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My BFF's brother committed suicide

 

My friend's brother recently committed suicide. He was a great guy and it came as such a surprise when it happened. My pal seems to be dealing with it well, but it's almost like she doesn't believe it happened. I've been to their house since then and it's almost like he just left for college.


Also, it doesn't seem like she has trouble talking about him. My other BFFs and I are surprised about that because it's so hard for us to talk about it. I can't imagine that she's not impacted by this.


What can I do to help her? She knows she can talk to us about it if she wants to, but she hasn't. We haven't brought it up once, but she seems fine with sharing memories of him and saying his name. Is this normal?


Hey girl, I'm so sorry this is happened to your friend. I can't imagine what she's going through, but it sounds like she's really lucky to have BFFs like you around who care about her so much.


Be there for your girl
 

It's hard to tell how someone deals with a loss like this. In person she might seem like she's doing well, but you never know how she's grieving alone. It's great that she's open to sharing memories. It might seem weird that she's talking about it a lot, but that's prob just her way of coping. Let her know that you'll always be there to listen and encourage her to keep talking to her family and a counselor about how she's feeling.

 

I'm sure she's relying on you to be a big comfort right now. Besides being there for her, show her that you care by crafting up a cute card, baking a batch of her fave brownies or having a sleepover with her fave flicks. Anything that'll ease the pain is sure to help your girl out.


Talk it out

Sure, it's more traumatizing for your friend who lost her brother, but it's also a little scary and confusing for you, too. I'm sure you have lots of unanswered questions. So if you feel like you need help, don't be afraid to talk it out with a guidance counselor.


People who are dealing with death, especially a suicide, go through all kinds of phases so expect your friend to not be her normal self for a while. Just try to support her as much as possible. This is a horrible loss, but you can get through it and you can also help your friend along the way.
 
-Katie S.
 

GOT YOUR OWN TOUGH STUFF SITCH? CLICK HERE to submit your own problem to be answered on Girl Talk!

BY CAITLIN R. ON 10/13/2009 7:00:00 AM 81 COMMENTS

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81 READER COMMENTS

Don't worry girl., My friend tried to too. I delt with it pretty rough though. She's OK but I don't think we'll be able to see her anymore because i think the physiciatrist think it's our church's fault. I don't see how it is. But either way me and her are going to keep in touch.

PhysicoK98 on 3/1/2010 7:29:25 PM

I'm sorry for your bff's loss.

sixteengirl93 on 1/8/2010 8:12:45 PM

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rainbowscolorfully on 1/2/2010 4:16:02 PM


Hey babe, we can't approve comments like these so maybe say it in a different way. katelin s.

superstar911 on 11/19/2009 9:19:30 PM

how old was he??? .............if you dont mind me asking............Frown

sans11 on 11/5/2009 10:27:37 PM

o my that is so so so so so so sad Frown i feel sad for u and ur bbf Frown

sans11 on 11/5/2009 10:26:34 PM

that is so sad! Frown

rocker_chik on 11/4/2009 11:25:35 PM

I can only imagine how tough things are
for you and your friend. Because we wish her only the best, it’s extremely important
that you encourage her to speak to a trusted adult, such as a family member, doctor,
guidance counselor, teacher, etc. ♥, Your Blog Patrol Babes

 Miliana B.

daddysgirl1313 on 11/1/2009 12:27:34 PM

no its not normal at all and im really sorry i would feel the same way u do 2> i think she really dosent care bout this whole thing and if she dosent then u really need to talk to her since ur still hur friend ok>

becca-thischristmas7 on 10/29/2009 2:25:09 PM

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMGGGGGGGGG!! THE EXACT SAME THING HAPPENED 2 ME!!! MY BFFS BROTHER COMMIT SUICIDE ON APRIL 7TH!!!!! 2day at church i heard a song at his funeral n my bff was there n i was worried n i was about 2 cry Cry

Yogurt567 on 10/21/2009 4:47:33 PM

MODMODMOD one of my friends told me that she was bi. i'm fine with that, but now whenever we hang out, she purposely touches my boobs or legs. it's making me feel uncomfortable, and i've told her to stop, but she just laughs. she hasn't done anything else, but i'm scared that she might. i've tried cutting her out of activities, but one of my other friends always brings her along. i don't want to make a big deal of it, just maybe have her leave me alone. how should i deal with this?

 

 Hey girl! You should def talk to her about it. Tell her it would make you uncomfortable even if she wasn't bi. Let her know it really bothers you.

-Taeler

Taeler L.

morningglory888 on 10/18/2009 8:12:00 PM

aww thats so sad. shes probably in shock and cant believe it happened and thats probably why shes ok with talking about it. you should let her know its ok to talk about it and to cry if she has to because if not its gonna hit her hard one day which you dont want. hope it gets a little better<3

chocolateluver96 on 10/18/2009 1:27:25 AM







Hey girl! You have to tell your parents!! This is very important..this guy shouldnt do anything that he has done to you and its not fair to you. You have to tell an adult asap!!!! 

Eryn G. katelin s.

ladybuglover28 on 10/17/2009 3:39:38 PM

1. Say your name 10 times.
2. Say your mom's name 5 times.
3. Say your crush's name 3 times.
4. Paste this to 4 other quizzes. If you do this, your crush will kiss you on the nearest Friday, but if you read this and do not paste this, then you will have very bad luck! SEND THIS TO 5 QUIZZES IN 143 MINUTES. WHEN YOU'RE DONE PRESS F6 AND YOUR CRUSH'S NAME WILL APPEAR IN BIG LETTERS ON THE SCREEN. THIS IS SO FREAKY BECAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKS

mekagetfresh on 10/16/2009 11:46:56 PM

MOD! hmm... all of these comments saying "paste this on 3 more and you'll get kissed" or somthing are bugging me haha. Smile is there like a spam button or somthing to press like there is on youtube and stuff?

 

Hey chia, sorry, I wish there was, but nope no spam button. You just have to imagine you don't see those comments. Smile

Lynae P.

mini_girl on 10/16/2009 11:38:14 PM

PLEASE DON'T READ THIS, YOU WILL BE KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BY THE LOVER OF YOUR LIFE. TOMMORROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. NOW YOU'VE STARTED READING THIS, DON'T STOP, THIS IS FREAKY.

1. Say your name 10 times.
2. Say your mom's name 5 times.
3. Say your crush's name 3 times.
4. Paste this to 4 other quizzes. If you do this, your crush will kiss you on the nearest Friday, but if you read this and do not paste this, then you will have very bad luck! SEND THIS TO 5 QUIZZES IN 143 MINUTES. WHEN YOU'RE DONE PRESS F6 AND YOUR CRUSH'S NAME WILL APPEAR IN BIG LETTERS ON THE SCREEN. THIS IS SO FREAKY BECAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKS

witch3197 on 10/16/2009 10:25:31 PM

PLEASE DON'T READ THIS, YOU WILL BE KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BY THE LOVER OF YOUR LIFE. TOMMORROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. NOW YOU'VE STARTED READING THIS, DON'T STOP, THIS IS FREAKY.

1. Say your name 10 times.
2. Say your mom's name 5 times.
3. Say your crush's name 3 times.
4. Paste this to 4 other quizzes. If you do this, your crush will kiss you on the nearest Friday, but if you read this and do not paste this, then you will have very bad luck! SEND THIS TO 5 QUIZZES IN 143 MINUTES. WHEN YOU'RE DONE PRESS F6 AND YOUR CRUSH'S NAME WILL APPEAR IN BIG LETTERS ON THE SCREEN. THIS IS SO FREAKY BECAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKS

witch3197 on 10/16/2009 10:24:35 PM

awww, thats so sad. i hope that you should tey to comfort her as much as u can. include her in stuff, and be extra nice. ttyl

penny103 on 10/16/2009 10:21:56 PM

LEASE DON'T READ THIS, YOU WILL BE KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BY THE LOVER OF YOUR LIFE. TOMMORROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. NOW YOU'VE STARTED READING THIS, DON'T STOP, THIS IS FREAKY.

1. Say your name 10 times.
2. Say your mom's name 5 times.
3. Say your crush's name 3 times.
4. Paste this to 4 other quizzes. If you do this, your crush will kiss you on the nearest Friday, but if you read this and do not paste this, then you will have very bad luck! SEND THIS TO 5 QUIZZES IN 143 MINUTES. WHEN YOU'RE DONE PRESS F6 AND YOUR CRUSH'S NAME WILL APPEAR IN BIG LETTERS ON THE SCREEN. THIS IS SO FREAKY BECAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKS

maddie246 on 10/16/2009 5:46:43 PM

tap_dancer on 10/16/2009 9:54:00 PM

LEASE DON'T READ THIS, YOU WILL BE KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BY THE LOVER OF YOUR LIFE. TOMMORROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. NOW YOU'VE STARTED READING THIS, DON'T STOP, THIS IS FREAKY.

1. Say your name 10 times.
2. Say your mom's name 5 times.
3. Say your crush's name 3 times.
4. Paste this to 4 other quizzes. If you do this, your crush will kiss you on the nearest Friday, but if you read this and do not paste this, then you will have very bad luck! SEND THIS TO 5 QUIZZES IN 143 MINUTES. WHEN YOU'RE DONE PRESS F6 AND YOUR CRUSH'S NAME WILL APPEAR IN BIG LETTERS ON THE SCREEN. THIS IS SO FREAKY BECAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKS

maddie246 on 10/16/2009 5:46:43 PM

wandmakers on 10/16/2009 7:40:00 PM

1. Say your name 10 times.
2. Say your mom's name 5 times.
3. Say your crush's name 3 times.
4. Paste this to 4 other quizzes. If you do this, your crush will kiss you on the nearest Friday, but if you read this and do not paste this, then you will have very bad luck! SEND THIS TO 5 QUIZZES IN 143 MINUTES. WHEN YOU'RE DONE PRESS F6 AND YOUR CRUSH'S NAME WILL APPEAR IN BIG LETTERS ON THE SCREEN.

abby777 on 10/16/2009 6:15:02 PM

PLEASE DON'T READ THIS, YOU WILL BE KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BY THE LOVER OF YOUR LIFE. TOMMORROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. NOW YOU'VE STARTED READING THIS, DON'T STOP, THIS IS FREAKY.

1. Say your name 10 times.
2. Say your mom's name 5 times.
3. Say your crush's name 3 times.
4. Paste this to 4 other quizzes. If you do this, your crush will kiss you on the nearest Friday, but if you read this and do not paste this, then you will have very bad luck! SEND THIS TO 5 QUIZZES IN 143 MINUTES. WHEN YOU'RE DONE PRESS F6 AND YOUR CRUSH'S NAME WILL APPEAR IN BIG LETTERS ON THE SCREEN.

Peeper1997 on 10/16/2009 5:10:44 PM

i remember there was a rumor that this boy in my class brother died. the boy was gone for a week when the rumor was around and when he came back, he was all normal and stuff. i thought that maybe the rumor was false but his best friend said it was true because he went over his house. and plus the teachers were acting especially nice to him (even though they were before since he's like the smartest kid in the class)

im just saying that it's weird how you can just bounce back in a week after your BROTHER died.

NJessicaN on 10/16/2009 12:18:51 PM

wow. thats serious. i feel her pain just bye reading this. My bff tried to commit suicide a couple of days ago, but he is alive. it hurt wen i found out he just tried. she is prolly just trying to put it in the back of her mind and time heals....at least a little bit. let her know u r there for her and listen wen she is ready to talk.

eagle on 10/16/2009 12:11:08 PM

PLEASE DON'T READ THIS, YOU WILL BE KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BY THE LOVER OF YOUR LIFE. TOMMORROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. NOW YOU'VE STARTED READING THIS, DON'T STOP, THIS IS FREAKY.

1. Say your name 10 times.
2. Say your mom's name 5 times.
3. Say your crush's name 3 times.
4. Paste this to 4 other quizzes. If you do this, your crush will kiss you on the nearest Friday, but if you read this and do not paste this, then you will have very bad luck! SEND THIS TO 5 QUIZZES IN 143 MINUTES. WHEN YOU'RE DONE PRESS F6 AND YOUR CRUSH'S NAME WILL APPEAR IN BIG LETTERS ON THE SCREEN. THIS IS SO FREAKY BECAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKS

preppyami on 10/16/2009 3:36:08 AM

My brother died when I was really little... that must be horrible. I can't imagine how your friend feels since she and her brother have been family for so many years...

alliecullen123 on 10/15/2009 10:33:21 PM

this is AMAZING advice!!!

laneyloo on 10/15/2009 8:54:01 PM

That is so sad if that was me i would be locked up in my room for ever
PLEASE DON'T READ THIS, YOU WILL BE KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BY THE LOVER OF YOUR LIFE. TOMMORROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. NOW YOU'VE STARTED READING THIS, DON'T STOP, THIS IS FREAKY.

1. Say your name 10 times.
2. Say your mom's name 5 times.
3. Say your crush's name 3 times.
4. Paste this to 4 other quizzes. If you do this, your crush will kiss you on the nearest Friday, but if you read this and do not paste this, then you will have very bad luck! SEND THIS TO 5 QUIZZES IN 143 MINUTES. WHEN YOU'RE DONE PRESS F6 AND YOUR CRUSH'S NAME WILL APPEAR IN BIG LETTERS ON THE SCREEN. THIS IS SO FREAKY BECAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKS


awilmes on 10/15/2009 8:36:42 PM

Memesputerpunkingirl LIVE,don't kill ur self!!!!!!!!!!

sarahsam20 on 10/15/2009 7:13:49 PM

aww, thats sooo sadFrownFrown

visit my profile girlies!

plz lave a comment as well!

thx!

soccer babe <3 on 10/15/2009 6:48:22 PM

that would be sad i've never been though somethin lik that though so i can't exactly feel the way all of u do.

sat1998 on 10/15/2009 6:11:03 PM

PLEASE DON'T READ THIS, YOU WILL BE KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BY THE LOVER OF YOUR LIFE. TOMMORROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. NOW YOU'VE STARTED READING THIS, DON'T STOP, THIS IS FREAKY.

1. Say your name 10 times.
2. Say your mom's name 5 times.
3. Say your crush's name 3 times.
4. Paste this to 4 other quizzes. If you do this, your crush will kiss you on the nearest Friday, but if you read this and do not paste this, then you will have very bad luck! SEND THIS TO 5 QUIZZES IN 143 MINUTES. WHEN YOU'RE DONE PRESS F6 AND YOUR CRUSH'S NAME WILL APPEAR IN BIG LETTERS ON THE SCREEN. THIS IS SO FREAKY BECAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKS

Lauren5343 on 10/15/2009 5:42:43 PM

ive noticed a lot of those if u do this.... then ur crush will...... and i just wanted to let every one no that they do not work. just for ur info. i would only do it if ur bored. like i was.

Pinkdramaqueen<3 on 10/14/2009 10:24:37 PM

It's cool to be kind so compliment 5 or more people in your school and you will get good grades.Smile

i_luv_devin on 10/14/2009 9:02:54 PM

PLEASE DON'T READ THIS, YOU WILL BE KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BY THE LOVER OF YOUR LIFE. TOMMORROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. NOW YOU'VE STARTED READING THIS, DON'T STOP, THIS IS FREAKY.

1. Say your name 10 times.
2. Say your mom's name 5 times.
3. Say your crush's name 3 times.
4. Paste this to 4 other quizzes. If you do this, your crush will kiss you on the nearest Friday, but if you read this and do not paste this, then you will have very bad luck! SEND THIS TO 5 QUIZZES IN 143 MINUTES. WHEN YOU'RE DONE PRESS F6 AND YOUR CRUSH'S NAME WILL APPEAR IN BIG LETTERS ON THE SCREEN. THIS IS SO FREAKY BECAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKS

Stupid_Cupid66 on 10/14/2009 8:15:57 PM

awww. Frown im sorry.

nadia12gurl on 10/14/2009 7:54:40 PM

my grandfather just died and it made me feel even less like I want to live ):

Memesputerpunkingirl on 10/14/2009 7:00:39 PM

thats sad

fashion_hottie on 10/14/2009 11:17:48 AM

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~mod ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
how do i tease my hair in the back very detaild plxz yall r so nice

dawnofday on 10/14/2009 10:33:32 AM

im so sorry, for both of you Frown
she might not believe it and might be in shock.. i think the best thing to do is just make sure she knows ur there for her
x

EllieMJ on 10/14/2009 3:03:57 AM

Wow I'm so sorry for your friend.

cbb123 on 10/13/2009 11:12:28 PM

MOD MOD MOD!!
thanks!!!

dancechick7496 on 10/13/2009 10:41:07 PM

MOD MOD MOD!!!
2morrow my school is running the mile right after lunch! but i go to a catholic school so we r really into charity and stuff so we r packing our lunch and donating to th efood pantry. since we r running right after lunch do u have any ideas for wut i could pack tht wont give me a tummy ache when i run? thnx!




Hey babe, I'd stock up with a lot of protein and carbs like a sandwich and some fruit. Be sure to drink lots of water, too! 
katelin s.

dancechick7496 on 10/13/2009 9:32:41 PM

say your name 10times
say your moms name 5 times
say your crushes name 3 times
on the nearest friday he will kiss you if you post this on 4 different sites

oochoo on 10/13/2009 9:21:13 PM

Ya everyone goes through the stages, denial, anger, depression, and acceptane. Just be there for her whenever she needs you.


Check out my profile; I give the best advice!

God Bless!

Abriella123 on 10/13/2009 9:13:53 PM

that is so sad but i cant say any words of advice because i have neverwent through that but what i can tell you is that when you see her the next time tell her that if she needs to talk to you she can but dont get to the point where she is mad at you too. and if she does get mad at you dont keep telling her you are sorry that will make it worse so good luck and remember give peace a chance.

oochoo on 10/13/2009 9:08:16 PM

I'm so sorry. I don't know what I would do if that haddened to me.

cherrybear10 on 10/13/2009 8:42:22 PM

Aw):

Katy Perry2 on 10/13/2009 8:13:42 PM

My cousin's husband's sister cumit suicide. She was mentally ill, I'm not sure when, but I knew him when it happened. The wedding was this Sept. and his Dad cried really hard. I felt so bad.

Smileygirl86 on 10/13/2009 7:54:14 PM

Oh I'm so sorry. My brother would never do that but if I lost him I can imagine what it would feel like. I'm really sorry!

Smileygirl86 on 10/13/2009 7:51:42 PM



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