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Girl Talk

Dealing With a Diva

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I have a “friend.” Well, she thinks I’m her friend, but I’m not. Let’s just call her Destiny. Destiny is a snob and brags about how smart she is. She has some classes the grade ahead. She has a group of popular, rich kids she hangs out with too. I can’t STAND them, especially her. Everyone treats her like royalty.

Everything we talk about has to do with HER. And she’s trying to sneak into my best friend (we’ll call her Ella) and my friendship. She’s always whispering, gossiping, and giggling with Ella. And Ella’s TOTALLY annoyed by Destiny. And when I do anything slightly annoying, Destiny lightly hits me on the arm and says, “Knock it off!” with a smirk. She really shouldn’t be hitting me.

I CAN’T STAND HER ANYMORE! She’s been in my class since 2nd grade! How can I tell her she’s not the queen of the world, gossiping is annoying, she’s a snob, she’s not the smartest one, Ella and I are BFFs and she can’t butt into our friendship, AND hitting is mean? I need you guys.

~Bunnygirl~'

Hey Bunny,

Wowza, well, she does sound like quite a handful. Hmph, what can we do? Well let's start off with the easy fixes...

BFF: You and Ella are BFF and nothing, not even Destiny, can change that. So no matter how many times she butts into your friendship, you and Ella should be confident in your relationship not to care. She can try all she may, but if your friendship is solid, why worry about her?

Hitting: Next time she rears her arm back and gives you a little smack, let her know it's not cool to lay your hands on someone else. Tell her you know she doesn't mean any harm by it, but you don't appreciate being physically abused. Let her know you've got ears and can hear perfectly well so there's really no need for the hitting.

Gossiping: Gossiping only works when there is more than one person involved. So when she comes to you and Ella to dish about the latest this that and the other, show her that you’re not willing to reciprocate. If you don't partake or show interest in what she has to say, she'll move on to someone that does. And unfortunately, there will always be someone that does.

Diva-ness: I admit this can be really annoying. But understand that Destiny is probably having some insecurity issues and that's probably why she feels the need to constantly pump herself up. Although it would be mighty fulfilling to pop her bubble and bring her down to reality, why would you want to go through all that drama? I say just ignore her ways. Don't worry, even without you letting her know, she'll soon find out that the world does not revolve around her. Let's all hope that this revelation comes soon.

Hugs,

Jiae

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BY CAITLIN R. ON 10/7/2009 7:00:00 AM 33 COMMENTS

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33 READER COMMENTS

MOD*MOD*MOD*MOD*MOD*MOD**** ok so today, my friend went to her other popular friend's house, and she sent me a pic of them asking if i could put BESTIES<3 in it in pink.... i didn't want to bc i dont know the other girl and i am sick of my friend getting me involved with her other friends that idk .. so anyways, she got really mad at me bc i didn't want to and then we got in a huge fight.... we always get in fights and i hate it... idk what to do, one time when we were txting she told me that i was the best friend she ever had but she never acts like it.... what should i do? she's like really popular and outgoing but im not , im shy and dont have a lot of friends, im sorta mature for my age and my friend is immature... i dont try to be mean but i cant help getting mad at her all the time... this may not sound like a big deal, but u dont know what its like to be the outsider and during the summer, me and my friend ( whos popular) hung out with two boys ( who are also popular) and we always hung out with them and they made me feel popular and they would walk us home and stuff but when the school year started, they were all in a different house that me (in our school, we have red, white, and blue house for 7th grade)so i didn't really know anyone... how do i make new friends and talk to my other friend who hasn't been there for me? plz help... sry this message is soooo long.. i gots problems (lol jk). thx!! <3ily<3

Hey girl! It sounds like you and your friend have really drifted apart. Since your more mature, you do have diff interests and react differently to certain situations. That's totally normal. You can keep talking to this friend, but don't feel like you have to spend a ton of time with her if it's just not working out so well. Popularity is really not important. If there is anyone you've talked to a li'l bit, take some time to get to know them better. Say hi or just ask how their weekends were. Relax, be friendly, and let the convo flow. Over time, you'll get more comfortable, and it'll be a lot easier to chat with them. Best of luck! ~Kristen

Kristen Y.

cutiepie4567 on 11/8/2009 5:27:08 PM

MOD**** ok so... my bff and i haven't been talking lately. on friday she went to a karaoke party at our school and she's like really popular today she txted me a pic of her and her friend and asked if i could put SEXY BESTIES<3 in the pic in pink... i said no but she got really mad at me for saying no and then we got into a huge fight... the thing is... we always get into fights and im sick of it.. i don't know what to do plz help

Hey girl! If you still really want to be her bff, then you can try talking to her about it. Confront the issue, and let her know that you're sick of all this fighting. chances are, she is too, and together you can try to bicker less. But, people do drift apart, and maybe you're realizing that even though you two were great friends before, you're grown apart. If that's the case, there's absolutely nothing wrong with meeting new people. You can always try chatting with someone in a fun extracurricular or even getting to know those gals you talk with every now and then. You and your bff don't have to be nasty to each other, just allow yourself to expand your horizons. best, Kristen

Kristen Y.

cutiepie4567 on 11/8/2009 4:35:07 PM

() ()
(="=)># I made you a waffle.
() ()
#<(="=) but then i got hungry.

() ()
(>"#<) so i eated it. () ()
(="=)

LOL those bunnies are soooo easy to make. hope that cheers you up.

doasw on 10/29/2009 6:11:30 PM

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD *MOD* I recently had a small fight with my BFF, but we cleared it up a few days ago.But I'm still really mad at her; I'm just pretending not be annoyed by her and I have to act like I'm having a great time when we're hanging out when really I want to be with my other friends. what should I do?

Hey girlie,

If you're still bothered by the fight, you might have to move on. If your friend did something to offend you or hurt you and she apologized for it, it's time to forgive and forget. Sometimes you need just need space until you can forgive the person.

Megan P.

Megan P.

loveZac18 on 10/22/2009 12:37:05 PM

MOD MOD MOD MOD
i have a BFF (let's call her claire) and we recently (as in yesterday) had a small fight. She is always pressuring my crush by telling him to tell me he likes me (I know he does becuz he told me) and trying to force him to ask me out. (I'm only 11) so anyway, today at recess she was doing it again and she made him so frustrated he came up to me and said, to my face, 'massie i don't like you, i just really like you as a friend'. then as were walking home she screamed in front of everyone who was walking home, "I'm sorry about the thing with (my crush's name)!" i am really mad at my friend becuz she basically ruined my chances with the guy and i'm not speaking to her. I gave her a chance by calling her once, but she hung up on me and then I tried to call her again and she had turned her phone off. i really love my BFF but i am just SO mad at her. what should i do?

Hey babe,

Give yourself time to cool off before you reevaluate your friendship and talk to her again.

xoxo Allie

Allie S.

loveZac18 on 10/21/2009 6:30:44 PM

MOD MOD MOD My BFF (Kate) moved to my school last year with her BFF(Mary). We were all friends until one day I was at Kates house and Mary wrote her a letter saying that I was a brat and that she should ditch me for her and I didnt do anything! Mary didn't know that Kate showed me the notes and then i told Mary that i read the notes (Mary would write them once every week) and then Mary got really mad at us both. So Kate and I just hung out with each other and Mary made new friends and we were fine but now Mary keeps trying to take Kate away from me and Mary told Kate that i am super mean to her but I never talk to her!
Please Help!!

Hey babe, just be sure you talk to Kate so that she knows it's not true and for some reason Mary is trying to break up your friendship. Hopefully, if she's a good friend she won't listen to silly rumors like that and will be able to make her own decisions. Just talk it out and you'll be fine.

katelin s.

alliecat1010 on 10/13/2009 10:53:29 PM

MOD

My BFF (or is she?) has been calling me desperate behind my back (just because I'm not dating the most popular guy in school) and has been telling me to break up with him and everything. Today I found out why. It turns out my BF has been calling her names. I guess I can understand her wanting us to break up, but still. I really don't want to.
Me and my BF are really close now. So are me and my BFF. I just don't want to ruin one for the other. I'm gonna talk to my BF about the name calling, but if it doesn't stop, I'm really actually scared about what would happen. I don't want my BFF to say she doesn't want to be my friend if my BF keeps it up, but I don't want to break up with my BF either. Help!

MathGirl98 on 10/13/2009 4:11:21 PM

That would be annoying. Can't imagine! Good advice though Jiae!
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lasagna on 10/12/2009 2:58:44 PM

mod mod mod!!!(jello4eve bffl)
Ok my best friend louis, i have known him for forever and he was always funny and nice... well now he has a gf and she is nice to but every time i even talk to louis when heis around his gf he acts like a jerk! Then when he is not around her he acts like my normal best friend i have known forever. I don't know how to tell him because i still want us to be best friends!! What should I do????!!!!

Hey babe,

She may be acting this way because she is jealous of the friendship that you and him share. While she is his gf she isn't is best friend, you are. It may be best to first have a conversation with her about what's going on. Explain that you are not a threat, but that you would like to keep your relationship the same with your BGF. Tell her that you like her as a person and that you are glad they are together. If she knows where you are coming from she is less likely to feel jealousy towards you. If the three of you become friends that could really help to preserve your old friendship. Good luck!

xoxo

Katarina E.

jello4eve on 10/12/2009 11:47:31 AM

Mod: how do i make best friends? I have a bunch of aquaintences, but no best friends to hang out with, tell them who i like, have sleepovers with,go to the mall with how do i make these types of friends.

Hey girlie,

It's important not to force a friendship. Try to let it happen naturally. No one says every girl HAS to have a best friend. If you'd like to get closer to your aquaintences, then try asking a couple to go to the mall with ya. The more you hang out with them, the closer you will become.

Megan P.

Megan P.

abercrombieluvr on 10/12/2009 1:12:22 AM

mod** kristen-you are the best!!!!! thx for helping me w/ my never-ending q's!! i really appreciate it and LOVE ur advice!!!!! thank you!!!! <3

Aww, I'm glad I could help! ~Kristen

Kristen Y.

littlestarr22 on 10/11/2009 8:44:47 PM

mod** so me and this girl (well call her danni) well, she thinks im her friend but truth is...she annoys the heck out of me. she calls me everyday 2 see if we can hang out but i dont want to so i tell her that im 2 sore from dance. she made me join this thing online and then asks why im not on &&i tell her that my internet crashed. she is really clingy and i dont know how 2 tell her that i just dont really want to be friends with her cause shes sensitive && i tried that before but the she would start hurting me whenever things didnt go her way!!! sorry this is long, but I NEED HELP!!!!!!!

hey girl! Let her know that you don't really like that site she made you join instead of lying to her. Try to find some other girls who you think she'd get along with. Introduce them, and when she calls you to hang out, tell her you can't but suggest that she give those other girls a call. If you start hanging out with other girls too, you two will slowly drift apart. You don't have to be mean or confrontational, just show her that you need a little space too. Best, Kristen

Kristen Y.

littlestarr22 on 10/11/2009 8:34:49 PM

MOD MOD MOD My friend is sorta like that, too. The conversation seems like it's always about her and how this person hates her or how someone is being a jerk or this hurts or her week has been so crappy it's like this everyday! It's getting super annoying! It seems like she has to out do me in every way too! So my grandma died the other day and my parents are divorcing too. When i told her about my grandma she's like "o sorry, well my friend is being a jerk and I almost fainted in choir" Of course we went on about it and my issues were left in the dust! She's a great talker but not a great listener, help!

Hey chica, tell your friend everything you just told me. Let her know you love listening to her problems and being there for her, but sometimes you need some of that in return. Tell her you're going through things too, and need her advice once in a while.

Lynae P.

skichick95 on 10/11/2009 3:04:12 PM

you should tell her how you feel and if she hits you tell her to stop it hurts your feelings if she keeps on doing this tell a teacher they will handle it without a fight. Because i have a friend like that but i just ignore her and i dont do anything with her GOOD LUCK LEAH REEELDANCER

reeldancer on 10/11/2009 10:22:27 AM

also if i were in that sitiaton i would just say hey ur not the boss the queen or anything important ok?
ive done it before.

ayle187 on 10/10/2009 10:32:03 PM

wow sounds like all the girls in my class.

ayle187 on 10/10/2009 10:31:10 PM

*Mod*

Thanks for the great advice I'm trying to get over her but I feel so betrayed. I'm not sure whether other people think the same thing does everybody think I stink? should I shower twice a day instead of once? I don't even know if it was just her, or if others hate me the same. I'm not sure if I will ever trust anybody the same ever again. Thank you so much though

jojo85 on 10/10/2009 9:21:27 PM

1.say your name 10X's
2.say your moms name 5S's
3.say your crushes name3X'sa
4.now post this in 4 other spots
if you do this your crush will
kiss you on the nearest friday

cinnaroll17 on 10/10/2009 12:48:17 AM

*MOD* I used to have a best friend. Now I don’t. What happened was we were making a video together to put on YouTube and we wanted to show our friends it when we were done. I had more knowledge of the program because I had made two videos before. However from the beginning she pretty much took charge because we used her computer because she didn’t want to come to my house but I provided most of the pictures. Anyway we were way stressed and I was like come on it needs to be longer and so we should put this video in it. She didn’t want to so I finally put it in and fixed the whole thing. Anyway we finally got done yelling at each other and finished the video BUT the video wouldn’t go on YouTube! So we decided to just go to this party. So after the party I wanted her to sleep over but she didn’t want to so we just stayed at her house eating ice cream then she took me home around midnight. Well a few days later I got a call from her saying she put it on YouTube! I was very excited although a little ticked because she should have invited me over before she put it on but whatever. So I watch the video. She changed it without even telling me! She changed the music to songs I never even heard before and I had asked her to put my nickname (my middle name) instead of my first name but she didn’t! I was so flipping ticked no wonder she didn’t ask me to be over there! So I emailed her and told her I was mad. She replied and said that she figured I would be. So I got more mad and then she sent me a new email that said because I was mad at her she was going to say some stuff she wouldn’t when I wasn’t mad, then she went on to tell me that I stink that I need to shower, shave my pits and use deodorant she said it was GAY how I change my name on hotmail a couple times a week and that I was STUPID for wanting everybody to use my middle name instead of my first name (for my birthday she gave me a bracelet with my middle name on it and said that she got it before I started calling myself that because she thought I might want to use that name since I said I was sick of my first name). Anyway that hurt me on several levels so we emailed back and forth and then she told me that she was just using me because her other friend moved away for the year. So now we are not speaking to each other. This is not the first fight we have had we have at least two major fights a year and each time we get back together. Anyway I am worried she will tell her friends and my friends and then everybody will be mad at me. Plus she was my only friend so now I am alone. I just want to kill myself but I know that’s not the way out. I am so over her I don’t even want to be friends. I just don’t know what to do. I have nobody and now she won’t even look at me. I feel betrayed, how do I know other people don’t think that way about me? How will I know that other people don’t think I stink but just won’t tell me? How will I ever make friends feeling this way? I don’t trust anybody anymore I am just so sick of this. PLEASE HELP! I feel that if I can’t move on I will end up committing suicide. right after she told me everything wrong with me I went and cut myself. I just don’t know what to do anymore. Is this friendship worth saving? I want a CD I gave to her for her birthday back but I don’t want to ask for it back I also want to give the bracelet she gave me back but I want the CD back if I give the bracelet back, what should I do? Please help me I just don’t even want to live anymore.

Hey chica, sounds like it would be best if you guys weren't friends. You don't need a friend who will intentionally try to hurt and backstab you. So it may be best to have no friends then a couple of bad ones. For right now, give yourself time to get over loosing a BFF (because it can be hard) and get yourself together. Give her the bracelet back, and any other things she gave you that you don't want to keep. Remember, cutting and hurting yourself is not the way out. There are other ways to get your feelings out. One way is to write. Jot your feelings down in a journal or diary. You can also dance or sing your problems away. When you're feeling blue listen to your fave song, to cheer you up. And eventually you'll make good friends. Ones that will be there for you.

Lynae P.

jojo85 on 10/10/2009 12:01:02 AM

She sound like a girl I know stand up to her and I promise it's liberating!

Inshyra628 on 10/9/2009 11:23:31 PM

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD I have a huge problem with the new girl. (lets call her gina) she is really mean and annoying and she keeps trying to hang with my besties and i. they don't like her at all, and neither do I. She flirts with 1 of my bffs boyfriend, and she says all the guys like her, but not any of us. My main BFF told me today she heard gina talking to another girl in my grade in the locker rooms that she's gonna tell my bffs that i talk behind their backs and make up lies about them, so they would kick me out and so they will replace me with her. we told my other besties her "plot" and they told me if she tells them that, they will tell her they know what her scheme is, but I really need this girl to leave us alone and cool off. Any advice?

Hey girl, why don't you guys sit her down and talk to her. Let her know that you would gladly be her friend, without her feeling like she has to push her way into your friend circle. If she doesn't stop her actions after that, then it may be best to avoid her. By uninviting her to sit with you and not including her in your plans.

Lynae P.

jonasNtwilight3 on 10/9/2009 10:42:51 PM

1. say your name 10 times.
2. say your mom's name 5 times.
3. say your crush's name 3 times.
4. post this in 4 other spots and you crush will kiss you the nearest Friday.

bobbert1230 on 10/9/2009 4:22:01 PM

MOD! MOD! MOD! Okaay,so i have this friend like person. well actually just someone i know.. and she thinks shes all that and that is is beautiful and that everyone else is like her friend or totally loves her. but when that friend isnt there she'll share there secrets and diss them. she thinks were all her friends but most of us arent. im not a friend my other friends are like her pets...PLEASE REPLY ASAP!! btw, all these guys like talking to me but when "shes" there they're afraid to talk to me..one even said he's afraid of her..HELP PLEASE!

Hey girlie,

Sounds like this girl is seriously toxic. Stay away from her. Find time to talk to guys when she's not around. I don't even think you should waste your time trying to confront her if she's not even your friend. So just do your own thing and don't worry about her.

Megan P.

Megan P.

hcteh on 10/9/2009 10:38:48 AM

REALLY WORKS! TRY IT OUT!
1. Say ur name 10x
2. Say ur mom's name 5x
3. Say ur crushes name 3x
4. then paste this to 4 other articles, if you do this your crush will kiss you on the nearest friday

toby1 on 10/8/2009 9:48:19 PM

oh, that totally stinks, i would hate that, good luck girlie! :]

singergurly;) on 10/8/2009 9:25:07 PM

People like that are so annoying!!!!! It's like how did they manage to get all those friends in the first place if they're so annoying?????

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eckogirl567 on 10/8/2009 7:43:53 PM

(\_/)
('.')

OMG ITS A BUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!

BubbaleeEmalee123 on 10/8/2009 4:39:40 PM

Wow that's suckish.No offense,but that chick needs to shut her mouth.

actress96 on 10/7/2009 5:58:58 PM

Talk to her politely and say I don't think our friendship is working out. I don't appreciate you hitting me and trying to steal my BFF. Say these in a calm tone, otherwise you could start a fight with her and she will be meaner.

Check out my profile; I give the best advice!

God Bless!

Abriella123 on 10/7/2009 5:45:06 PM

Ouch! I have a friend (not really friend) who's just like that! Thanks for the advice! A special bunny for you!
(\_/)
('.')
("_")
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10_Person_Club on 10/7/2009 4:18:10 PM

MOD MOD MOD MOD! I have a friend that ive known for like ever. But she's always making fun of the school i go to and acts like shes sooo better....When I try to say things she gets mad and always has something mean to me and she also doesnt shower every day or every other days...sometimes she looks and smells dirty what should i do!!!
-So confused

Hey girl! A real friend wouldn't be so rude. Try telling her that it hurts your feelings when she disses your school and you would appreciate it if she stops. As for the smelly part, you could buy her some perfume or something. Maybe she will get the hint. Good luck!

XOXO

Liz

Liz L.

okcoolgirl12 on 10/7/2009 10:40:30 AM

Great advice Jiae!! I think she is having insecurity issues but if u "pop her bubble" then yeah that'll just cause more drama but just ignore and she'll figure things out on her own

Check out my profile girls, and please leave a comment, thanks!

SportyGal on 10/7/2009 8:42:20 AM