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Dear Carol

My BGF Likes Me, But I Don't Like Him Back

 

My best friend is a boy, and I found out he likes me a little. I just like him as a friend.


Now I don't know how to act around him.


-Just Want To Be Friends

Dear Just Want To Be Friends,

If possible, try to act the way you always have. If necessary, say, "I like you tons-but as a friend." And if you must, spend more time with other girls and guys. My hope is that his feelings will cool down (unless yours warm up), and you'll be able to keep enjoying your friendship.


Want More Advice? Order Carol Weston’s Girltalk Fourth Edition: All the Stuff Your Sister Never Told You. It’s got the answers to all of your most important questions. So if you're looking for tips, quotes, advice, or just plain info about growing up, friends, boys, school, family stuff, substance abuse, or any problems big and small, check out Dear Carol's Girltalk or For Girls Only. They'll help you feel confident, inspired and energized!
 
SERIOUS STUFF? For serious issues, don’t wait. Visit our HELP! page now.
 
For more on Carol Weston, visit her website: carolweston.com.
 
Can't solve a catastrophe? Stop stressin'. Carol's got ya covered! Just click SEND A QUESTION to get Carol's expert advice.

BY CAITLIN R. ON 9/18/2009 7:00:00 AM 108 COMMENTS

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108 READER COMMENTS

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD!!!
I KNOW THIS GUY! (WERE NOT REALLY FRIEND)
BUT HE REALLY LIKES ME AND I DONT LIKE HIM NOT REVEN AS FRIENDS!! (SORRY IF U FIND THAT MEEN)
I WAS TOLD THAT I WAS DATEING HIM WHEN I DONT EVEN KNOW HIS NAME..! AND NOW HES TRYING TO ADD ME ON FACEBOOK!! (OH AND I WAS ALL SO TOLD I KISSES HIM WHEN I HAVE KISSED HIM WHEN I HAVE NEVER KISSED A BOY IN MY LIFE!!.)
WHAT SHOULD I DO?? OH AND THANKZ

 

Hey girl! 


Sounds like you've been a victim of some nasty rumors. What you can do is stop them immediately is by telling anyone that confronts you about it that it's not true. The next step is to talk to the boy himself. He sounds like he has a pretty big crush on you and is just desperate for your attention. Have a conversation with him and say that you don't appreciate the lies that he's been telling people, it's certainly not fair to you and it's not a way that will get you to like him.

Liz R.

ROZEH_LOVER188 on 1/4/2010 1:29:58 PM

I need help...ok. So i'm friends with this guy and my friends told me he like me but i didn't like him then. But now i do and idk if he still likes me. We flirt so much so idk. help help help on how to find out/be more obvi. also, i'm not the type of person to ask him out cause i don't want him to say no cause that would mess everything up. thnx

 

Hey girl! Try talking to him more and getting to know him better. You will be able to read how he feels more and maybe even have a chat about how much you like him! Just be yourself and be confident!

-Taeler

Taeler L.

SuNsHiNe_LuVeR on 12/6/2009 10:16:36 PM

idk why but the guys i lik i dont even kno.....i just no their names and wat they look lik
i dont think they kno me eithr

the good thing is
1 of my really good guy friend who i tlk 2 a lot is lik best friends with the guy i lik and is usuallt their wen im tlking 2 the guy thts my friend

the othr guy i lik.......my bff and i lik 2 guys tht r bffs the 2 guys kno who she is but dont think they kno me............but they might cuz all my friends r friends with those 2 guys but i dont talk 2 they much but i think they kno who i am

so wat should i do 2 get 2 kno them bettr

footballgirl56 on 11/7/2009 2:30:50 PM

THAT'S TOTALLY ME!! And with like three guys though... so your not alone Smile

cheerinlady123 on 11/6/2009 9:49:36 PM

MODMODMOD
ok so yesterday i was emailing my BGF and we were talking about my crush and so i askd him who he liked and he said "i like two people i'll tell you one" i said ok and he told me so then i asked him the other and he said he couldnt tell me so i figured it was me so i pretended i went to the bathroom and emailed him pretending to be my sister and he confessed to her (me) that yes he does like me and i twittered it but then deleted it and emailed him today to see if he wanted to go downtown tonite and he said sure so i asked him who to invite and he said "doesnt matter" so i told him he was acting weird and he never replied. do you think he's mad at me?
sorry for the essay...




Hey babe,

I don't think he's mad at you. I think he just honestly doesn't mind who you invite. 

xoxo Allie
Allie S.

babyalexgrrl95 on 11/6/2009 8:14:13 PM

U r SO not alone!
my bgf likes me too

taylordoughty on 10/27/2009 9:17:29 PM

1. Say your name 10 times.
2. Say your mom's name 5 times.
3. Say your crush's name 3 times.
4. Paste this to 4 other quizzes. If you do this, your crush will kiss you on the nearest Friday, but if you read this and do not paste this, then you will have very bad luck! SEND THIS TO 5 QUIZZES IN 143 MINUTES. WHEN YOU'RE DONE PRESS F6 AND YOUR CRUSH'S NAME WILL APPEAR IN BIG LETTERS ON THE SCREEN. THIS IS SO FREAKY BECAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKS

kittylover342 on 10/16/2009 7:27:27 PM

Mod mod mod!!!!
I wanna go as a buisness person four Halloween, and I'm not sure what I need for the costume!
Also, I don't wear makeup reguarlly, but I have a lot left over from a drama performance that I want to use, so how can I fit that in?




Hey girl, try going for a pencil skirt, blazer, and blouse with a tie for a costume. Don't forget your brief case. As for make-up, go for a little bit of eyeshadow, lipstick, and blush. Try adding some glasses and a pencil in your hair for that kempt look.

xoxo 
Alyssa B.

Hammypal on 10/15/2009 6:51:52 PM

1. Say ur name 10x
2. Say ur mom's name 5x
3. Say ur crushes name 3x
4. then paste this to 4 other quizs, if you do this your crush will kiss you on the nearest friday

kasaundra on 10/11/2009 1:29:43 PM

1. Say ur name 10x
2. Say ur mom's name 5x
3. Say ur crushes name 3x
4. then paste this to 4 other quizs, if you do this your crush will kiss you on the nearest friday

kasaundra on 10/11/2009 1:28:34 PM

1. Say ur name 10x
2. Say ur mom's name 5x
3. Say ur crushes name 3x
4. then paste this in 4 other spots, if you do this your crush will kiss you on the nearest friday!

the brave little toaster on 10/9/2009 10:59:22 PM

1. Say ur name 10x
2. Say ur mom's name 5x
3. Say ur crushes name 3x
4. then paste this in 4 other spots, if you do this your crush will kiss you on the nearest friday

ReneeB on 10/7/2009 7:22:43 PM

1. Say ur name 10x
2. Say ur mom's name 5x
3. Say ur crushes name 3x
4. then paste this in 4 other spots, if you do this your crush will kiss you on the nearest friday!!!

Need some friendship advice?
I've been through, like, everything...
You can contact me through e-mail:
twilightluva014@AOL.com

Good luck! Smile

bames14 on 10/7/2009 2:57:54 PM

REALLY WORKS! TRY IT OUT!
1. Say ur name 10x
2. Say ur mom's name 5x
3. Say ur crushes name 3x
4. then paste this to 4 other articles, if you do this your crush will kiss you on the nearest friday

passionfordance on 10/6/2009 11:36:46 PM

REALLY WORKS! TRY IT OUT!
1. Say ur name 10x
2. Say ur mom's name 5x
3. Say ur crushes name 3x
4. then paste this in 4 other spots, if you do this your crush will kiss you on the nearest friday!

sunnysun2311 on 10/6/2009 7:34:44 PM

MOD:
why are guys so obsessed with looks? and what so they consider "hot"? and also i have my period but its so unpredictable. when do i know when to wear a pad or anything? and im not that crabby when i have it, it's just out of the blue? and lastly, how do i talk to my crush? i'm not the type of person to just walk up to a cute guy ans start talking. he is in my homeroom and ive talked to him a couple of times.

 

Hey girl! Different guys are attracted to different types of girls. You could talk to your crush about school or music.

Eryn G.

bobbert1230 on 10/6/2009 4:54:14 PM

MOD MOD MOD okay so i have a bf but i want to break up with him. And well i like almost ALL of his friends. And i know a couple of them like me because he flirts with me all the time and one of them even asked me out before. The biggest prop? i dont know how to break up with a guy! He is my first bf so i was wondering what to say and when to say like in the morning or right after school? And what do i say? Can you please tell me word by word? Thanks!

 

Hey girl! Find a time where you two can be alone. You don't want to embarrass him or hurt his feelings. Just tell him you think you need some time and maybe you two should just be friends for a while. Tell him you have a lot going on but your friendship means the world to you. Then, maybe, you can make a clean break! Good Luck!

-Taeler

Taeler L.

ashhagan104 on 10/1/2009 7:32:49 AM

MOD! I've got a recent dilemma. Last night I was chatting online with a good guy friend of mine (who I am not sure if I "like") about school dances. He told me he was going to go to homecoming, and I said I might go too. He said he needed a date....(and this is where I screw it up)...and I said that I usually go alone and it's just as good as going with someone else. I thought about what I said and it sounded kind of like he might have wanted to go with me. Did he? I don't know. But if so, I might have accidentally turned him down. He kind of stopped talking a lot after that, then he went offline. I kind of want to bring it up with him again, but what if I assumed wrong? What if he didn't want to go to homecoming with me specifically, and I'm just being vain? What have I done? =(

 

Hey girl! He might have wanted to go with you. You could just b rly casual and ask him if he wants to go.

Eryn G.

wonderring on 9/26/2009 1:46:40 PM

act like yourself, only less flirty. my bgf and i just got out of a relationship but we're still close. tell him you just aren't interested BE CLEAR and say sorry, we still need to hang and talk. if he likes u that much he'll take what he can get.

whitehouses on 9/26/2009 12:26:53 PM

MOD MOD!! OKay do you think i should break up with my bf? hees why, he is immature (and im really mature for my age), he embarrases me, goes thru my text messages, and says wierd stuff, and thniks he is funny but he isnt. I mean i like him but every time i see him in the hallway at school i try to advoid him. We havnt even been going out for a month and is already trying to get me to make out with him. And if you think i should break up with him please help me with what to say, word by word

 

Hey girly, you have to decide if you like him enough to put up with his immature behavior.  You don't want a guy who embarrasses you and goes through your things. So maybe you guys can take a break from one another. And if you find that in that time you guys are seperated, you miss him then maybe he is the boy for you. When you tell him you want to take a break, let him know gently. Say something like "Yea, I really like you, but right now I need a break from this relationship." or "This relationship is moving too fast in the wrong direction, so let's take some time away from one another to get back on track." Make it clear you still like him but need some time to yourself to figure things out.

Lynae P.

ashhagan104 on 9/26/2009 12:47:48 AM

IMod mod mod
I've got the ?'s ok
1. I always enter for the giveaways! But I never win... Will I ever win ????Frown
2. Wat should I b 4 haloween? I'm into black, it has to b fro
partycity and it can't cost like billions of caching!
3. What's apropreate, cheap punck outfits??




Hey, keep entering, hopefully one day you'll be lucky. Maybe you could be a witch or something dark like that, plus it's easy. I like flannel and purple for the punk look. 
katelin s.

Sassykinz on 9/24/2009 9:52:46 PM

i like a boy but i dont know if he like me or not

mexcani on 9/24/2009 9:11:25 PM

MOD MOD MOD
i on acadently hit the report button on my profile and idk when it will let e bck on i didnt mean to report myself! when will my profile be back to normal




Hey girl, give it some time. We've got a mod here that will look at it, but I'll forward your prob and give the mod a heads-up.

xoxo  
Alyssa B.

mylife*11 on 9/24/2009 7:26:51 PM

mod mod mod
ok so the bf i have right now is only my second bf.....whenever i pass him in the hall i always find myself smiling! and i get this wired feeling and whatever im holding i hold on to it really hare...is this normal?!?!?!?!




Hey girl, that's totes normal. Just sounds like you're into your bf! Live it up, girlie!

xoxo
Alyssa B.

sassykinz on 9/24/2009 5:28:07 PM

MOD MOD MODERATOR♫
i accedentally burned popcorn and my entire house smells like smoke
i already told my mom and did all i could to make the smell go away but i know my stepdad will have a conniption when he wlks in2 the house and smells it
what do i
do
i cant call him at work btw
pleese help
EMO♫

emoticon220 on 9/24/2009 4:47:20 PM

MOD! I've liked the same guy for a while now but we never talked, & we use 2 look at eachother alot, but now he never looks at me so now im scared 2 start a convo, cause it would be akward. Also all these girls are asking him 2 homecoming..any ideas?

 

If you never really clicked with this guy I would ask someone who you are good friends with to homecoming. Trust me, you will be a lot more comfortable and feel more free to have a good time.

 

Olivia

Olivia A.

cheerbaby3 on 9/24/2009 12:53:07 PM

Mod mod mod
idk what2 b 4 halloween! Into black, it can only b from partycity, I wanna wear alot of eyeliner with it, and it can't cost like billions of $
thanks




Hey girl, why not try being a vampire? A little uninspired? Just a bit, but with a chic brain, you can give the costume your own one-of-a-kind twist!

xoxo 
Alyssa B.

Sassykinz on 9/23/2009 10:21:21 PM

MODD !!! MODD !
I need your help !
I'm SUPER flirty and I mean really ! But I don't notice ! And I have a boyfriend and it seems like he doesn't matter ;; over the summer I got dared to kiss his best friend and I did , but then his other best friend told him ! We got into a little fight we talked it over and I thought we were cool but today my best friend told me that hes still super mad about it and he doesn't show it !! :[[ Also since he sees me beingg all flirty , he told my my bestie that he wanted me to act like that to him and I just can't do it ,, this relationship is getting to stressful we've been going out for 5 months and I really like him but it just feels like I could explode any moment. ANY ADViCE ? Smile




Hey babe,

I think you need to talk to your bf about this. The tension is only going to get worse if you two don't figure out if your flirtiness is going to be too much for the relationship. some girls (and guys!) are just naturally flirty and you two have to figure out what that means for you.

xoxo Allie

Allie S. Allie S.

spartansbabe81 on 9/23/2009 8:33:25 PM

MOD!
My BGF Likes me but i dont like him back! He's one of the popular guy at school you know the ones that get all the girls and im just plain. I dont understand why he would like me but thats not the problem. The problem is that now he wont talk to me, he wont even look at me at school or even say anything to me when i say hey. What should i do?




Hey babe,

It sounds like he's not used to getting rejected by girls! Give him some time to get over it and things will probably go back to normal soon if you keep trying.

xoxo Allie
Allie S.

EmilyNicole on 9/23/2009 7:20:01 PM

mod mod mod
ok idk what to b for halloween!!!!! im really into the punk black stuff and i can only get my costume from party city, i wanna wear alot of eyeliner with it, and it cant cost a million $!
thanks!

 

Hey babe,

If you're really into punk, it would be pretty easy to go as a punk rockstar and you would only have to buy a few things to make it a costume, maybe even nothing if you already have some punk-looking clothes you could wear. 

xoxo Allie
Allie S.

sassykinz on 9/23/2009 6:23:32 PM

MOD MOD MOD! I made a profile (finally) but when could others see it? (its public) ---------------------------------------------

 

Hey there girlie,

 

Your profile must be modded first. Give it a couple days and then check back.

 

Thanks for posting!

 

Megan P.

Megan P.

emilyxoxx14 on 9/23/2009 1:17:52 PM

MOD MOD MOD
i really like this guy but im not sure if he likes me back. he teases me and jokes around and im pretty sure hes flirting but im not sure. and i dont now how to tell my dad that were going out if he did ask me out




Hey, sounds like he might like you but guys can be confusing! Just try to talk to him more and get to know him better. If you do start dating him, just tell your dad that you really like a guy and you're taking it slow but that you wanted to be honest with him so he knows he can trust you. 
katelin s.

1joe jonas on 9/23/2009 12:20:30 AM

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD!!! I need a new way to style my hair. Im not talking about a haircut, Im talking about things to do with it. I walready scrunch, curl, tousle, straighen, pony tail, sloppy bun, and braid. I just need something new!!!

 

Hey girl! Try half-up half-down one day! Throw in a cute little braid or two to mix it up!

-Taeler

Taeler L.

xohollistercalixo on 9/22/2009 8:04:58 PM

Thanks Taeler!!!

 

You're very welcome!

Taeler L.

gotpink on 9/22/2009 7:18:02 PM

MOD MOD MOD MOD !!!!!!!!! HELP! i really like this guy but when i cant talk to him! i get so nervous! what should i talk about around him?!?!?!

 

Hey girlie! Be yourself and be confident! Ask him questions about himself or school, you'll get a covo started soon!

-Taeler

Taeler L.

gotpink on 9/22/2009 6:53:58 PM

MOD!!!
my friend hogs all the attention! Every time we are around a guy or a group of friends she makes sure shes the center of attention the entire time. i feel like i go unnoticed when she does this. Im afraid to tell her what shes doing, how can i break it to her, or get some attention myself? thanks.

 

Hey girl! You could tell her that you think that she always needs attention and that you want people to see you to. Just be nice when you tell her.

Eryn G.

pandacow on 9/22/2009 4:32:14 PM

MODMODMOD
My bgf likes me and is one of my bfs bffs. I dont like him, so he is trying to make me and my bf break up! he told me the only reason he is going out with me is because im pretty and it was a dare. But that cant be true because he asked me last year too.(well i guess im afraid it is true). my bgf also said my bf said all this stuff about me but when i asked him about it he had no clue what i was talking about. and now they are both really mad at the other!they were best friends before we went out and now they wont even look at ech other. is there a way to fix this? also my bff is almost a foot higher than me and ever time we hug its really awkward, like i hit my chin on his shoulder or he is bending at a funny angle. My bff said it looked pretty funny watching us hug, do you now how can make our height more even? (without me wearing heels)




Hey girlie! Just try to ignore whatever your bgf says about your bf. He's obviously jealous and is trying to mess up your relationship. Try not to read too much into it. And as far as hugging, just try to hug your bf around his waist so it's not so awkward when he bends down!

-Taeler 
Taeler L.

ashhagan104 on 9/22/2009 7:14:28 AM

Mod mod mod
ok I need help picking out a Halloween
costum I'm into goth, black and punk, I can only get it
from partycity.com and I want to wear slot of eyeliner
with it and it can't cost like 80 dallars!
Thanks =]




Hey girlie,




You should be Lydia from Beetlejuice. She's awesome. Wear heavy black eyeliner, use a temporary black hair dye (like a wash out hair spray) and funk up a school uniform with ripped tights and goth jewelry. 




xoxo Keltie 
Keltie E.

Sassykinz on 9/21/2009 10:40:22 PM

Thats a hard problem I hope it goes well!

Starpanda123 on 9/21/2009 9:50:55 PM

Mod how do you get rid of ugly dark marks and scars? I hate them and I can't go to a dermatologist and i am using a coco butter scar serum.




Hi babe,




I'd try to go to a dermatologist. Talk to your parents about it because they'll give you the best pointers/medications to clear up dark marks. Coco butter will help them fade, but it is just going to take time. 




If you still can't try using a loofah in the shower to help exfoliate old, dead skin. You could also try using natural products like lemon juice or almond oil. After showering massage a small amount of either over the areas. Over time the dark marks and scars should fade.




xoxo Keltie 
Keltie E.

kreader on 9/21/2009 9:10:42 PM

Why exactly don't you like him?
?

[xGanzxAlleinx] on 9/21/2009 8:36:59 PM

Yeah just let him down GENTLY.

actress96 on 9/21/2009 5:28:56 PM

************************************************
CLUB CREATIVITY IS NOW OPEN! IF YOU ARE INTERESTED PLEASE FEEL FREE TO JOIN. JUST CLICK ON MY NAME or SEARCH lasagna or SEARCH Club Creativity. The club is under lasagna's profile. I don't know how to change it to something else, sorry.

~lasagna~
Club Creativity

lasagna on 9/21/2009 4:59:41 PM

hey girls! i have lots of experience giving advice here on GL and offline! check out the advice section of my profile for details and leave me a comment!!
~ellie~

hugatree95 on 9/21/2009 3:39:06 PM

mod mod mod\
wil the october november issue have anything about halloween in it?




Hey girlie! The Oct/Nov issue doesn't have anything about halloween in it, but stay tuned to the website for Halloween features.

Liz 
Liz L.

sassykinz on 9/21/2009 12:28:18 PM

mod mod mod mod
so i just asked one of the mods if there will be an halloween magazine and she said the next magazine will be the december/jan does this mean there will be no ocatober november becuase i didnt get october november!




Hey! The Oct/Nov issue just came out, so chances are it just hasn't reached your house yet. Give it some time girlie, and if you still don't have it, let us know.

XOXO

Liz 
Liz L.

sassykinz on 9/21/2009 12:08:47 PM

mod mod mod
hey for the next issue (for girlslife....duh!) will it have anything to do with holloween costumes or anything to help you choose what u wanna be? becuase idk what to be im into goth and black rite now, i can only get my costume from partycity.com and i want it to be somthing i can wear alot of eyeliner with! help me decide!




Hey girl! The next issue will be the Dec/Jan issue, so there won't be any Halloween stuff. However, stay tuned to GL on the web. We are sure to put up tons of Halloween themed articles. 

XOXO

Liz
Liz L.

sassykinz on 9/21/2009 10:18:54 AM

MOD MOD MOD!!!
My bf doesnt trust me! i txt his bff all the time so he will go thru my messages, and will get mad if a guy asks me out. His last gf cheated on him so now he is paranoid and doesnt trust me. When i went to a party without him and these threee guys came up too me and asked my phone number and i gave it to them and called me when we were hanging out my bf got so mad! I really like him but how do i get him to calm down?




Hey girl! Guys can be extremely jealous and it sounds like your guy has had it rough with past gf's. Try to be understanding but reassure him that you are totally into him and that you would never cheat. If he understands he has nothing to worry about, then things should be less stressful between the two of you. Just remember to not do things that might be seen as untrustworthy. You won't have his trust if you are hanging out and giving attention to lot's of other guys. Remember, if he gets too overprotective or jealous and starts saying mean and hurtful things, walk away. You don't need to feel bad about having friends and a life outside of him.

XOXO,

Liz 
Liz L.

ashhagan104 on 9/21/2009 7:42:42 AM

Mod mod mod ok so this Isnt a big prob but my school will b having a costume party and idk wat to be for haloween!!!! Ok so I know it's not killer news but I need help picking somthing out I can only get it from and in really into black and goth and it can't cost a million bucks and I want it to b somthing I can wear a bunch of eyeliner with ! Thanks

 

Hey girl! Try a vampire or a witch. You could even come up with something really creative for a rockstar costume!

-Taeler

Taeler L.

Sassykinz on 9/20/2009 10:51:16 PM

MOD MOD MOD MOD ok so i have a couple probs involving my friend/crush lets call him nathan. 1) he used to be seriously dating my bff (wont b that big of a prob cuz shes over him) i told her id tell her if i ever liked someone. i wanna tell her about my likin of him but idk how shell respond cuz ive nevr displayed interest in him and i said i would nevr like him BUT now i do. what should i do? 2) he acts rly weird at times like today i said hey then he said hey. i forgot to respond then 15 minutes later he said hey again. i said wassup and he said im gonna take a shower after his shower he said back but nevr responded to my text after that. and like last night he responded immediately then just stopped responding. it was latr so i figured he fell asleep but my friend said that after i Fell asleep he was texting her. he doesnt like her. what am i supposed to think of that??? 3) he changes who he says he likes alll the time. can he rly like them if hes always changing his mind??? please please please help me i am supr confuzzled!!!! thnx karrisa

 

Hey girlie! Sounds like he may be a little confused, too. Feel out your sitch a little bit over the next week or so and if it turns into more, then you can worry  about telling your BFF.

-Taeler

Taeler L.

karrisa1 on 9/20/2009 9:54:49 PM



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