Almost a year ago, I was feeling so bad and overwhelmed that I ran away to meet some guy I met on Facebook. I felt like I couldn't talk to anyone, and that everyone would just think my problems were stupid. My friends don't know what’s going on with me, and I wish they would just so they would stop piling all of their problems on top of mine.
It got to a point where I broke up with my boyfriend for no reason, freaked out at my best friend in the middle of gym class and walked out, and stopped talking to anyone. My ex noticed something was wrong so he told my guidance counselor who held a mini-intervention and diagnosed me with depression. My mom doesn't think there is anything wrong with me but has been noticing that I don't hang out with my friends anymore. She makes comments about my weight too which makes things worse. I'm not fat. That's what I try to tell myself, but sometimes I just can’t see it. A few of my teachers have suggested that I go to therapy, and I told my mom that I thought it was a good idea. She took me once, but she never followed through.
I just need someone to talk to that won't judge me like my family does. I feel bad all the time, and I don't like it. I want control over my life again, but I can’t get it. I feel like I'm going to fall off the planet any second. My life has changed so much, and I just want things back to normal. I feel like that will never happen. Please don't ignore this like everyone else has. I need someone to care.
-spiraling out of control
Hey sunshine, I’m so sorry to hear things aren’t looking so sunny-side up. The most important thing to realize, though, is that so many people care about you—more than you’ll ever know. Whether it’s your parents, guidance counselor, or friends in school, people want you to feel your best. Tell your parents you know something is wrong. Keep telling them or get your counselor to write a note—what’s going on is serious and they need to know how you feel. I think it's just hard for them to really understand the pain you feel on the inside. The people around you (‘rents included) want to help you, and it all starts with showing them what’s going on inside. You shouldn’t have to face what you’re going through alone. That said, I’ve come up with a list of tips that’ll help tackle your sitch:
-Don’t hide your feelings from your friends. They won’t know what’s wrong so they can’t help you. You don’t have to be the strong one. It’s okay to let go. You’ll find it’s a huge load off your shoulders and besides, we all get by with a little help from our friends. There may be a little distance now, but that can be easily fixed with a phone call. Be open with them and they’ll understand—true blue pals stick by each other no matter what! As for the Facebook thing, please remember that it's ALWAYS a bad idea to meet up with someone in person who you've met over the internet. They could be totally dangerous or different in person. Stick with your old pals. You’ve helped your friends with their problems in the past, now it’s their turn to help you.
-If you can’t see a therapist, reach out to the sources around you. You shouldn’t have to fight this battle alone, so see your guidance counselor regularly—they’re trained in psychology, call a teen hotline or vent her on GL when you just need an ear. Talk to your parents and tell them how important it is they carry through with letting you see a pro. If a therapist is making a difference, you should push to see one in combination with visits to your guidance counselor. Reach out to as many people as you can to build a big support system. These people will help prop you up when you’re feeling down.
-Be open and honest with your fam. Even though things may seem a little bit crazy, they love you and want you be happy inside and out—not just seem it on the outside. Tell them you need their help and support. Let your mom know those comments she makes about your weight hurt, not help. Don’t hide what you’re feeling. I know it’s so easy to, but it’ll feel better once you let it all out.
-Remember you are beautiful and try to keep a positive attitude. What’s happening to you isn’t your fault - sometimes you can’t control how you feel, the chemicals in your body do. You’re not the only person who is going through this and there is a solution. Be optimistic. In psychology, this is the self-fulfilling prophecy, kind of like the Little Steam Engine’s “I think I can! I think I can!” You can get through this. With a strong support system, you will.
Bottom-line, you’ll find that no one is ever really alone, and you’re not either. Take the hands that are just reaching out to you, and I promise things will get better. Set aside some time just for you: try to get a li'l exercise like running or grab a book to help clear your stress and relax. Be optimistic and look forward to the future. As they say, the night is always darkest before dawn. So many people love you, girlie. Just hold on a little bit longer. You’ll get to that cheery morning sun—and GL is here for you along the way.
Infinite xoxo’s,
Alyssa B.
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BY CAITLIN R. ON 9/8/2009 7:00:00 AM 60 COMMENTS