I have this boyfriend who I never really get to talk to alone. He wants to talk to me, but his guy friends and even other girls pull him away. When one girl said she needed to talk to him in private, not only did I go off on her, but I gave my boyfriend quite an earful, too!
Now he thinks I want to break up with him. Should we break up, or talk it out?
Hey girl,
Hmm...think this through before calling it quits. Weigh out the pros and cons and figure out if YOU wanna break up or try to work things out.
Pick up and pen and patch it up
Try confronting your cutie when he's alone (schedule a time in advance or write him an e-mail or letter than he can respond to on his own time). Don't make him feel cornered, but point out that his constant popularity has you feeling like an option, not a top priority. Be respectful of his feelings and say something like, "Hey, I think you're nice and it's great that you have lots of friends, but I'd like to get to talk to you alone every so often." Apologize for your dramatic flip out, and let him know that you're OK with him having girl friends, so long as he doesn't get flirty with them or ditch you to hang with them instead. Then, offer ways to remedy the sitch.
Clear communications
So, you say you never get to talk to your guy alone? Then when DO you get to talk to him? Have you ever gone on a date just the two of you? If you haven't, it's time to step up your game. OK, if you're too scared to take it to the one-on-one date level just yet, ask him to go on a double or group date with other couples. This way, everyone else will be so focused on their significant others that you'll have time to talk to yours. Oh, and make sure it's a venue where you can actually chat (um, that rules out the movies!) like a walk in the park (spring's almost here!), or an ice cream sundae date.
Too popular to date?
Can't seem to get your cutie to clear his sched for a li'l time with Y-O-U? Then you might wanna rethink the relationship. If your dude's too popular or too busy to commit, it's totally unfair to both of you. Yeah, it kinda stinks, but find a fella who's ready to give you what you deserve.
-Jean L.
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POSTED ON 3/12/2010 7:00:00 AM
POSTED IN dealing with a breakup