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Ask A Guy: My Friend CAN'T Get Over Her Ex!

 

Need advice from a REAL guy? My name’s Mike, and I’ve been the relationship doctor and best guy friend to my girl friends for longer than I can remember. I’m GL’s new BGF, and I'm here to help you make your boy problems less complicated. I know how we are. 



The Sitch: 

My BFF is seriously getting on my nerves about this boy (let's call him Alex). She went out with Alex about a year ago for about three weeks, but she liked him sooo much. Then Alex broke up with her. My BFF begged Alex to take her back, but it didn't work.


So, she asked all of her friends to ask him why he broke up with her, to take her back and that she messed up, etc, etc. That didn't work either. My BFF cries herself to sleep and says she thinks she loves him. One of my BFF's friends told Alex that my BFF thinks she loves him, and Alex said he was sorry, but he didn't share her feelings.


To try and get over him, my BFF went out with about five or six different guys. But, she broke up with them within a couple days. It’s been well over a year and she still can’t get over Alex. She says she's tried just about everything to try and get over him, and I've tried giving her advice but she just says, "Ohh that won't work, I've already tried that." And I just don't know what to tell her anymore.


Can you tell me how I can help my BFF? Because I can't stand to see her torturing herself like this over some guy. 
 



You are a really great friend for sticking by her side through all of this. Keep being there for her and letting her vent to you. I’ve had a lot of friends who have had trouble getting over guys, and the best cure for them was being able to talk about it. Getting over a guy is something that happens over time. Sometimes, it takes a really long time if the girl seriously cared about (or loved!) the guy who broke her heart.


As a best guy friend to girls, I’ve realized how insensitive boys can be after a breakup; not really caring if their ex is OK or not. A lot of girls feel lost or stuck when relationships end. I’ve found that it’s best to get the heartbroken girl to do stuff that she loves that’ll take her mind off the guy in question. Do everything you can to distract her—like hanging out with new people (who aren’t friends with Alex) or talking about other things besides him on the phone at night to help her sleep. It will take time, but it’ll help her realize faster that she doesn’t need this guy when she’s got a best friend like you.


-Mike D. 

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POSTED ON 3/1/2010 7:00:00 AM

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