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GUYS | GIRL TALK

104 Comments | Add Yours

Love across religious lines

 

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I have an issue with my boyfriend. 

I really love him, BUT there's one huge issue. He's Methodist and I'm Southern Baptist. I don't know what the differences are, but I'm sure there are some. Can you tell me what they are and how to kinda overcome them?


I know we're both Christians, so that's good, but I don't want to say something and accidentally offend him. I truly know NOTHING about the Methodist religion. 

P.S. I'm eleven and he's twelve, so we really don't have any control over anything like going to other churches.



-Religiously Confuzzled

Hey girl!  I’m so happy that you’ve found a great guy!  Even though you are both Christian, I'm sure there are a few diffs.

 
A li'l lesson
 

Traditionally, Southern Baptists are more conservative, and strive to “save” souls.  They also believe in adult baptism instead of infant baptism. Methodists usually have broader views, and they allow adult baptism and infant baptism (christening). The church organization and leadership works in a lil’ bit of a diff structure, but both religions have pretty similar worship and beliefs.

 
Talk it out

Do some research. Investigate a bit to find some basic info on your BF's religion. But, the best thing for you to do is to talk to your BF. Next time you’re hangin’ out, talk about your religions. It could be as simple as, "Hey, I'm headed to my church this Sunday, but just curious—what goes on at yours?" Explain your traditions and beliefs, then listen to his. You’ll find there are prob some diffs, but there will also be a ton of values you share. It could def bring you two closer, and help you understand each other’s faiths.

 
Love your differences
 

The most important thing to do is to keep an open mind. No two peeps agree on everything, and I guess religion is one of your things. If you two have diff beliefs, don’t try to change his mind, and don’t let him try to change yours either. Look at it this way—how boring would it be if the two of you felt the same exact way about everything? Snore! Accept it as a difference in views, and you two will be good to go. It’s important to be able to talk about serious things like this, and I know it can be kinda scary. But in the end, if you’re accepting of each one anothers' beliefs, it will only bring you two even closer. I hope this helps! 

 
Good luck!
 
Xoxo
-Kristen Y.


ARE BOYS GIVING YOU THE BLUES? CLICK HERE to submit your own problem to be answered on Girl Talk!

POSTED ON 10/2/2009 7:00:00 AM

POSTED IN dating advice, religion

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@ Lovely62 ~ amen! I could not agree more!

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by metal-luvr on 5/10/2011 6:39:19 PM

 
 

MODMODMOD
I'm a muslim, and my religion says I can't even touch boys before I marry. My mom, before school dances, tells me it is okay to dance but not too close. So I think she doesn't believe in that part of Islam that much. I'm kinda scared to ask her, but do you think it would be okay to have a boyfriend but not kiss or anything?? Tong




Hey girlie! Absolutely! It doesn't sam in the Islam faith you can't have a boyfriend who you can talk to and hang out with. As long as you keep true to its principles about not touching the boy you should be ok. As for your mom, I'm sure she'll agree since she said it's ok to dance with boys as long as your not too close - having a boyfriend to talk to can be seen as the same thing. I've known plenty of friends in high school who went out with boys, but they just never held hands or kissed. Just make sure the guy you go out with respects your religion and will honor the fact that you guys can't kiss while you're going out. 
Jessica W.

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by thecheshirecat119 on 1/3/2011 5:12:37 AM

 
 

MOD MOD
I have this same problem, except the guy I like is Christian (very conservative) and I am Jewish. We both like each other very much, but his parents don't want him seeing a Jewish girl. They told him that we are just too different. I really don't want to disobey his praents, but I don't think there being fair. Help?




Hey girlie,

I have a best friend who has also dealt with this issue, but I wouldn't recommend what she decided to do: her and her BF see each other in secret and their parents know nothing about it. It's tough on both of them Frown Religion is a strongly-rooted belief system though so you can't really talk them out of their beliefs. But how does he feel about things? Try talking to him about your options and see what you can do. He might be able to talk to them - not to change their minds, but to stick up for his own feelings and work through them together. Or he might know of a way that you can hang out and get to know each other without actually calling it dating to his parents. I'm really sorry, I wish I could give more concrete advice but you kinda have to go with the flow right now til you two come to an agreement Frown Good luck <3

Lauren C.

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by emmyquack on 12/20/2010 2:37:46 PM

 
 

@ orchdork333 AMEN!

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by Angel07 on 8/30/2010 5:33:33 PM

 
 

I don't think the different denominations should matter, if your both Christians. God hates division, so your basicly dividing yourself from other Christians who don't share in the exact details you do. Most of the time the differences aren't that different. We're all (including me)Christians and God loves us all!

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by Lovely62 on 5/4/2010 8:23:51 PM

 
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