I am really shy. In my classes, I have no one to talk to! When we need to choose a seat or partner in class, I’ll end up sitting alone. I want to make some new friends, but I am too shy to start a convo with my classmates. When I do try to talk to them, it is really awkward and ends badly.

It’s not like I’m a total loner; I do have buds outside of my classes, but I always feel so uncomfortable when I’m in school. How can I break out of my shell and be more outgoing?

Hey girl, believe me when I say I know what it’s like to be a wallflower. People can seem way intimidating especially the first time you talk to them. What worked for me? Giving myself challenges to be more outgoing, doing the things I wasn’t so comfy with and getting involved.

Make being more outgoing a personal goal. When I was breaking out of my shell, I found it extremely rewarding to make up li’l challenges for myself. One of my faves was to talk to five different (and new) people and ask how their day was going during the school day. I found when I pushed myself out of my comfort zone doing activities like that, not only did I get closer to my goal, but I made more friends too.

I also made a point to do more public speaking activities. These activities made me much more comfy with talking to a crowd and raising my voice. One of the most rewarding opts I took was emceeing at my middle school talent show. At the end of the evening, when everyone applauded for me, I realized that I had done it. I wasn’t just the girl in the corner, and you don’t have to be either. Look for activities in your school and community that emphasize speaking and sign up for them. Confidence is most important thing to project.

The best thing any shy person can do is join a team. Go for a drama production or a sport this spring. Both activity set you up with a core group of kids with -- you guessed it -- the same interests. Make it a personal goal to get to know each person in the ensemble by talking to them one-on-one. Good-bye timidity, hello new BFF!

Infinite xoxo’s,