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I feel like I'm the mom


Lately, my mom has been making me babysit my brothers after school and on school vacation days because she works a full time job and is a single parent. I never get to do anything with my friends on vacation. I was even unable to join the track team because I have to watch my brothers. I feel like I am a parent because I’m watching them more than my mom is. 

Whenever I try to talk to my mom about it she says I’m being ungrateful and that I don't do anything around the house to help out. She has no idea how much I appreciate what she does but I just feel like I need to spend some time with my friends, too. I don't know how I can spend more social time with my friends while I’m depended on to watch my brothers. It hurts that my mom thinks I don't do anything to help her out.

Hey girlie,

This is a pretty tough sitch. Props to you for trying to be so responsible! It sounds like your mom is prob under a lot of stress working all the time and trying to provide for you and your bros. So, try to be understanding of that.

Start a sched

That said, I think it's super important for you to get in some time socializing with your friends. Sit your mom down again and try to talk her again. Make sure it’s just the two of you in a quiet place so you can completely focus. Suggest making a sched that works for both you and her. Do it week-by-week or month-by-month. It will show her you want to help out but also that you need a little more time for you. Leave a day on the weekend or a few days during a school break free for you. Write down a few chores you can do while you watch your bros that you can do for each day of the week. At least this way, you'll be helping out but giving yourself some time to chill out and be a kid!

Tell mama you heart her, but...
Explain to your mom how important it is for you to have some hours to spend with your girls. And IT IS really important! Let her know how appreciative you are of her, how much you respect and love her and understand that she must be tired. But tell her that you need some time to de-stress. See if you two can compromise on an idea.
-Taeler L.

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POSTED ON 10/3/2009 7:00:00 AM


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