Lizzie N.

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Stuck between fighting friends

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There is always a problem between my friends. They are always fighting! Even though I like everyone, they expect me to pick a side. They fight over really stupid things. Like, these two groups of people have been fighting for over two years now, and I'm not even sure what they are even fighting about anymore.

They always try to make something up so they can be mad at each other. What should I do? Should I say something? If I should, how do I say it?

Hey babe, it can be totally annoying when groups are butting heads and wanting you to pick a side! It seems like you've got a good grasp on the sitch though, and know to stay as neutral as possible.

Boredom=drama!

Some people like to cause drama just 'cause they're bored. Really. It sounds a little ridiculous, but like you said, they prob don't even know what they're even fighting about anymore! Maybe they do it to feel better about themselves by saying stuff to put other people down, or maybe a fight really did start over some sort of argument or misunderstanding and has just escalated into a big deal—either way, it's most likely nothing that you should spend your time worrying about.

Patch things up!

Enjoy the time hanging out with your pals and if someone happens to mention a fight or says something mean about anyone else, ask her what happened between them to make her feel that way. Maybe you could say something like, "Well, since it's been so long I'm sure you guys could start over." Encourage her to talk to you about what happened so you can try to get her to see that is probably isn't that big of a deal. If she starts to get annoyed by you asking, just say that you're trying to understand her side, that's all.

The best thing to remember, though is to stay out of it as much as possible. If someone brings up a fight, then sure, ask about it, but don't push the subject too much or you might get caught in the middle...which would be a definite lose-lose situation any way ya look at it!

Here are some other great tips you should check out here this article about being Stuck in the Middle.

-Katie S.

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BY CAITLIN R. ON 11/18/2009 7:00:00 AM 38 COMMENTS

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MOD!!! I WAS WALKING DOWN THE ROAD AND CUT MY LEG I AVNT TOLD MUM BECOZ SHE'LL TELL ME OFF WHAT DO I DO?

Hey girl! Well, if it's really bad, you should def let your mom know! You don't want to let an injury go untreated for very long!

-Taeler

Taeler L.

Clawdeea on 12/6/2009 10:04:26 PM

i have a solution 4 u...join swiss just leave a comment on my profile and i'll put you on the swiss list.
u wiSh u wERe SwiSS

licoricelexigirl on 12/6/2009 1:23:37 PM

MOD MOD!!!! I HAVE 2 VERY BEST FRIEND BUT ONE OF MY BFF IS EVA AND SHE HATES MY BFF MICKAYLA BUT I REALLY LIKE BOTH OF THEM! WHENEVER I AM WITH EVA SHE TALKS BEHIND MICKAYLAS BACK AND I HAVE TO GO ALONG WITH IT! so when mickayla asked why i was being mean i just said i like u and eva gets so mad when im with you. so she said well we can be secretly friends i felt so bad!! but if i am friends with mickayla the whole school will hate me cuz everyone is evas friend! what do i do!

You cant talk behind your friends backs. I suggest you try to fix things between those two. It sucks that they always fight, but you have to be good friends to both of them. Good luck! xoxo kerra

Kerra S.

glambrat on 12/5/2009 8:06:06 PM

mod mod mod
ok so i have this friend that was my bff but then now she trys to like control me and stuff like if i dont answer the phone she gets all mad and stuff... and starts to like yell at me. and when she wants me to do something i no my mom wont approve of like goin to a store with out a parent or grown up she gets all mad and i dont no what to do.... we havent talked for a while because i invited her to my party and she was so rude... but when she talks to me or something i always feel bad so i reply... please help im just soo cunfused with her....

Hey girl! If she doesn't respect your wishes or how you're feeling, then she isn't a true friend. Tell her you aren't going to compromise your beliefs for what she wants to do. If she doesn't respect that, then find new friends who will.

xoxo

liz

Liz L.

sweetlyssie13 on 12/2/2009 5:18:35 AM

Hey girl.. just answered this question. Check it out

Liz L.

sweetlyssie13 on 12/2/2009 4:22:09 AM

MOD and girls,
I have this friend, we're in the same grade but she's younger than me.
The thing is that she talks a lot and she talks loudly.
Once in class she said something that was private
(private, but not too bad)and i dont know if the whole class heard, but she wouldn't stop talking!
I'm not sure if she's just naive or if...
Im not trying to say anything bad about her but how can i tell her not to talk so much and talk so loud without hurting her feelings?

Hey babe,

She might just not realize how loud she is. Tell her that if she's talking about something personal to do it outside of the classroom and to whisper. You can tell her to hush up without hurting her feelings. Just tell her that you want to keep some things private, so she needs to be really quiet so others don't hear.

xoxo Keltie

Keltie E.

foreverme! on 11/30/2009 11:51:08 PM

I dealt with this. When I had one of them over and the other one called, I had to go outside because they would say mean things about each other. They were fighting over me. It took about a month. Finally, I said that they were BOTH my best friends and I could never choose because I love them too much.

WaffleAddict on 11/26/2009 9:38:26 PM

so me and like 15 of my friends are all going to the movies together 1 has plans she cant cancel in the evening and another has stuff todo during the day everyone put me in charge of picking a time because im the most organized so now i have to pick which time we go and that means pretty much picking who comes i considered postponing it till next weekend but i dont want to have to do this all over again next week. wat should i do?

kb20 on 11/25/2009 4:29:58 PM

MODMODMODMODMOD~ I really need help my friends mom abused her once and idk if its still happening but b4 she got on the bus her mom got mad at her and (lets call my friend c) she grabbed c's arm and wrapped it aroud c's neck practically choking her and she came to school and told me she needed ice her neck hurt so bad. THen a few days later my friend lets call her a a told my that c was cutting herself that made me worried and a day later i saw her arms... im really worried that she will go a step further! Please help!

Hey girl! Try talkint to you girls and see if their probs are still going on. If they are consider telling an adult that will be able to take some action and preventative steps. Don't be scared, you're just being a good friend!

-Taeler

Taeler L.

d00dleg4l18 on 11/24/2009 7:38:44 PM

~MOD~MOD~MOD~
My BF broke up with me 2 months ago and like a week later he asked out my BFF and she said YES! I was at first shocked, and then really hurt. I've been really upset the past weeks. I want to reconnect with my BFF but it's hard knowing she hurt me like that. I know she never meant to be mean or cause me pain but the feelings are still there. I've tried talking to her and one minute she says I need to get over it and the next, she says how she feels so horrible. I keep thinking I'm over but then I see them hug or something and all the emotions come back. HELP!

Hey girl! I know it may seem hard, but she is going out with him. Maybe you should hang with some other friends until you are ok with hanging with her.

Eryn G.

emilyroxmysoxoff96 on 11/24/2009 3:19:29 PM

MOD MOD MOD!!! My very close friend has made a big mistake and she is feeling really guilty and lonely right now. I just found out and I want to help her. Her mother knows and everything, but it's going to be hard for her to repair relationships she's broken. How can I help her? I just want her to know that I still love her and then everything will be ok soon. Please help!!!

Hey girl! Then tell her that! Be with her to hang out and be around in case she needs someone to talk to. she will feel bad for a while but you being there will help a lot!

-Taeler

Taeler L.

Ms.Cupcake on 11/24/2009 2:42:33 AM

modd! mod! mod!
ok, my BEST friend and I are kind of in a fight.

and i think it's mostly my fault.
but it's also hers too.
It feel as if she has all the control over me.
she called me a bad friend i started crying and she said i got ppl mad at her just because i let my emotions take over me. She said i only cried because i wanted attention but its not true!
and i also lied to her

wat should i do??
thanks!

Hey girl! You need to just sit down and have a conversation with her. Tell her you're sorry and how you're feeling. Hopefully she will understand and you guys can stop being mad at each other. Good luck!

xoxo

Liz

Liz L.

misher4 on 11/23/2009 4:43:46 PM

MOD This is a long few(no names are peoples actual names): 1. How would one go about holding an intervention? My friend 'katie' is reeeealy bad at singing. Like, awful. She's a great girl, but lately, she's been a brat about singing. In chorus on friday, my friend 'Annie' was standing next to her, and 'Katie' goes: "I think you're a little off key; I'll sing louder to cover you up." Not only did this offend 'Annie' a LOT (she is a member of 2 award winning choruses, and so am I), she actually tried to cover 'Annie' up and smother her sound. Which made EVERY SINGLE PERSON in the room stare. Everybody knows about this problem, and no one wants to talk to her. I don't even want to listen to her (ya, she IS that bad), but I dont want to be mean! Bottom line: this is affecting her, me and my friends- and it has to end. She never admits anything negative about herself, and has no idea that people think what they do. Me and my friends are holding an intervention soon, and we know it'll make her mad at us, but it's for everyone's good! How do we do this as gently as possible? She just needs to know! 2. Ya know how if you eat too much candy you get a stomachache? Well, if I eat too much of certian food, get too stresed, or even SMELL certian things, i get severe pain and diherea, and the only cure i can find is taking a bath. Not shower; bath. The prob is that this is EATING UP MY LIFE! The pain is INSANE, and i cant exactly find a bathtub in the mall.

This is NOT a little 'oh im stressed but a little bath makes it better' thing- I'm worried that I have a serious disease! I'm going to the GI specialist soon (doc 4 this kinda stuff) but I cant stand the wait. I have no food allergies (stupid testing

) so its not that, but i really do worry. reassurement plz. 3. What to wear w/ VERY blue skinny jeans? Theyre soo cute on me, but i have no ideas for accessories. ()_() (. .) (_ _).

Hey girl! I suggest not holding an "intervention" because Katie will feel like you're all ganging up on her. The best thing to do is have Annie talk to her next time she says something rude. She doesn't have to be mean, just politely say, no thanks or let her know that it's not necessary to do that. As for your stomach issues, I get really bad cramps every now and then. When you go to the GI specialist, things should definitely clear up. Until then, just try to relax and watch what you eat. For your outfit, try pairing the jeans with a black top and bright colorful accessories in contrasting colors like yello or pink. best, Kristen <3

Kristen Y.

angelfood123 on 11/22/2009 5:42:52 PM

omg thats sucky i probably get tired of it and find new friends or just stay outta it

Chillio95 on 11/22/2009 8:44:24 AM

me 2! i hate it! ook...i am in basketball and one of my bff"S is in it 2! theres this other girl and she is trying i guess to take my bff... she hates my guts...but i didnt even do anything to her!ahh!why?!? i guess dats why NO ONE likes her...what do i do?!?!? help!!!!

nanis12m on 11/21/2009 2:28:23 PM

Ah, I'm stuck in fighting friends too! Well, actually, confession time- I'M one of those fighting! Ergh, I don't get why though, but my BFF is understanding.

Anyway, maybe you should just actually tell them how you feel? I know that I'm probably getting annoying to my BFF.

sarcasticgoth on 11/20/2009 10:36:23 PM

Fighting, and being mean is boring, stupid, annoying, rude, and a waist of time.

i_luv_devin on 11/19/2009 11:31:56 PM

MOD!
So my two closest friends are always fighting but one friend has a point! One friend is always accusing the other of turning everything back around to herself and knowing everything about everything. the other always gets her feelings upset and is now in counseling. I always try to make peace but its hard when i know which one is right! Help!

Hey babe, it's best to stay neutral and try to not get too involved in this. Listen to both sides and help each of them understand the other side but encourage them to talk it out themselves. I'm sure you can all work it out!

katelin s.

dot1123 on 11/19/2009 9:50:18 PM

My two BFFS used to not stand each other AT ALL. One has short term memory loss and OCD, which is you do stuff OVER AND OVER. (example: I need to feed my kitty. *feeds kitty* a minute later. Did I feed the kitty? Minute later. OH MY GOSH I FORGOT TO FEED THE KITTY) (so you have to be patient with her), and the other is really conpetitive and wont tolerate stuff like that. Don't pick a side. My friend who you need to be patient with always no matter what, will sit next to me. So I sat next to my other friend, and got talking about something they both like. They became good friends, even though sometimes still they may fight a little. But that's friends for ya. It proves that even two completely different people can get along.

littlemissbunneh on 11/19/2009 4:48:43 PM

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD!
So there's this guy in my science class who's friends with a bunch of my friends. He's nice and cute and all. I don't like him or anything tho. So my best friend heard from someone that he liked me, so she texted him about it and he was like "ew.. no" I talked to him about it and he said he thought I was ok but didn't like me like me. He's called me a few times by "accident" and today we had a 10 minute txt conversation. My friend thinks he hates me, but you wouldn't text someone you hate. Does he still hate me, like me, or LIKE me? Thanks!

Hey girl, I think he likes you. He may have LIKED you at one point, but he prob got the idea you didn't like him back so he's a bit bitter, that's all.

xoxo

Alyssa B.

AdrieH98 on 11/18/2009 11:59:19 PM

Happens all the time.

[xganzxalleinx] on 11/18/2009 11:27:37 PM

This happens so much between my two bffs!

peaceloveaa on 11/18/2009 9:57:21 PM

i hate it when that happens. but me and my friend connor have been arguing about whether i said Deserted or Undeserted in SEPTEMBER!!!!!!! but we stopped because he FINALLY said that i said Deserted!!! HAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PicturePerfect on 11/18/2009 9:55:24 PM

***MOD***MOD***MOD***
ok so there is this huge buy out on Friday for two championship football games (junior and senior) and I really wanted to go but none of my friends did, instead they wanted to go to one of theirs moms kindergarten classes and help out, so I had no one to go with and now it's to late to change my mind and so I'm going with them. I really did want to go to the game but I feel like I was sorta pressured into not going... and the issue with going to the class is 2 of my friends sorta think they know everything when it comes to children.. and they TOTALLY show it. it really gets on my nerves and i try to ignore it but i can't any more! any tips on how to get my through Friday??? (sorry it's so long)

Hey girl, sounds like there's a lot building up between your frustration over missing the game and the way your chicas act in the classroom. I know it may be hard with all that steam, but take a deep breath and cool down. You don't want to burst on 'em. That said, mention that while you love hanging with them, next time maybe you could pick what they do? It's only fair. Remember, remain calm and friendly. When they get annoying, bite your lip and set it aside for now. You'll be ok.

xoxo

Alyssa B.

Djdancerxox on 11/18/2009 9:23:16 PM

MOD!
i dont know if this is quite a question but here it goes, well my one friend(friend #1) who was a super tom boy in fourth grade, used to be like my best friend. well whenever we went to fifth grade, she was still a tomboy. i rebecame best friends with my other friend(friend #2) from third grade. they then became really good friends. so, she started rubbing off on my tom boy friend. well, last year, they got really close and are like best friends, but the thing that is wierd to me is that friend 1 is always doing every thing friend 2 does and is a super girly girl now. now they are always together and leave me in the dust. they are also kind of rude to me now. do you know possibly why friend 1 is like this now??? why do u think that they are leaving me behind??? thanks and srry it is so long!

Hey babe,

It's normal for people to change over time, so I don't think it's that weird that your friend is changing her style. Try to make an effort to hang out with them more and hopefully she'll learn that you're okay with her new style and still want to be friends.

xoxo Allie

Allie S.

auburngirl220 on 11/18/2009 7:20:28 PM

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club colors on 11/18/2009 6:57:50 PM

MOD MOD
i have a problem(ha big shocker there) but i have two crushes & the thing is that they both like me back. I have 2 descriptions of my prince charming & they fit one of the 2. one is a countryboy & we've been friends for 2yrs & we have Alot in common we don't see each other alot but we txt & talk nonstop & my parents know him & are fine i talk to him. & the other is a big cutie with deep brown eyes & can always make me laugh & we sit by each other in Every class & always flirt & he doesn't have a phone but he txt me every night on his friend's phone. My friends aren't too fond of either of them but i Really like them. i tried to wait & hang out with them to see who i liked more but i just ended up liking both of them even more. What can i do to choose who to be with?

Hey babe,

That's a tough call! I think if you're still torn in any way you should wait on making a decision. You can let them both know that you like them but that you just can't decide yet or you can keep it to yourself, but if they really like you they'll wait however long it takes.

xoxo Allie

Allie S.

dramadork on 11/18/2009 6:33:21 PM

i remember me and my friends were like that for about 2-3years! lol their was 3 of us and their was always a time where 2 of us were fighting...Really sucked.

dramadork on 11/18/2009 6:24:23 PM

me and my friends fight alot(prob due 2 boredom) but we don't expect each other 2 take sides. we used 2 but we know better now then 2 put a friend in that kind of sitchuation now.

ImAStrangeChild on 11/18/2009 6:04:50 PM

hey girlies everywhere! come check out my profile! my quotes will make you LOL!

rightfield1 on 11/18/2009 6:03:59 PM

uhhmmm....... that happen to me and my friendz wanted me to sit with them not talk to her and do dis and dat without the other and i hated it soo i got so depressed cuz i didnt want to pick so i said until u get it straight i can talk to any1 but then i just stayed away until they were talking and then we were back to normal

rcmsgurl on 11/18/2009 5:51:41 PM

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lasagna on 11/18/2009 4:43:16 PM

Mod So this guy said that we had a past when he was in 8th grade which I don't remember.Now we like each other and want to go out.I only talk to him on facebook and he's 18 and i'm 16.Also how am I supposed to tell my mom by the way i'm so scared in telling her.
Thanks
Kayla xoxo

Hey babe,

I think this guy sounds too old for you and the he's definitely giving me sketchy vibes. If you don't know him offline, stop talking to him right away. If you do know him, let him know that it's not going to happen. Two years is too big a difference at your age!

xoxo Allie

Allie S.

redsoxlover on 11/18/2009 4:37:27 PM

Maybe you hould just drop 'em? OR tell them how very annoying it is and how out of hand it now is getting? So glad my friends don't do that, then again, most of my friends are boys...

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lasagna on 11/18/2009 3:58:24 PM

i think if they ask u to pick a side say im on nobody's side u guys are both my friends and this is Ur problem not mine. its best to stay out of it.

peaceluvhappiness1226 on 11/18/2009 3:19:46 PM

MOD !!
My friend and I were assigned this project, and she came over a couple of times to work on it with me. its due on monday, and we are both busy this weekend so today is the only day we can work on it and its not even close to being done. I asked her if she could come over today so we could finish it, and she was making up all these excuses that arent normally a problem when she wants to come over. I dont want to finish it by myself but I dont know what to do ! I only have a couple of hours !!

Hey girl! You should tell her that you need to get all of the work done. If she doesn't come over, you can work on it and then tell your teacher about what happened. You need to tell her that its really important to get it done.

Eryn G.

olivia13 on 11/18/2009 2:55:24 PM

MOD*MOD*MOD*MOD* I don't like shaving and waxing but I wanna *ahem* get rid of the hair-down-there. Is it okay to use hair removal cream and will it be harmful to the skin?

Hey girl! Definitely don't use hair removal cream down there! That stuff is pretty potent and can really damage the sensitive skin down there. If you wanna remove it, your gonna have to wax or shave. Sorry!

xoxo

Liz

Liz L.

Rato09 on 11/18/2009 11:28:37 AM

Dang that IS annoying! But yeah Katie S. is so right just stay out of the way. Good luck!

Check out my profile girls, and please leave a comment, thanks!

SportyGal on 11/18/2009 8:12:00 AM

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Friends

Stuck between fighting friends

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