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My BFF is suicidal

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My best friend told me that she wants to kill herself! She even showed me a book about how she was going to do it! I told an adult right away! The said they were gonna get her help.

Before I told an adult I showed one of her friends...who ended up blabbing it to everyone. I feel really bad that everyone knows her business. She is mad at me because I told her I don’t really think she wants to kill herself.

I also told her that I think she is just trying to get a shoulder to cry on. I said I would always be there her I just don’t like the way she was asking me! Now what?

-Samantha

You did the right thing by telling an adult. Talk to your friend (the one who blabbed) about what she did and explain that you told her about your mutual friend’s problem in confidence (news flash: that means you thought she'd keep it a secret!). You might want to tell the blabber that you’ll have a hard time trusting her in the future, since she shared your friend’s very personal problem with so many people.

Next, explain to your best friend how sorry you are that it got out to so many people, but that you were just trying to get help. Try not to make her problems seem smaller or tell her that she doesn’t really want to kill herself. Even if you believe it’s true, such statements will hurt her and make her trust you less. Then, explain again that you’re always there for her, that you want to help her, and that you would be so incredibly sad if you ever lost her as a friend.

Suggest that whenever she gets depressed or feels suicidal again, that she call you, an adult she trusts, or a suicide hotline CLICK HERE for more information on help lines. That way, someone can help her talk through her problems and concerns and prevent anything dangerous from happening.

-Andie

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BY CAITLIN R. ON 11/4/2009 7:00:00 AM 32 COMMENTS

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Aw, I'm so sorry :[

[xganzxalleinx] on 12/12/2009 3:34:45 PM

MOD!!! please reply, i asked this question a few days ago and still got no reply!
i told my parents the situation with my back stabber of a "friend" and that i may be depressed and how my "friend's" words affected me and all they did was yell at me... and now that i'm ignoring her, her mom has been contacting my parents and is telling them that i'm ignoring my "friend" and that i'm the one being mean.... and my parents believe her and not me so i don't know what to do... i can't stand it anymore and i really want a way out....

I suggest you go to a counselor at your school and see if they can help. You need someone to help you get perspective and help you get through to all the parents. Good luck! xoxo kerra

Kerra S.

XxRaNdOmLyXmExX on 12/5/2009 8:56:56 PM

hi,,,i wonder if some one can help me on this,,, i moved to anew school and i got this friend i really dont like her i just dont wanna hurt her feelingz,, but she is so nice and helpful but i really dont want to up set her... plz help me

n00ra95 on 11/25/2009 9:10:15 AM

MOD!!!
i want to tell my parents about my situation, but i don't know how to tell them. i'm scared of what their reaction will be. how do i tell them. do you know how i can bring this up with my parents

Heygirl!They will understand you just have to open up and talk to them.

Eryn G.

XxRaNdOmLyXmExX on 11/24/2009 4:24:53 PM

MOD!!!
we don't have a school counselor, and i don't want to get my parents involved, because her parents will get involved and soon the whole school will know... i don't want more people getting into this!

Hey girl! It's really important to have an adult involved in this. I know you might think you can handle it on your own, but the issue is bigger than you might think and adults have experience with this kind of stuff or at least handling tough situations. Talk to a trusted teacher if you don't have a guidance counselor.

Liz

Liz L.

XxRaNdOmLyXmExX on 11/23/2009 4:17:15 PM

MOD MOD MOD!!!
ok, i took your advice, and my other friends gladly let me into their circle, and now i'm avoiding "her" but even though mostly everything is fine now, i still feel the affects of her words...
When she said I was fat, I started to believe it, I started to think I actually was fat. every time I looked in the mirror, I could only think of how gross I was, how fat I was. I wanted to loss weight, but I knew that I shouldn’t, because at my age it wasn’t the healthiest thing to do. But that still didn’t mean I didn’t think about it constantly. It haunted me, it made it hard for me to eat. And it made me feel disgusted with myself when I did eat. Even though I knew that I wasn’t fat, and that I didn’t need to lose weight, didn’t mean that I believed it anymore.
When she said I was suicidal, I wanted to kill myself. I started to believe that my life wasn’t worth anything anymore. I think I became depressed at some point. I started to have suicidal thoughts. Ways to make this all end. But I never acted upon my thoughts, I never tried. It was hard not to act upon my thoughts though. But every time I thought about my friends and family and those that actually would be hurt if I killed myself, I knew that that wasn’t an option. I knew that I couldn’t do it. So I didn’t. and I’m glad I didn’t cause I’d be missing out on life, one of the best things in the world, but could also be a living hell too.
When she said I was emo, I couldn’t care less. I have friends who are emo, and believe me, they may be the nicest people in the world. And I wouldn’t know what I would do if they weren’t my friends. But she also said that I cut myself, she said I probably cut myself everywhere because I was emo. But I don’t. I never did. And I know for a fact that not all emo people cut themselves, I know that. But soon I began to think about cutting myself to block out the mental pain I was going through, by turning it to a physical pain that I could endure, that I was ok with. But I never did do it. I thought about hurting myself, but never brought myself to actually doing it. I didn’t want to hurt myself even more than I was already hurting. But I still think about even now…
she left wounds that are invisible, and may heal in time, but the scars are always going to be there...
i don't know what to do about this, should i tell someone, and who?

Hey girl! Definitely talk to someone and get some help. I would go to your school's counselor. That's what they are there for! She/he can help you and talk you through your feelings. Please don't let your feelings build up and wait until it's too late!

Liz

Liz L.

XxRaNdOmLyXmExX on 11/23/2009 3:30:13 PM

MOD

thanks. i'll take your advice and find better friends.

XxRaNdOmLyXmExX on 11/22/2009 8:28:42 PM

MOD MOD MOD!!! i need advice. there was this girl who i thought was my friend and i thought i could trust her. but i found out that i was very wrong. a few weeks ago, she told me that i was fat. i knew it wasn't true, but it still hurt, then a week later, she started calling me emo and suicidal. emo, i could take, because it's just a stereotype, and i didn't really care about stereotypes, not to mention i hated them. but suicidal was really bad. i knew i wasn't suicidal, but after she told me that, i started to believe it. i started to have suicidal thoughts. about killing myself. i wanted to do it so bad, i almost tried it multiple times, but never went through with it. she also accused me of physically hurting myself, and that i probably cut myself everywhere. which isn't true. and she denies everything whenever i bring it up, and she also spread some nasty rumors about me as well. and sometimes i just can't take it anymore, and i don't know what i can do...

Hey girl. First of all, hurting yourself is NEVER the answer. Whenever you get those thoughts, remind yourself that regardless of whatever tough stuff you might be going through, hurting yourself is just not worth it. It won't make anything better. As for your "friend," it sounds like you did the right thing by trying to talk to her. But if she's being so nasty about it, I would try to find soem new friends. If she is doing all of these things, she is not a friend. Try getting to know some of your not-so-close friends better, or get to know people in your classes or extracurriculars who have similar interests as you. You deserve to be around people who respect you and make you feel good about yourself. Best, Kristen <3

Kristen Y.

XxRaNdOmLyXmExX on 11/22/2009 8:20:12 PM

Hey chicas!It seems like you guys L-O-V-E music!come to club music nd see the spots availible for a jb and what todo if you want to have a job or just be a member!
-Laney!
P.S.once you see the app copy and paste it and fill it out on the profile loves4life so you can have a job or be a member!!!

loves4life on 11/21/2009 10:58:12 PM

*MOD*MOD*MOD*MOD*MOD*MOD*MOD*MOD*MOD*MOD*MOD*MOD I and this boy who is in a whole other team at my school are the only people from my elem. school who go to my school now.(im in 6th grade) now i hav a good friend who i talk 2 all the time but she wont talk about boys and u no how some times u hav 2 hav a girl 2 talk 2. Well, she is basically my closest friend even though the person ive nown the longest is that boy. BUT im not going 2 talk 2 a guy bout boys!!!Help please.

Hey girl! Try getting her to open up about a boy or dishing on your crush. She may get more comfy with talking about boys the more she hears about them!

-Taeler

Taeler L.

artsgurl983 on 11/10/2009 6:58:30 PM

Last year i had real depression, like medicine, doctors, thearapist, the whole bit. I would think about killing myself. One time in school we were talking about murder (i go to a christian school) and my classmate asked if suicide was murder. My teacher said it was, because it is not your life to take, because God has a plan for you. From then on, i never though about killing myself, though i did pray that God would take me away. What helps is to have something to look forward to, and get yourself really hyped up about it. Then you won't wanna kill yourself because you have something to look forward to. Yeah, so that's my advise to anyone who is going through suicidal thoughts.

dolliegirl on 11/9/2009 7:16:11 PM

Why would you EVER tell another friend about that? I mean, duh, you should tell an adult but that doesn't include telling the entire school. I hope you're good at apologizing and damage control.

chic chick on 11/8/2009 11:15:53 PM

*MOD* hi i hope you can maybe help me with this. I sometimes have thoughts about what would happen if I died, how would other people think about it, what to write in wills, and ways to die. I don't think I would ever go as far to hurt myself, but when I get so stressed and sad I feel like there's really no point in me living except maybe to make sure my friends and family don't get hurt or anything. I'm just really confused a lot. But I've never physically hurt myself. How can I stop thinking like this?

Hey girl! You need to start focusing on the positive. Make a list of all the great things in your life: your amazing friends and fam, that class you love so much, your healthy eating habits, etc. Write down anything great about your life or yourself and post it in a place you'll see every morning, like your mirror or bedroom door. Also, involve yourself in things that you enjoy. Loving that art class? Sign up to take some classes outside of school too! By surrounding yourself with positive energy and just keeping yourself busy with things you love, you'll find you spend a lot less time being down. best of luck, Kristen

Kristen Y.

*wink*wink* on 11/8/2009 4:47:56 PM

**************mod***************
sometimes i get really depressed and i think "whats the point in living?!" and i think about it... then later soemthing really good happens, and i don't think about it anymore. but this happens regularly - like when i get in a fight with my sister or friend. or when my mom or dad yells at me.
what should i do???

Those arn't good things to think about. I suggest you make an effort to look at the positive things in life more. Stop to smell in the roses. Appreciate the blessings you have. Although you might fight with your parents or sister you should think about all the good memories you have with them. Also think about how sad and devastated they will be if you kill yourself. It's not worth it. However if you continue to have these thoughts i suggest you go to a counselor or your parents. Good luck girly! remember it will all be ok. xoxo kerra

Kerra S.

cheyz09 on 11/7/2009 9:31:25 PM

Sometimes when i get really sad or really mad at myself I feel like that sometimes but I actually don't want to kill myself
Kayla xoxo

redsoxlover on 11/7/2009 1:45:42 PM

mod...mod..mod
thanks allie i'll tell her.
peace out,
chesapeake

dancing4ever1997 on 11/6/2009 8:34:01 PM

MOD***MOD***MOD
Okay so i told one of my really close friends (let's call her jamey) who i liked. Then the next day she goes and tells him 'i know someone who likes you' then when he said 'who' she just stared at me. I did tell her how i felt and she said she was sorry and wouldn't do it again. Also when me and another of our close friends (let's call her Hanna) started to trust her again Hanna told her who she liked and she bluntly told him that Hanna liked him. I am going out with the guy i told jamey about now, but how should hanna and i start to trust jamey again because we don't want to grow apart from her by not telling her things. PLEASE HELP ME!!!
lots of love,
Chesapeake

Hey babe,

Tell Jamey that you're having problems trusting her and why. If she knows ands to change, that might help. really want

xoxo Allie

Allie S.

dancing4ever1997 on 11/6/2009 8:14:33 PM

You did do the right thing, Are you sure she would go through with it? I have a friend whom does have depression, and she's said shed kill herself so many times, I cant even count....

organiccheese on 11/6/2009 2:28:17 PM

hey i feel bad for you(because you have to go though that)and for your friend im only ten years old soo i dont know how its feels but just tell her youll always be there for her and do not worry

AngelWings785 on 11/6/2009 7:39:06 AM

hey girls!! i'm having my birthday party next weekend!!! i already thought of some ideas, like were going to hang out in my hot tub watch movies and hang donuts from the ceiling and see who can eat theirs fastest without using their hands!!! any other suggestions would be appreciated!
ps its a sleepover and i'm turning 14 thanks!

lovemusic!23 on 11/5/2009 8:20:41 PM

hey im having a little bit of friend troule... this girl and I had a huge fight for about 3 months then we became friends.. About a week ago we got in to another fight and i was the one tht said sorry and she said she wouldnt blame things on me bcuz she always does.... then a few days ago she thought tht i open and closed her door in the moring before school to scare her... And i told her i didnt and she still didnt believe me.. so i didnt talk 2 her for a day and then i said i was sorry for getting mad at her... but shouldnt she say sorry 2 me, for blaming something on me when i didnt do it... should i talk to her???

peacelover55 on 11/5/2009 7:31:36 PM

It was good that you tolf an adult, but you shouldn't have told classmates. You should appologize and regain your friends trust.

Check out my profile; I give the best advice!

God Bless!

Abriella123 on 11/5/2009 6:04:24 PM

***MOD MOD MOD***
shud I fix or ditch this friend?!one of my "friends", let's call her C, is friends with these 2 other girls: A and S. Well, I used 2 be friends with S in 6th grade, and the beginning of 7th grade, but now she is a total stuck up snobby attitude filled 13 yr old. Now, she is telling ALL my friends that I'm a liar and a spoiled brat!!!!now all my friends except 1 true friend, hates my guts just as much as S dus!!!!and btw, these r friends from skool, I have a lot of other friends from sports tho...and so, C completely ignores me!!!!we used 2 b so close in 7th grade, I actually became her first friend when she came 2 the school from Canada last year, and now she hates my guts!!!!I never did ANYTHING to friend C, and now I feel like a total outcast!!!!!I have a minor problem with friend A, and she only talks 2 me and is nice 2 me when S isn't around..but when she is around, she acts just like S!!!!!S luvs 2 sabotage me and 2 get all my friend against me and on her side and I just want to burst into tears because I'm gna hav 2 deal with her in HS cuz she's goin 2 the same skool as me!!!!!I don know what 2 do anymore!!!I'm wwwwaaaaayyyyy far from suicidal and I wud NEVER commit it even if I had no friends at all, so I'm def not at that point...I feel like I can't trust anybody anymore because they r just gna stab me in the back...so, shud I fix my sitch with friends A and C, or shud I ditch them cuz they r only nice when S isn't around!? THANKS!!!!!
***MOD MOD MOD***

Hey girl, I know it's hard but you're right. You should ditch them because true friends aren't conditional. True friends are nice to you all the time. You're going to meet a ton of people in HS and you have other friends. Stick to them and ditch the drama. You deserve the best, and they're certainly not.

xoxo

Alyssa B.

FutureWarriorCheerleader on 11/4/2009 11:08:31 PM

my BFF who looks like she might do that to but she doesn't say anything about it in fact she says nothing anymore!

fafa109 on 11/4/2009 8:09:53 PM

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Club Creativity on 11/4/2009 7:02:28 PM

CLUB CREATIVITY WANTS YOU TO JOIN!

Just CLICK on my name or SEARCH Club Creativity! We love getting new members and sharing our creative work!

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Club Creativity on 11/4/2009 5:32:18 PM

GO VEGETARIAN! For more info, request it at my profile Smile
Save the animals, be healthy, and stop global warming by going vegetarian. I have been a vegetarian for a year and 5 months.What is it? A vegetarian is when your diet contains no meat. How does it save animals? It obviously helps to stop the slautering of animals such as cows and chicken. How can you eat them when they are so cute (they are your friends).How does it improve your health? It cuts out lots of fat and chlosteral and records show that vegetarian have a lower risk of obesity and diseases.Plus, reduces your chance of diseases and cancer. How does it stop global warming? Lots of energy is used in meat factories and butchering. The factory also creates pollution. It also kills trees so there is room for farms that kill animals for profit. Please help and go to my profile! Thanks for reading this! -Aubrey Allie S.

glamgirlteen on 11/4/2009 5:31:07 PM

O my goodness! That is so horrible! Andie gave way awesome advice.

lasagna on 11/4/2009 4:50:37 PM

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lasagna on 11/4/2009 4:49:42 PM

MOD MOD MOD!!!!
how do i get over a guy that will never like me?? hes totally cute and nice and funny and a good artist, but he has a GF and my ex-bf is his best freind. HOW DO I GET OVER HIM??? ive liked him for months!!

Hey girl! Just keep yourself busy- join a club or hang out with friends. Anything to get your mind off of him. Then, start scoping out other guys. Really look for cute guys because then you will realize there are soo many cuter guys out there than your current crush and you will wonder why you aren't talking to them. Good luck!

xoxo

Liz

Liz L.

FOBrox on 11/4/2009 3:22:38 PM

WOW... i kninda know how u feel. one of my freinds was depressed last year and told my BFF that she wanted 2 kill herself but she wasnt totally serious. just really sad. a teacher found out and then she went 2 consuling. shes better now tho. =)

FOBrox on 11/4/2009 3:20:26 PM