My whole family is Catholic and expects me to go through confirmation soon. I have read about Catholicism and I have kept an open mind. But I’ve decided not to go through with it.
Since I don’t believe in their faith, my parents and brother say they are disappointed in me.
I know I need to stay true to my own values. What should I do?
Hey girl, this is a tough one. There are two topics that are almost always difficult to discuss: politics and religion. In both cases, especially the religion part, you have to follow your heart and stay true to yourself.
Of course, this is probably easier said than done, especially if the rest of your family believes in the same thing. But diversity is the spice of life! Just because you don’t necessarily agree with all of their beliefs, doesn’t mean you can’t all get along and discuss your differences maturely.
First, make sure your parents recognize that while you respect their beliefs, you just don’t exactly agree with all of them. If you explain why you’ve decided not to go through confirmation and give them specific reasons, I’m sure they'll be more respectful of YOUR views, too. More importantly, explain to them what you do believe in and why. This will also help them better understand you.
You should also point out the values that you and your fam DO share. Are you all hard workers? Do you all think it's way important to go green? Let them know that you're still YOU and you still share some of their views. The only thing that's changed is your religious beliefs, and that's only ONE section of your life.
At the end of the day, you can’t please everyone. So there are times when you may have to agree to disagree. When this happens, you could say, “Mom, I understand where you’re coming from and I respect your beliefs, but I don’t exactly agree. I hope you can respect where I’m coming from, too.” Who can argue with that?
Lots of love,
L’Oreal
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POSTED ON 9/1/2009 7:00:00 AM
POSTED IN 411 on family feuds, religion