I have a big problem. I think that I brag a lot to my friends but I'm not sure. I feel like because we're friends, I need to tell them some stuff that's going on in my life. For example, I am going to Mexico on Christmas break and I am really excited so I told my friends because I thought they have the right to know.
I also tell them stuff like a movie I watched over the weekend or even a family event. Is telling everything about me bragging? I can't be sure because my friends never tell me they thought I was bragging and they never complained about my sharing. I could ask them, but I think it would be too weird.
Also, I feel like my friends don't share enough. I feel like I don't know much about them. They always tell me stuff that happened one week ago. I feel like they don't trust me even though I am a really good listener. What should I do?
Hey babe, it sounds like you're over-thinking just being you right now. These girls are your friends for a reason, which means they like you for who you are. Don't be nervous or self-conscious about being yourself in front of them.
Why do ya feel like this?
I'm sure this feeling that you're being too braggy didn't come out of nowhere. Did it stem from a certain glance from one of your friends to another or maybe a lack of response after you excitedly told them about your trip? If you've got a hunch that your friends are getting a little annoyed then, then yeah, you might be pushing their buttons.
Tell 'em the good news in a diff way
Try to approach the story-telling a little different next time. Make it sound more like you're telling them something because you think it would interest them, bragging about something. How 'bout! "OMG! I'm sooo excited that I get to go to Mexico! Can't wait to lay out on the beach 'cause I'll finally get a break from classes. What are you guys doing for the holidays? I'll really miss you!" This way you're sharing a li'l bit about you're life but asking them about their own stuff, too. Remember the golden rule: always try to keep a convo balanced with back and forth banter. It should never be talk that's totally focused on Y-O-U, but ya shouldn't feel like you're interviewing the other person, either.
Set a good sharing example
As for the girls telling you stuff about their lives, maybe encourage a little lunch table convo when you get the chance. Ask each of the girls what their families do for the holidays or ask what their favorite vacation spot is. Again, just try to relax and take it easy when you're with the girls. Be yourself. Having close friends shouldn't stress you out so if it gets weird or awkward, let them know. And if they can't share in your happiness, it may be time to seek some new pals.
-Katie S.
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BY CAITLIN R. ON 11/9/2009 7:00:00 AM 33 COMMENTS