My little brother gets all the positive attention from my dad. My mother died when I was young so it’s just the three of us. My brother is a slacker in school. He even gets my dad to do his homework for him! I don't think it’s fair that my brother gets the praise for doing nothing and I usually get yelled at.
My brother does bad stuff, but my dad doesn't believe me when I tell him because my bro says I’m just trying to get him in trouble. I can't write him a letter because then my dad just makes comments all over it or corrects my grammar. One time, he even showed a letter to all his friends saying, "Isn't it cute she wrote me a letter of her feelings?" How can I get my dad to realize my bro needs to step up and I’m not the one messing up?
-Hating my bro
Hey chica,
That’s horrible and totally unfair! You def deserve better treatment from your fam, especially pops. This ain’t gonna be an easy ride, but if you really want to help the family out, here’s what you’ll need to do:
Direct convo
Before we move on, first of all big kudos on writing you dad a letter. That takes a lot of confidence and you proved that you truly care about your family when you did that. But the next time you confront your pops, you want him to really feel what you’re feeling. And for that, there’s no better way then to have a one-on-one serious convo with him. When you talk to someone face-to-face, the other person can see and feel your mood.
Use the “I” technique
When you do talk to your dad (or even your brother) as selfish it may sound, make this about yourself. Don't use stuff like, “He does this, you do that." You wanna make sure it doesn't sound like offending your bro and daddyo. What you’re trying to do is help them, so let them know that that’s YOUR intentions and YOUR perspective. You can mention that this is for them, but don’t forget to remind them that it’s not just for one person.
Adding to the equation
As a daughter, you have all the right to receive love from your pops regardless of what you’re brother is doing. If you’re really treated with apathy, that's not cool. I know it might sound uncomfortable, but bring another trusted adult into the problem. Whether it’s your brother’s teacher, another family member, or friend’s ’rents, ask someone to help you find more effective ways to solve your family matters.
Vent it out, Girl!
This whole sitch is probably stressing you out like no other. When that’s the case, there is nothing better than letting it all out. Sure, you shouldn’t be telling the whole world about your family PRIVATE issues; however, make sure you aren’t bottling yourself in it and letting it make ya a total stressball. The best way to do let your thoughts just flow is in a diary. If you wanna talk it out, grab a BFF or even an adult or guidance counselor who you trust. Good luck, girlie.
-Jean
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BY CAITLIN R. ON 11/21/2009 7:00:00 AM 45 COMMENTS