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Dear Carol

The Ugly Sister

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My sister is prettier then I am. I know it. I’m not very pretty.

-Bad looking sister

Dear Sister,

Ideally, sisters should think of each other as teammates, not rivals, but sisters often do compete and one sister may have strengths, the other does not. Instead of comparing yourself to your sister, become aware of your strengths. Are you friendly? Funny? Artistic? Musical? Great with kids? A runner? A scientist? Cook? Computer genius?

Focus on what you can do and enjoy. As for appearance, what makes you attractive is smiling and feeling good about yourself. If you need a boost, get yourself a great haircut or new vintage clothes. Sometimes a change in style can lead to a change in attitude.

Want More Advice? Order Carol Weston’s Girltalk Fourth Edition: All the Stuff Your Sister Never Told You. It’s got the answers to all of your most important questions. So if you're looking for tips, quotes, advice, or just plain info about growing up, friends, boys, school, family stuff, substance abuse, or any problems big and small, check out Dear Carol's Girltalk or For Girls Only. They'll help you feel confident, inspired and energized!

SERIOUS STUFF? For serious issues, don’t wait. Visit our HELP! page now.

For more on Carol Weston, visit her website: carolweston.com.

Can't solve a catastrophe? Stop stressin'. Carol's got ya covered! Just click SEND A QUESTION to get Carol's expert advice.

BY CAITLIN R. ON 11/20/2009 7:00:00 AM 134 COMMENTS

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Hey Everyone--
if you don't want to wait for a GL mod to give you advice, just post on my profile and I'll answer you within a day! Lotsa love to my girlies
<3

SuNsHiNe_LuVeR on 2/16/2010 4:23:28 PM

mod!!!
srry this is kinda a long story.
so my bfg has a major crush on one of my best friends. but wenever he is around her he is super nice to me with. like today we went on a bowling field trip and he gave me the soda out of his lunch. and we sat together and talked the whole afternoon.
i cant tell if he like me 2?1?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Hey babes, either he doesnt have a mjori crush on her OR he is your best guy friend and just likes hanging with you. My BGF would totally give me his soda, but we dont like each other. You just need to feel with your heart whether he likes you or not. xo JANA

jana k.

soccer2212 on 1/15/2010 11:34:02 PM

PLEASE DON'T READ THIS, YOU WILL BE KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BY THE LOVER OF YOUR LIFE. TOMMORROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. NOW YOU'VE STARTED READING THIS, DON'T STOP, THIS IS FREAKY.

1. Say your name 10 times.
2. Say your mom's name 5 times.
3. Say your crush's name 3 times.
4. Paste this to 4 other quizzes. If you do this, your crush will kiss you on the nearest Friday, but if you read this and do not paste this, then you will have very bad luck! SEND THIS TO 5 QUIZZES IN 143 MINUTES. WHEN YOU'RE DONE PRESS F6 AND YOUR CRUSH'S NAME WILL APPEAR IN BIG LETTERS ON THE SCREEN. THIS IS SO FREAKY BECAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKS

9mia4 on 12/26/2009 4:23:14 PM

MODMy best friend has been like my sister for 7 years. We tell each other everything and totally understand each other. Recently though, she's been kind of depressed. She's always 'seen the glass half empty', when I always see the positive side, and goes through stages when she gets very stressed and loses sleep, but I'm really worried now. Her sister went through a depression stage when she was our age, and I don't want that to happen to my best friend. I've tried talking to her, and I've tried to convince her to talk to her mom or school counselour, but she shrugs it off. She doesn't really have much to be so depressed about, and when I ask her why she feels so 'lonely', she says she has no idea. Her parents are very supportive and love her very much but I don't think they have any idea whats going on. I've run out of things to say/do. Please help!!

Hey Babes, The unfortunate thing about serious stuff like this is that you can't force someone to get help. They have to want to talk it out. What you can do right now is be there for her, keep trying to talk to her and eventually she will open up. xo JANA

jana k.

Breethedork on 12/15/2009 9:32:33 PM

wow. im kinda like this exept with my friends. im the ugly one. all of the rest of my friends are realy pretty.

ash_hollow on 12/13/2009 9:12:19 PM

check out my profile!!!!!! i will give you advice if you need some.

coolio11 on 12/13/2009 3:17:55 PM

what does MOD mean?????

Hey chica, MOD is just short for Moderator. Moderators approve and delete comments and help girls out with any problems or questions they might have. It's really fun to do because you get to meet cool girls and learn a lot about them.

Lynae P.

coolio11 on 12/13/2009 3:16:28 PM

Ugh, i totally feel the same way... my younger sis is popular, smart, funny, and really pretty (im stuck with glasses). i can get really jealous. I'm the nerd in my family. But we get along great. our differences bring us together. i trust her the most.

fastbutterflyer on 12/8/2009 8:19:34 PM

hey milina you must be very tired

lonnae8 on 11/29/2009 1:51:17 PM

miliana you didnt give very good awnsers read them both again and send me two different awnsers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lonnae8 on 11/29/2009 1:48:31 PM

everytime im with my best friend (whos a boy thats funny ,cute, nice, a basketball player, can sing, athletic, smart , sesitive,and i think likes me) my bf comes up interups us and kisses me for like a long time and i kiss back! but then my best friend kinda feels jealous my boyfriends nice to him but i think he trys to get him jealous also now my best friend has a girlfriend now and hes always busy so we cant hang out and im kinda jealous because shes so hot and everytime we talk now she interupts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
help
Dana club awnser prez. that guy i was talking about is not my best friend anymore because we never talk also do you think he went out with her to make me jealous or just because shes cute also my boy friend always stares at my bestfriends girlfriend so i think he likes her to HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! also my bestfriend knows guitar and he played one time for his girlfriend
your awnser was not helping plz try something else

Hey girl, I answered both of these already.

Miliana B.

lonnae8 on 11/29/2009 12:14:50 PM

that guy i was talking about is not my best friend anymore because we never talk also do you think he went out with her to make me jealous or just because shes cute also my boy friend always stares at my bestfriends girlfriend so i think he likes her to HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! also my bestfriend knows guitar and he played one time for his girlfriend

If it seems that this is due to one of two problems. Either your BF has wandering eyes, in which case you need to get rid of him, fast! Or, you seem insecure about your trust in him and seem to think he likes lots of other girls. Either way, this is so unhealthy. You need to talk to him.

Miliana B.

lonnae8 on 11/29/2009 11:10:46 AM

hey girlies i am sending this message to let you know my profile comment thing is a present from me to you you can blog on it you can ask me questions on it ill be sure to awnser them as quick as possible but for members only if u r not a member in club awnser all you have to do is post me a comment on my page saying 1.why you wanna be a member 2.who told you about club awnser 3. what are you good at online( advertising club stuff advice colum news person idea person ect.)this will determine what job you will have 4. how often do you stay on girlslife 5.(optional/extra credit) tell me one thing you know about me 6. do you have a club 7. how can our club be better with u in it.and thats all but if ur wondering about question 5 and ur like whats extra credit we have A points on every application like vice president application member application ect. A points determine if you will pass so lets see on this application there are 5 points per question so you are required to have 18/30 to pass at least but if u do extra credit you can get 5 more A points
peace,love,joy,bye
club awnser president,Dana

lonnae8 on 11/29/2009 11:03:00 AM

It seems like there's lots of jealousy going on here and the best solution is to keep your BF and BGF time separate. They are prob trying to make the other jealous. It'd be great if everyone got along but that's sometimes just not the case.

Miliana B.

lonnae8 on 11/29/2009 11:02:48 AM

MOD?????????
My BF of over a year and a half broke up with me two months ago, and were friends again, but everytime i start to like another guy, he starts acting strange, jealous, but at the same time its like hes pushing me to ask him out. Ive told him that i would go back out with him if he ever asked, and of course he said no then, but im starting to get mixed signals now. I really care about him, but since he doesnt want to get back together, I want to move on, but im so confused... Help?

Hey babe,

I think you need to get a little bit of space from your ex and try dating someone new. It's pretty normal for exes to be jealous but it'll be easier to move on if you try.

xoxo Allie

Allie S.

*polka*dot*hearts* on 11/27/2009 8:32:17 PM

Trust me, don't feel bad, I have the cutest sister, even though she is super young, like I mean super young, she has had like three bf's.

helpmewithlife on 11/27/2009 7:43:45 PM

1. Say your name 10 times.
2. Say your mom's name 5 times.
3. Say your crush's name 3 times.
4. Paste this to 4 other quizzes. If you do this, your crush will kiss you on the nearest Friday, but if you read this and do not paste this, then you will have very bad luck! SEND THIS TO 5 QUIZZES IN 143 MINUTES. WHEN YOU'RE DONE PRESS F6 AND YOUR CRUSH'S NAME WILL APPEAR IN BIG LETTERS ON THE SCREEN. THIS IS SO FREAKY BECAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKS

gabby gabby gabby gabby gabby gabby gabby gabby gabby gabby

kris kris kris kris kris

holden holden holden

gingadensetsuweedrox! on 11/27/2009 11:49:18 AM

MOD MOD MOD MOD
ughhhh ok so i just typed out this whole thing but then it deleted soooo im just gonna have to rewrite it

k so I really really like this guy named stephen. but he has a girlfriend (annie). stephen is really sweet and i like him a lott but i would never ever want to ruin his relationship with annie because annie makes him so happy. I just don't know how I can wait it out or what I will do if they never break up. It might sound kind of selfish but I can see me and stephen going so perfectly and and... i dont no. i just... dont no what to do. can u please give me some advice?

Hey Chicky, That's totally nice of you (and super respectful) to realize that he is in a relationship.. meaning he is totally off limits. At this point, there is nothing you can do ... Keep an open mind though, I bet there are plenty of cute guys out there that have their eye on you and you may not even realize it ;)

claudia n.

pompom0 on 11/27/2009 1:55:01 AM

Mod-
My mom and I planed to go shopping just us last weekend, because, I have no clothes that really fit me and we couldn't for some reason.
So THIS week we are planning to go shopping its near black friday which means alot of crowds.Now my mom wants to bring my stupid dad with
us...I think this is a very dumb idea for many reasons..I won't say... they would all take to long to type but you would agree.
I try telling her NOT to bring him ,but she won't listen. I won't be going shopping at all if he comes and then there would be no point to me even going! what do I do?

Hey babe, maybe you could write her a letter so she takes you more seriously and see that it means a lot to you. Just talk it out and be calm and I'm sure you can work something out.

katelin s.

lovemenot on 11/26/2009 11:18:48 PM

MOD My BEST FRIEND said that I should take angermanegment classes. Should I continue being her friend or find I new one ? What can I possibly do?

Hey babe, we all have our moments so I wouldn't think too hard about it but maybe you could talk to her and see what she meant. She could have said it jokingly or maybe she has some concerns she wants to talk to you about. Talk to her about it. I'm sure you can work it out!

katelin s.

love_10 on 11/26/2009 9:44:29 PM

MOD MOD
Okay! I'm getting my haircut but don't what will look good on me! I have thick black glasses and an oval-ish face shape. I want it short, but not like super short-short. Do you ahve any ideas on what would look good on me?

Hey girl, why not go for Taylor Momsen's short bob sans bangs. It was a really sweet look for her during the beginning of season 2 on Gossip Girl. My advice overall though? Get a pic of your fave celeb's look and bring it to your stylist. That way you get a look you love and an idea for your hair dresser to go off of.

xoxo

Alyssa B.

samm213 on 11/26/2009 8:37:35 PM

Rachek Rox

frenchy28 on 11/26/2009 7:34:30 PM

Thx mod I will def check it out again on Monday! <3

vbgirl4life97 on 11/26/2009 5:50:29 PM

MOD- my profile won't show up. I got an email saying that the mods checked it and what ever else it said. And my parents got the email and I unchecked the box that said keep my profile private. Is there anything you can do to make it show up? Thx <3

Hey girl, just make sure your 'rents approved it and give it a day or so. We're out of the office right now for the holiday, but let the mod know Monday and we'll check back on it if it's still not working right.

xoxo

Alyssa B.

vbgirl4life97 on 11/26/2009 5:37:20 PM

MOD! My profile still won't show up... Is there anything you can do to make it show up?? Thx

vbgirl4life97 on 11/26/2009 4:50:29 PM

MOD- hey Liz! Sorry I am really bored. Who is that pic of that u have for your profile or whatev it's called?

Gaspard Ulliel

Liz L.

vbgirl4life97 on 11/26/2009 4:42:23 PM

ya! friends offer the best advise! i have a few friends who i trust with EVERYTHING! when im in a tough situation, they help me thu it! & with the mean girls, just ignore them! i no its hard & feel like an annoying parent saying this but its true! they only pick on people who r easy targets. if u dont care' they wont!

peachiekatlover on 11/26/2009 3:11:22 PM

mmm. yeah. it doesnt matter how u look. ur personality matters. i kno thats wut everyone says but its true!!! All my friends are prettier than me but it doesnt matter.

Check out my profile and comment plz!!!

Jessicamustang on 11/26/2009 2:06:29 PM

I'm am so sorry you think that, but it doesn't matter how you look on the outside, it's how you look on the inside. If you would like you could try to talk to your sister and let her know you feel that way. I am sure she will understand. Try and do some things that boost your self of steam up. No matter what, every girl is beautiful!

ii11 on 11/26/2009 10:49:20 AM

MOD MOD MOD my friend asked me 2 ask u how she cud shape up and get like a flat stomach. any tips on how 2 get one???????? i kno its a weird question,, but thnks!

Hey girl! Pay attention to your diet and start exercising everyday. Getting in some cardio often, will help your girl get into shape. Tell her to check out some different cruches for getting a flat tummy!

-Taeler

Taeler L.

livelaughlove4eva23 on 11/26/2009 10:27:50 AM

MOD MOD MOD Help! I always get scared when I'm home alone (liike right now) what can I do to be less scared?

Hey girl! Occupy your time with something happy. Put in a good movie or read an uplifting book. Your time will pass so quickly you'll hardly realize you were alone!

-Taeler

Taeler L.

poptarts on 11/26/2009 9:04:43 AM

its ok. im sure your beautiful in your own unique way. she may even think that you r prettier than her. but just enjoy who you r becuase you r a great person

HollisterChick101 on 11/25/2009 10:56:50 PM

Don't worry girl. I thought that but I got over it.

P.S. Check out my profile

hitthemall#1 on 11/25/2009 9:16:14 PM

Don't be so hard on yourself!!!! Don't try to compare yourself so much with your sis. Comparing gets you nowhere and will probably end up making you feel worse. Hope this helps!!!!

hbpear on 11/25/2009 7:39:59 PM

that sucks im sorry

crunchy89 on 11/25/2009 6:42:27 PM

i feel like that untill i woke up one morning with a high self estime thats all u need and im kidda of fat and since i got my esstime out i have had 6 long boyfriends

lexiy11 on 11/25/2009 5:23:42 PM

MOD MOD MOD
i am soo srry im posting so much but i promise this is the last post
would going to get me and all my friends nails done be a good idea? would it be 2 expensive?

Hey girl! It might get a little pricey, but it shouldn't be too bad.

xoxo

Liz L.

polishtaurus on 11/25/2009 4:37:03 PM

MOD MOD MOD
thx i have another question. my birthdays in the beginning of may and my family likes to plan parties ahead of time. i was thinking about having it in the YMCA pool but idk if they hold bday parties there. do they? if they do, about how many friends should i bring? i dont wanna like ruin my parents money but i seriously have like 12 bffs. what should i do? also, what other places would be good places to hold bday parties? my house is 2 small (i live in a reallly small apt and were not allowed to have parties outside) my parents agree with having my bday somewhere. last year i had it in a gymnastics place. what other places would b a good 12th bday? srry this waz 3 questions and thank u

Hey girl! An ice rink or a restaurant would be fun.

xoxo

Liz L.

polishtaurus on 11/25/2009 4:21:46 PM

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD
hii, ive been shopping at this store justice for a while and im getting tired of it. the bright clothes are really cute but i think im ready for more mature clothes such as clothing from abrocrombie and hollister. my stepmom and i went on the website but i didnt see the clearence button so my step mom now thinks the clothes are reallllly expensive. they are but if we shopped for clearence clothing such as shirts for $13 the prices would be pretty much the same as in justice. my stepmom is getting bored of justice as well. i waz really happy cause alot of kids at school shop at abrocrombie and i love the clothes. im 11. how can i get my stepmom to let me switch stores? sorry about the long comment and thx

Hey girl! Actually go to the store and check out the clearance racks. That might help convince your stepmom.

xoxo

Liz

Liz L.

polishtaurus on 11/25/2009 4:08:44 PM

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD

polishtaurus on 11/25/2009 4:03:17 PM

Hey girls!
come check out and join christiangirlsclub! it is for all things christian and great advice!

hope to see u there!

christiangirlsclub on 11/25/2009 3:50:44 PM

we are all beutiful inside and out. you are beutiful inside and out. we are all beutiful in our own way. so yes you are very beutiful. and son't you forget that

Gabrielle2000 on 11/25/2009 12:56:21 PM

Every girl feels like that sometimes. You are probably just as pretty as your sis.
Ellie
P.S. Go to my profile for advice on anything and everything.

DayDreamer66 on 11/25/2009 12:31:39 PM

kayla77 on 11/25/2009 11:46:54 AM

MOD-
How come my profile won't show if I search it? I unchecked the box to make my profile visible and my parents recieved the email and so did I but I don't know what wrong??? Thank you! <3 (sorry I am new!)

Hey babe, it could be that it's being moderated for some reason. Double check to make sure you have the profile visible box checked and if it's still not up, email us under the "contact us" page on the site and ask there.

katelin s.

vbgirl4life97 on 11/24/2009 11:45:54 PM

Forget them you sahould do your best and not woorry about those girl. they proably jealous that u r a better player than them.

coolgirl43 on 11/24/2009 8:39:31 PM

MODMODMODMODMODMOD so i made the basketball team (yay!) BUT THE thing is, the other girls who also got on the team dont really like me that much. i really dont like them either. they are very stuck up and well, just plain rude and REALLY mean to me sometimes. im pretty quiet and dont talk to them all that much but if im going to make it through the rest of the season, i sort of have to deal with them, and they have to deal with me. how can i get them to like me just a little bit so we dont end up being worst enemies? after all, you cant be a TEAM without everyone getting along and everything. thank you so much!!!

Hey girl! You certainly can't be a team without the team liking each other. Try playing your hardest and forgetting all the drama when you hit the court. Think of them as your team members and try to get along! It will make your season a lot easier!

-Taeler

Taeler L.

Crazy Chica 14 on 11/24/2009 4:49:04 PM

MOD MOD MOD I want UR OPINION! OK i haven't had a bday party in years im a teanager now and will still be on my bday and have a few options so far (if I get to have one I really hope si 4 right now its a maybe but my bday's not too far way) 1.Haunted bed and breakfast I coul invite a max of 2 friends and it'd be 1-2 nites 2.Historic museum thing I could invite a max of 6 friends. 3.gulfarium a max of 3 friends 4.ice skating a max of my whole class 5.I want about 3 more ideas! ANSWER ASAP AND THORROUGHLY PLZ!

Hey girl! Sounds like they are all really great ideas! It totally depends on who you would invite to any of the activities! The ice skating could be really fun with a big group but the haunted bed and breakfast is so original! Weigh the pros and cons and see which will work out better!

-Taeler

Taeler L.

Memesputerpunkingirl on 11/24/2009 4:46:11 PM

mod mod mod thanks for the great advice taeler ( did i spell that right?)

Hey chick! You're so welcome; glad I could help a little! And, yep! That's how you spell it!

-Taeler

Taeler L.

sassykinz on 11/24/2009 12:24:57 PM

mod mod mod 3 things.. 1st my fam had to buy another house ( its a long story ;(!) anyway so i need to know where i can get a some really cheap "best friends" necklaces 2nd how do i make a smoothie =] 3rd im going to my dads side of the fam in a couple days for thanks giving whats somthing cute i could wear with a white and black plaid shirt?

Hey girl! Look around at Claire's for some really cute necklaces. I'm sure they are great ones there that won't break the bank. Second, there are so many ways to make a good smoothies. Try looking up some recipes and testing a few out. And, just throw on some leggings or skinnies to complete your look for Thanksgiving! It will be simple and really cute!

-Taeler

Taeler L.

sassykinz on 11/24/2009 11:49:58 AM

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Leora F.

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Dear Carol

The Ugly Sister

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