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Tough Stuff

Are my parents gonna ADOPT!?

 

I was on my parents' computer and the mail system was open. I saw something that caught my eye—it was a letter from my parents to some adoption people. It said that some girl would go great with our family.


I really don't want another sister and the worst part is that my parents are keeping it from me and my sis. I don't want to bring up the subject with my 'rents because I will get in sooo much trouble for reading their mail. But I can't ignore it and I'm upset. Please help!


Hey babe, this seems like a really overwhelming thing to be going through right now. It totally makes sense that you feel like your parents are hiding this from you and even worse that you feel bad for snooping through their mail. But keep in mind what the actual issue is and try not to let your other emotions get in the way.


You should def talk to your folks about this, without your sister present. Tell them that you accidentally saw their email when it was up on the computer. Let them know that you found the letter and tell them you're sorry if they feel like you invaded their privacy. Then, allow them to explain. Adoption is a very lengthy and complicated process so your parents probably didn't mention it to you or your sister until if and when it became a definite possibility. If it turns out they seriously are considering adopting another child, tell them how it makes you feel. Adding a new member to a family affects everyone and your option should and will make a difference to your parents. If it is something they really want to do then try to be as supportive and understanding as possible.


Bottom line: don't come to any conclusions about what you accidentally read until you've talked it out with your 'rents and have figured out the whole story. I'm sure everything will work out!

 
-Katie S.

GOT YOUR OWN TOUGH STUFF SITCH? CLICK HERE to submit your own problem to be answered on Girl Talk!

BY CAITLIN R. ON 9/15/2009 7:00:00 AM 38 COMMENTS

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38 READER COMMENTS

My family and I have foster cared for 3 children. There is one girl they matched us up with that we may be able to adopt! From the whole experience I have had, I learned a lot! You are really changing their life!

jujubean115 on 1/30/2010 9:41:24 AM

hey. Here's the thing, I can see that you might not want another member of the family, but think of this, it may pay off in the end. Yes, your parents shouldn't be keeping it from you. And hey, being adopted isnt that bad, im adopted. and by the way, itsnt it kind that you family is taking in another person who probably hasnt had a real family before? good luck

loram on 1/4/2010 7:15:27 PM

sweetie i was actually adopted. and i know you dont want another sister and maybe they wont adopt but for now try to think of the child they might adopt. her parents cant take care of her and she does need a home. i know it would be difficult but it might help you if you see the other point of view. but talk it out with your parents. good luck!

-Diana Marie
check out my profile and leave a comment! thnkx girlies!

Diana Marie on 10/22/2009 6:58:35 PM

nicee advice!!! just talk it outt andd your parents would probably understand how you feel!


best of luck!

( check out my profile girls feel free to post comments) SmileSmile <3

misher4 on 9/18/2009 4:29:47 PM

ur sooo lucky! i have one younger sister, and i've always wanted an older sibling! MY parents refuse to adopt because, me and my sister are getting older now! Frown

FMScheerleader on 9/16/2009 8:29:22 PM

****MOD****PLEASE HELP
I need some help, i don't know if this is considered an eating disorder or not. I'm naturally really thin, and I don't want to put on weight so I don't eat much for breakfast and I never eat my lunch at school. Food just isn't appealing anymore. I'm scared to tell my guidence counseller even though I really want to because I've been talking to her for awhile but she doesn't know. No one knows. Can you tell me if its a disorder or not? It would really help me out...




Hey babe,

If you're skipping meals, you should talk to someone about it. You might not be doing it on purpose, but it could still be seriously dangerous. Talk to your counselor and she'll be able to help you figure out what's going on and how you can keep yourself healthy.

xoxo Allie
Allie S.

summernight_dreams on 9/16/2009 7:55:09 PM

That's a tough one. But it could just be junk mail and nothing more. But if your parents are adopting that is actually a very good thing. That means that they are giving a kid that has nothing basically a home.

metallica_love1996 on 9/16/2009 6:22:44 PM

woww !!
goodd luckk!!

checkk out my profilee Smile)

ms naughty on 9/16/2009 6:47:38 AM

look on the bright side. now u will have a cute little sis. and if its a baby, you can baby sit!! babies r so cute.

PicturePerfect on 9/15/2009 10:30:03 PM

hey sorry girl. i know its my personal opinion but i would love LOVE if my rents adopted a kid. its a really nice thing to do for those kids and maybe the new sub won't be bad.

punkprincess19 on 9/15/2009 9:36:26 PM

aww i'm sorry girl. but i love the picture hehe! its so cute!

hugatree95 on 9/15/2009 9:15:55 PM

Hey Sweties!,


If you have mods that you need answers for ASAP,im your girl! Check out my profile and I'll answer as fast as I can!



♥ Love,Christina ♥

Coca-Cola Fan on 9/15/2009 9:14:15 PM

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD!!!
I NEED SOME SERIOUSE ADVICEE!! :[
okay i hav had my period for almost two weeks its only my second period and im worried. plus there is a lot of light brownn stuff is this normal?!! please reply im freaking out!!




Hey yes, the brown stuff is normal. It's just dried blood. Beginning periods can be a little weird so I wouldn't worry but def talk to your mom or doc to better understand what's happening to your bod. 
katelin s.

vampireelovee on 9/15/2009 9:13:08 PM

wow, that's got to be really hard. i think it'd be cool if my parents adopted-i'd love having another sibling, especially one from another country Smile

sunflowerlicious on 9/15/2009 9:08:12 PM

Wow, I think that parents that adopt are really cool. I mean there adopting a kid that doesn't have parents that give them love and attention that they need. Its soo cool.

alicespaperdoll on 9/15/2009 8:53:56 PM

Maybe it was just junk mail. Or you can come clean and ask your parents about it.


Check out my profile; I give the best advice!

Abriella123 on 9/15/2009 8:41:43 PM

MOD- My school is having the first dance of the year, and since it is my first high school dance, I am super excited Smile I have a dress and accessories and hair and stuff picked out, and me and my friends are all gonna look the same which is awesome Smile But, the thing is, my friends were talking about drinking before we leave. My friend's older brother agreed to get the alchohol, but the other thing is, I made a deal with my gramma that I wouldn't drink until I was legal or else she doesn't help me pay for college. So, that is pretty important to me. I have already told my friends that I won't be drinking, and I don't personally have any interest in it, but since they keep nagging, how can I say no in a way that doesn't make me seem like a dork? Thanks MOD!!

 

Hey girlie! Just say you're going to pass that night. I have friends that are way past the legal age and still don't drink. They just prefer not to. Just be strong and don't waiver from your choice!

-Taeler

Taeler L.

canadian_girl22 on 9/15/2009 8:17:20 PM

mod mod mod mod mod mod mod!!!! Please help!!!!! I think my rent are hiding something from me! The other day I was in the kitchen with them and my mom said something and my dad commented yeah and then i turn to my mom and she just say "Hi!" really like fakish like she was making sure i didnt know what was going on. its been happening alot and im starting to think they are going to like have another baby cuz i found like baby stuff and im starting to get really freaked out!!!!! if its not that i kinda want to know what they are hiding cuz i know its something. What should i do cuz i dont want to snoop or ask them cuz they will start thinking things. thx 4 the help!!!! xoxoxoxoxo

 

Hey girlie! The only way you can know for sure is to ask them! Tell them what you told me and that you just feel out of the loop! 

-Taeler

Taeler L.

lnm1996 on 9/15/2009 7:42:38 PM

MOD!!!!!!!!!! i cant take this anymore!! my mom yells waay to much. when my lil sibs dont do something she wants, she literallly says, and this is a quote: "I am your MOTHER! and you will OBEY!" its killing me! please help!!

 

Hey girlie! Moms can be tough! Just keep listening to her and trying to get through it. I know it's hard but it will blow over soon, I promise!

-Taeler

Taeler L.

angelfood123 on 9/15/2009 7:21:43 PM

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MDO MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD Ok so there are a few questions to this so it would be cool if you answered all of them! 1. Ok me and a friend made a club but we just can't get any members... do you know how to get a lot of members??? 2. Ok so i don't eat pig's and everyone makes fun of me for it. They are always "mmmmm Pig is soooo yummy" and I'm used to it now but it's still really annoying! how do I make them stop?? 3. There was this one girl that a few years we were REALLY good friends and then she still talked to me last year and stuff but this year If I say hi or something she would just be like hey and they walk away I mean I know she found new, more popular friends but why won't she even talk to me? she used to be really nice. Thank you!!!!!!! and sorry it's so long and there are 3 questions!!

 

Hey girlie! You can advertise like the other groups do. Let people know you're out there! People are just going to say stuff no matter what you do. If it doesn't bother you too much, don't sweat it! And number 3, girls can be tricky. Just keep saying hi and being nice. It's her loss if she loses you as a friend!

-Taeler

Taeler L.

clubbench on 9/15/2009 6:50:05 PM

hey girl.
Here's some advice that you can take from someone who knows.

My family does long-term foster care for these two boys. At first i felt like you, i didn't want to do it all. i thought it was gunne ruin our family and they would forget about me. once we got the kids, i fell in love with them. i totally regret ever saying that i didn't want to do it. I think your family needs to start out with foster care and then see if you like it and if you would like to adopt.


You're parents aren't being mean or harsh about anything. they love you and want to be parents for someone who doesn't have any.


hope this helps you change your mind. you need to talk with your parents about this though.

narnianpirate on 9/15/2009 6:49:38 PM

thats pretty harsh. i would be offended that they didnt say anything to me. i would just ask!!! (:

Becca13 on 9/15/2009 6:15:59 PM

MOD! : OMG! I asked my crush to homecoming, and he actually said yes! i found a really cute dress and some really cute accessories. any ideas on a cute way to wear my hair and how to do make up so it looks good with a purple and black dress without being overdone?

 

Hey girlie! Try some light purple eyeshadow and a little mascara. Also, a side pony is super cute this fall! Have fun!

-Taeler

Taeler L.

americanidoltwilightfan101 on 9/15/2009 5:47:59 PM

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CLUB GLAMOUROUS! on 9/15/2009 5:07:58 PM

I feel bad that you're upset. I would LOVE a sister though! I have a little brother which is good but I've always wanted a sister too! =)
XxX

XxXFionnualaXxX on 9/15/2009 5:07:53 PM

MOD MOD MOD!!! i was in dance with 2 girls who are 2 yrs. younger than me. i got moved into a class with pple who r closer 2 my age (one isa year older and one is1 year younger)2day i told the girl in my old class that i got moved and she was upset to the point where she had tears in her eyes Frown but now i rlly wanna be in this new class but i don't want anyone to feel bad. her and her mom told me that it was the other girl in my old classes mom who got me moved just like she did last year with another girl who used to be in our class. now my friends mom is calling our teacher and trying to get me moved back but i don't want to be moved back and i just don't know wut 2 do and i would rlly appreciate it if u answered this! thanks and sorry its so long

 

Hey girlie! Sounds tough! Just tell you friend you would like to stay in the new class! Go with the flow and make the best out of either dance class!

-Taeler

Taeler L.

dancechick7496 on 9/15/2009 4:59:32 PM

Be careful with what you say about adoption, please. I get offended easily.

~lasagna~

lasagna on 9/15/2009 4:54:59 PM

adopting is not as bad as it sounds! Me and my fam adopted a little boy from Korea! he is soo cute!

godsgirl2u on 9/15/2009 4:52:40 PM

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD
Is it true computer games slow down computers? Cuz I really want the sims 2 for my familys PC cuz I just saved up enough money for it but my mom said I have to get it for our PS2 cuz computer games slow down computers. I know this isn't an electronic advice website, I just wanted to know if u knew the answer




Hey girl! I am not sure. You should ask your parents or a computer expert. 
Eryn G.

jonasNtwilight3 on 9/15/2009 4:35:04 PM

I kinda find that offensive since I'm adopted. I would go with the advice, but don't copletely reject having another sister if it happens. Who knows it could be life or death for her.

~lasagna~

lasagna on 9/15/2009 4:33:55 PM

MOD MOD MOD
i have a project and i am supposed to do a report on someone famous who sets fashion trends and people follow his/her fashion choices any suggestions??
<3 allways 




Hey girl! You could research CoCo Chanel or research some other cool people.

 

 
Eryn G.

starbucks4lyfe on 9/15/2009 4:25:08 PM

you know a lot of kids hate the idea first but grow to love their little sis or bro. Who know maybe your parents did that a long time ago it takes time to find a child like years some times so chill and let your parent decide on what yea want to do. Also it doesn't mean they want another daughter just means they want someone as great as you maybe (that doesn't look through thier mail jk).

prettywitty14 on 9/15/2009 3:16:26 PM

Hey Girlies!
Looking for a fun club? One with advice. The best contests polls and weekly articles? Check out ClubLOL! I’m VP and Prez of boys I just put out a new boy advice article so check it, and become a member! See you there this weeks contest is the best one yet…..


P.S I answer personal boy advice, you can leave a comment on ClubLOL! profile or on my own profile and I will answer you asap.

reeg-a-lene on 9/15/2009 2:44:54 PM

thats tough

hey girls please check out my profile

SmileSmileSmileSmileSmileSmileSmileSmileSmileSmileSmileSmileSmileSmileSmileSmileSmileSmileSmileSmile

wednesday1408 on 9/15/2009 2:21:19 PM

MOD I have a situation a little bit like this. Except the email I saw was from my mom to my therapist (long story). My mom was wondering if the person I go see does couples counselinglike for her and my dad. I'm starting to worry now if my parents are having problems. They don't really seem to love each other very much, they're sorta apathetic. The only time it looks like they really care about each other is if my dad hugs my mom and kisses her cheek or something. And I don't really see that much. Also I have a sister with special needs. Sometimes when I've gotten really upset over it (I don't like my sister much) my mom has been like "what do you want us to do?? Live in seperate houses and send you and your sister back and forth?" what do you think? Do you think they want to divorce each other or something? please help!

 

Hey girlie! Hmm..tough one. Relationships go through their ups and downs, maybe your parents are just going through one of their downs. Just be there for both of them and for your sister as much as you can!

-Taeler

Taeler L.

Chic chick on 9/15/2009 10:26:07 AM

great advice! who knows, maybe a new sibling won't be that bad! good luck girlie

hit.the.surfs. on 9/15/2009 9:44:59 AM

Whoa! Sorry bout that chica! My mom is on and off the idea of adopting a lil kid. I don't really mind though since I'm an only.

Rato09 on 9/15/2009 8:29:09 AM

Wow tough, but Katie S. gave some rlly great advice! Telling them that u "accidently" saw their mail is a good idea so they wont get mad. Good luck!

Check out my profile girls, and please leave a comment, thanks!

SportyGal on 9/15/2009 8:12:03 AM


    

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