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DEAR CAROL: My Friend is Acting Like My Mom!

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Dear Carol,

My friend acts like she’s my mother, and I hate it.

She yells at me and even punishes me, and I don’t know if I should be her friend anymore.

—Friend or Mother

Dear Friend,

Have you told her the bossiness bugs you? Being politely direct should help you feel better and may help her change. Say, “I like when we have fun together, but I don’t like it when you yell at me. You’re my friend, not my mother.”

January is also a perfect time to sign up for a brand new after-school activity, like ice skating. Getting involved is a great way to make new friends.

Can't solve a catastrophe? Stop stressin'. Carol's got ya covered! Just click SEND A QUESTION to get Carol's expert advice.

POSTED ON 1/9/2010 7:00:00 AM

POSTED IN 411 on fighting with friends, dealing with competition, my BFF is so bossy

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14 Comments | Add Yours

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i am like an older sister than motherly to my friend who is a year younger than me. She shouldnt punish you, and you should just go along with it. Your parents,school or guardians are the only ones that can really punish you. Your friend isnt included in those decisions, stand up for yourself!

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by peacelove887 on 11/5/2010 11:23:49 PM

*Mod*Mod*Mod* My friend and I always fight. I believe in gay marrige (even though im straight) and she doesn't-but here's the thing. She's really rude about it. Like, backstabbing rude. She says (TO MY FACE) that "gays are stupid", "I don't have ANY respect for ANY gay person". I try to tell her to stop respectfully, but she just laughs at me. What should I do? Elizabeth PS: We just got into a really big fight, so now she's ignoring me. Should I just not be friends with her anymore?

Hey girl,

I know it can be really hard to talk about issues like that with your buds, because you so want them to see your point of view. It might be best, however, to just agree to disagree, and stop the heated discussions. Maybe if that issue is out of the way, you two will have less to fight about, and you can be buds again - even if you're friends who see things a little differently.

Marie H.

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by myheartsonthestage on 3/31/2010 4:04:05 PM

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD
My friend goes through these 'phases'(i guess you could say)where she is annoying and gets on my nerves. What should i do? Should we still be friends?

Hey! As long as the phases are shorter than when she's not on your nerves. If you feel like she's getting on your nerves for the majority of the time, it might be better to take a break from her for a little while. You could let her know what bothers you, and try to fix it, or just take a little break and spend time with other friends.

Megan R.

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by zebrasrcool94 on 1/26/2010 4:44:07 PM