He seemed like a dream come true. Funny, smart and always there for you, this guy seemed like the perf pal. You always thought he’d be there. He got along with your friends. He gave you advice on your crush and taught you tons about sports. He was fun and one of your besties—without him, you just weren’t complete.
When things get sour with a friendship so sweet, you’re not dealing with a BGF anymore. What you have is a WGF (worst guy friend).
So what to do when he’s no longer a bud to you? We’ll tell ya if this friendship can be saved or if you should dump this meanie, ASAP!
The Two-Faced WGF
You two get along so well...when his guys aren’t around. Lately, he seems to be poking a lot more fun AT you, not with you when it’s three’s (plus) company. So what’s the deal?
Get to the bottom of it! Let your friend know what he’s doing is NOT cool. Sometimes guys don’t know when a joke goes too far. Tell him some of the things he said hurt you, and you’d like him to stop. Let him know that he shouldn’t have to change who he is for his buds, and you like him just the way he is. This convo should set him back in line.
When to let go: Your “BGF” still doesn’t change? This guy may be trying to impress his friends, but it’s clear he isn’t thinking about you. After having a heart-to-heart and giving him a heads-up, it’s time to let him go. You deserve a friend who’s true to you and strong enough to be himself. And this dude? He’s just weak.
The Flirty WGF
Your BGF has always been charming, but lately the signals have been crossing the line. Whether it’s to you or your girls, your guy’s been leading you on, and you’re not sure what to make of it.
Get to the bottom of it! Your BGF may have feelings for you! If you don’t like him, it’s time to defuse the heat. Ignore his flirting, and it should stop. If you like him, try flirting back and see where it goes. WARNING: if he’s doing it to your friends or other girls too, chances are there’s nothing going on between you two. In that case? Call him out for the way he’s acting. Leading on girls is not cool, and true pals don’t play with other’s feelings.
When to let go: If your guy keeps making moves when you aren’t interested or when you or your friend’s feelings get tangled up, it’s time to let go. Being playful is one thing, but being a player is another. Friends don’t mess with other friends’ hearts, and this guy doesn’t seem to understand that. Better you two stay apart.
The Moocher WGF
Your friend sure likes hanging with you. But when all he talks about is going out or that one girl friend of yours, you can’t help but think sometimes it’s less about you and more about something else...
Get to the bottom of it! Pay attention to the way your guy pal acts. Does he keep bringing up your one BFF whenever he’s with you, or does he always rely on you to pay when you go out? Does he spill his guts for attention...but is suddenly busy when you gotta spill yours? Try changing the convo or reversing the roles. Talk about what’s up with you, ask if he could buy you a movie ticket for all those times he owes you and ignore a conversation about your girlfriend. With no bait left, your guy will have to show there’s more to your relationship. Sink or float, you’ll find your friendship’s fate.
When to let go: Now that you’ve changed your tune, is it obvious that this guy never cared about you? If so, break it off. It’s one thing to help someone out, but quite another to take advantage of a pal. News flash: friendship is a two-way street but this fella deserves the curb. See ya!
BY ALYSSA BAILEY ON 12/6/2009 7:00:00 AM
POSTED IN bad friend, guy friend Q & A