Kerra S.

is modding

Dear Carol

I'm Afraid to Die

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This might sound silly but it’s true: I’m afraid to die. I think about it mostly at night. I look to each birthday with dread knowing that the older I get, the sooner I’ll die.

I really love my grandma, and I hate to think someday she’ll die. I’ve already talked to my parents. Please give me advice.

-Scared to Death

Dear Scared to Death,

Few of us look forward to the inevitable, but the good news is that you probably have decades and decades and decades ahead. When it comes to death, many people find comfort in religion. Many try to glean wisdom from philosophers and writers (from Plato to Camus to Woody Allen) and many just go into a happy, healthy denial and do their best to make the most of each day and not give the grim reaper much thought. If morbid thoughts are keeping you awake at night, say to yourself, “Self, now cut it out. I know what you’re up to, and I won’t go there.” Then think about your crush, favorite song, best friend, last vacation, or the sound of the surf, or just picture yourself floating on a cloud.

I wish you and I were both immortal. We’re not, but life is long and while you’re here, you might as well figure out what makes you feel good, how to love and be loved, and how to help others. It’s fine to be a deep person who ponders the big picture; but it’s also OK to turn on some tunes and get into living. My suggestion: Bobby McFerrin’s “Don’t Worry, Be Happy.”

Want More Advice? Order Carol Weston’s Girltalk Fourth Edition: All the Stuff Your Sister Never Told You. It’s got the answers to all of your most important questions. So if you're looking for tips, quotes, advice, or just plain info about growing up, friends, boys, school, family stuff, substance abuse, or any problems big and small, check out Dear Carol's Girltalk or For Girls Only. They'll help you feel confident, inspired and energized!

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BY CAITLIN R. ON 10/30/2009 7:00:00 AM 164 COMMENTS

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164 READER COMMENTS

I get scared of dying, too! I don't like getting older either, and I don't like birthdays.
I am Christian, so my beliefs comfort me.

BrigitteKisheretoStay on 11/18/2009 7:02:24 PM

Hey Girl's! The one way to avoid death is right here! At the Teen Christian Club! Come on and join!

Teen Christian Club on 11/14/2009 9:50:40 PM

omg! i feel the same way about death. it just freaks me out when i think about it sometimes, and then i can't sleep at night. the way i approach it is: life is too short to worry about the time when it will eventually end. live your life to the fullest amount possible, and that might take your mind off death.

goldielox7 on 11/14/2009 9:54:31 AM

1. Say your name 10 times.
2. Say your mom's name 5 times.
3. Say your crush's name 3 times.
4. Paste this to 4 other quizzes. If you do this, your crush will kiss you on the nearest Friday, but if you read this and do not paste this, then you will have very bad luck! SEND THIS TO 5 QUIZZES IN 143 MINUTES. WHEN YOU'RE DONE PRESS F6 AND YOUR CRUSH'S NAME WILL APPEAR IN BIG LETTERS ON THE SCREEN. THIS IS SO FREAKY BECAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKS

dancing_cheerleader28 on 11/12/2009 4:05:33 PM

just try to not be scared

jenine123 on 11/10/2009 7:45:56 PM

i try not to think about it and try like if you can go on a little trip for like a weekend that would get your mind off things i have the same proble ps i can't spell lol
~Pokergirl14

pokergirl14 on 11/8/2009 8:24:11 AM

CHECK OUT MY PROFILE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

winneconnerocks on 11/7/2009 8:38:33 PM

Omg i know how you feel! And i thought i was the only one! Thank you for going out in the open and saying that!

txtr1197 on 11/7/2009 7:58:55 AM

MOD! MOD! MOD! I have a seroius problem. This guy and I were best friends last year. We used to sit together on the bus & talked all the time. I knew he liked me & my friend knew he did too, but I didn't feel the same way. Now i like him a LOT, but I don't think he likes me anymore. He never talks to me anymore & now that i like him I CAN'T talk to him. We have an 8th grade dance this year & i really want to go with him. PLZ help!

Hey babe,

You used to be able to talk to him, so just try to forget how much you like him. You can even use the dance as an excuse to catch up, since you guys haven't talked in a while. He might still like you but just think you aren't interested. You'll never know for sure unless you try!

xoxo Allie

Allie S.

sarah97 on 11/6/2009 4:59:07 PM

Join club COLORs!!
Advice for ANYthing!
Check it out if you want to be apart of it.
Send us your problems
thanks

club colors on 11/6/2009 10:48:10 AM

Mod-
When: lunch time
Where: skl Bathroom
What happened: A girl (we shall call her T)shouted out loud, "Devin, You look like a Gorilla!" and my come back was, "Well, you look like a ***** (censoring and yes I am mad at myself for cussing) so I don't know what your talking about..." EVERYONE LAUGHED cause it was so fuuny, Then I walked away, with my 2 buds who were with me (calling them K and J). All of T's "friends" went out and said I was "funny" and so did K and J. I felt horrible about it though. No matter how funny it was.

I tried apologizing ,but K and J stopped me and told me it would just ruin the joke if I said anything else. Then everyone walked away.
Why this is wrong: T is a girl who gets into fights.

Hey babe, I'm not sure what it is that you're asking but if you feel bad about saying something mean to the girl then talk to her about it. Let her know you're sorry but you were standing up for yourself since she said something rude to you. I'm sure you can work it out.

katelin s.

i_luv_devin on 11/5/2009 10:43:05 PM

well my parents say i have to weigh 100 lbs by christmas or i dont get presents but i am too young to be so fat help plz

samywilla on 11/5/2009 9:11:24 PM

I'm afraid to die also but I know when I die I'm going to remember the good times the times I loved and even the ones i didn't like. It's ok to be afriad to die but don't think about death think about the good times and even the bad mabe even the big mistakes u made in life.

lovlypop101 on 11/5/2009 7:41:35 PM

mod
i like a guy in my class and i think he likes me to but if i say anything everyone will laugh and make fun of me because im in grade 5 people arent open about feeling like in high school. and if i tell my bff she will run screaming eww gross and i have no one to tell but my dog and my teddy bear! what do i do?

Hey girl, sounds like you've got a real case on your hands. I say instead of talking to your teddy, however, you talk to this guy and get to know him. Start as friends first. There's no need to have a BF right now (you're way young!) but there's no reason why you can't have another guy friend!

xoxo

Alyssa B.

dolcecupcakes on 11/5/2009 7:09:12 PM

Mod, I have a problem. I live in a town where it doesn't have a good reputation and I see why. But the main problem I have is the bus. Either in the morning or afternoon a fight is always started after dumb things are said or someone's opinion being to opinionated about another person. How do I block this out so i don't hear the negative things.

Hey girl! Just ignore it. You can be the bigger person and not pay attention to it! If you don't listen it won't bother you!

-Taeler

Taeler L.

gabs12 on 11/5/2009 3:24:48 PM

MOD MOD MOD!
sorry, but this is really important! im moving across the country at christmas, and im really scared. iv moved form new york to california, and now im moving to indiana. ive come close to crying many times at school and have cried once. every moment hurts because the good ones you know youll never have again and the bad ones hurt cause their just bad moments. sometimes i want to leave, and sometimes i dont. at school, im the wierdo. al =ot of people make fun of me, and that doesnt help. many of my friends i know ill never see, and i dont want that to happen. we dont know where were moveing, but were probably moving into my cousins basement until my parents get a job. im really scared and sad alot. im afraid im becoming bratty. can you give me some advice? Thank you so much!

Hey girl, I'm so sorry to hear about the moving. The thing to know though? With a new school, you can be a new you. Be confident! Know the friends you leave aren't out of your life forever. Programs like Skype let you even video chat with friends who are far away. It's like they're in the next room. Stay strong, sweetie, and take things day by day. Enjoy the time you have before you move and know that moving isn't the end. It's just the beginning.

xoxo

Alyssa B.

anne1095 on 11/4/2009 10:58:47 PM

thank you so much!

anne1095 on 11/4/2009 10:51:51 PM

Mod, ever since my big sis got a full time job @ Swiss Colony on Monday, I haven't seen her. I really miss coming home to finding her watching our fav tv show and then playing board games later @ night. I won't see her 'til Saturday or even Sunday! What am I supposed to do?

Hey girl, I know it's hard, but try calling up another friend. Ask your sis to make some time for a movie night when she gets back from work too. That way you can still have your girl time. It might just be a little later than before.

xoxo

Alyssa B.

cats-r-the-best on 11/4/2009 10:33:40 PM

mod mod mod mod!
ok so, my friend, she is always manipulating people inti giving her things and doing things for her! for halloween, she needed some sneakers, so she borrowed my friends little sisters sneakers. she hasnt returned them, and they had to get new shoes. she has a hard family life. her mom works for wal-mart and uses her money on useless things. her parents are divorced, so i feel bad for her, but she has manipulated lots of people including me a lot, and its getting really annoying. i dont want to say anything to her cause i still want her to be my friend, and if i say anything she will never talk to me again. what do i do! PLEASE HELP!

Hey girl, that's def a hard sitch to be in. My suggestion is to casually bring up the fact you lent something out and she hasn't quite returned it yet. Hint the problem, don't explicitly say it. She should return the stuff with a gentle hint.

xoxo

Alyssa B.

anne1095 on 11/4/2009 10:29:46 PM

hey. can any of you girlies help me out? what is your definition of going out and dating? are they the same thing? and when someone asks you "will you go out with me?", what does that really mean? and what do you do when you go out or date? thanks! answer on my profile!

Sydney on 11/4/2009 9:46:31 PM

Im not all that afraid to die, life is full of suprises, but with death theres no suprises, no happy times, no sad times.

shining star on 11/4/2009 9:18:01 PM

Hey what is MOD? mod if you are reading this hat are you? I have noticed you posting replies to other girls comments.... ANYWAY check out my profile peeps I am new to GL and I am ready to give advice and comment comment comment!!!

Hey girl, mod means moderator. On GL, we basically answer all your Q's. All it takes is a little MOD shout-out before your Q on your post, and we look at each and every one.

xoxo

Alyssa B.

kit9kit on 11/4/2009 9:15:15 PM

im very scared 2 die i dont want to :{

graciela32 on 11/4/2009 8:42:04 PM

hey ik this sounds weird but just imagine dying...like having nothing and being nothing and possibly going to heaven...idk to me that sounds better than life on earth! i would never die on purpose though. i think i would rather die in my sleep

magzluvscookies on 11/4/2009 8:22:31 PM

mod mod mod mod mod mod
in march (i know it is a long way) but we have a test for push ups, mile run, curl ups, stuff like that (i am nine btw) and i am NOT good at running (push ups and curl ups i started to practice) and where i live it is super hot right now so i cant practice the mile run!!! how can i practice the mile run (aka nine laps at my school) without having to go to a track and practice in the burning sun?
girlies are welcome to answer on my profile

Hey babe,

Try running in the morning or the evening when it's a bit cooler. It's great that you're getting ready this early!

xoxo Allie

Allie S.

sparkleey on 11/4/2009 8:19:59 PM

don't worry girlie!!!!!
im afraid of it 2

hitthemall#1 on 11/4/2009 7:47:03 PM

I've had that problem since I was 4 when my grandma died (now I'm between 13 and 15). After I read this I tried all the stuff it told me to do. It didn't work.

Francab on 11/4/2009 5:52:01 PM

It's okay!!!!! Lots of people are afraid of dying but everyone dies at one time or another. Don't worry about something you cant fix

3m!ly on 11/4/2009 5:37:43 PM

dont be afrid its ok coz if ur a true christain you'll go to heven and u may never die the rapture might happend before u get old so dont be scared! Love:from someone who cares.. saria

zmizzxsaintz on 11/4/2009 2:34:38 PM

When I wake up in the morning
and I start to walk to the bathroom,
I say to myself in my mind,
I can't believe I'm talking,
I have a brain,
I'm walking,
but when I die,
I don't think I will breath but,
I say to myself don't think about it,
there is no reason to think about it now at my age.

girlygirlsareme on 11/4/2009 11:45:09 AM

I went through this phase after I decided I didn't really have a religion because I didn't know what was true. Living that way didn't work for me so I like to believe that there is a God.
Someone said something about being afraid because afterlife goes on and on and I know! I kind of am too
But think about it, after you die you can do ANYTHING you want. Whether it's to stay on Earth and see your grandchildren, eat all the dessert you want (hehee), travel to different DIMENSIONS/go back in time! The possibilities are endless, so you have the rest of eternity to discover, explore, and have fun. I believe life on Earth is just kind of a test, to see if you are a good person or not. And if you are honestly a good person, God will take you when the time is right.
So just have fun with life here! Things will all turn out okay.

chocoholic4ever on 11/4/2009 1:59:15 AM

im a little scard but not much <3 peace

sans11 on 11/3/2009 11:41:16 PM

Mod-
Never in my life have I gotten straight A's.
I want to change that.
My question is how can I do that?
Right now I have:
Social Science 8 (I have this grade because I didn't turn in a Progress Report)
B-
Algebra Readiness 8 (yay!)
A
Video Production (Alright!)
A
Science 8 (I keep on losing my science folder coincidentally whenever a BIG assignment is due and its most likely cause I move around during and after skl a lot and you never know when something is lost, help)
F
Phys Ed 8 (I try)
B-
English 8 H ( My teacher has been PILING work on my class and its hard to keep up with everything)
D-

Hey babe, it sounds like you're doing a good job in school and setting your priorities. Try making a work schedule that you can stick to realistically. Ask your teachers and parents for help when you don't understand something and try to stay on top of all the work and you'll do fine! Try your best and that's all ya can do.

katelin s.

i_luv_devin on 11/3/2009 11:10:26 PM

MOD My mom is always yelling at me and telling me to do chores when my bros and sisters dont do anything and theyre in there 20s living with us.I tryed telling her how i feel but she thinks im ridiculos.Then i go and cry secretly.Then she always tells me not to talk back or be smart to her and im just being normal.Plz help

Hey girl! Hmm..tough one. Try talking to you mom and explaining how you feel. Sit her down and talk it out with her.Maybe you two can come to a compromise!

-Taeler

Taeler L.

watergal47 on 11/3/2009 8:15:19 PM

Wat im scared of is afterlife. It goes on and on and on!!!!!! nevr ending!!!! thts wat im really scared of cuz wen u think about it ending isnevr gonna happen! ever!!!!!!!! i get really scared sometimes and i donno wat 2 do. Help!!!!!! now im freaked out evn more!!!!

tennisstar21 on 11/3/2009 6:52:03 PM

i use 2 b the exact same way but i just thought that there is a lord out there n he will protect yew

conversechica on 11/3/2009 5:58:47 PM

MOD im not fat but VERY pudgy and i try sooooo hard to eat healthy but i end up becoming flat out starving and veggies and fruit and right portions just leave me hungry...do u have any ideas of what to eat that's healthy and will keep me full?

Hey girl! Try almonds or popcorn as snacks. Pick up yogurt or pretzels. Focus every day on eating right and it will get easier!

-Taeler

Taeler L.

butterfly12345678910_ on 11/3/2009 4:56:04 PM

Aww

Viisiit My Profiile
-Tina <3

angelgurl22 on 11/3/2009 4:50:52 PM

Another thing. i went to my bffs church and her mom sang and played violin andthe band was called the i cants but the picture was of a tombstonewith i cant on it. get it?????they sang about a lot of things religious like so the next day i went home got in bed and realized that i wasnt scared of anyone or me dieing. i slept so well. i think i was convinced that it was fine to die. i was only halfconvinced the day b4. hope you feel better!!!! i reccomend going to a nice adult that you like its so much easseir to talk to them. i luv talking to one of the counslers at my sckool shes sonice!!!!

d00dleg4l18 on 11/3/2009 4:35:18 PM

OMG i thought iwas crazy nad like the only person who is afraid of death. ive lost my grandpa and my friend lost her mom a short while later so i scared me. i think just like you do!!!!!! im afraid my grandma is going to die i dont even like sleeping at her house cuz im afraid im gonna wake up and she will be dead. But thx mod and girlie!!!!

d00dleg4l18 on 11/3/2009 4:23:09 PM

MOD MOD MOD My band teacher doesn't say "under God" when we say the Pledge of Allegiance every morning. I know some people don't believe, but it disturbs me because I have to sit in front every morning and watch him duck his head at that part. Also, he has a symbol on his wrist & I don't know what it means. ): Also, I heard that over the Halloween weekend, these 4 very popular girls went to 1 of the girl's birthday parties and got wasted and smoked cigarettes. And we're only 13! I know this doesn't really involve me but it makes me see one of those girls differently. I always thought she was nice even though she hung out with them (& they're really disrespectful and mean) Help!

Hey girl! Well, for both probs, you really can't control another persons actions or beliefs. So, while you may be disappointed by them, unfortunately, there is not much you can do! Follow what you believe and be yourself.

-Taeler

Taeler L.

idolobsession96 on 11/3/2009 3:17:14 PM

MOD MOD MOD!!!
I want to quit this club I've been involved in,for good reasons.How do I tell them?

Hey girl! You could tell them that you are busy with other things and no longer have time to be in the club. You can tell them that you enjoyed being a member, but you have other commitments now.

Eryn G.

Chelle Belle on 11/3/2009 12:55:00 PM

About a year ago went through the same thing. Every day and night i would walk around taking everything in imagining it not being there the next day or not being alive to see it. Even when my mom left for Vermont one weekend with her friends i broke down and snuck into her car because i was so afraid that she wouldn't make it back alive and i would never see her again. But the thing is, after about a month of that i realized that i wasn't really living if i was always paranoid about how to avoid death. I know it sucks and that its really hard to go through but soon enough you will realize that you have to move on and live.

ponyluver123 on 11/3/2009 9:56:48 AM

everyones a little afraid of death, but believing in god will help. i'll pray for all of you. i'm sorry you're going through this maybe go to church with a friend a couple times? try it. it may help

swimmerxox on 11/3/2009 8:14:41 AM

Mod, So, i need some advice. It kinda seems like i have a lot of friends, but, like, i'm not really close to any of them. Sometimes i think that they secretly don't like me, because i never have any plans for the weekend because they never ask me to hang out. And anytime I try to make plans, everyone's already busy! So, how do I get closer to some of my friends? Thanks in advance! (p.s. i would like to give a big old thank you so much to all mods!)

Hey girl! Try talking to them more and getting to know them. Ask them questions about their school and family. Try talking to some other girls in your classes to and ask them to a movie or to hang out this weekend!

-Taeler

Taeler L.

pinkandlime on 11/3/2009 7:29:16 AM

i had this same prob. I also dont believe in afterlife. I just live life to the fullest but at night i do get scared about it.

groovygoat on 11/2/2009 11:12:24 PM

MOD-
me and my brother noticed how most people are afraid of death. we are a little different. we are afraid of pain. lots and lots of it. is that weird?

Hey babe,

Not at all. Everyone is going to die eventually. It's better to embrace the life you're living and enjoy it to the fullest no matter how long or short it is. Pain is a different story. I'm afraid of pain. It's not weird at all.

xoxo Keltie

Keltie E.

ash_hollow on 11/2/2009 10:56:56 PM

well i am too. cuz i mean i believe in god, but what if there wasnt?? i mean i dont believe that but i scare myself sick when i think of that. oh well. just be glad to die cuz just think, no more pain, and u dont have to be here to witness the world blowing up (as in, in a billion trillion million gazillion years from now when the suns rays will expand)

ladybuglover28 on 11/2/2009 10:40:06 PM

Hey guys if you have any questions about heaven and if you are going to it i would suggest you read "Heaven for kids" it answered a lot of my questions! it is a really good book!

valentina12 on 11/2/2009 7:55:13 PM

OMG Thank you!!!!!!! I'm am sooooooooooooooo scared of dying! I've never talked to anyone about it cuz i'm afriad of what my parents will say and all my friends think dying is peaceful. I'M SOOO SCARED!!! Girl ur not alone trust me

puppylove123 on 11/2/2009 7:28:37 PM

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YOU WROTE IT

It was a strange scent, faintly familiar, like the perfume my mother used to wear. The aroma lingered around me, smelling like dried sunflowers and a soft touch of the new spring air.

LOGIN OR SIGNUP

Kerra S.

is modding

Dear Carol

I'm Afraid to Die

164 READER COMMENTS

POST A COMMENT