Help! My parents are a big problem! They won't let me wear makeup and they don't give me any privacy with my personal life. Plus, they have the WORST style in clothing.
They say I have a bad attitude all the time but it's only because I can't stand holding all this in. I don't say anything because I don't like fighting anymore.
How can I deal with this? I’m only 13 and it’s already really tough.
Hey there, girly! I think all teens feel like their ‘rents are a li'l overprotective (I know I have!). But even though things aren’t so peachy-keen right now, it doesn’t mean that you can work out a compromise that'll make you, mom and dad all happy campers.
They’re just lookin’ out for ya…
Mama and papa love you...A LOT. Sure, you may not always agree with ‘em, but they’re your parents. It’s their job to take care of you and look out for you at all times…even when they don’t really have to. You’re getting older now, so it’s totally normal for you to want some space to try new things and make mistakes on your own. But keep in mind that for mom and dad, it can be kinda scary letting you go. And yes, it can be annoying, but they mean well.
…maybe a li’l too much
It can be tough for parents to find the balance between freedom and discipline. You’ve entered the teen years, so things might need to change around the house. Talk to them in a calm, mature and respectful tone. Let your voice be heard so that you're not holding all this resentment back.
Freedom is a privilege, not a right, so you’ve gotta earn it! Show them how mature you are by being nice, not getting upset easily and really listening to their side of the story. Get good grades, take on chores without complaining and respect their rules. They’ll be impressed and def more likely to reconsider their strict rules.
Compromise is the key
When you’re chatting with mom and pops, it’s all about meeting in the middle. Explain what you would like, but listen to what they want, too. If you wanna wear makeup, but they’re so not for it, offer to go to the store with your mom so she can help you pick out some natural shades. With clothes, find threads you like and run your outfits by them just to make sure it isn't inappro. And if you want more privacy, maybe set a limit on how long your phone convos are (they are paying the phone bills!) or how late they go (no calls after say, 11?)
If you just let them in on how you’re feeling and what you’ve been up to, they’ll be way more in tune with your needs. Just keep ‘em updated, talk things out and things will get so much better. Good luck!
~Kristen Y. <3
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POSTED ON 1/2/2010 7:00:00 AM
POSTED IN problems with my parents, my parents are way-strict