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I'm bi, but all my friends are anti-gay

 

All of my friends are really anti-gay. I'm not. This may come from the fact that I'm bisexual (I haven't told my friends about this yet) or because I simply respect that lifestyle, but whatever the reason, I am as pro-gay as you can be.


Recently, my best guy friend told me he was gay. I totally support him, but now my friends are flinging questions at me asking why I'm hanging out with him so much. If I tell them we're just friends, they won't believe me. But I'm worried that if I tell the truth (we go to support groups together and we're really close because of our sexualities) they'll disown me. I love my friends with all my heart, but how can I respect their beliefs without making them disown me?


I can't imagine what you must be feeling right now with the emotions of having to keep your feelings bottled up inside, and scared to be open and honest with your BFFs. It's no fun pretending to be someone you're not. Sounds like you're totally afraid of how your besties will react.

 
Let it out!
 


It's not healthy keeping such strong emotions bottled up inside. If you're scared to speak the words out loud, why not write each of your besties an individual note or card telling them how much you value them as a pal. Then, say that you hope they'll accept you for who you really are. Also, ask the peeps in your support group for advice on how to come out. I'm sure that lots of them had difficulty saying it to their friends and fam, and would have tons of suggestions for how to deal with these issues. It will be really helpful to hear how people who are going through the same issues as you dealt with it. They can hopefully help ease your worries about your friends, and make you realize that their reactions will not be as bad as you think they will be.



 
You're still YOU
 

One of my best friends came out last year and it didn't change one thing about our friendship. He's still the exact same person. Not one of our friends looked at him differently. In fact, everyone was just happy he was finally being open and honest with himself and all of his loved ones. If these people are really your true friends, and they love and respect you as much as you do them, then when you tell them that you are bisexual it shouldn't change anything about your friendship! If it does, it's sad to say but you may not even want to waste your time hangin' out with these girlies anyway.

 



If anyone treats you any differently just because of your sexuality, they’re immature and not worth your time. You are an amazing girl, and you shouldn't have to bottle up your feelings and try to be someone you're not. Be open and honest with your friends and yourself. You deserve to be happy. Be who you are, and I promise people will respect you for it!

 
-Jackie E.
 

FRIENDS GOT YOU FRANTIC? CLICK HERE to submit your own problem to be answered on Girl Talk.

BY CAITLIN R. ON 9/30/2009 7:00:00 AM 109 COMMENTS

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109 READER COMMENTS

thnx mod!

Ladybug863 on 3/7/2010 12:36:18 AM

sixteengirl93 it isnt wrong!

Ladybug863 on 3/7/2010 12:19:44 AM

one of my now old friends said that gay people were terrible and gross but she will never know that basically i was being called terrible and gross. she told me that people who were gay would go to he**. but god knows we are gay and he made us the way we are so why would we be so horrible if he made us this way? i am not religious but i do believe that god loves every1! if ur gay be proud, if your not don't criticise ppl like me!

Ladybug863 on 3/7/2010 12:16:56 AM

mod mod mod mod
Well i am bisexual at a very young age(im 11) and i mostly like girls but im afraid to tell my mom even though she would still love me i will feel very embarrassed and uncomfortable! the only person who is 11 and like me is my best friend, but she mostly likes boys. she knows my secret! it makes me feel sad when i see boys kissing girls in public, i always feel lonely like ill never be like that! should i write a note to her(my mom)? i am also going to this meeting at a hospital in my town and (i do this every year) i was wondering if i could talk to the psychiatrist there? i cant just have my friend know!




Hey babe, it's important to talk with your mom and be open about your feelings. At 11, it's hard to tell how we feel. We go through lots of emotions, phases, and changes. You can't classify yourself as anything, everyone feels out their sexuality when they're young.  It's important to seek guidance and learn to feel comfortable and happy in your own skin.  I think a note would be appropriate and try talking to a guidance counselor.  
Megan R.

Ladybug863 on 3/7/2010 12:11:41 AM

what is wrong with being gay? its not a choice. not liking gay people is like saying "i dont like people with brown eyes" or "i dont like people who are flat-footed" its how ur born, and theres nothing wrong with it.

suPerDEEcool101 on 2/17/2010 1:21:37 PM

1. Say your crush's name 5x. (FULL NAME!)
2. Say your full name.

NOW MAKE A WISH!!

*

* *

* * *

* * * *

* * * * *

WISH HARDER!

* * * * *

* * * *

* * *

* *

*
WISH! WISH! WISH!!!
*

* *

* * *

* * * *

* * * * *

Now copy and paste this to the next 5 articles you read and your wish will come true in 5 days
Good luck!

Samantha V on 1/29/2010 8:17:46 PM

i;m with ur friends on that one srry

karatejenn16 on 1/28/2010 6:06:15 PM

y does every one bash her its not like she choses it

Angel07 on 1/23/2010 6:19:29 PM

MOD I have a bgf, and our bdays are only 3 days apart. We kinda want to do something together for our bdays, bt idk if my mom will let me. See, im not allowed to date until after this school year, and my bday is end of feb, his start of march. Im not interested in him like that, but i dont know if my mom will see it like that. How can i explain it to her in a way that she'll say yes? I was wanting to have my 3 bffs over for a sleepover on a friday, and on saturday have him and two other of my bgfs over to watch a movie? thx! Bekah

 

Hey chica!  Just explain to your mom that you only want to do something with your bgf because your birthdays are really close and that you two are ONLY friends.  She should say yes as long as your honest and make it clear to her that your just friends. 

tyler j.

nicegurl on 12/31/2009 2:27:41 PM

MOD! I'm an atheist and I really don't believe in god. All my friends are totally okay with it but just kids I talk to (not technicly friends) at school try to make me believe. Almost every conversation includes god and I usually turn my back, but it's hard. Then, if I haven't told that person I was talking to, they ask why I stopped talking. I tell them, cause I always be completly honest with people. But, then they're like "Ohmigosh! You don't believe in god! That's a complet and utter sin." Then I go "*sigh* No." Then they gasp and say "You should totally convert and become a christian!" Then I go "*sigh* No, but thanks. Can we change the subject?" Then they nod, all hurt that I don't trust and believe. It really, really hurts. And then, to top it off, we're doing religion in Social Studies and we have to compare stories from other religions to the bible, and they just expect you to know the stories from the bible. I mean, I know the jist of most of them, but when you don't know the exact story, the homeworks really hard. The sub believe everything from the bible is true and everything else is wrong, too. It really hard and it hurts. Please tell me how to get everyone to understand I'm normal and not some creature from the deep. Thank you!

 

Hey girl, we can't change the way others think, but we can work on ourselves. So show people that although you don't agree, you respect their religious opinions. If they see you're respectful, they may in turn respect you. When you're talking about religion with a Christian or someone of any other religion, at some point in the conversation say something like "I don't agree with you, but I do respect your religious beliefs." so they'll know you're not bad mouthing their beliefs. Religion is so controversial, but stick to your beliefs no matter what. Hope this helps ya! Smile

Lynae P.

sunay on 12/30/2009 5:53:10 PM

I don't think being gay is a sin, but I don't think it is right either. nor, do I think it is wrong. I support how ever people are.

sixteengirl93 on 12/8/2009 9:30:32 PM

i think it's wrong that people would judge anyway because of this. i am straight, but honestly, love should be about personality, not bodies. i have a friend that's bi and i support her.

flautist7 on 11/7/2009 12:23:04 PM

MOD******* Okay My best friend is great but the thing is, is that she is ALWAYS copying me. I know that people say that its good when people copy you cause it means you have a good idea but to me its annoying. like one time I wore Pajama pants and fake uggs to school and the next day she did. and when i try to tell her shes copying me she says "IM NOT COPYING YOU! YOU ARE COPYING ME!" I dont know how to tell her to just be herself and be orginal without hurting her feelings and not having her blow up in my face?




Hey babe, because you're bffs it means you prob have similar taste and style so maybe she just happens to like the same things you do. Try to not let it bother you too much. Some of the trends are prob followed by a lot people and you just happen to notice when your bff does it, too. I know it can be annoying but take it in stride and you'll be ok! 
katelin s.

SweetStrawberry101 on 10/28/2009 12:35:45 AM

We appreciate that you girlies wanna post on GL, but we’ve received tons of comments about spamming with chain letters. To keep everyone happy we’ve decided to take ‘em down. Thanks again for posting.

Lynae P.

AbbeyCatLuvR on 10/25/2009 5:06:20 PM

PLEASE DON'T READ THIS, YOU WILL BE KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BY THE LOVER OF YOUR LIFE. TOMMORROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. NOW YOU'VE STARTED READING THIS, DON'T STOP, THIS IS FREAKY.

1. Say your name 10 times.
2. Say your mom's name 5 times.
3. Say your crush's name 3 times.
4. Paste this to 4 other quizzes. If you do this, your crush will kiss you on the nearest Friday, but if you read this and do not paste this, then you will have very bad luck! SEND THIS TO 5 QUIZZES IN 143 MINUTES. WHEN YOU'RE DONE PRESS F6 AND YOUR CRUSH'S NAME WILL APPEAR IN BIG LETTERS ON THE SCREEN. THIS IS SO FREAKY BECAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKS

Francab on 10/15/2009 4:51:27 PM

MODMODMODMODMODMODMODMODMODMOD
Sorry, this might be a bit long.
So I am in grade eight this year, and last year I went to middle school. There has always been this one girl, Megan who I was friends with, but never really close, and she went to another elementry school. Last we we became reeeeeally close, and were BFFs. Now, there is this other girl Vanessa who was and still is friends with us, but never really best friends with us. It was always just Megan & Maddie. But last Friday night, I went to sleepover at Megan's house with Vanessa there too. I fell asleep first, and when I woke up on Saturday, they were both gone. I waited for them to come back, but they never did. Finally I went upstairs to Meg's room, and I saw them in her bed together, sleeping. I felt sooo left out, because they totally ditched me. And today at school they were all buddy-buddy. Now Megan is calling us The Three Muskateers. And I love Vnaessa as a friend, but I cant stand being the three of us...BFFs.
Also, when I went to Megan and asked when she and Vanessa became best friends, she replyed, "Oh, we've always been BFFs."
I feel so sad, and lonely, and I just want Vanessa to go away. What do I do?




Hey girl, I know it may be hard, but you should give Vanessa a chance. It seems like Megan wants the three of you to get along and there's no need to feel like the third wheel. Get to know Vanessa slowly. She doesn't have to be YOUR BFF pronto, but there's nothing wrong with sharing your BFF Megan with her. You three might end up being closer than you think in the long run. Good luck!

xoxo 
Alyssa B.

popcorn_1996 on 10/15/2009 4:21:07 PM

Need a place to talk about girl stuff? You have this site, but you have another, too.
http://girlsclub100.webs.com/
Follow the link to a girl owned, girl's only website!

Imagg100 on 10/14/2009 2:19:16 PM

i think being gay is wrong not because it looks wrong or any thing and im not being mean and making fun of ppl who are i think we shouldnt be gay or support it because God says its bad and he planned out that girls are with guys and guys are with girls. If you are a true christian you would understand that that sin is wrong even if it doesnt seem wrong to us it still is wrong cuz God looks at each sin as it was like murder so i dont want to disrespect the Person who gave us everything including an afterlife if we believe in him.
if you have any comments Good OR Bad talk to me so i can share jesus with you and so i can see you in heaven with me!
God Bless

midnightluver96 on 10/11/2009 4:17:11 PM

MOD I have 2 questions. 1.) There is a new girl at school. She is in 2 of my classes and seems really nice and cool. I want 2 b friends with her. What can i do 2 become friends with her other than being nice and friendly and talking 2 her? 2.) 1 of my best friends' b-day is coming up. I'm not as close 2 her as i am with my other 2 best frieds. i just became friends with her last year. i don't know what i should get her 4 a present. i want her to like it and i want it 2 b kind of personal. not like a gift card or somthing. do u have any ideas? thanks soooo much. u MODS r AMAZING!!!

 

Hey girly, well the way to get a friend, is to be one. So start by being friendly and talkingto her. Then invite her to hang out with you. Maybe you guys could head to the mall or catch a movie. Since you're not too sure what to get her for her bday, make a card. In the card you could write how happy you are that you guys became friends and hope that you grow closer and wish her an awesome birthday. Hope this helps ya! Smile

Lynae P.

Sadulin4495 on 10/11/2009 2:34:17 PM

1.say your name 10><'s
2.say your moms name 5><'s
3.say your crushes name3><'sa
4.now post this in 4 other spots
if you do this your crush will
kiss you on the nearest friday.


I hope it works out gilie! I totally support you! Laughing

puppylove123 on 10/10/2009 4:54:08 PM

1.say your name 10><'s
2.say your moms name 5><'s
3.say your crushes name3><'sa
4.now post this in 4 other spots
if you do this your crush will
kiss you on the nearest friday.

sportygirl#2 on 10/9/2009 10:43:07 PM

try this1 rly works!
say ur name 10x
say ur moms name 5x
say ur crushes name 3x
and now paste this to 4 articles an ur crush will kiss u on tha cheek

polish-xc-runner97 on 10/7/2009 8:46:52 PM

REALLY WORKS! TRY IT OUT!
1. Say ur name 10x
2. Say ur mom's name 5x
3. Say ur crushes name 3x
4. then paste this in 4 other spots, if you do this your crush will kiss you on the nearest friday!

kool kitty on 10/7/2009 7:46:13 PM

try this it really works
1. say your name 10x
2.say your moms name 5x
3. say your crushs name 3x
4. post this in 4 different place and you crush will kiss you on the nearest friday

burb97 on 10/7/2009 4:14:53 PM

MOD HELP!
I've been finding out from a lot of my friends that they are jealous of me!
They say that I'm more popular and I have more friends and that I'm prettier.
I know that none of those things are true. They are just as pretty and nice as I am. I do have more friends out of the group but that is just because I'm more outgoing.
I feel like they are starting to exclude me but I don't know why they are! They don't believe me when I say they are just as "popular" as I am! What can I do to keep myself from getting kicked out of the group when all I've done is been friendly to everyone in our pod, not just the group?! HELP ME!




Hey babe, it sounds like maybe your friends are just jealous that you have other friends and they're a little intimidated by that. Talk to them and make sure they know you're still a part of their group and that won't change even if you do make friends. Try to talk it out before it gets worse. 
katelin s.

allsmiles247 on 10/6/2009 9:15:35 PM

HELP!!! I wnat to ask a guy out but i am not sher if the likes me or not! I want t oask him out tomorrow but i do not know if he will say yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELP!!!!!!!! thanks a ton!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

Rae700 on 10/6/2009 7:55:55 PM

REALLY WORKS! TRY IT OUT!
1. Say ur name 10x
2. Say ur mom's name 5x
3. Say ur crushes name 3x
4. then paste this in 4 other spots, if you do this your crush will kiss you on the nearest friday!

sunnysun2311 on 10/6/2009 7:47:38 PM

If you love polyvore, fashion, art or creativity join this group. It's all about fun, fashion, art, and friends!!!!

club polyvore on 10/6/2009 6:06:57 PM

MOD MOD MOD I will be having a Halloween Masquerade party at my house. the problem is that i don't have a dress. i am not allowed to wear one. what should i wear? pls help me with this one.

 

Hey girl! A rockin pair of skinnies would be really cute. Pair them with an adorable top and you will look really fab! Have fun!

-Taeler

Taeler L.

*crazy*cute*gal* on 10/6/2009 12:54:29 PM

One time a friend said to us if we really liked guys and we were interested in things like nakedmen.com which really doesnt exist, but you know what I mean, that you werent bi because you only liked guys. But that isnt always true.

We had to explain to her that bi meant you like both guys and girls and were physically attracted to them in the same way.

luckykel on 10/5/2009 3:14:08 PM

Your friends will like you no matter what you are,they should accept you as you accept them.

lovexorxhate on 10/4/2009 7:36:15 PM

hey girl join the party im bi to and i really want to tell my parents and friends but im scared.in the past at my old school a year ago my ex friend spreed a rumore that im lesbo and eventhough i am bi i denied it because my friend will make fun of me.i only told my one friend that i was friends with scince kindergarden and now shes no talking to me anymore witch really upseats me.<3
p.s. comment on my profile

XxcutegothgirlxX on 10/4/2009 7:26:43 PM

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD hey is mastermating bad?? what if you are a christian!??

 

Hey girl, whether or not it's bad is diff for everybody.  Some people think it is, some people don't.  It's all up to you. best, Kristen

Kristen Y.

mads4 on 10/4/2009 5:54:39 PM

i support you and im so sorry to hear about what you're going through. tell your close firends though. friends dont judge each other if they are good ones. they deserve your honesty and you deserve respect. best of luck!

sourpatchkidluver on 10/4/2009 5:06:32 PM

MOD MOD MOD My BFF has this other friend that i don't really like.I put up with her for my BFF's sake but lately she has really been getting on my nerves.She has started wearing really inappropriate clothes and i dont want to be associated with her.She has also been talking about both of us behind our backs. My BFF does not see this and gets mad when i do not want to do stuff with the both of them.Last year we all went to her lake house and now her mom hates me for being "rude to her daughter." I am not allowed at her house so she has been inviting my BFF over and they have all of these inside jokes. My BFF can not see how mean she is to me and everyone else in our group of friends. What can i do??? Please Help!!!

 

hey girl.  Sorry to hear about the rough sitch.  You can try talking to your BFF and letting her know how you feel.  Let her know that you love having her as a friend, but don't really like her other friend.  Say you won't be mean to her friend, but you would like to spend some time with just your BFF too.  Also, feel free to go meet new people and make new friends!  You can introduce them to your BFF too.  That way, if your BFF is hanging with her other friend, you'll have other people to hang with too. Best of luck, Kristen

Kristen Y.

savtrixiemixie on 10/4/2009 4:43:33 PM

MOD MOD MOD One of my best friends in the world is i guess i could say "popular this year.". But she doesn't talk to me a lot. we only say hey in the hallway and i really want to know if she is my friend for real or if she talks behind my back. how do i find out? And what conversations can we have?(no classes together)

 

Hey girl, Im so sorry to hear about your sitch but yep sometimes people just change. Def talk it out with her. Call her to talk or ask her to meet you to go for a wakl in your neighborhood. Best, Miliana
Miliana B.

abby777 on 10/4/2009 11:41:44 AM

hey well I'm just going to say that no matter who you are or what you think, you're still human and they should accept that. I'm best friends with many bisexual people-girls and guys-and there is no problem! your friends need to realize that even if you are bisexual, you know that they aren't and will respect their opinion. they should respect yours.

10paulfrank10 on 10/4/2009 11:13:01 AM

something like this does go against my religous beliefs, but me being the Christian girl that i am i don't judge people just because they're alittle different.
I have a friend who is gay and he goes to church and he's my BGF and i'll admit sometimes it's weird hanging out with him, but he's still my friend and i don't judge who he is.

angel365 on 10/4/2009 9:53:18 AM

Mod,Mod
I am a freshman in high school, and already alot of ppl in my grade and up have already been asked to homecoming and i am not okay with that,and nobody asked me and i feel like i am ugly but i am totally not,pretty brown with blonde high lights,no acne,no fatness, idk why boys think i am ugly but for some reason they boys call me a duck and go quack quack idk y they do that, bcuz i have a butt chin bcuz i have the dimple in it idk they are stupid, can someone help me pleasee!! (: xoxoxo

 

Aw, that's awful. Dimples are so adorable. I'm sorry those boys are immature. Well, not being asked to HC doesn't mean anything, girl. Some girls are the types to send major messages to guys to ask them and those guys rush to ask them too. But if you haven't found the right guy yet, see if you and a guy friend can go together. If not, go with a group of your girl friends and live it up as singles! Best, Miliana
Miliana B.

sarah1200 on 10/4/2009 8:57:35 AM

MOD MOD MOD MOD
My friend recently got invovled in an online chatting site.She has stopped going on it now, but she accidently showed someone an old picture of herself.What should she do? (and this truly is a friend not myself)

 


As I said to your earlier comment, it's ok as long as you don't give any identifying info. The picture was not a good idea but just tell her def not to go to that chatroom again or get in touch with that person. Best, Miliana

 
Miliana B.

xXHelpPleaseXx on 10/4/2009 3:41:08 AM

i love gay guys they r soo much fun.

fudgey88 on 10/3/2009 10:35:14 PM

I am pro-gay. I am not gay or bisexual. I have a few friends that are however. Granted, I'm not a very religious person, but isn't God supposed to love everyone anyway? So who are we as people to tell others what God wants and who he accepts?

That's one of the biggest double standards I can think of.

And doesn't God say that people should be treated equally? So why are you religious girls saying that this other girl is wrong to be feeling the way she is?

That's just my opinion. If you have a problem with it, comment on my profile so we can work it out. Hope I didn't offend anyone too much LOL

_savvygirl_15 on 10/3/2009 11:48:21 AM

Hey hon, I hope you can eventually tell your friends. Keep close to your BGF- it'll help both of you cope with your feelings.

PS- there's always girls on here if you need advice or just to vent Smile

_savvygirl_15 on 10/3/2009 11:44:11 AM

*MOD* *MOD* *MOD* i took one of the readers comments offensively and i was reading the posting ruels and is said not to rag on some body sexuality i think they should be sent an email or something!

 

Hey chica, thanks for letting me know. I'll check it out. Smile

Lynae P.

Danceque23 on 10/2/2009 11:23:49 PM

hey GLreader44!!!!!!!
i do not aperciate your comment what so ever!
i think it is VERY offensive!

Danceque23 on 10/2/2009 11:20:46 PM

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD Okay, so my friend has a BF and he wants to kiss her, but she's not ready. How should she tell him that she's not ready?

 

Hey chica, communication is essential in a relationship, so she should just spill it out to her boyfriend. Tell her to let him know she's not ready. She could always call, text or tell him face to face.

Lynae P.

samm213 on 10/2/2009 10:29:58 PM

Heyy. Check out my profile i need advice and a good friend i guess. Soooooo check it outs<3

brookeyy on 10/2/2009 8:33:47 PM

Hey girl im not against anyone no matter what the believe if ur bi so what ur a normal person! there are tons of people out there that are bi. if ur friends hav a problem with it they dont deserve you. And to those girls who say its against there religon i respect that but i completly disagree god loves everyone no matter what if u think being bi or watever is a sin. god forgives everyones sins and if someone is bi he STILL loves them just as much as before! Hang in girl u get through. and girls out there dont be disrespectful and say mean things its lik some1 saying ewww ur straight!

1bum10 on 10/2/2009 7:51:29 PM

homophobia is the modern racism, that's what my gay bff sam says. people don't get that its not a choice. i think that people think that way because a lot of people don't know until their older. like they chose in their teens to be gay. that's not the way it works, and i don't get why people are against it. i don't hear anyne making a deal about straight people, i've never heard of heterophobia!

x3crissangel on 10/2/2009 5:11:18 PM

i think i am bi
im scared to tell my friends tho

Danceque23 on 10/2/2009 4:03:59 PM



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