My best friend for 4+ years is driving me MAD. She is spoiled, rude to me and my parents (and hers!), controlling, and she thinks she is better than everyone!! We started taking theatre classes together, and she insists on treating me like I have no idea what I'm doing and trying to "help" me all the time (she was in a play there already, so suddenly she knows EVERYTHING about theatre). She's also a perfectionist, and I'm not. When I do something my way, she will make it "better". I don't even tell her what is bothering me... I am never this mean, and I'm usually far more mature than her. I just had to vent. May I please have some advice?

HeartOfSong on 8/26/2009 10:32:03 AM

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Forced Friends

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