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33 Comments | Add Yours

Dealing with divorce...and abuse

 

Check these out, too...

  • Feel left out of Dad's life
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  • My dad is sexually abusing me. How can I tell my mom?

A month ago my parents got a divorce, and everyone has been fighting a lot. She even threatened to get back at my dad by not letting him see me until I turn 18. Sometimes when I voice my opinion in a reasonable way she yells at me and sometimes hits me.


I am to the point where I am about to say something that would really hurt her or accidentally hit her. Why should I suffer or show her respect when she doesn't give me any in return no matter how nice, patient and kind I am to her?


Hey girl,

Family situations are definitely the most stressful and difficult to deal with. But everything will be OK in the end, so stay strong!


Have a heart-to-heart

Most importantly, the thing that needs to happen first is for you and your mother to have a heart-to-heart. A divorce stresses everyone in the family out. Let her know that you’re there for her. Also let her know how her mistreatment is making you feel. If you don't feel like chatting mom up one-on-one, please write her a heartfelt letter. She needs to know how you feel.


Ending abuse

Another thing that's a major concern is the abuse. Yes, you can talk to your mother, but I urge you to get help as well. Please talk to your guidance counselor or a trusted adult about what's happening. I know you love your mother and want to work things out. But, you also need to take care of yourself. And in the end, this will help your mother be the best mom as well. If you feel you need help ASAP, please head to our Tough Stuff hub for help hotlines.


Please don't ever blame yourself for anything that's going on right now. Talk to your dad or another relative who would understand what you're going through.


I know this situation is tough! Hang in there and know that everyone at GL is always there for you!


XOXOXO,
L.A.

GOT YOUR OWN FAMILY FEUD? CLICK HERE to submit your own problem to be answered on Girl Talk!

POSTED ON 3/13/2010 7:00:00 AM

POSTED IN dealing with divorce, abuse

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33 Comments | Add Yours
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Today in the car my mom broke it to me that my mom and dad are getting divorced. I nooded and said I wasn't okay with it at all but I'll live with it. I want to ask my mom if I can tell my friends. If she says no I'll be completly lost. I need someone I know and trust thats my friend to confide in. I feel sometimes awkward and uncomfortable with my dad. I love him and he loves me but I don't know what to do. Please help!

 

Hey pixiehollowlover, I think you should talk to your friends about it. Your mom doesn't have to know, it can just be a convo between you and your bestie. I confide in my friends all the time, so no worries. I'm sure your mom won't find out. Hope this helps! Xoxo


Lynae P.

report

by pixiehollowlover on 9/6/2012 10:26:48 PM

 
 

*****MOD!!!!!!!!!!***********************
IDK what to do....
my parents are divorcing...i currently live with my dad but i'm not sure if i need to stay with him or go live with my mom, or which one i want to do.
My mom abused me once, and so my dad says that i shouldn't forgive her for that...but the thing is that he is a bully and abuses me almost everyday. If I stay with him, i will be living in poverty but if i go with my mom, i will be middle-class, almost upper class. but my mom works, so i'd have to be home alone or go be with my dad, who doesn't work. I'm kinda leaning towards going to live with my mom but i know it'll make my dad angry and also with my dad, i'd go to this church that has a lot of youth that i've known since i was 2 (i'm almost 13) but with my mom i'd go back to my old church which has people that are cool but not that many youth. IDK what to do, i wanna go live with my mom but my dad will get angry if i do....please help!




Hey girl, you should go where you feel happiest and safest. If you feel really uncomfy maybe you can talk to a close relative, spend time elsewhere while they settle this, because its a really stressful time for the both of them. Don't take what they say to you personally because like I said they're both really stressed, of course. But definitely if they make you feel uncomfortable, talk to someone about it!
Lauren R.

report

by juliesbff212 on 4/10/2010 2:53:07 PM

 
 

DO YOU NEED ADVICE????
HEY! If you need advice or just for someone to listen! Check out my profile!!!! I’m a very good listener and love helping people. I’ve live through tons of stuff and a lot of embarrassing stuff as well so don’t be afraid! I’m here to talk!!!

report

by GoGreenGoPeace on 4/4/2010 10:34:06 PM

 
 

That's really mean 4 ur mom 2 do that 2 u... I would try to move in with ur dad cuz appearentaly ur mom is mad and needs 2 cool down

report

by Samantha V on 4/4/2010 12:13:21 PM

 
 

***********************************************************************HEY YOU! yeah, you! Need help or advice on guys???? Well you questions bout them dudes will be answered! You can gaurentee that i will answer that day, the following day, or the following day after that. But it will probably be on that day or the following day. Yep, i am a teenager thats going through the same stuff chica. And don't worry, its all confidential! Be fearless, and ask me anything! :]

report

by purpledancer733777 on 4/3/2010 9:14:41 PM

 
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