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My BF Acts Distant

 

I have a new BF. Our relationship is good, except he says he doesn’t “want to be one of those inseparable couples.” We have a great time talking together on the phone and e-mailing, but we never really spend time together.


How can I change his mind?


I hate to say this, but you might want to look for a new (and more attentive) boyfriend. If he’s dating you, he should want to hang out with you. Right? Talking on the phone and e-mailing don’t exactly qualify as spending quality time together. It’s OK if he wants some space, but it sounds like he has plenty of breathing room and still doesn’t make time to be with you—and that’s not cool.


Did you agree with him at first that you didn’t want to be an “inseparable couple,” but now your feelings have evolved? If so, explain to your boyfriend that you have had a change of heart and would like to do more things together—suggest bowling, a movie, a picnic in the park. Who knows? He might feel the same way. Maybe he’s been protecting himself by keeping his distance.


If you get the impression he doesn’t want to make any alterations in the relationship, backtrack and try being his friend. If that doesn’t fly, you might be happier going solo!


TELL US NOW! Need advice ASAP? Click the purple SEND A QUESTION button to ask our very own Lucky for help!

BY CAITLIN R. ON 12/31/2009 7:00:00 AM 98 COMMENTS

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98 READER COMMENTS

Okay so there's this guy at my school that i really like. I only really get to see him in the hall and at lunch when he sits at my table. I'm pretty sure he flirts with me at lunch but i'm not positive. I've only told one other person at my school and i'm scared to tell him, but i'm desperate to know if he likes me! HELP!

musicgirl<3 on 1/18/2010 4:45:49 PM

Hey guys Laughing Well, I need some advice. I am always really nice to all of the girls in my class. Most of them are always talking smack about somebody else; I hate it. Now, all of them started hating me. I have no clue why, and it hurts my feelings. I am still always nice to them and never talk bad behind their backs but they still don't like me. Any ideas?




Hey girl! Continue to be yourself and be nice.  Just because they're mean doesn't mean you have to be either. Is there a reason they're suddenly acting this way? Are you being pushy or trying too hard to talk over people? just be yourself, if they don't like you it's their loss. You seem like a great friend to have, hang out with the girls who appreciate your friendship and respect you.  
Megan R.

brenna.mirie.love on 1/16/2010 10:36:42 PM

ALL MODS!
I would like to thank all of you. Your the best Smile

Lovely_star33 on 1/16/2010 8:06:02 PM

Hey mod!
I have 2 questions:
1. Why do you let these dumb "aplication" and chain mail on here?
2. My bgf told me that he likes me and i told him 2 weeks ago that i like nathan. Now im falling for my bgf but i dont want to be like "ya omar i like you now" so what sould i do?




Ive been doing my best to delete all of them. Well about your bgf i suggest you wait to see if you really do like him before you say anything. And if you find that you really do like him, then tell him what happened. Explain you started falling for him and were wondering if you still had a chance. xoxo kerra 
Kerra S.

Lovely_star33 on 1/16/2010 7:51:33 PM

☻☻☻ Its ClubYou☻☻☻
Want a club thats safe and fun?
Well this is the club for you.
Our open positions are vice president, 3 advice givers, 2 movie reviewers, 1 book reviewer and 1 celebrity gossiper.
Anyone can join just fill out the app on my profile.
we r also looking for sister clubs!
xoxoxoxo
~megan(averagegirl99) president of ClubYou ☻☻

AverageGirl99 on 1/8/2010 4:02:55 PM

☻☻☻ Its ClubYou☻☻☻
Want a club thats safe and fun?
Well this is the club for you.
Our open positions are vice president, 3 advice givers, 2 movie reviewers, 1 book reviewer and 1 celebrity gossiper.
Anyone can join just fill out the app on my profile.
xoxoxoxo
~megan(averagegirl99) president of ClubYou ☻☻

AverageGirl99 on 1/8/2010 4:02:25 PM

Thanks so much Alyssa B.!!!!!

Sandytoes22 on 1/6/2010 10:24:46 PM

MOD MOD MOD
Ok, so a while ago I went out to dinner with my family and as I walked in I looked around to see who was at the restaurant. As I looked, I instantly met eyes with a guy I recognized. I mean, I looked over, saw him, and realized that we were both making eye contact. Anyways, I realized that he was ADORABLE!!!! I also realized that he went to my school! The only thing is, he's in 8th grade (I'm in 7th), I pass by him only a couple times a day, and don't think I've ever even talked to him. With all this going against me, how can I possibly get to know him better? I don't want to just smile at him all the time and never talk. But since I have no clue what his name is, who he hangs out with, or what he's in to, what can I say? Oh, and the other thing is that every time I see him in the halls, it seems like he meets my eyes. I dunno, it could just b becuase he notices I'm looking at him. But....could it mean anything? I know its kinda dumb to like a guy for his looks when I don't know a thing about it. Do i have a chance to get to know him? Sorry for the length!!!!




Hey girl, why not try asking if you've seen him somewhere next time you pass him by. It's a casual way to spark a conversation and maybe even friendship or more. You'll never know if you don't try; I say go for it, girl! No harm done if it doesn't work out!

xoxo 
Alyssa B.

sandytoes22 on 1/6/2010 8:26:12 PM

ATTENTION TWILIGHT SAGA FANS!!!!
I JUST FOUND OUT WHEN BREAKING DAWN IS COMING INTO THEATERS!WELL MAYBE THIS DATE BUT,
ITS AUGUST 10TH 2010!AND ECLIPSE IS COMING OUT JUNE 26TH!

CAN'T WAIT!

Randafanna2 on 1/6/2010 7:54:06 PM

Hey GL CHICA!! Yeah, I'm TALKING TO U!
DO you want to join an awesome club?
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DO YOU WANT TO TAKE SOME FUN QUIZZES AND POLLS??
Then never fear chica, ClubTreehuggers is the Club 4 U!!!!!!

ClubTreehuggers is all about helping the world and making a difference. It's also a hangout for girls like you, stuffed with tips on many things, from boys, to beauty, to a healthier you!!!!

There are also jobs available such as.....
1 Workout Gal
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Come to ClubTreehuggers to see what the point of these jobs are!!!
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*This week's quiz*
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Check it out!!!!

COME TO CLUBTREEHUGGERS TODAY!!!
LaughingLaughingLaughing

ClubTreehuggers on 1/6/2010 4:04:56 PM

HEY
GIRLIES!!!

comment on my profile...ask for advice on anything...but boys are my specialty..haha...but comment please abotu anything!!
thanks

ImHisSpiderMonkey on 1/5/2010 11:48:55 PM

MOd
I like hate a guy in my school. no one exept for amy my bff knows i might like him. I'm really confused, Today we were arguing in math then he was like 'you really wanna argue bout this" then i said yeah "i argue to the point of you getting blown up" then we smiled at each other. in lunch i caught him looking at my table with this wierd michevious grin so i gave him a i like you sort of grin.
Uggg how do i feel about this boy!!!




Hey girl! It sounds like he has a thing for you too! It's your own way of flirting...arguing! It sounds crazy but it's playful and competitive in a flirty way.  Try flirting in a fun kidding nice way too...like you could tap his shoulder when you're talking to him and say: Hot shirt!  or maybe you could bond on a favorite song or band....so you have something to agree on!  
Megan R.

cocoaqueen136 on 1/5/2010 7:41:19 PM

need advice?
just come check out my profile and ill answer it that day!
~xoxo averagegirl☻

AverageGirl99 on 1/5/2010 4:30:50 PM

**************************MOD*********************
So i finally am having my version of a perfect life! A great Bf, getting along w/ all my friends, home is good! everythings great but suddenly when my Bf comes to school it looks like hes been crying all night! i am really worried about him but he won't tell me whats wrong? how should i go about it

aluckystar13 on 1/5/2010 3:47:30 PM

Come to my profile!!!!
I give advice on anything!!!!!
I will respond within 24 hours. =D

colorCute4 on 1/4/2010 9:06:51 PM

A Girl asked a Boy: -Do you think i'm pretty? -He said NO....-Do you want to be with me forever? -He said NO -Would you cry if i left? -Once again He replied with a NO. She had heard enough; As she walked away tears ran down her face. The boy grabbed her arm and said: -You're not pretty you're BEAUTIFUL. -I don't want to be with you forever. I NEED to be with you forever. -And I wouldn't cry if you walked away..... I would DIE. Tonight at midnight your true love will realize they love you. Something good will happen to you between 1:00-4:00 PM tomorrow, it could be anywhere. Get ready for the biggest shock of your life. If you break this chain u will be cursed with relationship problems fo' tha' next 1O yrs, send this to 20 ppl in yhur buddy list

ohsokwisty on 1/4/2010 3:39:15 PM

HEY GIRLYS! WHATS UP? IF YOUR READING THIS COLUMN, U MUST WANT ADVICE AND I GIVE THE BEST ADVICE IN THE WORLD!!!!!!! I WILL ANSWER YOUR QUESTION(S) IN THE NEXT 24 HOURS!! I GIVE ADVICE ON ANYTHING! SO GO ON OVER TO MY PROFILE AND ASK ME A QUESTION AND ILL ANSWER IT!!! THANKS!!!

Smile Advice Columnist Wannabe, Rebekah

sparklemonkey11 on 1/4/2010 1:04:30 PM

if this guy only wants to talk to u and email u then hes not the right guy!!!
i mean everyguy i know that has a girlfriend loves hanging out with her in public and at school so he can show people how much he loves her!!
hes clearly a dubass to not want to be seen with yew!!

verenice<3 on 1/3/2010 10:33:25 PM

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
JOIN CLUB BOOKS 4 EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WE NEED MEMBERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE !! Eryn G.

stefi2cute on 1/3/2010 7:46:56 PM

**MOD**
I have a square face, and I want get my hair cut, but idk what will look good. right now, i have long straight hair with sidebangs, and i side-part it. it is naturally pin-straight and thin... so thin that i can't curl or scrunch it, it falls right out withing 30 minutes. i want to get a shoulder-length bob-type thing, but would that look with my face shape and hair type?




Hey girl1 You should get some layers to add more volume to your hair. 
Eryn G.

pmr123 on 1/3/2010 4:56:00 PM

you should meet someone new

sixteengirl93 on 1/3/2010 1:19:34 PM

well mabey he just wants to take things slow and then ha\e will eventually hang out or mabey hes a very shy guy u should tell him how you fell though

Elena<3 on 1/3/2010 12:04:01 AM

MOD MOD MOD!!!!!
me and my best guy friend txt all the time and last week we found out we like each other. we dont know if we should get together cause it might wreck our friendship.
what should we do?




Hey girl! You could promise each other that you will be friends no matter what happens so that you will always be friends. 
Eryn G.

soccer2212 on 1/2/2010 9:42:11 PM

I was going to say if he is acting distant then it was because he wasnt interested anymore or was cheating but since he is a new guy it may just be his personality. And it may be that he just isnt ready to make a commitment or doesnt know how to act having a gf. He may be a great guy but some guys arent mature enough for a relationship until they are older.

luckykel on 1/2/2010 9:26:00 PM

******************ADVICE**************************HEY! if you ever need advic on anything feel free to ask in my profile! i'll answer questions about guys, fitness, fashion, whatever you need! just leave the question/advice needed in my profile and if its super important, put a **** next to it. ill answer in your profile unless it is private, the ill answer in mine.
*****************ADVICE***************************

skichick4life on 1/2/2010 9:15:37 PM

Answer these random questions at club middle school
1)How would you describe you style?

2)Are you a morning person or do you love your sleep?

3)Can you climb trees?

4)Do you believe in popularity or do you think its pointless?

5)Dogs or cats?

6)Chocolate or vanilla?

7)Aero or AE?

8)Girly girl or tomboy?

9)Red or Blue?

10)Yahoo! Messenger or AIM?
(Poll Made by Allyalyoxenfree)
Go to Club Middle School for more fun then check out my personal profile at daydreamer66. See ya soon!

Club Middle School on 1/2/2010 7:26:25 PM

MOD-MOD-MOD-MOD
i have kinda the opposite problem. my boyfriend and i just started officially dating, but we'd been flirting and goin out on non-official dates for a while. when we're together, its fun.. we just hang out and laugh with our other friends. mostly, we make out. and i like him... but i dont feel like i have to spend every minute of the day with him. its just that he always texts me and im's with me. and we dont always have much to talk about, so it kinda gets really boring, and i'll make up excuses to get offline. so then i feel guilty about being a bad girlfriend. so how do i make talking with my boyfriend more interesting and fun?

 

Hi babes, you don't have to respond to every text the minute you get it. Just give him a call and chat for ten minutes then get off the phone. You don't have to spend hours and hours talking and you dont have to talk multiple times a day xo JANA

jana k.

YouKnowYouLoveMe on 1/2/2010 12:11:39 PM

you deserve better!!!!!!!!!

furryanimallover on 1/2/2010 11:33:30 AM

You should def let this guy go. I mean if he likes you enough to be your BF then he would spend time with you. Nuff said.

XOXO~Courtney Lautner(Oh yeah, I went there! Tong)

P.S.~ I give the GREATEST advice in the world. Just post your question(s) on my pro. I'll answer them within 24 hours unless it's a holiday or I'm on vacay.

cmn5297 on 1/2/2010 10:01:38 AM

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD
I am having some problems withh my parents.They wont let me go to the movies alone with my guyfriend, and they wont let me go out with anyone until I am 16. I just wish that they could understand my pointe of view. Times have changed and people go out all of the time at my age (as in at school) what should I do?

 

hey girl,

 

Have you asked your parents about group dating? That's how I started dating ... my parents were more comfortable with it.


 

xoxo

Sammy D

Sammy d.

aeroprincess96 on 1/1/2010 9:44:20 PM

Thanks so much Eryn!!!

tennisroxursox on 1/1/2010 8:01:06 PM

Happy new year chickas!!! Hey girlies. My name is Samantha and I have a new club call Rainbows Colorfully. This club includes:

*Advice*

*Boy talk*

and a lot more!!!

Comment my profile and btw on my profile include name. And of tou need advice pronto put stars like this ***Sam*** and I will reply on you profile or mine.




Luh-v ya

-Samantha

rainbowscolorfully on 1/1/2010 7:58:32 PM

ATTENTION ALL GIRLS READING THIS!

if ur reading this girl talk column, u obviously care about advice. visit my profile, post me a question(if its super important, put ***** at the top) and ill answer in 24 hours, guaranteed. if ur profile isn't publicly visible, i'll answer ur questions on MY profile. thanks! pass it on to ur friends!

~aspiring advice columnist, lauren

soccergirl524 on 1/1/2010 4:59:16 PM

He's a player, PLAYER. The reason he isn't with ya all the time is cause he is out PLAYING.

i_luv_devin on 1/1/2010 3:37:38 PM

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD i sit with my boyfirend on the bus everyday and the ride is like 30 minutes each way. i feel like im running out of things to say to him. this is my first boyfriend. how can i get closer to him? -sunshine PS: plz help im desperate!!!

 

Hey doll!  You can talk about school, tv shows, music, movies, jokes... anything that comes to mind.  You can also ask questions about him in order to get to know him better.  But don't feel pressure to talk to him the whole 30 mins.  You can try to wait and see if he has something to say and let him start a convo. 

tyler j.

Sunshine4560 on 1/1/2010 2:37:33 PM

Did u hear about the new kid designer that may come arond this year or next year? IDK if this is true, but keep a lookout!

Glamno5 on 1/1/2010 1:06:58 PM

hey i know this has nothing to do with the article but what r some good ways to make some money when there is snow on the ground??!!
-Needs cash!!

goldfish123 on 1/1/2010 3:06:45 AM

*MOD*
Happy New Year!!!
My situation: In the sixth grade I really really liked this guy in my class and I was very sure that he liked me back, but then it turned out he liked this rather mean/flirty girl (not to sound mean though!). I was soo heartbroken that I just gave up on him right away and tried to forget about my feelings for him. It worked, up until the point we came back to school for seventh grade (this year) once again I liked him but tried to ignore it. So, recently a BGF shared with me that he liked me a lot in the beginning of the year. However, I didn't notice. And he was right I have asked several people that knew. So, I like him again and he flirts with me and the other girl all the time. I don't know what to do! Should I forget about him completely or should I flirt back and do my best to show him my feelings and "win him over?" What do you think? I am sorry that this is sooooo long! Thank you so much for the great work you all do!




Hey girl! You should just show him who you are and flirt and have fun and then see what happens. 
Eryn G.

tennisroxursox on 1/1/2010 2:29:06 AM

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD!!!!
I have a crush on my best friend's older brother. I think he likes me back. What should I do? What if he doesn't like me back?




Hey girl! You should talk to your friend and then try to talk and hang out with him more. 
Eryn G.

swimgirl on 1/1/2010 2:10:34 AM

MOD MOD MOD MOD
the instyler is that thing that rotates and it acts like a straightner or a curling iron. all the commercials for it say that it is American #1 hair straightner/curling iron and that it is better for your hair because it doesnt crush or burn it under plates




Kool! 
Eryn G.

dancechick7496 on 12/31/2009 11:49:40 PM

♥♥♥♥♥HEY GIRLS! WHATS UP? I GIVE THE BEST ADVICE IN THE WORLD!!!!!!! I WILL ANSWER YOUR QUESTION(S) IN THE NEXT 24 HOURS!! I GIVE ADVICE ON ANYTHING! SO HEAD ON OVER TO MY PROFILE AND ASK ME A QUESTION!!! ( BE SURE TO READ THE LITTLE PARAGRAPH I POSTED ON MY PROFILE.....) THANKS!♥♥♥♥♥

girlslifeadvice on 12/31/2009 11:04:14 PM

mooooooooood
OMG thank you soooooo much im soooooooooo close to 100 comments!!! Sammy d.

shoelover on 12/31/2009 10:14:13 PM

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD
can you please leave a comment on my profile to help me get to 100 comments before midnight...do you think i can do it?what are some other ways to get people to my profile and commenting?Thanks a lot mod!!!

 

hey!

 

Will do! Very cool! Keep asking ... they will comment!


 

xoxo

Sammy D

Sammy d.

shoelover on 12/31/2009 10:08:20 PM

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD
can you please leave a comment on my profile to help me get to 100 comments before midnight...do you think i can do it?what are some other ways to get people to my profile and commenting?Thanks a lot mod!!!

shoelover on 12/31/2009 10:01:52 PM

MOD MOD MOD MOD
do you know if the instyler works, how much it costs, or where i could get one for less then $50?

 

hey girl!!

 

What is the Instyler? Could you explain? I'll answer then!


 

thanks!!!

 

xoxo


sammy D

Sammy d.

dancechick7496 on 12/31/2009 10:00:11 PM

******************************************************************************************************************************************************Hey everybody come leave a comment on my profile...i want 100 comments before midnight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I could give you guys some advice too..both on guys and especially fashion and beauty!!!!!!!!*****************************************************************************************************************************************************If your listening to music leave a comment on my profile...if you are listening to pop leave 2 comments...rock leave 3 comments...hip hop/r&b leave 4 comments......plus tell me whatg artist and song you are listing to!!!!!!!

shoelover on 12/31/2009 9:59:49 PM

dump him b4 u guys get 2 close....

megs<3 on 12/31/2009 9:20:33 PM

******************************************************************************************************************************************************Hey everybody come leave a comment on my profile...i want 100 comments before midnight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I could give you guys some advice too..both on guys and especially fashion and beauty!!!!!!!!*****************************************************************************************************************************************************If your listening to music leave a comment on my profile...if you are listening to pop leave 2 comments...rock leave 3 comments...hip hop/r&b leave 4 comments......plus tell me whatg artist and song you are listing to!!!!!!!

shoelover on 12/31/2009 8:56:37 PM

Here's the ad ill post.

Hey Girls,

Cyberbullying is something that no one wants to go through. If you have been cyberbullied before or want to support those that have, please check out GL Girls Against CyberBullying. It is a new club started by PeaceLoveDisneyWorld123. We want to help you through it, support you, and offer any advice we can.

Please check out GL Girls Against CyberBullying.

lasagna on 12/31/2009 7:51:38 PM

FOR ANYBODY:

okay,so i ride horses but i ride western and i was wondering to anybody who rides english,: IS IT FUN????

cuz i only rode in an english saddle for like a minute,and i wasnt even posting so i dont really know what it is like.

but for the last few days,i've had a strong urge to ride english.

its probably becauz i've seen soooo many people post and such,and since it is not exactly easy to post in a western saddle,i just kinda felt like trying out english.

SO IF YOU RIDE ENGLISH,WESTERN OR BOTH(that would be great cuz then you could tell me all the pros and cons of each)PLEASE TAKE THE TIME TO COMMENT ON MY PRO ABOUT IT!!!!!! IT WOULD BE VERY HELPFUL AND NICE OF YOU!!!!!! THANKS!!!!!

freestuff on 12/31/2009 7:29:44 PM



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