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Dealing with divorce...and abuse

 

A month ago my parents got a divorce, and everyone has been fighting a lot. She even threatened to get back at my dad by not letting him see me until I turn 18. Sometimes when I voice my opinion in a reasonable way she yells at me and sometimes hits me.


I am to the point where I am about to say something that would really hurt her or accidentally hit her. Why should I suffer or show her respect when she doesn't give me any in return no matter how nice, patient and kind I am to her?


Hey girl,

Family situations are definitely the most stressful and difficult to deal with. But everything will be OK in the end, so stay strong!


Have a heart-to-heart

Most importantly, the thing that needs to happen first is for you and your mother to have a heart-to-heart. A divorce stresses everyone in the family out. Let her know that you’re there for her. Also let her know how her mistreatment is making you feel. If you don't feel like chatting mom up one-on-one, please write her a heartfelt letter. She needs to know how you feel.


Ending abuse

Another thing that's a major concern is the abuse. Yes, you can talk to your mother, but I urge you to get help as well. Please talk to your guidance counselor or a trusted adult about what's happening. I know you love your mother and want to work things out. But, you also need to take care of yourself. And in the end, this will help your mother be the best mom as well. If you feel you need help ASAP, please head to our Tough Stuff hub for help hotlines.


Please don't ever blame yourself for anything that's going on right now. Talk to your dad or another relative who would understand what you're going through.


I know this situation is tough! Hang in there and know that everyone at GL is always there for you!


XOXOXO,
L.A.

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POSTED ON 3/13/2010 7:00:00 AM

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