I don't think my friend showers. She smells awful! I don’t know how to tell her, but her B.O. is REALLY terrible! I feel bad, but I mean her brothers and parents all smell good and stuff, so I don’t understand what she is doing.
She is nice and all, but I am her only friend because of her odor. How should I approach the situation?
Sorry to hear about the stinky sitch! If your friend’s poor hygiene has become that big of a prob, it’s time to help her smell just as sweet as she acts.
Clue her in
Before you say anything, try hinting about this smelly sitch to your chica…subtly, of course! Try mentioning the deodorant, shampoo or body wash you use and ask what her faves are. If she says that she doesn’t use deodorant or doesn’t know what kind of shower stuff she has, chat about how much you LOVE this one scent that she’s just GOT to try. Hey, even bring in a travel or sample size soap for her to have and follow up to see what she thinks. Another idea? Throw a spa sleepover and put some sweet-scented goodies in a take-home bag or sample some diff scents at the party itself.
Unfortunately, hinting can sometimes mean people won’t hear ya. If your gal isn't getting it, it's time to chat. Now, make sure you don’t come across as bossy, rude or mean. (Don't flat out tell her she stinks!) When you’re alone, gently let her know what’s on your mind. Make sure she understands that you don’t mean to be hurtful, and you’re just trying to look out for her. You don’t want people judging her or talking about her behind her back!
Point out the positives
While you’re chatting, point out all her good qualities, too. Start off the convo with stuff like, "You're such a great friend and I really appreciate how you're always there for me, but lately I've gotten a little concerned about a health issue..." then dive into the whole stinky sitch as politely as possible. Explain that she’s a totally great gal and awesome friend, and you don’t want other people’s way wrong judgments to keep them from seeing her beautiful self. If you’re gentle, phrase things right and make sure it’s totally clear that you only mean well, I’m sure this talk will go smoothly. If she still doesn't listen? Tell a health teacher, guidance counselor or school nurse what's up.
~Kristen Y. <3
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POSTED ON 2/24/2010 7:00:00 AM
POSTED IN how can I help my friend