Ever since I entered middle school, everything has changed about me! Some things I'm happy about and some I'm not. Like how much I lie. In fifth grade I was so popular and had all the attention on me. I was so honest then. In sixth grade I was a little popular but now, in seventh grade, I'm absolutely nothing.
The problem is that I keep on lying. And I want to stop but I can't. Every time I open my mouth, some truth comes out...then all lies. And it's like I'm not there any more. But the lies are sooo realistic. They keep coming when people are around but when I try to put them on paper they stop. And I only fib at school! Please help me.
~ completely lied out but some are still coming
Hey girl, change is constant, especially as you’re getting older. It’s hard to think about how much I’ve changed in the past five years and how much you have (and will!). Middle school is a big stepping stone to high school, and you’re learning more about who you are and what you want to be. That said, you won’t be able to find out who you really are if you bury your true self under lies.
Little lies?
Telling a fib can be way easy and just slip out naturally. Sometimes it seems like the polite thing to do. If your bestie gets a horrendous haircut or your BF gets you a gift you just don’t dig, you let a li'l white lie slip... "thank you" or "you look great" even if it’s not true. You’re trying not to hurt their feelings, but you should use even THOSE lies sparingly.
WHY do you lie?
The thing is, chica, your friends want to get to know the real you. Your parents want to trust the real you. It’s time to break the habit of lying before you get in over your head. You’ll find it isn’t that hard either if you stick to one central idea: Honesty is the best policy. First off, try to think about WHY you're lying. Are you uncomfy 'cause you've changed? Upset since you're not as popular? Try to think about what types of sitches spark lies and why you could be letting fibs fly. Keep a journal and jot down what you lie about, when you lie and how you feel after. Then, make a list of all the TRUE, REAL reasons why you absolutely rock. Cross out all of your lies, or rip 'em up. Put the positive list in a place where you can easily see it to remind yourself of the reasons why you should be happy being you.
Lie detector!
It's gonna be hard to break the old habit at first, though. So, wear a rubber band and snap it every time you lie to catch yourself in the act. Those first few weeks, it’ll be a matter of making yourself tell the truth. If you aren’t really going to your friend’s house, tell your parents where you’re going so they won’t worry. When you do lie, counter the lie with a "just kidding" and force yourself to tell the truth. For a while, it’ll be self-correction, but after a couple weeks, you’ll find yourself lying less and less. Get your friends to help, too. Tell them to call you out when you start to fabricate or when something just doesn’t seem real anymore. With a good core team, you’ll get to the bottom of your icky prob.
Remember girlie, you can correct this prob, no lie there! All it takes is a little work on your part and realizing that the truth is better almost every time! Best of luck!
Infinite xoxo’s,
Alyssa B.
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BY CAITLIN R. ON 9/28/2009 7:00:00 AM 33 COMMENTS