My friend's brother recently committed suicide. He was a great guy and it came as such a surprise when it happened. My pal seems to be dealing with it well, but it's almost like she doesn't believe it happened. I've been to their house since then and it's almost like he just left for college.
Also, it doesn't seem like she has trouble talking about him. My other BFFs and I are surprised about that because it's so hard for us to talk about it. I can't imagine that she's not impacted by this.
What can I do to help her? She knows she can talk to us about it if she wants to, but she hasn't. We haven't brought it up once, but she seems fine with sharing memories of him and saying his name. Is this normal?
Hey girl, I'm so sorry this is happened to your friend. I can't imagine what she's going through, but it sounds like she's really lucky to have BFFs like you around who care about her so much.
Be there for your girl
It's hard to tell how someone deals with a loss like this. In person she might seem like she's doing well, but you never know how she's grieving alone. It's great that she's open to sharing memories. It might seem weird that she's talking about it a lot, but that's prob just her way of coping. Let her know that you'll always be there to listen and encourage her to keep talking to her family and a counselor about how she's feeling.
I'm sure she's relying on you to be a big comfort right now. Besides being there for her, show her that you care by crafting up a cute card, baking a batch of her fave brownies or having a sleepover with her fave flicks. Anything that'll ease the pain is sure to help your girl out.
Talk it out
Sure, it's more traumatizing for your friend who lost her brother, but it's also a little scary and confusing for you, too. I'm sure you have lots of unanswered questions. So if you feel like you need help, don't be afraid to talk it out with a guidance counselor.
People who are dealing with death, especially a suicide, go through all kinds of phases so expect your friend to not be her normal self for a while. Just try to support her as much as possible. This is a horrible loss, but you can get through it and you can also help your friend along the way.
-Katie S.
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POSTED ON 10/13/2009 7:00:00 AM
POSTED IN how can I help my friend, dealing with tragedy